Entertainment For Lively Minds
Pretentious Twat
Posted by woodface on 8 April 2011 - 10:46pm.
Did anybody hear that tosser on 'you and yours' the other day talking about chocolate? He kept pronouncing cocoa as 'co-cow', just fuck off.
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Missed that
who was it and when? Actually, I'd rather spend a night in jail than listen to You and Yours. Probably why I missed it.
I don't know who it was but
I don't know who it was but it was aired on Thursday, Winnifred Robinson hosted who I actually think is a really good interviewer.
Oh bother
I thought this was going to be a thread about Morrisey
Whereas I
was expecting it to be about Michael Stipe.
Didn't hear it
but was he pronouncing the cacao bean that is pronounced like that?
Pretentious Twat
TMFTL?
Was it cacao?
It's not the same thing as cocoa. One is a raw ingredient, the other a processed by-product.
I only caught the tail end
I only caught the tail end of the piece, you are probably right. When I look at a chocolate bar it always gives the % of coca/coco solids. I will concede ignorance on my part but it was his general smugness at each 'correct' pronunciation that riled. Obviously he was very sniffy about the chocolate that the vast majority of us eat.
Understandably, as 'traditional' mass-market chocolate in the UK
is terrible oily crap barely worthy of the name chocolate.
It's second only to the equivalent mass-market product in the US - Hershey's is one of the most unpleasant tastes I've ever experienced.
Stimps, You Cannot
...be talking about Galaxy here because Galaxy is delicious. I don't care if it is not verified test-tube certified "chocolate" as written down in ancient law but whatever it is it is DELICIOUS.
Galaxy...
where others taste 'silky smoothness', I just taste oleaginous sliminess. It's probably me :-)
Au contraire M Le Stimps
Once again we clasp each other sweatily to our heaving bosoms across the political divide. (proceeds to make long and incompehensible speech with lots of waving of hands)
What passes for chocolate in the UK is chocolate flavoured vegetable fat. In living memory this wasn't the case (and don't get me started on sausages). The reason things changed and it doesn't have to be marketed as 'genetically modified toxins grown in a vat by spotty chemists' is the protracted campaign by Cadbury's and others supported by MEPs and MPs they had bought and sold (mostly but not all of one political stripe) - the inevitable result of the success of the legislation was the arrival of asset stripping Yank corporations who can now sell their even worse shite.
I am HOPING it will have the same level of success as their attempt to sell us Budweiser and WWF - both exclusively consumed by under 12s :-)
The biggest campaign
that Cadburys has had to lobby MEPs for support with is in being allowed to call our stuff chocolate. Ours contains a much higher milk (expensive) to cocoa (cheap) ratio, which Johnny Foreigner objects to. All choccy contains veg fat or it would have the consistency of a dangleberry, or "dog chocolate" as an earlier post so wonderfully put it!
Cadbury is now owned by Kraft
Who have behaved very badly during the takeover. CEO Irene Rosenfeld sent minions to appear at the parliamentary enquiry into the takeover rather than attend herself. A company founded by Quakers is now run by purveyors of Cheese Whiz. Some aspects of modern life really are crap.
I know
I work at Cadbury Bournville! The government appeared just in the nick of too late, bless 'em
Can I just...
...say a quick "hello" to Mark from just over the other side of the A38. It really is a small world.
Hello back
'tis indeed a small world.
er, not quite.
"All choccy contains veg fat" is a chemical but economically modifiable truth.
What's at issue is surely whether or not those lipid molecules started life inside a cocoa bean.
The oleaginous muck that many of us find objectionable often has no connection with chocolate except in the formulae and balance sheets of the industrial chemists.
Good point
but not many people would be happy to carry the considerable extra cost of an increased veg fat to bean fat ratio. That higher end corner of the market is already covered by Black and Green, and such brands. Cadburys high street brands already carry a higher cost for using fresh milk instead of powdered, unlike all other competitors. Look at me defending my own firm! Do you think this constitutes a pay rise?
Sorry,
but British chocolate, no matter if it is a bastardised version, is nothing like Hershey's, your opinion of which I am in full agreement.
Hershey's
or dog chocolate, as it's referred to round our house.
Hershey's is disgusting, but...
... interestingly (or not) they make various Cadbury's products 'under license' which, while not quite the same as English Cadbury's, is much better than the Hershey branded stuff.
And they import UK made Creme Eggs for Easter.
"...but it was his general
"...but it was his general smugness at each 'correct' pronunciation that riled..."
Still not quite sure how using the correct pronunciation of a technical term equates to "smugness". The fact that there's a related word that's spelled a little similarly but pronounced differently is just a random happenstance.
It's a bit like complaining that a classical muso's so smug talking about his viol or viola (as opposed to his violin), ditto folky mandola players...
Not quite sure I follow your
Not quite sure I follow your logic, afterall it is just bloody chocolate and needs no twattery. Music is a more serious subject so I would expect some pedantry & precision.
Didn't hear the article but
Didn't hear the article but if it was a journalistic piece about chocolate (which does have a technical terminology all of its own - someone does have to process and manufacture the stuff out of raw materials) I don't see it as pretentious to use the correct terminology for the stuff you are talking about. If he was talking about cacao (pronounced kak-aow) rather than cocoa (pronounced co-co) where's the harm in calling it by it's proper name. In fact, as a talking head "expert" wouldn't he be expected to? To pronounce "cacao" like "cocoa" would simply be incorrect.
Just had a listen...
Yup, when he's talking about cacao he says cacao and when he's talking about cocoa he says cocoa.
Interesting article - particularly when it gets into the effectiveness of the fairtrade movement.
As it happens I browsed round the choccy festival stalls outside the RFH on the way home from work on Friday last - there were some amazing artisan choccies being sold and offered for sampling. Yum!
How come
you get five up arrows yet I was three minutes earlier saying exactly the same thing and have none?
Come on Massive, fair play please.
I'm starting to suspect...
...that there are a handful of people who think they'll get a discount on their next subscription if they up the staff. ;-)
Anyway, upped, if only because I'd noticed the same as you, Jim, and thought it was a bit rum.
Fraser is dog chocolate
to Jimmyshoes Galaxy
Up arrow that, you quisling fucks*
*a bastardised Chris Morris quote about Brasseye that I like to slip into conversation when I can. Its harder than you'd think
** oh and btw, tis a joke (sort of)
*** that also may be a joke
Hello!
You called?
Away back tae Highgate...
...ya wee intellectual radio producer bastid ;-)
Pretentiousness on Radio 4, who'd a thunk it?
*Goes back...
... to ironing his cravats*
Is anyone..
..watching The Review Show?
Would that be
Nestlés chocolate by any chance? Or Nessells as some people insist on calling it.
Pretentious, moi?
I'm fairly sure
that the Milky Bar adverts in the 70s finished with the sung refrain Nessells Milky Bar. There's a whole generation of us out there who were misled by the advertising. I think it was when they took over Rowntrees that they started to pronounce it Nestles.
Indeed it did.
T'will always be 'Nessells' chez Waring.
See also 'Nuggett' rather than the frankly wrong 'Noo-gah'.
Same in the Axekeith household
Nessles as that is what they told us in the 60's and 70's.
A friend mine worked for years
at the Nestles factory in Trowbridge. He's very broad Wiltshire. Nestlay? I don't think so.
Pretentious? Have a listen to the drawlings of Tim Wonnacott on Bargain Hunt. They're hilarious
It was strictly "Ness-lay" at their Croydon HQ by the mid-'80s
or, as we who were summoned to go there preferred to call it, "Barad-dûr".
Milky Bar was never the same since they changed the specs...
I liked the round ones (getting coat)
I think this stuff is the dog's
Best experienced in small pieces, allowed to melt in the mouth, the pinnacle is:
Or for slightly more enthusiastically bacchanalian consumption:
For my money, these are about the best chocolate you can easily find in the shops. I'm sure there are a myriad alternatives of equal delight, but the fact that I can get the 90% in the 'metro' 200 yards from the office helps me get through the more mind-numbingly crushing afternoons of dread I have to endure to keep my client happy.
"bacchanalian consumption"
TMFTL ??
Now I'm confused again -
are cacao and cocoa the same thing or not? Do Lindt make one bar that's 90% one and another that's 99% the other? Which is chocolate? Can't both be if cocoa and cacao are different, Shirley? Are neither chocolate? Is anything chocolate?
If they are the same then the OP was right - using the French pronunciation of cocoa = pretentious twattery.
*manges un Caramac*
Confusion
From raw cacao comes and cocoa powder, chocolate liquor and cocoa butter. Chocolate can be made from any combination of the above, plus other ingredients. Most of the confusion comes from the fact that the terms "cocoa" and "cacao" have historically often been used to describe the same thing - the 99% bar above, for instance, is made almost entirely from chocolate liquor, which is also called cocoa liquor and cacao mass. But in modern cuisine, thankfully, the split is generally clear: cacao refers to cacao nibs, which you'll find at the chocolatey centre of the bean, while cocoa refers to the processed powder.
I suspect I've just confused things further.
In this case...
the confusion probably comes from the fact that the 99% bar is entirely labelled in French where the word "cacao" means... you guessed it... "cocoa" - so it's actually saying that it's a 99% cocoa chocolate.
Just imagine how confusing this whole thread would be if it was on the website for French magazine "Le Mot"
Hersheys may be crap
but have you tasted their bread for Christsake and their butter too for that matter. Also their bacon without any meat on it - so disgusting they pour maple syrup all over it to make it taste good. They do have fantastic steak though.
Hersheys do all that?
Who knew?
They'd be better off specialising. But not in chocolate, as their version is the only foodstuff in the world that tastes of vomit.
So, whatcha think about
their beer?
Hersheys' beer, that is.
OK I'll bite
American beer made locally or regionally is WONDERFUL. Really genuinely excellent and having just got back from New York I can re-confirm this. American beer produced by America corporations is shocking and sadly thats the shite that easist to buy (same over here I freely admit).
American beer produced under license in the UK by American corporations licensing a brand and recipe to European uber-brewers is unforgivably shocking - I have Bud in mind but they also wrecked Rolling Rock - almost as bad as the Newcastle Brown being produced by herberts down south
Yeah, I know
I just couldn't find the link from bad chocolate to bad bacon to the bad way it is consumed (with maple syrup, probably bad) and extrapolated bad beer. It seemed a bit like playing Mornington Crescent with american food.
As far as I can tell, the phrase 'brewed under license in the UK
means, "bottles were filled from an enormous vat of generic lager-flavoured beverage then the licensed label stuck on". They never seem to have any connection to the original beer and, to this tongue, they all taste the same. Even UK Budweiser tastes differently to the US original*
The bad name that US beer has in Britain is, as far as I can tell, more down to the UK brewers than the original brewer.
*Yes yes, I know US Bud isn't 'original', that's not my point :-)
I respectfully disagree.
I respectfully disagree. kind of.
Even here, Bud/Miller are generic beers that you get when quality is not a concern (I will admit to a tendency for MGD when it's time).
If you're actually wanting to taste a beer. With taste 'n stuff, then local is usually the way to go. Do bear in mind that 'local' is an elastic concept. I think of Yuengling as local, although it comes from Pa, several hundred miles away.
Herrrshhhey
Funny how the name is rather onomatopoeic for what you feel like doing while leaning over the toilet bowl after eating it
chocolate and irony
... chocolate and irony...
Aldi
has wonderful chocolate at very decent prices.
Aldi is a wonderland of
Aldi is a wonderland of cheap good food, the check out girls are comically fast also.
In their professional checking -out -of -food capacity
I presume? For the removal of ambiguity? :-)
Well I did say 'comically'
Well I did say 'comically' as opposed to 'criminally'. They are very quick scanners.
Oh yes
The 70% stuff, with Sour Cherry and Chilli.
*Drools*
On the subject of wider
On the subject of wider twattery, the way Bahrain is being pronounced by certain BBC grandees is also starting to grate.
Yes
Similar to how Angela Rippon used to pronounce Guerilla in that humorous way, so that we didn't get confused and think that it was actually Gorillas that were making the news.
It had the opposite effect than that intended. If she had just pronounced it the normal way I for one would not have had the image in my head of Gorillas mounting coups in various African and South American countries during the 1970s.
Come to think of it, we don't really get Gorillas any more do we? It's always terrorists these days.
Unless you count
Gorillaz
Agreed
You'll also find the twattish way of pronouncing Qatar ('gutter') will spread as the world cup approaches.
My Wife...
... says kakau for cocoa (she's a pretentious German).
So does mine...
... she's Hungarian. Not sure she'd be happy about the "pretentious" bit, though. ;)
Top 5 chocolate bars or other chocolate confectionary
1. Kit Kat
2. Crunchie
3. Peppermint Cream
4. Yorkie (remember, it's not for girls!)
5. Galaxy Minstrels
The mere thought that you might be serious
has rendered my typing fingers stationery.
Compliment Slip Fingers...
TMFTL etc
Where's Five Centres
when you need him?
I'm here!
Gone, but not forgotten.
Caramac
The dogs bollocks - in a nice way.
So THAT'S why dogs are so keen on licking their bollocks