Entertainment For Lively Minds
Music magazine photo captions
This has been rattling round my head for a long time. I used to work in magazine production, long enough ago to have been involved in the last knockings of the old Fleet Street, and always enjoyed the company of the sub editors. A thankless and difficult task which explains the generally high level of eccentricity among them. This gives me special pleasure to nifty headlines and captions when reading music mags.
In no order - ones which have stayed in my head - not sure if they are Q or Mojo
B/W picture of very stylish 60's style woman singer sitting in elegant chair next to a small table on which there is a coffee jug and a small cup - caption "Where the FUCK are my biscuits"
U2 live - caption "Imaginary Friend not pictured (obviously)"
Not sure if it was a caption or short news item - described Kraftwerk as cycling between gigs in Europe "in a bogglesome blur of lycrahosen"
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my favourite
from student days, a review of then current star trek movie:
'Rapt in Klingon film' - *gets his coat*
Incidentally, I'm aware that Messrs Ellen and Hepworth are of the opinion that a magazine is nothing without good/proper pic captions.
My favourites:
SMASH HITS: "Jon Bon Jovi models a pair of spewgusting crimson perv-breeks"
and
NME: "The horrors of masturbation laid bare in An American Werewolf In London."
From the NME, under a picture of Winona after a haircut.
Shorn Ryder.
"Get back behind the velvet rope, ladies"
Almost a clichė, but still makes me chuckle. Invariably appended to a photo of a less than Clooney-esque tunesmith (Usually Mr V. Morrison).
can i get to widnes? nme re:
can i get to widnes? nme re: spike island was a good un.
I like a funny caption
but someone tell the people at Shortlist to rein it in. It's gratuitous, trying to hard, and very often not funny.
NME
under a picture of Stephen Mallinder - Don't call me a cab.
well I laughed
Caps
There are a few more examples here:
http://www.wordmagazine.co.uk/content/captions-fantastic
Ta - will peruse that thread
Notice it also has a relatively small number of posts which implies I have rather recherche tastes
Memories
It's a topic that needs to be repeated as classic captions suddenly pop up in our memories. And I still need confirmation about the picture showing George Michael writing in the sand.
Moderately interesting caption story
I used to have fun doing captions on NME. Once, in a 'Heroes' issue, we got Franz Ferdinand to interview Morrissey. I captioned a pic of Alex and Moz sitting in classic interviewer/interviewee pose (there may have been a Dictaphone on Alex's knee), with
Alex: "So, then, are you a Nazi?"
Moz: "Right, that's it"
The mag was contacted by Morrissey's "people" to assure us that the above exchange never took place. Which shows that a) He reads all his press, right down to the captions; b) Despite 30 years of reading NME, he still hasn't quite got its sense of humour.
Picture of Tilda Swinton and George Clooney kissing,
from the film Michael Clayton:
"I can't wait to tell the girls that I pulled the guy from the Nespresso ads."
Was this a shot from "off set"?
I watched it a couple of weeks ago & I'm pretty sure they didn't kiss.
SPOILERS!
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Since she had his mate killed; his car blown up; and Clayton then stitched her up like a kipper at the end, it would've been unlikely.