Entertainment For Lively Minds
Overlooked classic lines of dialogue
Posted by LOUDspeaker on 27 March 2009 - 1:17pm.
Kevin Smith's Clerks.
Dante, to Randal: "So, what's your encore? Do you like, anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?"
So, so many people who've just f**ked me over I've wanted to say this to.
Anymore that no one else seems to have picked up on but have a real resonance with you?
- More from LOUDspeaker.
- Login or register to post comments
-
Night Moves
AKA "The Greatest Forgotten Film of the 1970s".
Gene Hackman is watching a football game on TV. His wife comes in.
Wife: Who's winning?
Hackman: Nobody. One team's just losing slower than the other.
Night moves
What a great film that was. As you say Archie, now forgotten. Although thinking back, wasn't it an 80's film?
Nope
Class of '75.
Gene Hackman
What an actor he was. Head and shoulders above most of his peers at the time. Not just overlooked, but underrated. In fact that whole era, the older I get the better the films seem. Before Star Wars came along and made every film's goal to become an event...
The Wire quoted this
Series 4. Carceti says it to his wife. I had no idea what he was on about. At best I thought it was a comment on politics.
Night Moves
Great to hear of others who love this incredible film. It is also the source of this classic phrase:
When dicussing Eric Rohmer film, Hackman says, "I saw a Rohmer film once. It was kind of like watching paint dry."
Even better is that it was scripted by a Brit, Alan Sharp.
Cutter's Way
Alex Cutter: "I don't drink. You know, the routine grind drives me to drink. Tragedy, I take straight"
Try the source novel "Cutter and Bone". Newton Thornburg. His other books too. Ellroy with soul.
Like Night Moves, Cutter's Way is about those who see the skull beneath the skin of the American dream, but who are forever in thrall to a hopeless hope. That one time. That one chance. To make it real. Make it big. Make it mean something.
Like Night Moves - woefully under-rated, incomprehensibly overlooked
Falls off chair
Night Moves was the *source* of that expression?
What a great fact to learn on a Monday evening. Thanks.
(on edit: are you absolutely sure it originated here? I can't find anything to say so in the interweb)
I remember it well
It certainly stood out as a smart line when I first saw the film (as did the character admiring the teen Melanie Griffiths' still-burgeoning curves and saying "There ought to be a law", followed by Hackman's retort, "There is").
I've heard it a lot since, but never heard it before then. I always assumed it was, like much of the dialogue, an attempt to be none more Chandler in style while remaining original and contemporary.
Bad Santa
I could probably fill the blog with lines from Bad Santa, but this'll do for now:
Marcus (to Willie): You are by far the dumbest, most pathetic piece of maggot eatin' shit that has every slid from a human being's hairy ass.
David Dimbleby on 'Question Time' 26 March:
Eric Pickles (C) says that he needs and claims for a second house because he lives 37 miles from Parliament and he did try commuting for a month but it was too tough. People need to understand the House runs like clockwork and he absolutely has to be there, on time, sometimes as early as 09:30h.
Dimbleby: "So, it's just like a real job, then?"
(And in the background: howls of derision from the audience...)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/question_time/7967561.stm
That was absolutely classic
The looks on the other members of the panel's faces was absolutely brilliant too.
Way to shoot yourself in the foot and get hit by the ricochet right up the backside...
Monkey
Some sports movie with the very talented Keanu Reeves in it, the owner of the team looks on their latest attempt at a win;
"I've seen monkey shite fights in the zoo that were better organised than this!"
classic
Jack Dee
Not actually a line of dialogue, but the hand written section during Lead Balloon where the following is put forward is an absolute cracker:
"If you are what you eat, you must eat fat bastards".
Brilliant.
Burgess Meredith
Grumpy Old Men. As Walter Matthau goes over to Ann Margaret's house, Burgess quips to Jack Lemmon:
"Looks like he's taking old one eye to the optometrist".
Lovely.
Or...
"Taking the pink-skin boat to Tunatown"
Body Heat
Kathleen Turner to William Hurt
'You're not too smart, are you. I like that in a man.'
-Always had a certain resonance for me. Can't imagine why.
Great John Barry theme, too.
Oh Kathleen
I can hear her voice saying that too. I'm not sure if that's a good thing at work on a Friday afternoon....
Catch-22
Colonel Cathcart: You're a disgrace. I'd like to know how you got to be a Captain, anyway.
Yossarian: You promoted me.
Colonel Cathcart: That has got nothing to do with it.
and
Yossarian: He was very old.
Luciana: But he was a boy.
Yossarian: Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
The Three Friends
We raped the horses and rode away on the women-
Three Amigos
Amigos Amigos Amigos
"It's a sweater!"
From Seinfeld
"Just when I think you're the shallowest person I've ever met, you manage to drain a little more out of the pool"
The Sopranos.....
Bit bawdy but genuinely quick fire wit from good ole Paulie Walnuts...
Paulie "Sil, do you remember your first blow job?"
Silvio "Sure"
Paulie "How long did it take for the guy to come?"
Genuinely quick fire wit?
It *was* scripted you know :-)
It's in the delivery....
you get the picture.....!
Blazing Saddles
[Bart returns unexpectedly after being sentenced to death]
Charlie: They said you was hung.
Bart: And they was right!
"Where the white women at?"
Cleavon Little as Bart - Blazing Saddles.
“I’ve always had a deep mistrust of cows”
“I come away with a sexy girl from a boutique and what do I end up with? Sherpa bloody Tenzing. She does exercises first thing in the morning.”
Etc. etc.
Anyone planning a “cut-price” “mini-break” in the country this weekend? Think again.
From the same film
Bob meets Terry sitting fishing alone on a pier.
Terry is drinking from a can of McEwans, of which there are several at his feet.
Terry to Bob: "I'd offer you one but I've only got the six"
Wonderful. It still makes me grin every time.
From "Office Space"
Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: I wouldn't say I've been *missing* it, Bob.
The Last Seduction
Bridget: "Are you still a lawyer?"
Lawyer: "Are you still a self-serving bitch?"
Alec Guinness - it's all in the delivery
I often quote random Alec Guinness lines to myself, in what I like to think is a rather good impression. I suppose you have to know the context for these quotes, but read them in your best Alec Guinness - it'll be fun:
"I understand you have room to let?" (said with a dark, toothy smile in "The Ladykillers".)
"You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy." (Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars).
"My west window has all the exuberance of Chaucer without, happily, any of the more concomitant crudities of his period." (Canon D'Ascoyne in "Kind Hearts and Coronets".
Kind Hearts And Coronets
That is my favourite line from one of my favourite films. I picked it up on a Daily Mail DVD for 30p in a charity shop recently, bargains don't come better than that.
Local Hero
Townsman: Are you sure there are two l's in dollar, Gideon?
Gideon: Yes! An' there are two g's in bugger off!
Tom Baker in Doctor Who
"What's the point of being grown up if you can't be childish now and then?"
And:
"Let's hope that many hands will make the lights work."
As Whistler said, I wish I had said that.
(You will, you will).
I will speak for the low-brow
Eastenders:
(breakfast time at the Queen Vic Den and Pat are having a heated discussion)
Pat - "do I LOOK like an idiot?"
Den - "No of course not (walking away, under breath) more like a whale in a nightie"
Coronation Street
The Ogdens have a rare romantic dinner. Hilda surprises Stan with a long, passionate kiss.
Stan - (stunned and then starts to quizzically lick lips) - "What is that taste?"
Hilda - "Woman, Stanley...Woman!"
Cheers
Loads of great lines from Norm.
First one that springs to mind is -
Norm walks into the bar at opening time.
Sam "Beer, Norm?"
Norm "A little early, Sam"
Sam "A little early, Norm?"
Norm "A little early for stupid questions, Sam".
More Cheers
Okay, it's my favourite sitcom ever, so a few more from Norm.
1. "What's up, Norm?"
"My nipples, Sam. It's freezing out there."
2. "How's it going, Mr Peterson?"
"It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm wearing milk bone underwear".
3. "What's shaking, Norm"
"All four cheeks and a couple of chins".
4. "What'll you have, Normie?"
"I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap".
"Looks like beer , Norm".
"Call me Mister Lucky".
5. "What you up to, Norm?"
"My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall".
And possibly the best one ever -
"Women! Can't live with them...pass the beer nuts".
Cheers again
One of my favourite lines from Carla. She comes to the bar in an especially fertile mood one day, and says:
"I cannot let any man touch me, talk to me, or see me, or I'll be shooting out kids like a Pez dispenser."
Cheers again, Carla again...
... not great lines as such, but there's an episode where she's left to run the bar by herself for the evening "as long as you don't start mixing your special cocktails."
Of course she does, with hilarious results, but it's the names of the cocktails themselves that make me laugh every time: "Leap Into An Open Grave" and "I Know My Redeemer Liveth."
Hazel Motes
As played by Brad Dourif in the as-yet-unreleased-on-DVD 1979 movie directed by John Huston, Wise Blood.
“Where you're from weren't never there. Where you're going doesn't matter. And where you are ain't no good unless you can get away from it.”
and
“No man with a good car needs to be justified!”
Yeah, Jesus Built My Hot Rod.
The Princess Bride
Many favourites in our house, but these appear regularly:
"That word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
"Never get involved in a land war in Asia."
"Is this a kissing book?"
and of course, whenever the situation calls for an imaginary sword to be drawn:
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!"
The full script is here: http://scripts.popbang.co.uk/p/princess_bride/index.php
I'm assuming that Withnail and I is just too popular to qualify for this thread...
Inconceivable!
Mawwaige, mawwaige...
Two More...
MASH,
Hawkeye to Major Frank Burns...
*Frank, you are ten of the most boring people I know".
Magic... this one has been recycled several times by me.
Burn After Reading,
(and if you have not seen it, please rent it out soon)
CIA Head Honcho "Well we wont do that again.. whatever it was we did"
See the film!!!
God I loathe Kevin Smith.
Sorry, but that quote sums him up - smug and unnecessary wordiness loaded with "Gen X" affectation and look-at-me faux world-weariness. He ripped his whole schtick off Richard Linklater too.
Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons does the whole fat, bearded, sarcastic objectionable geek act so much better, anyway.
"Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix"
But...
I wouldn't cross the road to see a Kevin Smith film - but while looking for the Jon Peters memoir "outline" (as mentioned in the podcast before last) I came across this. And whatever his shortcomings as a director (he just points his camera at people talking), I'd still book him as an after-dinner speaker:
Mad Men
" Every generation thinks the next one will be the end of it all"
or
Fuck,fuck,fuck, fuuuuccck, fuck,oh fuck, fuucck,fuck,fuck,fuck ...
Season 1 of The Wire
The Wire
This thread is seeking overlooked dialogue. The Fuck scene from The Wire has to be one of the most discussed scenes of recent years.
Jack Nicholson in The Departed:
Frank Costello: How's your mother?
Man in Bar: Oh... I'm afraid she's on her way out.
Frank Costello: We all are, act accordingly.
Jack's pretty hammy in the fillum, but I remember that dialogue fondly.
Heaven's above
You say Jack Nicholson was pretty hammy? I find that so hard to believe.
Peter Cook in Bedazzled
Playing the part of the Devil:
There was a time when I used to get lots of ideas... I thought up the Seven Deadly Sins in one afternoon. The only thing I've come up with recently is advertising.
that's brilliant
Bedazzled part 2
"You're a nutcase!"
"That's what they said about Jesus and Galileo"
"They said it about a lot of nutcases too"
Surely time
For a lengthy Word feature on Peter Cook. For no other reason than he was a genius, pure and simple. Not much to do with music I know, but even so...
Ian Hislop was on Parkinson (I think) talking about Peter Cook
To paraphrase:
"I had lunch with Peter Cook and lunch with Peter Cook doesn't actually involve any food".
A great Cook story
Prince Charles was a fan of Peter Cook and sent him a gushing letter inviting him for dinner on a certain date in a few months' time. Cook responded "Unfortunately I find that I am watching television that evening".
From Raising Arizona
(from memory)
Baby stealer: got any funny shaped balloons?
Shopkeeper: not unless round's funny
Benny Hill
Benny is in a courtyard and Rita Webb (not the best looking woman you ever clapped your eyes on) is leaning out of a window shouting at him.
RITA: We're all brothers and sisters under the skin.
BENNY: Well get back inside and send your sister out.
RITA: I've never been so insulted!
BENNY: You must of been!
The Simpsons
Mr Burns is, in my humble opinion, one of the greatest comic creations of all time, but I've often recycled one of his lines in particular. Burns and Smithers are standing outside Moe's bar while Homer and his pals make merry inside.
Mr Burns: "Listen, Smithers. The laughter of the damned."
I also like the Reverend letting his dog go to toilet on Homer's lawn: "Go on now, go and do your dirty sinful business."
Nitpicking
The dog's on Flanders' lawn.
Homer and Flanders' first meeting
Ned:"The handle's Flanders, but my friends call me Ned."
Homer: "Hello, Flanders"
Favorite Homer quote:
"Hmm, they've got the Internet on computers now."
Lose more slowly...
Paraphrases dialogue from the great film noir Build My Gallows High (aka Out of the Past). Robert Mitchum suggests that the femme fatale is playing roulette badly:
"there's a way to win?"
"there's a way to lose more slowly."
Full of great lines that film.
Hood to waitress:
"tell me something"
"you don't look as though I could"
Curb Your Enthusiasm...
...Larry has deeply offended his host at a pool party by inexplicably letting slip a comment about the size of his host's young son's penis.
Later, Larry's wife pleads with him "Larry, WHY did you do that ?"
With a shrug, Larry responds: "...I took a risk".
Frasier
The earlier series of Frasier regularly came up with some great lines. One of my favourite episodes was the one where Frasier had been asked to write a jingle for his radio show, and he became obsessed with a grandiose vision which encompassed a choir, orchestra and spoken dramatic voice. Noticing that things seemed to be getting a little out of hand, Frasier's brother, Niles, speaks up...
Niles: Haven't you heard of less is more?
Frasier: Well, if less is more, think how much more more will be!
default answer to this would be BROADCAST NEWS.
hugely critically well recieved, pretty popular at the box office, seven oscar nominations..pretty much forgotten now. AMAZING dialogue and script. including
tv news exec paul moore: it must be nice to always believe you know better, to always think that you're the smartest person in the room.
tv news exec jane craig: no... it's *awful*.
among a million others.
Creep
I saw a pretty crap Brit horror film called Creep the other day. In one scene a bloke gets his dick out in front of a girl on the train and asks her what she thinks. Her reaction:
"It's like a penis. Only smaller."
Made me chuckle.
Jackie Brown
Jackie Brown too had its moments:
Ordell: Goddamn girl, you gettin' high already? It's just 2 o'clock!
Melanie: It's that late?
Ordell: You know you smoke too much of that shit, that shit gonna rob you of your own ambition.
Melanie: Not if your ambition is to get high and watch TV.
Louis: Seems I can't smoke all that now without coughing.
Melanie: Coughing's good! It opens up the capillaries. You know, when you cough you're pulling in air, or in this case - smoke, into parts of the lungs that don't normally get used.
Cheers
Frasier: Afternoon, all.
Woody: Hey, how's it going, Dr. Crane?
Frasier: Oh, the usual. The crying, the tantrums, the bed-wetting.
Woody: Yeah, that's fatherhood.
Frasier: No, that's my therapy group. What a buncha losers.
Beer, Norm?
"It's a bit early, isn't it?"
"For a beer?"
"No, for a stupid question like that one"
Not From A Film BUT..
Sitting in a Bar in Downtown Aberdeen many years ago I noticed a rather fetching young Lady come up to me mate Doss and say hello.
"Who she" sez I
Doss Sez " Forget her, she's been cocked more times than Davy Crockets gun".
Still love that one.
The new Reggie Perrin
New series works if you don't know the original.
But a great (if obvious) line from Jimmy after an unsuccessful liaison with Reggies' mother.
"bit of a cock-up on the cock-up front".
The Castle - A classic
Darryl Kerrigan: Now here back: all landfill. Not allowed to build there.
Council Officer: Has the soil been tested?
Darryl Kerrigan: Oh yeah, nothing too serious in there... what do you know about lead?
Dale Kerrigan: Dad reckons fishing is 10% brains and 95% muscle, the rest is just good luck.
Dale vists Wayne in prison: -
Wayne Kerrigan: How's Mum?
Dale Kerrigan: Good.
Wayne Kerrigan: How's Dad?
Dale Kerrigan: Good.
Wayne Kerrigan: How's Trace?
Dale Kerrigan: Good.
Wayne Kerrigan: How are you?
Dale Kerrigan: Good.
Wayne Kerrigan: How's Steve?
Dale Kerrigan: He's all right.
Wayne Kerrigan: Good.
Dale Kerrigan: [voice-over] We could just chat for hours.
"Tell 'im 'e's dreamen'..."
I always think the mark of a classic line of dialogue is when you find it cropping up in your everyday speech.
That's Going Straight to The Pool Room
became a cliché with my brothers (American) friends in Colorado, for some curious reason !
Gregory's Girl has many but I especially like
"Off you go you small boys!"
"If I don't see you through the week, I'll see you through a windae!"
"In the future they'll be no more men or women, just people."
"No men or women?"
"Aye, a world full of wankers."
(as nicked in Trainspotting)
and the best of all
"How's the lamb?"
"It's veal."
"Veal? Do you know how they make veal? They take the wee baby calf, hing it upside doon, slit its throat and let all the blood drip out. That's really interesting isn't it?"
Gregory to a potential suitor for his quite young sister
"Go away, act your age, destroy a phone box"
My favourite line in the film though makes no sense out of context. "The bastard must think he's invisible"
Talking of great Australian films - Kenny
Kenny supplies portaloos and is not afraid to get hands-on if someone drops, say, a wedding ring down one.
As he is driving around, he says to camera(something like)
"People say to me - why do you want to wallow in shit all day? Well, you see, that's just ignorant! Because about... (pauses to work it out) eighty-five per cent of it is actually water"
Love and Death
Post Coital Scene
Glamorous Woman: "my god you were magnificent"
Woody Allen: "Yes I know, I practiced a lot on my own"
Hud
So many good lines but I love the delivery of Hud(Paul Newman)'s comeback to his father: -
Homer Bannon: You don't care about people Hud. You don't give a damn about 'em. Oh, you got all that charm goin' for ya. And it makes the youngsters want to be like ya. That's the shame of it because you don't value anything. You don't respect nothing. You keep no check on your appetites at all. You live just for yourself. And that makes you not fit to live with.
Hud Bannon: My momma used to love me, but she died.
Brilliant lines with Alma (Patricia Neal) too,
Deleted
Deleted by Pinmonkey