Entertainment For Lively Minds
Podcast: details of our holiday schedule here
Posted by The Word on 9 April 2009 - 7:25am.
We present a special holiday version of the podcast. Our skeleton staff, David Hepworth and Fraser Lewry, read your mail and discourse on: hair metal, the things that men are *really* thinking about, things people should lighten up about and when a DJ is not really a DJ. You can subscribe here or stream the latest one below.
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I bowl too
Also all men leap up and tap an overhanging leaf or a piece of awning
backwards7
Shouldn't the Word Magazine be offering backwards7 a job?
Oi' tink he'd knock you back, mind.
Enjoyed the 'cast, fellas
The Word Podcast - making Tube journeys more bearable since 2007.
I'm no psychoanalyst, but I think it says something about David and Fraser that even in your wildest sporting fantasies where potential ability is infinite, David is a moderately proficient medium-fast bowler and Fraser takes corners. Where's the Warne spin or the 100mph rocket? Where's the 35-yard Gazza-esque free-kick (apologies for use of the suffix 'esque' there) or final minute World Cup winning goal?
Mind you, in my head I'm often playing keyboards (or Wurlitzer, or Hammond or whatever it is) on Belle and Sebastian's Lazy Line Painter Jane. Perhaps, as men, we feel that if our fantasties don't aim too high, they're more likely to come true?
My medium pace bowling
I never said I wasn't really good, though. Ponting finds me unplayable.
Fair enough
and I'm sure Fraser takes the best corners this side of Beckham, but they're not the most glamorous of sporting endeavours are they?
I think you've hit on something here...
...that says something profound about the limitations of male sporting fantasies. I couldn't imagine myself as an all out pace bowler because I'm nowhere near tall enough. Therefore I tailor a fantasy to my own obvious limitations. Likewise Fraser presumably doesn't imagine himself leaping salmon-like to meet the cross. Instead he sees himself as the doughty provider of perfectly flighted, goalkeeper bamboozling balls which are then unarguably despatched by some lanky Crouch figure.
Not quite
I think of my corner-taking fantasy as a technique-improving exercise, as if I'm continually refining something that might actually come in useful one day.
And, it being fantasy, occasionally I do rise, salmon-like, to meet my own crosses.
I've perfected a new bowling technique
I seem to be able to bowl quite fast off of a very short run up. Usually this is at Australians who only need two runs to win with six wickets remaining. Leaving one of them stranded at the other end on 199 not out, I skittle the team out in one over.
There's normally at least one caught and bowled in the over and just occasionally (when I'm having an off day) there is a run out for the last but one wicket.
You should see the not out batsman's face as he sees his ashes winning double century crumble before his eyes!
Here Come The Aussies
Leaving an Australian on 199 not out? You do realise that even if you get him out for a duck in the next match, he will still have an average four times greater than any Englishman, living or dead? (Or in the case of Geoffrey Boycott or Chris Tavare - whilst at the wicket - living AND dead)
I have to say I enjoyed the podcast, particularly because of the confirmation of the men and their 24 hr. a day sports fantasies. I am not mentally deficient! I also have started thinking about the claim that all bands ending in 'er' are crap. Have not managed to fully disprove this yet, although I do have a soft spot for Cracker.
Anyway I'm off to 'lighten up' classes.
A HORA
The Paul Carrack story reminded me of a George Jones story. Apparently, when George was a bit too refreshed, somebody would inform the audience that George would be unable to perform since he had just heard that his mother was ill and he was, at that very moment, heading for her hospital bedside. The audience would then be asked to observe a minutes silence, refunds would be available at the box office. Nobody, of course, would be heartless enough to do so.
The effectiveness of reverse psychology
I once did an interview with Dan Baird of the Georgia Satellites on radio here in Adelaide, and every time I asked him about his music he would dismiss the question and claim that his band were just derivative, endlessly ripping off Chuck Berry (he was pretty accurate in that assessment), and wouldn't it be better to talk about real songwriters like Steve Kilbey (of The Church), and Neil Finn. His self-effacing approach saw his latest album, in the lead-up to their tour, played much more often than it would have been otherwise.
Similarly, a colleague of mine on the same station, had an on-air chat with Jeff Duff (Duffo - does anyone remember him?) and said that he actually broke down and cried because he was so overcome someone would give him airtime and actually owned some of his recordings. Jeff Duff music is now still regularly played by my friend because he was 'moved' by Duffo's 'humility'.
Good on Paul Carrack, it was a lovely gesture, and I'm sure his complaint was legitimate, but he must have realised we are all suckers for a bit of human frailty in our idols.
I remember Jeff Duff
The clip on youtube isn't much good (B&W and live) but his song "Easy Street" (released with the band Kush) is the campest thing ever recorded, bar none.
Thats' a big claim but if the mid 80's Boy George heard it he'd say "Wooo! Tone it down dearie!" Aztec Music released the Kush album "Snow White and the Eight Straights" on cd a few months back and that has Easy Street on it. That song at least is fantastic.
As I listened to David and Fraser
I couldn't help but think of this
from Berke Breathed's Bloom County.
Australian Rules Football
has always been perfect fantasy fodder: who wouldn't want to imagine themselves doing this:
I watched but you must have edited this clip...
I am sure my weekly claim to mark of the round has been repeatedly cut from this clip. You remember? Round 1? Where I soared over the pack and, in the middle of a double aerial somersault, plucked the ball from the waiting hands of the opposition ruckman and in the same mid-air motion performed a type of scissor kick and slotted it through the big white ones from 60 metres out whilst on an impossible angle? And what about Round 2? I step laddered into the air on the backs of two stunned defenders before pushing off into the stratosphere, one handed and Cazaly like, grabbing the pill cleanly in one hand, demolishing the pack on landing but keeping my feet. I swivel to my left, and though wrong-footed, bend the ball back over my shoulder and again put the boys into the lead. And Round 3...?
The Sgt Pepper Recordings
In the light of Little Stephen recounting how amazing the Sgt Pepper masters sounded, I'd be interested in the Word massive discussing the notion that recordings, at best, only capture about 20% of the greatness of what's going on.
A few year's ago, I was sitting down on a plane and into the row in front of me went Eddi Reader. I own none of her records, just happened to recognise her. As she put her bags in the overheard compartment she was singing to herself, and from those few seconds of her singing 1 foot away, I was aware that I was listening to a remarkable voice. She sounded stunning. So, why has that never registered with me when I have heard her voice on the radio, etc?