... scratch that, they'd probably still sound the bleeding same at the end.

The Gallaghers - forced to listen to some music by black people (The Beatles with Billy Preston doesn't count)

Lady Gaga: Six months playing bar-room piano for a boogie band touring the Deep South (I actually think she'd thrive on it)

Diamanda Galas: an album of Aqua covers

Mastodon: touring an all-electropop album. In drag.

Belle and Sebastian: a concept album about British Wrestling (oh, wait...)

Gene Simmons: a year's sabbatical, working on a collective farm in Venezuela

Joni Mitchell and Donald Fagen: a years' combined ban on smoking and jazz

Jack Black - made to record an album produced by Xenomania or similar.

Rhianna - an afternoon with Kate Bush.

Kate Bush - forced to go on tour with Dumpy's Rusty Nuts in the hope that full immersion in the toilet circuit will cure her fear of touring.

Mariah Carey - to be locked in a room with the complete works of Dusty Springfield until she learns to stop all that yodelling

Simon Cowell - to be shown his own money heaped up in piles to encourage the notion of early retirement.

U2 - complete hand and vocal chord amputation. There is no other cure.

A spandex jumpsuit and a diamante codpiece