and does it matter?

I write technical documentation for a living so I suppose I'm a professional writer but I'm guessing that's not what you mean.

It's pretty well paid but ultimately rather worthless as most of my output ends up in user guides and contracts where (hopefully) it is never actually read.

Anything I write here is for pleasure as it's a great place to talk about stuff that really captures my interest.

write bits and pieces, did a few Daz ads, I... *s**t* you've rumbled me. very cunning!

I am actually Martin Amis.

and the reason I ended up here, in fact, is because someone told me that one of my books was mentioned on the podcast.

and I hope to be again, because I can't really do anything else.

I hadn't noticed any huge disparity in writing quality here - I wouldn't know who was professional and who wasn't. Never thought about it.
This is one of the few blogs I use because the writing is consistently good. I avoid most internet discussions because the level of spelling, grammar, etc is dire (quick spellcheck to see I haven't made any howlers while being pompous) but apart from that, 99% of discussions elsewhere develop into
death-threats around the fifth comment.

Anyway, better get back to resurrecting my "career."

prufeshenul riter and luv revueing on amazone. lol

...I share that feeling, Mac! I used to be a professional writer for newspapers/magazines (1994-2001) and then made the mistake - for reasons that seemed valid at the time - of taking a nondescript public sector job. Anything useful or interesting I've been fortunate enough to have been involved in over the past 10 years has had more to do with music/art/writing in spare time than what I do for a living - which has, frankly, been a colossal waste of time. But like you, I'm moving slowly but surely towards a new phase.

I do agree, though, that there's a lot of hugely engaging - funny, informed, wry, intelligent, etc - writing on this forum from all sorts of people, and I'm delighted the hierarchy is completely 'flat' and open to all. It's empowering and it's generally good fun. Only once did I get the impression a professional writer was being judgemental about non-professional writers on this forum. But it's so rare it's not worth getting into a row over.

...Georgette Heyer.

...Stephen King.

BOO!

Ha, gotcha!

Now I don't.
Not sure why...

that its fairly ridiculous to compare most of what goes on on this blog as "professional writing." Unless I missed something. sheesh

but then the chippy started using different wrapping.
I think there are people here who write for a living. There are also people here who should write for a living. It all adds to the mix. But I don't think it means anything in particular.
I admire some posts on here because they are exquisitely written, with real style and panache. Some I like because they brilliantly express complex arguments in a lucid and clear manner. And some I love because they are rambling, emotive streams of consciousness blurted out after a night spent on the pop.
If I see poor spelling and punctuation on signs in shops or in the official literature from a big company, it annoys me to an absurd degree. But on here? Nope. If someone is making an original point, expressing a sincere emotion, or making a silly gag, an apostrophe in the wrong place doesn't make their opinion any less valid or enjoyable.
It's a bit like the argument about how you can't truly appreciate music if you haven't played an instrument. Just because you can't spell for toffphey* (*joke) doesn't mean you can't start a fantastic thread. (I still reserve the right to gently poke fun if anyone makes a 'rude word' typo. I just c*nt help myself).

I've written reports that have advised product managers of the readiness for launch of new telephones AND have written user guides for manpower recruitment strategy software. I'd like to think this comes across in my selection of bon mots and witty remarks.

...not me I'm afraid.

Though there are plenty here I'm glad to say.

HEaR mE RoAR. mE WRiT gOoD iNNiT.

Bruce Dickinson.

I'm actually Julie Burchill & even though I've lost my looks I can still write, right guys?

I created, wrote, and distributed a short-lived series of science fiction fanzines back in the Eighties (when "science fiction" still generally meant books rather than films and TV shows), but these had a tiny print run of about 100 copies per issue, and were distributed free-of-charge at UK SF conventions in exchange for "the usual" (i.e. contribution, letter of comment, show of interest or editorial whim).

Other than that, as a Project Manager I write more than enough Business Cases, Project Briefs, Highlight Reports and so stultifyingly forth. It's writing, Jim, but not as you probably mean it.

Although I'm sure it is an aspiration for a good few amateurs here, myself included.
I agree that the quality of the written word is high amongst the Massive, which is what keeps me coming back - it sure isn't the (infrequent) stirring, bitching and whining.
I have a great deal of respect for anyone who writes for a living, I'm certain that it is hard work, and requires true commitment. I just wish I'd had a bit more foresight, maybe been better organised, and I might be doing it myself by now. All power to your PCs, typewriters, quills and wrists.

but I am sleeping with one

This is the only forum I visit as it meets all my needs blog-wise. When I lived in Madrid I was a features writer for InMadrid magazine. It didn't pay as many bills as teaching though. Now, as ( a very small) part of my job, I have to produce 5 newsletters a month, but it's kinda salesy and very samey. I'm also involved in editing a friend's magnum opus. I love the writing here for many reasons, most of which have been beautifully put in a post above by the good vibe power station that is Drakeygirl.
And while singling people out for praise is often counter-productive as others feel excluded, I'll happily take that risk and say that I would have no hesitation whatsoever in parting with my hard-earned cash to buy anything published by backwards7.

Yes sir, so good he posted twice. *blushes*

.make mine a triple...

And a lot of my stuff is broadcast on national radio.

Or to phrase it slightly differently.. I once had a bit published in FHM. I was paid £200. The subs made it readable. And Simon Mayo has read out some of my emails. Mark Radcliffe read out one as well. And so did Ken Bruce.

And I should probably mention that the thing in FHM was about wanking.

It's no secret. Unlike my tireless work for charity.

I could sell them on, and make more money than I've ever made from writing. Very few people (including me) earn nearly enough for a living wage these days, without supplementing it with non-writing jobs / the dole.

No man but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money.

And, of course, this blockhead had to use HTML 'blockquotes' to format that.

I'd absolutely die if I couldn't write.

Three years local news, 20 years newsstand mags, 11 years telly production... *sigh*

Instead of a bum.

..and would contribute more to this b. if only Jeeves would surrender that blasted mustard checked writing vest he seems to have spirited away to g. knows where.
I said to him yesterday, "Jeeves, do not treat me as a child," as he helped me on with my dinner j.
..and I meant it to sting!

I used to be a local newspaper reporter and sub-editor - probably the worst paid "career" in the country. Still, had fun with words...my favourite headline was:

Man in
death
plunge
riddle

I used to use it as frequently as possible - front page, right hand single column story, four deck headline - even if the actual story wasn't relevant. It just used to fit so neatly...and we had a car park in Lincoln from which people used to "plunge."

Now I write marketing/PR guff - stringing cliches together about "flexible solutions meeting customers' precise needs." Can think of worse ways to earn a living.

I write advertorials for a popular magazine. I guess that makes me a pro of sorts.

if "I am - It's no secret" sounded impossibly bloody pompous back there. I just meant, I've already mentioned in previous posts that's what I do.
Still doesn't pay the bills though, sadly.

Still do the odd bit of writing for the magazines I run, but I'm too busy editing them.

I love writing, which is why I keep my own blog and spend far too much time on here.

I've worked at it and dammit, I'm still no good at it.

No, I just post on here when something rattles my cage/wakes me up/when I have time/work (or life) is driving me mad.

Does that count?

I'm not convinced anyone could believe otherwise. They certainly wouldn't think I were a sub-editor if they could be arsed to look at all the typos that find their way into my blatherings.

I don't really care one way or another if the people who post in here are pros or not. They choose to write here because they like it, I suppose, and not because of the dangling carrot of publication.

And what could be nicer than that?

I wish I had tried harder at school, I wish I knew where commas are supposed to go, I am so greatful to speel checker and I wish I could do this for a living but as with many things in my life it's never gonna happen. This place gives me the opportunity to get a response which is one of my greatest wishes. I started a blog which was like shouting into an empty room, this blog among grown ups with their own minds and opinions who sometimes like what I wrote is a constant joy. I know in the last two years I've started too many threads but it is a drug I can't replace anywhere else.

I'm no professional. Plenty of professionals aren't very good though of course.

Here's some topical music.

The obvious mark of an professional writer is they get paid for their work.
Like a whore (of any determinate gender or derivitive thereof).
French or scuff, love?

I have written dozens, if not hundreds of design, technical and analytical documents during my working life (mostly relating to computer systems, policy, procedure etc.).

Here's the contradiction - I am extremely verbose in my speech, but at work am concise and occasionally pedantic in my written output.

However, when it comes to music, my focus goes out of the window. I start a topic, and then all sorts of side topics filter in.
My mind often works by analogy and makes jumps. My son is the same, he has Aspergers, (maybe I do too).

When I look at the result, I often think - can anyone else make sense of that. I may be under the mistaken impression that other readers will 'get' my allusions and references.

A pro writer would (Maggoty Lamb apart) ensure that his/her audience would get the point.

Oh dear, I'm rambling - again.

of an Indian restaurant for a local magazine. So, I may be a professional raita.

... thanks to your fine turn of jalfrezi.

Off your Naan?

You know, just a couple of Paratha-graphs.

...your reviews at night. Before my head hits the pilau.

This is actually starting to worry me.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Reardon%27s_Week

but I did not get paid. Does that make me an amateur writer or a gullible slut?

I did write a newsletter called Fresh Today in my student days. I must admit that more time was spent on puntastic headlines than the stories themselves. Like the time Clement Freud was competing against Fiona Richmond for the position of student rector at some Scottish university. You will have to ask an old person to explain the logic behind the headline: Chunky Clement Comes On Top Of Tasty Morsel. It took us hours to come up with that.

The new Triumph Bonneville T100 manual in Spanish I can only work with the material given to me. Please blame Triumph not the translator.

my step daughter is about to start a degree in journalism and has got her first (unpaid) contract to publish on a website. Anyone have any tips they could pass on in terms of other places that she might be able to get work published?

who will apparently no longer be posting here is Andrew Collins...

Realised my shortcomings, having achieved "Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 2,541,962 in Books".

Now employed, as per the last eight hundred years, as a computer nerd. A not very good one that doesn't know much about computers. Actually, like a less important version of Dilbert's pointy-haired manager.

I'm a novelist. In that I've had three published, a few years ago now. One of them ("Helium" - you'd like it!) got optioned for a movie, so I moved out to Hollywood and worked on the screenplay (insert barely credible but all-too-true Tinseltown anecdotes here).

I haven't done any other paying work since, and now I'm broke. I'm still writing, though but. Had a couple of near-misses, but - rubs pipe thoughtfully against nose - the book trade isn't what it was. Now it's run by MBAs in the marketing departments. I was lucky to have a Real Publisher, one of the last, who went by gut feeling and not an eye for immediate profit.

I gave a shameless plug for Helium in another thread. It's perfectly safe for you to buy it - I won't see any royalties. You can go some way to alleviating my financial distress by making a gratifyingly large international bank transfer to my account - details on request.

I'm just a stupid sort-of-teacher who talks too much and types much as he talks (i.e. too much). I've tried to write properly - am still trying to write - but right now am stuck around 50,000 words on the first really concerted effort at a novel I've yet tried, and can't motivate myself to continue because I'm certain it's fucking shite.

But I like posting here. You lot are decent, and mostly you don't tell me to shut up even when I richly deserve it. Ta.

the lady said can it, buddy!

...I'll fess up: I'm a professional writer, although as Stick (above) notes, it's almost impossible to make a living from writing. Until recently, I supplemented the writing with teaching in two highly rated universities but I guess everyone has heard about the cuts in HE - one contract is okay, while the other has been terminated and like Stick, I'm signing on (hence the other thread regarding having to sell a beautiful guitar). I'd agree with Burt, too - good publishers are essential but hard to find. Mine - American - still has fact checkers and proof readers. Many don't and mine has cut its rates to the bone recently and my latest - still being researched - is being paid at half what I got for the last book.

I'd guide you toward Amazon but I got paid a flat rate. I wouldn't give it up, though: the moment when I saw the first book on Amazon was utterly wonderful

Whaddya mean, Drakey - can't spell for toffphey? (Inserts smiley face...)

should be done online yearly, say Christmas with a big lead up and fanfare, and in the style of the person nominated by the group to dish them out that year. And rather like the name 'massive', as I understand done to be not 'cool' and exclusive, awards should have a 'blogger of the year' award that the winner is entitled to put as a signature on all their posts.

I say they're fun. Just don't do 'em in the name of the mag or by committee so as to avoid democratic debate and hard feelings.

... I have written bits of many, many guidebooks. In 2009/10 I finally got the chance to write the whole of a guidebook that was duly published last Oct and distributed via Waterstone's/Amazon etc. The publisher nearly went bust in autumn '10, I was scared I wouldn't get the last 50% of the flat fee (no royalties obviously) and now the publication is sitting at 247,733 on Amazon where it got two reviews from buyers. Choice quotes included, "This sad little book was not an asset on our holiday", "the literary style was tired and depressing" and "I'm afraid that I found this the least helpful guide I have ever bought..."

Two sales, yay!