Entertainment For Lively Minds
Mundane answers to the questions pop songs ask....
Posted by shane pacey on 1 July 2011 - 12:55am.
Am I blue?
No..you're flesh coloured, with a slight grey tinge
Are You Ready To Rock?
No, I'm having a cup of tea just now,
Are Friends "Electric"?
No, well except my mate Geoff, who touched a live circuit with his screwdriver last month..laugh?
Is She Really Going Out With Him?
No, they stay indoors mostly..in bed.
Do You Feel Like We Do.
I don't know..do you have a slight headache and sciatica?
etc
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Why are people grudgeful?
Because we've been standing at bus shelters in "high spirits" shouting gibberish at the traffic for the last 30 years and no-one's calling us geniuses. 50,000 Fall fans can be wrong!
Have You Ever Been In Love?
Yes, a few times. Not at the moment, though.
Do you See What I See?
Depends, what are you looking at?
Life On Mars?
Evidence of some bacteria, but no sign of the little green guys.
Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?
No, so turn off that Maroon 5 track so I don't have to.
Where Is My Mind?
Between my ears, same as always.
Why Don't We Do It In The Road?
Health and safety issues, mainly.
D'You Know What I Mean?
Not a f**king clue Liam, but I'm guessing you don't either.
who makes the nazis?
fleet street?
palitoy?
what do i get?
no love
no sleep at night
nothing that's nice
nothing a-tall a-tall a-tall a-tall
i'm deeply sorry
Does anybody really know what time it is?
yes me..about 5 and twenty to 7
Can I get a Witness?
Why, what have you done?
Will It go Round in Circles?
Well, it really depends on the centre of gravity.
Do you want to know a secret?
Well, it wouldn't be a secret anymore if you told me.
Do Ya?
..occasionally, but never on Sundays.
Who are you?
Patrick Crowther.
Do you know the way to San José?
I'd take the I-5 if I were you.
But if I were you...
...I wouldn't start out from here.
How can a poor man stand such times and live?
By getting help and support from an extensive, fully functioning social benefit system.
Have You Seen Her?
Not recently, nope.
How can you live in the North East?
Buy a house in Newcastle
Do you wanna dance?
Not now, I'm at work.
Where is Love?
..touring in Idaho with what's left of the Beach Boys.
Hello. Is it me you're looking for?
No Lionel. Now bugger off and leave me alone.
Q. Can your pussy do the dog?
A. I'm allergic to cats.
What's inside a girl?
Sugar and spice and all things nice.
What becomes of the broken hearted?
Occasionally they jump off bridges.
Did Ye Get Healed?
No, the shoe shop was shut.
Have I told you lately that I love you?
No Van - and frankly I find the thought of it repellant.
How Does It Feel?
Standard sensory faculties, as far as I can tell.
How soon is now ?
Then.
Is you is or is you ain't my baby ?
I is ain't...eh, wait...ain't I isn't..eh, no.
Who says a funk band can't play rock ?
You need to read The Rockist Articles Of Faith, that will clear things up for you.
Why can't I touch it ?
'Cause I will call the cops if you do.
Who am I ? What's my name ?
Well it used to be Snoop Doggy Dogg, but you hip hop guys keep changing your names so I'm not sure anymore.
What is Hip?
well, it's an area of the body located around the pelvis...
If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
No. I'd move it swiftly to an alternative location.
What You Gonna Do?
I'm going to make a couple of phone calls then go home.
Can We Still Be Friends?.....
..Yes, as long as I don't have to give you any money.
Wouldn't it be Nice?
For you perhaps..the very thought of "it" fills me with deep revulsion.
Do you wanna be in my gang?
Well Gazza its like this .........
Do You Want To Touch me?
Not even with a scrubbing brush and a bucket of lysol.
What Time Is Love?
Wednesday night, according to the Conchords...
What'd I Say?
...Hmmm? Sorry, Ray, I wasn't listening just there...
Who put the bomp
In the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?
It's well-nigh impossible to say without a reliable first-hand account and at least one corroborating witness.
Who Knows Where the Time goes?
You just log on to the Word Blog for a few minutes.....
Is Your Love in Vain?
Yes, if you still think David Cassidy is going to marry you.
Will you Love Me Tomorrow?
Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps.
Could it Be Magic?
If it's a rabbit coming out of a hat, probably.
When Will I, Will I Be Famous?'
....sorry lads, you've had your 15 minutes...
How can we be lovers if we can't be friends....
.. about 6 pints of low fizz shandy can address this...
How long?
That's rather personal, if you don't mind me saying.
Does your chewing gum lose its flavour on
the bedpost overnight?
It largely depends on how much sugar and flavour has been displaced as a result of the initial chewing and prior to the gum's adherence to one of the 4 corner supports of your bed.
what do you get when you kiss a girl?
A throatful of puke, once.
You must have a
very long tongue
Whats So Funny
About Peace, Love & Understanding?
Nothing
Why Does It Always Rain On Me?
Because You Live In Scotland
Why?
I don't know why Annie Lennox, it's your bloody song.
Could It Be Magic?
Cup ball. Ball cup. Cup, ball. Ball, cup. A canniball and his mate catch and cook a clown. He says to his chum: "Is it only me, or does this taste funny to you too"? Cup ball, ball cup, cup, ball, ball, cup. Man walks into a bar. He screamed. It was an iron bar. Ball cup etc etc etc
spoon jar
jar spoon
Could It Be Magic?
Cup ball. Ball cup. Cup, ball. Ball, cup. A canniball and his mate catch and cook a clown. He says to his chum: "Is it only me, or does this taste funny to you too"? Cup ball, ball cup, cup, ball, ball, cup. Man walks into a bar. He screamed. It was an iron bar. Ball cup etc etc etc
Will You..?
Will I what?
Finish the bloody question, woman.
Who Are You?
I'm me.
Have You Heard The News?
Don't you want me baby?
..it's not you it's me...
Why can't we be friends?
..because you plonked my missus.
Isn't she lovely?..
Well, Stevie..it's like this.
Actually...
Fair enough...
..but surely in Stevie's case it's "Is She Lovely?"
Are you ready to rock?
No, but I'm planning to hang around long enough to witness some subduction.
Do you feel like we do?
No. I'm 13 and I live in Aberdeen.
What becomes of the broken hearted?
Cremation or burial.
Have I The Right...?
Not in this right-wing khazi we call a country you don't.
Didn't We?
I don't know, I was as pissed as you, love.
Have You Heard?
Not since that last Iron Maiden gig.