Just the fireworks would be fine.
(They could even dispense with the games.)
Yours, in Scrooge,

Seb Coe must be shitting himself..it's pretty damn spectacular.

There's a lot to be said for communism and public displays ( not counting Show Trials).

I can't find the clip, but The Simpsons nailed one aspect of opening ceremonies when Lisa and co sang the song "Children are our future" at Springfield's Olympic bid ceremony:

Students: Children, children,
Future, future.
Milhouse: Are you ready for the...
Students: ...children, whoa whoa whoa!
Lisa: The future is a...
Students: ...coming, hey hey hey!
Children, children,
Future, future
...
Students: Children, children,
Children are the future!
Kids!

Unsurprisingly, China have gone the whole hog with the "lots of people running around to form a symbolic shape" cliche, with no undertones whatsoever of automatons, brainwashing, etc.

I've got the horrible feeling that London will go down the whole "urban", "street" theme, so that it's "relevant". Like a mass version of that moment when Prince William tried to teach his father how to throw a gangsta pose. Shudder.

Watching 5 minutes of the opening ceremony will probably be the highlight of the whole shebang for me. Isn't the whole of the Olympics a waste of time and money?
Well, clearly not for others - for those who like this sort of thing this is the sort of thing they'll like. For the rest of us a few minutes of spectacle will serve as compensation for weeks of coverage of people running when they're not being chased, lifting or throwing things which don't need to be moved and jumping over objects which would be easier to walk around instead.
When's the beach volleyball on?

And the synchronised tai chi was well cool. And how the hell did they roll up the floor screen to get that sphere out from under what tomorrow will be the javelin-chucking pitch?

I think at that point Seb Coe made an excuse and left.

....and I'm not really interested in the opening ceremony but I'll be spending as much time as I possibly can watching the Olympics. Especially track and field and the swimming.

...they are a massive money spinner for the Games in terms of both television audiences (and hence advertising revenue) and ticket sales.

In one of my earlier lives, I worked on the Manchester Commonwealth Games back in 2002 and the ticket prices (both individual and corporate) for the opening and closing ceremonies were significantly higher than those for any of the 'boring' sports events taking place in the same stadium. Even then, they could have been sold many, many times over. The only tickets that came close in terms of price (or demand) were those for the swimming, where the capacity of the pool was tiny (and Ian Thorpe was one of the major draws of the '02 games).

Similarly the viewing figures for the Ceremonies will be significantly higher than those for the vast majority of any of the sports (major athletics finals notwithstanding).

Add to that the desire for the host nation/city to 'market' itself to the world in the most breathtaking, over the top way and to outdo the efforts of the previous host, and you have your answer.

...of the Olympics to provide the maximum number of nights at 5-star hotels, the maximum number of Champagne banquets, and the largest possible expenses cheques, for the members of the IOC gravy train?

Come on that was a fantastic event, staged with a fair degree of skill and joy.

And Archie is RIGHT in four years time, a damp summer afternoon in stratford, with whoever has won the most recent UKs got talent comp..singing a crap song written by elton!

I know the easy thing is to have a go, but i say,I say well done china OC.

it worked for me.

It was an amazing spectacle. It was the only part of the games that I will turn the tv on for.
The London one will be fine - Boris Johnson at the helm - what could possibly go wrong. Off to a flyer with the logo, aren't we?

The host nation. It's a bloody disgrace they even got the chance to bid.

Trouble is, I can't think of a nation that should have had the right to bid.

I thought it was a fantastic spectacle, and I usually hate these events.

And I think I have just the man to choreograph the 2012 opening without it turning into some kind of Pop Idol-influenced fiasco: Terry Gilliam.

You're worrying about nothing.
The Olympics have been held in Australia twice in vastly different eras (1956 and 2000.) They have only two things in common. In the run-up both were widely considered to be disasters in the making, "They'll take them away from us" and both turned out to be smashing successes. London will be no different.

It's like the different stages of grief people go through, denial etc.

First there's
Joy "We won the games"
Doubt "I don't think we can do this"
Anger "What a waste of money"
Fear "We're going to look like clowns"
Pride "I knew we could do it. I knew all along"
Relief "Thank f#$% that's over."
Bewilderment "Now what?"

Probably a few I've forgotten. The trick is not to go through all the stages at once.

As for your opening ceremony just choreograph something to a medley of Beatles songs. You'll groan and think "How obvious" but others will love it.

You've got the frigging BEATLES to fall back on! What are you worried about?

With today's spectacular, the risk assessment will run to 3 million pages.

...they provide such a wonderful opportunity to catch up on the big heap of yet-unwatched DVD box-sets beside the TV. Ooh look! People running, jumping and standing still. Yawn.

There's someone's face... partially hidden behind a gun... she's concentrating very, very hard... there's a target... oh! she got near the bullseyezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Someone wake me up when it's over...

They take the attitude that London can't compete and seem to be building up a campaign for the opening ceremony to include the combination of a routemaster bus and Chas & Dave.