Entertainment For Lively Minds
Rock n' Roll Ribs
Exciting news reaches Kirk Central to the effect that Ian Maiden drummer Nicko McBrain has opened a restaurant in Florida! On the menu are such delights as the House Band Salad ($3.95), Security Staff Stuffed Potato ($8.95) and the fruitily titled Backstage Chix Sandwich ($8.95). Which leads me to wonder what other back up plans rock stars have for when their appeal becomes more selective - it can't all be trout farms, surely? Whither "Paul Di'Anno's Pianos", or "Dave Murray's Curries"?
I wonder if The Massive have any suggestions as to alternate trades that could be undertaken by rock's glitterati?
ps I understand that the bass player from The Love Trousers has already opened a niche speciality greengrocers called "Mark Ellen's Melons".
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I gather Percy has opened a garden centre called
Robert's Plants
EDIT: There's a new specialist concession just opened there...
'The Edge's Hedges'
Sheffield crooner with handy freight sideline
Hawley's Haulage
Co-founder of arch 90's pop trio, also purveyor of tonsorial assistance to the follically-challenged - Pete Wiggs' Wigs
When not busy tending to his lamé jacket...
the lead singer of ABC can do up a nice sausage, rasher, pudding, beans, tomato, mushrooms and a fried slice at Martins Frys?
Lowell George is opening up a shoe shop
specialising in kids shoes...
Shaky's Shakes
Cardiff Elvis and recent assault controvertialist opens a Malt Shop.
Lydon's Pie-dom
East end eel emporium includes plenty of Country Life in the mash.
Stephen Stills
Ex coke-fiend and genius guitarist vends Siemens Nixdorfs and barcode scanners to the world of retail.
Those in the Midlands who need a bracket..
...with which to secure their Enid Blyton memorabilia will doubtless be delighted at the recent opening of Noddy Holder's Noddy Holders.
The Members
lead singer has opened a chain of supermarkets. And I believe the lead singer (talker?) of Art Brut owns a chain of catalogue shops. And didn't the Judas Priest bloke open a bike shop?
The Belfast Tainted Gobiron Taster has launched a range
of Ice-Cream vending vehicles;
Van Morrisons Morrison Vans
http://www.whitbymorrison.com/Vans-And-Trucks/Ford-Transit/Cummins-Mk25....
Roddy's Frames
Picture hanging from the ex-Aztec Camera frontman
David's Hepworths — Word publisher recreates the 70s fashion chain, specialising in brown suits and kipper ties
Bert Fripp's
Fish n' Chips
Randy old rock'n'roll pioneer
diversifies into the soft fruit market: Chuck's Berries
Bland, unpalatable third-world saviour goes into bland, unpalatable dog biscuit manufacture as tax dodge: (go on, guess!)
His dog biscuit factory would, presumably, be located
in the Netherlands?
Quite possibly....
on the Edge of a town somewhere.
Chris Squires'
Remould Tyres.
And at this festive time of year it's nice to be able to rely on the Fortnum & Mason of the rap world with the home delivery service provided by LL Cool J's Special Yule Trays.
Neil & Jim's
Diamonds & Rings
Richard Starkey's
House and car keys. (Cut while u wait.)
Jeffrey Hammond Hammond's...
...oh, I give up..
The Blue Öyster Cult's singer's florists:
Eric's Blooms.
Jangly power-pop confectionists:
Matthew's Sweets
Somewhere out in Twitterspace, Archie's nose rises to sniff the breeze.. a primal force calls him.. there is punnery to be made..
Little Boot's
Miniature pharmacy
Pixie Lott's
Magical Auction House
Duffy's
Junk Shop
Motorhead's Soda Breads
I wouldn't want one...