Oasis album titles. I've said this about their songs, but the same applies to most of their album titles: they're largely meaningless; and don't get me started on that crap about giants and shoulders.

I have yet to work out what Blonde On Blonde means. And for God's sake, don't Google it.

"Listen Without Prejudice Volume One"
I thank you.

"The boy bands have won, and all the copyists and tribute bands and the TV talent show producers have won, if we allow our culture to be shaped by mimicry, whether from lack of ideas or exaggerated repect. You should never try to freeze culture. What you can do is recycle that culture. Take your older brothers hand-me-down jacket and restyle it, re-fashion it to the point where it becomes your own. But don't just re-gurgitate creative history, or hold art and music and literature as fixed, untouchable and kept under glass. The people who try to "guard" any particular form of music are, like the copyists and the manufactured bands, doing it the worst disservice, because the only thing you can do to music that will damage it is not change it, not make it your own. Because then it dies, then it's over, then it's done, and the boy bands have won."
Phew..... Lucky no-one on this site could fall prey to that sort of criticism, eh!
Pretentious claptrap from one-trick has-beens? Absolutely not. The Chumba accoustic are as good as it gets. I for one will be adding this to my collection this week.

He's had quite a hefty clutch of examples of pomposia magna among his album titles, but I always thought that Poetic Champions Compose sounded like it ought to have been the clue to seven down in yesterday's Telegraph crossword.

Pretty much anything by King Crimson in their early years, my favourite being "Larks' Tongues In Aspic", although to be fair Robert Fripp clearly saw the funny side as he subsequently named several pieces on later albums in tribute, most notably 'Shark's Lungs In Lemsip'.

Always liked Joe Walsh's "The Smoker You Drink, The Player You Get" too.

Surely she wins with:

When the pawn hits the conflicts he thinks like a king. What he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight. And he'll win the whole thing before he enters the ring. There's no body to batter when your mind is your might. So when you go solo, you hold your own hand. And remember that depth is the greatest of heights. And if you know where you stand, then you know where to land. And if you fall it won't matter, cuz you know that you're right.

At least the Chumbawamba one I can understand.

No contest. But a special mention for Henry Cow's Legends,maily cos of the explanatory picture. Of a sock, I seem to recall. As in a leg end.

O how we laughed. But mainly at Pye Hastings shirts.

But The Art School Dance Goes On Forever.

Pete Brown and Piblokto!

from Mr Johns is pretty ridiculous!

Pete Brown again - he likes 'em ridiculous.

was Michael Jackson's 'HIStory'. Yes, we get the play on words Mike.

...My People Were Fair And Had Sky In Their Hair But Now They're Content To Wear Stars On Their Brows by Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Meaningless twaddle without an "r" in it.

whenever I am reminded that The Vapors once put out an album called New Clear Days.
The misery is compounded by the knowledge that the band‘s lead guitarist was a direct descendant of Sir Joseph Bazalgette who built the London sewerage system (and whose engineering innovations in this field were copied the world over, making him pretty much top dog in the history of the public health and sanitation line). Talk about reverse evolution.

What was the name of his other descendant and what did he do? A: Peter Bazalgette, who was behind bringing Changing Rooms, Ready, steady, cook, Ground Force and, of course, the british version of Big Brother to our TV screens. Playing guitar in the Vapors suggests Edward, for it was he, is other than the black sheep. (Am I alone is suspecting Richards real fristration is that he bought the CD in question?
P.S. I went to med school with Mark Bazalgette, presumably another of the sewage lineage.

"Most of the remixes we've made for other people over the years except for the one for Einstürzende Neubauten because we lost it and a few we didn't think sounded good enough or just didn't fit in length-wise, but including some that are hard to find because either people forgot about them or simply because they haven't been released yet, a few we really love, one we think is just ok, some we did for free, some we did for money, some for ourselves without permission and some for friends as swaps but never on time and always at our studio in Ghent."

Snappy.

Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness

Machina/The Machines of God

Machina II/The Friends & Enemies of Modern Music:

Much of Billy Corgan's recorded output shares its title with the kind of meandering, pseudo-scientific public lectures that one might have heard in Victorian London.

Keeping on the Yes theme, pixie voiced mystic Jon Anderson's 2005 live jaunt was called 'Tour of the Universe' He visited Manchester, York, Newcastle and London.
Sadly the show on Uranus was cancelled.

In case you thought the matter was settled, might I remind you all over the following work of, ahem, genius.

Bow Wow Wow's 1981 classic: See Jungle! See Jungle! Go Join Your Gang Yeah! City All Over, Go Ape Crazy!

By Limp Bizkit is stupid and hideous in equal measure. Apparently it's rude, but I can't be bothered to look up why.

Squirrel and G-Man Twenty Four Hour Party People Plastic Face Carnt (sic.) Smile (White Out).

That's pretty crap, isn't it?

...Type O Negative's fake live album, which rejoices in the title: The Origin of the Feces.

...are often wonderfully verbose. Jon Anderson's 'Olias Of Sunhillow' springs to mind, which is apparently a concept album but I find it faintly unlistenable (and I speak as a huge Yes fan!). ELP's 'Works Volume 1' has them staking their claim as classical composers- shame I find 'Piano Concerto Volume 1' to be really boring (and again, I love their 1970-4 work).

How about Incredible String Band's '5000 Spirits Or The Layers Of The Onion' and 'Wee Tam and the Big Huge'?

Not one mention for "I Oughtta Give You a Shot in the Head for Making Me Live in This Dump" by Shivaree? Blimey.

Alicia Keys - As I Am (and what exactly are you Alicia?)

Maroon 5 - It Won't Be Soon Before Long (indeed, whatever are you rambling about?)

Seether - Finding Beauty In Negative Spaces (I'm sure I have a book with that kind of crap too).

Birdman - 5*Stunna (Oh shut up you misogynist)

Erykah Badu - New Amerykah: Part One (4th World War) (I used to like you Erykah)

Chrisette Michele - I Am (possibly related to Alicia Keys perhaps)

Plies - The Real Testament (Sorry did you say your name was PILES)

50 Cent - Curtis (Sorry which one is your name again?)

2Pac - The Best Of 2Pac - Part 1: Thug (One for the kids)

Truly the signs of energised marketing departments.

The Two Dannys did this on RADIO 1 back in the Nineties,
The Rule of Thumb was "Heavy Metal" Good ,"RAP" bad.
One of the Rap ones was The Fabulous DIGABLE PLANETS album: Reachin' (A New Refutation of Time and Space)
and a good example was Alice Donut:The Untidy Suicides of your Degenerate Children.
Most of the others were in similar vein,but the winner...
GEORGE MICHAEL-OLDER

`K` by Kula Shaker - rubbish. () by Sigur Ros - excellent.Ys by Joanna Newsom - misguided by Jude Rodgers. Greatest Hits by Anyone - Lazy.

...nobody has mentioned Pink Floyd's UMMAGUMMA yet.
I always remember the time a college mate sat me down to listen to 'Several Species Of Small Furry animals Gathered Together In A Cave And Grooving With A Pict' - and was most upset when I spent the whole track p***ing myself with laughter...

I always think of that U2 album as How To Dismantle An Atomic Kitten.

Mr Robert Zombie and his cohorts came out with a couple of stonkers - 'La Sexorcisto: Devil Music Vol. 1' (as expected, Vol. 2 not forthcoming...) and 'Astro Creep: 2000 - Songs Of Love, Destruction And Other Synthetic Delusions Of The Electric Head'. The latter was home to the classic 'El Phantasmo And The Chicken-Run Blast-O-Rama'.

Sing along now, y'all!

"If I could do it all over again I'd do it all over you."

Yeuch.

Are ever dependable for their just-plain-rubbish album titles.

Worst atrocity is clearly...

Language. Sex. Violence. Other? (you read that on a DVD box, didn't you?

But also pretty bad are:

You Gotta Go There To Come Back (really?)

Just Enough Education To Perform
(think you're being a little too kind on yourselves?)

And only slightly more bearable are:

Pull The Pin (please! Now!)

and

Performance and Coctails (the band delightfully refer to this one as 'Perm and Cock'

Still think the first album was good though.

Has to be 'Songs from an American Movie Vol.1 - Learning How To Smile' by Everclear.

It makes me shudder with horror every time I think about it

I have a huge amount of time for Ryan Adams, but his album titles are often terrible:

Heartbreaker - it's a sad album

Gold - it's a more upbeat, radio friendly album

Demolition - Made from discarded demos. Geddit?

Rock 'n' Roll - come on, make an effort. Almost redeemed by calling his next EP release Moroccan Role...

Love Is Hell - no kidding; that's profound

The Suicide Handbook (unreleased, but still) - what are you, 16 years old?

However, at least four of these contain wonderful music, so you could say I'm being picky.

another late entry: "Raingods With Zippos"-Fish

by "Welsh rockers" Budgie.

Lola versues Powerman and the Money Go Round. part one....

The Kinks Kronikles

The Kinks Kontroversy...

So many comedy K's Krusty the Clown would choke....

This Is Our Art, Useless, Boring, Impotent, Elitist and Very, Very Beautiful by The Soup Dragons.
Majestic Head was a very fine single from it.
Cheers
Alex

"Has to be 'Songs from an American Movie Vol.1 - Learning How To Smile' by Everclear. It makes me shudder with horror every time I think about it"

.... I could not agree more, when I first saw the album's name (and equally repellent album cover, all very Garrison Keiller in its origins - whenever I hear that irritating old sod start sounding off another homespun slice of verse concerning some mythical US midwestern heartland, I just want the carpet-bombing to commence!), I had to force back the urge to projectile vomit in all directions.

Was there ever a followup Volume 2? I daren't look! Seems to me there's a lot of such first-in-a-sequence album titles that never make it to second base - eg Georgious Michael's "Listen without prejudice Vol 1" and Bowie's "1. Outside", which finking about it might have been the truncated form of "1. Outside : A Gothic Hyper Cycle".

Mentions in dispatches for my favourite album of all time (well, least its been for the last 17 years), and its bafflingly awful cognomen, that of Win's 1987 postpunk pop classic "Uh! Tears Baby (A Trash Icon)". I still reckons it cost 'em a shedload of album sales due to its grammatical impenetrability.

Best Regards,
Freaky Trigger

There was a follow up.

Brace yourselves for:

'Songs From An American Movie No.2 - Good Time For a Bad Attitude'

Moody Blues albums:

Days of Future Passed
In Search of the Lost Chord
On the Threshold of a Dream
To Our Children's Children's Children
A Question of Balance
Every Good Boy Deserves Favour
Seventh Sojourn

10cc albums:
How Dare You?
Sheet Music (misread by me, as something completely different)

Caravan:

Cunning Stunts (see above)

I do actually OWN the said Moody Blues albums I stated on vinyl, and on the original Deram record label too. Their titles just confuse me.

Not that am slating them [The Moody Blues] at all. I do love the melotrone sound of old and the Moog.

Now where's that snog from you!

Van Halen - For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.

Flashback to a 14 year old me. I have a mullet, a black Iron Maiden t-shirt and am wearing huge white baseball boots. I'm looking at this album in HMV, Pinstone Street, Sheffield (It's a Spec Savers now). My mate Sam is with me...

Me: That's a terrible title! What on earth is that supposed to mean?

Him: Carnal's a rude word isn't it?

Me: Oh cool! I'm having this. Where's my record token?

I moved house a couple of years ago and was re-shelving my albums. I dug this one out and looked at the title again. It hit me 16 years later what it spelt if abbreviated....

Doh!

"Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie" by Alanis Morrisette? The album featuring "Thank You," a song which involved her hollering at the top of her lungs "THANK YOU SILENCE!!!!" showing that her irony-ometer was as sharp as ever?

"Hooray For Boobies" by The Bloodhound Gang brings me out in hives as well. Just rubbish in every way. No sentient adult could possibly want that in their collection.

by Ten Years After, (but worthy of the mighty Tap)

For Girls Who Grow Plump in the Night

and Donovan - What's Bin Did and What's Bin Hid

Called his greatest hits album "The Berry Vest of Gilbert O'Sullivan" then just to make sure we had grasped it, put a photo of a vest with a picture of grapes on the front.

Oh my aching sides.

This made me recall a rather dreadful album with the title 'From The Tea-Rooms Of Mars To The Hell-Holes Of Uranus', by Landscape, which came out in 1980 approximately.
Surely a candidate?

Urban Hymns by The Verve.

Rule no.836 don't trumpet your everyperson/street cred. in band/song/album title.

"Oscillons from the anti-sun" by Stereolab
"Chameleon in the shadow of the night" by Peter Hamill

This has to be the winner... surely.

Devendra Barnhart's:

OH ME OH MY ... THE WAY THE DAY GOES BY THE SUN IS SETTING DOGS ARE DREAMING LOVESONGS OF THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

Really. Someone needs to take that boy by the beard and give him some lessons in punctuation. Surely that constitutes a fragment (no suggestions)?

Any album from a one hit wonder entitled Greatest Hits.

Always remember Charles Sharr Murray's review in NME being simply "Bum"

Ms Morisette put out the only album whose title made me think "You've got to be kidding me."

She put out an odds and ends cd/dvd set called "Feast on Scraps." It made me think she was saying to her fans "You all love me so much you will swallow anything I throw your way so here are the dregs." That presumed attitude realy annoyed me. She may as well have called the project "Eat my Shit"

Remember when he suddenly became American and released "Don't Get Weird on Me Baby"?

I bought the two Commotions albums and enjoyed both, but I couldn't get past the title of this one.

By the way, I'd really appreciate it if someone like Anal C*** did a "Listen Without Prejudice Volume II".

Nobody picking up on the fragrant Sinead O`Connors "She Who Dwells In The Secret Place Of The Most High Hall Abide Under The Shadow Of The Almighty" Bless Her