"Nothing can possibly go wrong."

It never does.

...Only The Depth Varies.

Has the answer:

' Remember, trying is the first step on the road to failure'

It's a shit business; I'm glad I'm out of it...

It's always a mistake to attribute someone's actions to malice until you've ruled out stupidity.

for a game of toy soldiers

Love, peace and buttercup syrup.

If you have those 3 you cannot go wrong.

To get on in life you need skill, determination and knowledge of the game

...on anyone getting what they deserve.

"Have a good time, all the time"

and

"Be excellent to each other"

including moderation.

..... With your socks on.

... but the second mouse gets the cheese.

laid their troubles on a table you'd soon take yours back.

insight or serenity when they come along and savour them.

but there is a 'me'.

R. Keys.

Didn't get it.

"The fuck did I do?"

dealt it

There's an old thing that James Joyce observed, though it's probably not original to him ..

there are only two kinds of statue in the world, one that says (eg with arms folded looking down imperiously) "How do I get down from here?", and the other (with hand upraised) "In my day the shit was this high."

Very therapeutic, I often find.

So start living.

stop digging.

Keep going!

Possibly a dangerous comment round these parts but it's one that so far has paid off.

apologise.

"Trust no one"

and equally

"I want to believe".

A wise man, old Spooky...

"Keep Buggering On."

Professional only means you get paid for it

And my own mantra

Less work, more money

another dollar.

Things that try to look like things often do look more like things than things.
-Granny Weatherwax-

to drink bad wine

Keep on keeping on.

...every sandwich - Warren Zevon. Or, try again, fail again, fail better -.Samuel Beckett

Don't get bitter, get better!

and don't you eat that yellow snow

- Frank Zappa

also:

Remember, there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.

may be an oncoming train

another one slams shut.

I use that one at work sometimes should things go occasionally awry.

It's an Eddie Clockerty line from Tutti Frutti. Now and again someone of a similar age as me will prick their ears up.

But normally it goes unremarked.

why did he make them out of food?

... you're the statue and some days you're the pigeon.

... don't sh*t on people on your way up - you never know who you're going to meet on the way down.

(anon)

'f*ck the armbands, jump straight in'

Walk a mile in their shoes. That way if it turns out they were right you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes

'Do it yourself!' is a reply not a motto!

My contribution to the language!

...everybody's got one!

(courtesy of HMHB)

Diferrent day

When you think your spellingg's wrong, it usually is.

never hit a woman,
always get your round in at the bar

Thank God I'm an atheist

If there isn't an afterlife, I will feel such a fool

your face will stay like that

... I Drink therefore I am.

Duh.

That's probably because it is.

Before you assume conspiracy, consider cock up

it's probably you.

Death To All Extremists!