wasn't a very good title. Or maybe it was genius. Thin line between stupid and clever etc...

My People Were Fair and Had Sky in Their Hair... But Now They're Content to Wear Stars on Their Brows

Led Zeppelin 4 was supposed to be called

"Intensities In Ten Cities". I've often thought some of our senior touring rockers could put out an album called "Incontinence In Continents".
If you're just looking for the worst title ever that's probably The Wonder Stuff's compilation "If The Beatles Had Read Hunter.."

weren't all that were it?

Really?

No thanks

Nice try, Mr Dick.

Horrible cover, too.

In at number 75 and then...

may I refer you to pretty much anything by the those Canterbury based japesters, Caravan?
For Girls Who Grow Plump in the Night or If I Could Do It All Over Again I'd Do It All Over You. Genius

If you know that Foxbat was the NATO reporting name for the Soviet MiG-25 interceptor, the album title doesn't look that daft.

Who could forget:

When the pawn hits the conflicts he thinks like a king
What he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight
And he'll win the whole thing 'fore he enters the ring
There's no body to batter when your mind is your might
So when you go solo, you hold your own hand
And remember that depth is the greatest of heights
And if you know where you stand, then you know where to land
And if you fall it won't matter, cause you'll know that you're right

Such a catchy title

Shittin' Heck!

Think about it - it would ruin your Christmas.

'What have you bought me for Christmas, Mam?'

'Oh, you'll love it! I saw it and thought of you straight away...'

Either way, you'd be fucked.

Kevin Ayers - Yes We Have No Mañanas - So Get Your Mañanas Today

Caravan - For Girls Who Grow Plump In The Night

When the Chieftains' harpist released a solo album, he somehow thought "I normally play with the Chieftains. How do I describe my solo venture honestly?" And came up with this:

...without the mighty Sparklehorse and one of my very favourite records ever ever ever, "Vivadixiesubmarinetransmissionplot".

What's going on here? Can you be "Live" in an inabsolute way? It's like: "Where did you record your first album, Mr Manzerek?" "Oh, absolutely in the studio".

What snack would you like after that blinding take of "Peace Frog", Mr Densmore? "Absolutely Mars Bar, if you would."

"Wasn't "Live" alone good enough for you, croony leather-kekked cockpoet Jim Morrison?" "I absolutely prefer my first choice, thank you"

The only thing I know to be absolutely true is that it was absolutely edited together in the studio from scores of performances, and that many tracks contained bits from ten our more different concerts. It was absolutely NOWT!

Absolutely shite, maybe...

.... have terribly unwieldy titles :

Win's : Uh! Tears Baby! (A Trash Icon)

... and then there's China Crisis's first album (deep breath now) : Difficult Shapes & Passive Rhythms, Some People Think It's Fun to Entertain

CC's next effort was equally lengthy but less impenetrable : Working with Fire and Steel - Possible Pop Songs Volume Two

Good old Bromley had his own attempt of 'I'll take 27 vowels and 44 consonants please Carol' with No.1 Outside - the Ritual Art-Murder of Baby Grace Blue: A non-linear Gothic Drama Hyper-Cycle. Catchy!

BR
FT

without mentioning the non-ironic Ironic hitmaker:

Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie (1998)
Under Rug Swept (2002)
Flavors of Entanglement(2008)

are all prime products of preposterous pretension...

Tales From Topographic Oceans never quite did it for me

that the cocaine budget is too high when something like this happens.

In 1991 it was to be the third Transvision Vamp album, but I think the UK branch of MCA refused to release it and it only appeared in Australia and a few other places.

I heard Wendy James explain the title once. It still didn't make any sense.

Transvision Vamp - Little Magnets Versus the Bubble of Babble

dodgy titles:

Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy was probably where the rot set in musically as well.

produced an album entitled "Ooo Crikey, It's Lawnmower Deth"

George Michael 'Listen Without Prejudice, Volume 1'.

Utter rubbish. At the time, most of them lived in London.

Surely most of them live in the UK.

True at the time I suppose. RIP PK.

They must be a bit cramped and inconvenienced at the moment, as the Paget Rooms are currently being renovated.

Sorry guys, but I think that, excellently preposterous as many of these suggestions are, they can't compare with the side-splittingly hilarious attempt at profundity that is the late-period-when-nobody-really-cared-about-them-any-more Simply Red opus: Love and the Russian Winter.

It has to be "Standing on the Shoulder of Giants", by Oasis. How many people throughout the process from conception to release, chose their moments carefully to tactfully explain that the Isaac Newton quote was "Standing on the Shoulders of Giants" (shoulders plural) only to hear the belligerent Liam say "Yeah, I know but I want to say Shoulder not Shoulders", probably drawing a rudimentary sketch of a really tall giant and explaining that you could only stand on one shoulder at a time, at which point Noel might diplomatically chip in suggesting that maybe some of the band could stand on either shoulder, thereby making Shoulders plural more appropriate, only for Liam to dig his heels in even more...and so on 'til the record company eventually accept that they're getting nowhere with this moron. "He'll have to explain it in interviews anyway".

"Listen Without Prejudice Vol.1"

Still not waiting for Volume 2

King Crimson - Lark's Tongue in Aspic
The Coral - Nightfreak And The Sons Of Becker
Devendra Banhart - Oh Me Oh My... The Way The Day Goes By The Sun Is Setting Dogs Are Dreaming Lovesongs Of The Christmas Spirit
Ocean Colour Scene - A Hyperactive Workout For The Flying Squad
Belle & Sebastian - Fold Your Hands Child, You Walk Like A Peasant
Kinski - Be Gentle With The Warm Turtle
A Silver Mt Zion - He Has Left Us Alone But Shafts of Light Sometimes Grace the Corners of Our Rooms
A Silver Mt Zion - This Is Our Punk-Rock, Thee Rusted Satellites Gather + Sing

What a load of old wibble.

Gift From A Flower To A Garden. Of its time.

Haysee Fantayzee - Battle Hymns For Children Singing. What does that MEAN exactly?

Snuffsaidbutgorblimeyguvstonemeifhedidntthrowawobblerchachachachachachachachachachachayouregoinghomeinacosmicambience

followed by Flibiddydibbiddydob

OU812 Just rubbish.
For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge. Do you see what they did there? Do you? Look again, it's pretty subtle.

I picture David St Hubbins and Nigel Tufnel muttering to themselves "It's all getting a bit Van Halen round here isn't it?"

Us?

i) The 5000 Spirits or the Layers of the Onion
ii) Liquid Acrobats as Regards the Air

Hippies!

I'm afraid.

If you think about it, Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars is somewhat, um, weak. Sounding vaguely like some Theatre In Education rendering of a road safety homily, with Ziggy, the unfortunate protagonist, head full of nonsense about "playing guitar", run over by those ever threatening Spiders From Mars, who lurk behind every parked car, blind corner and amber light

Vigil in a Wilderness of Mirrors by Fish

but This is the "Script for a jester's tear" of the Hip Hop Generation.
Reachin' (A New Refutation of Time and Space)-Digable Planets, ain't far off either

Guetta Blaster.

It is rather good, however. In my opinion, of course.

Far Canal by progsters Jody Grind.

It sounds like a Two Ronnies line, but it's a tremendous album with some incredible guitar playing (and a rubbish cover).

Far Canal appeared on the predominantly folk-based Transatlantic label in 1970.

Not really known for this sort of thing, Transatlantic dipped their toe in the prog waters with bands such as Stray, Skin Alley, Marsupilami and Jody Grind. Sales were not overwhelming.

Nice use of Meccano in the pre-computer graphics era, there.

Is a great album, and a great title. It certainly beats the pants of the US version called "King Biscuit Flower Hour Presents: Deep Purple in Concert". Purple managed some good (read bad) titles going back to "Come Taste The Band" and forward to "Purpendicular".

But unless someone else has already said so, the Most Preposterous Album Title is;

"When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks Like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He'll Win the Whole Thing 'Fore He Enters the Ring There's No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You'll Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won't Matter, Cuz You Know That You're Right"

Thank you mewling songstress Fiona Apple.

Muse Sick-n-Hour Mess Age (shouldn't a pun have two meanings?)

The Boy Bands Have Won, and All the Copyists and the Tribute Bands and the TV Talent Show Producers Have Won, If We Allow Our Culture to Be Shaped by Mimicry, Whether from Lack of Ideas or From Exaggerated Respect. You Should Never Try to Freeze Culture. What You Can Do Is Recycle That Culture. Take Your Older Brother's Hand-Me-Down Jacket and Re-Style It, Re-Fashion It to the Point Where It Becomes Your Own. But Don't Just Regurgitate Creative History, or Hold Art and Music and Literature as Fixed, Untouchable and Kept Under Glass. The People Who Try to 'Guard' Any Particular Form of Music Are, Like the Copyists and Manufactured Bands, Doing It the Worst Disservice, Because the Only Thing That You Can Do to Music That Will Damage It Is Not Change It, Not Make It Your Own. Because Then It Dies, Then It's Over, Then It's Done, and the Boy Bands Have Won

Joe Walsh's "The Smoker You Drink The Player You Get".

Bought it. Played it twice. Seem to remember it's got one decent song on it. Rocky Mountain Way?

Urban Hymns.

Where to begin with that album title...

I'll start...

I once heard of a young Buddhist novice who was finally granted an audience with a great Zen master.

Ascending the mountain to the master's cave, the novice sat at the GZM's feet and sought counsel.

The GZM, being a bit of a soft rock fan on the quiet (appropriately enough) asked the novice:
"My son - what is 'The Sound of Bread'?"

The novice, is, I understand, still meditating on this in a cave, thirty years later...

Had their fair share of interesting titles. Two favourites are "Crumbling The Antiseptic Beauty" and "Let The Snakes Crinkle Their Heads To Death".

And two modestly titled compilations "Absolute Classic Masterpieces" and "Absolute Classic Masterpieces Volume 2" would be preposterous were they not true.

debut "Annals of the Lenten Rose" and unreleased follow-up "The Fatal Foetal Embrace Of the Tawdry Aubergine" take some beating. As does keyboardist's Nick Nobb Dwyer's solo album "Each to Those Whose Beginning Never Ends".

Nick, incidentally, was a former pupil of my own Alma Mater, St Crud's, the renowned boy's school in Lower Cotton Gusset, set in the rolling hills of Norfolk.

The Games Master, Reggie Gossage-Mayhew, encouraged Nick with many a long session in his rooms at the school where he encouraged Nick to express himself.

http://images.45cat.com/dave-dee-dozy-beaky-mick-and-tich-loos-of-englan...

Seriously. Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich.

Not a bad album, but not entirely grabbed by the title.

Anoraknophobia

It was a bootleg released very shortly after a massive (cold war) story about a Russian Foxbat being lost at sea (the Baltic?) when it fell off an aircraft carrier much to the worlds derision so it could have been a bit tongue in cheek.

...but "Swing when you're winning".

...exultantly (over-)heralds a rather average live offering.

'Mellon Collie & The Infinite Sadness', and 'Teargarden by Kaleidyscope'.

Crayzee names, crayzee guy!

We'll Buy You a New One, Mrs McNulty

Ups and props for anyone who gets the reference.

One of the best titles is "Don't Bore Us, Get to the Chorus" by Roxette.

Horrific band, mind.

I was thrilled to discover yesterday that there is a band, Skullflower, who are quite willing to promote an album called...

Fucked on a Pile of Corpses.

Marvellous stuff.

That tracklisting in full:

1 Hanged Man's Seed
2 Viper's Fang
3 Defiling Their Temples With Bestial Lust
4 Anubis Station
5 Fairy Knife Hell
6 Tantrik Ass Rape
7 Sleipnir

They've been going 25 years apparently; well done, chaps.

Kapt. Kopter and the Fabulous Twirly Birds. Also features the worst ever pseudonym (step forward Noel Redding). Hey man, it was the seventies...

...the maddest one I have ever heard is Gary Jules' Number-One-Hit-Including 'Trading Snake Oil For Wolf Tickets'.

Eh?

but I like them
- Abandoned Shopping Trolley Hotline - Gomez
- Bachelor No.2 (or The Last Remains Of The Dodo) - Aimee Mann (she has some other pearlers too)
- Machiavelli and the Four Seasons - TISM (Australia's HMHB)
- Shaved and Dangerous - Baby Animals (hoping to see them in a couple of weeks at the Annandale if anyone's around inner west Sydney)
- Taking Tiger Mountain (By Strategy) - Eno

....and the most preposterous of all, The Very Best of 'insert bozo of choice....Robbie Williams for mine.