One of my daughter's friends is leaving Primary School next week, to move to France. My daughter is very upset, and there was much weeping yesterday evening. 'Tell you what' I said 'There's a guy about to appear at Glastonbury who manages to make misery amusing. His name's Morrissey.' I may then have uttered the kiss-of-death words, 'You'll really like him.'
I thought all was going well during 'First Of The Gang To Die', with the angst of the subject matter offset by the hand on hip 'Such a silly boy' retort. And then a distant alarm bell sounded. Isn't there a song on his most recent album about Paris? Something about him moving to Paris because nobody loves him here? Ach, he's only doing the Greatest Hits, so that's not going to crop up. There Is A Light That Never Goes Out was tricky, Alma Matters could be worked with because of the Coronation Street reference, although admitting that Alma had died didn't help. 'He's so unhappy! He wants to die and he wants everyone else to die!' shouted my daughter. 'Yes, but he said 'Manc-fester' so he's laughing really!' 'One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell' made things so much worse, but at least he hadn't done the one about Paris. And then, of course, he did. 'Thanks a lot, Dad!!' yelled my daughter. 'Um, look at his guitarist!' I pathetically yelped, 'he's really fat!'
I wonder which other acts really shouldn't be introduced to 10 year old children. Any temptation to say Gary Glitter can stop right now.