Entertainment For Lively Minds
One drink, one drug, one deviance
Posted by Dave Amitri on 31 March 2011 - 9:33pm.
With apologies to Bodhisattva for my blatant plagiarism but let's get down to the nitty gritty. Me? Shandy Bass, a couple of Paracetamol and socks off sex is my idea of a big night. What about you?
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Errr...
Espresso
Double espresso
Triple espresso
Brazilian,
Colombian,
and American.
But what I'm referring to I'll leave to your imagination...
1. Gin
2. Zopiclone sleeping tablets
3. After 1 and 2 above, I've never really noticed
Zopiclone sleeping tablets
They are a bit moreish arent they ?
For a temporay fix, fine, but getting on for 10 years ?
cant get by without them now.
Available over the counter, without prescription, in wonderful Goa.
Mmmmmmmmmm, drowsy.
but they leave a nasty metallic after-taste
Mogadon (Nitrazepam), anyone? Perhaps rather old-skool these days.
1. Magners Irish Cider 2.
1. Magners Irish Cider
2. Epilim (out of necessity)
3. Writing the word 'fuck' in a poem is about as deviant as I get.
socks off sex is counted as a 'deviance' is it?
Jesus...y'live and learn.
You don't know...
...where Amitri generally deploys his socks.
you've just put
that scene from the start of the first American Pie movie in my head. I hope you're happy, young man, I hope you're happy...(it'll take me ages to fast forward to the Shannon Elizabeth bit...)
A Scottish Trio
1. Irn Bru
2. Tunnocks Tea Cake
3. Sex with Tunnocks Tea Cake.
Might be safer to describe it as sex INCORPORTING tea cake rather than WITH tea cake which suggests something much more deviant altogether.
It's normally just sparkling mineral water
but if you push me on the drinks front, I'll have a pint of Fentiman's Shandy (barely alcoholic).
Drugs: antihistimines please. Actually, I should probably go with my asthma inhaler.
Deviance: Hmmmm. As someone said to me last week, "You don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do?"
*fans self*
;-)
*Perks up like a meercat*
*faints*
Pray tell!!
I have a colourful imagination so it might be an idea you tell us otherwise all sorts of images will come into my mind.
*blushes*
I've gone all shy now.
Feel free to imagine away, it'll be FAR more interesting than what I really get up to in my spare time.
Does it involve
semolina?
Don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do....
....this wasn't Adam Ant you were talking to was it ?
ahhhh....
I thought he looked familiar. The warpaint and military jacket should have given it away.
I refuse to participate in this thread.
On the grounds that people won't ever want to speak to me again.
Please be assured that pork pies aren't involved at any point, though.
OK. I'll go with Beck's lager. But beyond that.. Omerta.
Go wild, it's Friday
I'll plump for:
- red wine
- more red wine (I don't smoke or take them bad drugs; alcohol's my drug of choice)
- um... really? I'm not particularly deviant, but y'know, probably what everyone else is thinking for the third one.
Today's vices
1. Stowford Press Cider
2. Some codeine
3. Tom Waits' Rain Dogs at exceptional volume listened to in the nude
Memories Are (Not) Made Of This
My anti-list. I never want to do this again.
1.Half a gallon of scrumpy.
2.Half a tab of acid.
3.A laughing goth/hippy chick who smelt of patchouli in flowerbed in the garden of a house in Camden. OK, not very deviant. Although somebody laughing constantly did make it seem a little...wrong. Maybe that was the scrumpy.
I was 16, it was 1985, Pulp should rename their song Do You Not Want To Remember The First Time. Took me nearly 2 years to work up the courage to do it again.
Your story
is just begging to be reprinted in a tabloid under the heading, "Scrumpy Pumpy"
scrumpy Pumpy
TMFTL
cocoa
Cocodamol and coprophilia
Aguardiente.
Acid.
Anal fisting.
And.
Alliteration.
Apparently.
Whatever.
We
Wisely
Want
Watersports
with
Waccy Baccy
Weducing
Warients
Wy
Won.
The Word
A drink, a drug, a deviance.
Easy
1. Special Brew
2. Smack
3. Ultra violence.
Who's coming to see Jools on Tuesday now?
My 3
1 ):- Zopiclone
2 ):- Infrequent/ occasional bouts of raging thirst for Guinness & Whisky. (Might this be the onset of diptheria ?)
This last one may upset some viewers, but it is the truth.
3) :- An ex of mine asked if she could put a vibrator up my arse, I said words to the effect of "Why the devil not" & away she went.
On many occasions.
I rather quite liked it.
WHOOOOOOAAAAAAAA THERE, NELLY!
*scrubs inside of eyes and brain with lye and a stiff brush*
I would
have thought that "jack the biscuit" alone would have covered two of these in one go. Three if you'd popped a zoplicone on the biscuit first.
OK.
1. Port & brandy (if you're going to have only one, it might as well be a lethal one. And a tremendous hangover cure, folks).
2. Marijuana muffins (two naughty treats in one).
3. A new one! Getting turned on by the thought of a retired sailor having a vibrator stuck up his arse.
Drakeygirl
You will do for me !! Mwaah X
I am a one man Motley Crue....
... so after injecting Jack Daniels generally I can be found suspended in my dungeon with my two girls and one cup... But only after Question Time.
Only after question time
I thought that went without saying, one wouldnt want to appear strange.
QT generally gets me...
... excited!
Go on, admit it Bob ....
You are just ever so slightly curious arent you?
It's not the act itself.
It's that you wrote about it on here. I'm genuinely not a prude at all - y'know, knock yerself out, I've no objection. I was just gobsmacked at your, erm... yeah, I'm going with "openness".
I'd have thought
if you "knock yourself out," you're probably taking it a bit too far...
"openness"
Fnarr!
Exotic, huh?
Guinness
Red wine
Red AND Brown Sauce on bacon / sausage / breakfast buns...
Monumentally square
I am a lump of naivete
Drink: Red wine
Drug: The stuff they give you to soothe earache provided me with my best high ever. I was 7. I had earache.
Deviance: I'm strictly Roll On Roll Off. One girlfriend, a Scot, offered me a 'Diddy Ride' when we first slept together. I had absolutely no idea what she meant so ignored her and carried on. Realisation dawned some days later whilst walking along Mitcham Lane with her one Saturday afternoon. 'Oh! You wanted me to shag your tits!' We didn't last.
Roll On Roll Off
You wouldn't be any relation to Mr Ferry, by any chance?
Has to be
1. Real ale. Preferably strong dark bitter
2. Occasionally taking Zapain for back pain. NOT to be mixed with 1.
3. Group sex. But only if the group was The Bangles. Spice Girls if I was less fussy.
any excuse...
Anyone else think that One Deviance
sounds like a niche Simon Cowell produced boy-band? No? Just me then.
Anyway...
Drink: Red Wine
Drug: Caffeine (preferably in the form of very strong, very milky coffee)
Deviance: [CENSORED FOR REASONS OF TASTE AND DECENCY]
Is the thing you've censored
"getting your washing machine mended?"
Joe, Joe, Joe...
a lady doesn't [CENSORED] and tell.
I'm assuming it was Fraser who did the censoring there.
How rude.
I'd like to make it clear that Fraser has *never* [CENSORED] me.
How rude.
I'd like to make it clear that Fraser has *never* [CENSORED] me.
How rude.
I'd like to make it clear that Fraser has *never* [CENSORED] me.
But you might have had
a threesome.
Statement
I'd also like to make it clear that I have *never* [CENSORED] Gauntlet.
On the basis that unlike
many of the rest of you I am not operating under a pseudonym I couldn't possibly say except that it was delicious and just a little deviant.
The girls mum wouldn't have been amused.
If i have enough drinks at the next mingle it might well be coaxed out of me but for now..
Are people being coy
or am I really the hard drinking, drug addled, pervert that these replies make me feel like.....
or all of that could have affected my humour detector
Drug addled pervert.
I wasnt being coy, nor am i a pervert.
just honest.
As for drug addled, apart from hash cake twice, I have never taken any non prescribed drug.
Acoy there sailor
Coat? Yes it's mine
threes
1) can take it or leave it
2) never really bothered with it
3) can't get enough of it