Join James as he boozes his way round England from the 1st to the 31st of his favourite month.

iron lunged chanteuse and famous off spring works a tight seam for 18 hours....

David's steel former leader of lib-lab pact needs a joist...

lilly's Allen key light entertainment chanteuse and famous offspring needs some furniture knocking together....

Marks's Ellen jobbing editor and hampshire born Derek Nimo impersonator becomes Mayor of small yorkshire ex-weaving town....

Oh and David's Semen.....

Join Mark as he looks into the crazy world of his favourite actress, Ellen de Generes. Larks a plenty guaranteed. She's a lesbian, you know.

Join David as he looks into the crazy world of letters. And hippies.

when the BBC employ people calledd Fennella Fudge , Richard Bacon and Julia Caesar

Join Nationwide's Sue as she investigates the crazy world of the "sweet on a stick". Also features ice.

Join Eamon as he...oh forget it.

Surprisngly popular wanna be architect , serial child adopter and actor opens ex coal mine with Nattalie cole see early.

Sean's Bean phone salesman, deluded football fan and actor stares longly at last baked bean that rolled off his plate an dunder the fridge.

Danny's Baker cheeky barrowboy ,inventor of punk and disco and Candyman chats with teenager bun sales girl in deptford Branch of Gregg's about whether Mrs Mills was ever in Yes and has she ever been hit with somethiing while in the cinema.

Mark's Kermode bequiffed barrel chested former guardsman and.....

Oscar winner explores centres soft and hard with his favourite British confectioner

Oscar winner explores the world of pain

Join us by the fireplace children as Countdown supremo relates his favourite stories.

Join us by the fireplace children as TV cook relates the Tale of the Golden Fleece

Ex Hey Jude hitmaker jets to Trinidad to discover the Bitumen Fields which have fascinated him since childhood.

The Boss effects a jailbreak releasing wrongly convicted junior felon. Jesus someone stop me.

Dead Oscar winner takes a wry look at our feathered friends

Follow the infamous psychologist as he splices scenes from "The Jewel in the Crown" with quotes from Kipling.

Idiosyncratic REM frontman is introduced to the world of printing. No more

The Modfather attempts to say things and can't!

REM bassist visits the Warburton factory, you know the rest.

Bob Dylan scours the culinary world for sauces that go nicely with salmon

Doomed minstrel nervously approaches the duckpond after pissed-up dare from John Martyn

In and out of favour footballer wonders whether other thorny plants grip as much as bramble

Probably has already so the jokes on me...lord help us all.

Fern's Britain

also:-

The BBC are currently commissioning a short Documentary series on a famous Scottish King and freedom fighter . Rumour has it an Antiques show presenter is on the short list to present it. That's all I have so far on that. Stayed tuned.

Steve Bruce - Wigan boss interviews The Boss

Sardonic Pet Shop Boy looks for a lodger. With hilarious results.

Join the lovable but put upon grandfather as he revisits some of his favourite Scottish exclamations.

Lucky-to-be-alive, Top Gear presenter takes a look at the ins-and-outs of the Hammond organ. Can it do 0-60 in A minor? There's only one way to find out.

Another compilation of popular news stories from yesteryear with 'the guy with the tie'. Featuring this week - the silver jubilee, Bill Wyman's wedding (yes, THAT one)& John McEnroe having a tantrum.

Seventy-something songster presents a card-game from his local casino. Hold your bets.

Self congratulatory lifestyles of the rich and famous type show. Lot's of Yachts and Bikinis. Aspirational TV at it's best. On Bravo 2am every friday.

Another chance to watch the confirmed character actor depress a roomful of previously joyful people against the clock.

This week Sly focuses his attention on the Eiffel Tower.

8-part series following the Blur and Gorillaz frontman as he undergoes major reconstructive surgery that will transform him into a spacious barn conversation.

Will Damon be finished in time to accommodate ex-city broker, Michael, and the herd of cows that his family are driving up the country from their London home?

And will the emotional conclusion be scored by Elbow or Coldplay?

Bespectacled former Blur guitarist joins the Cambridge Rowing club with hilarious results

Lanky Welsh bassist stars in the remake of HBO's gripping Baltimore based Cop series. This time it's set in the mean streets of Swansea.

Louis Theroux tracks down former Robot Wars siren to the foothills of the Appalachians. He endeavors to discover why, at the height of her showbiz career, did she throw it all in to share a Shack with a grizzly Woodsman.

… I think it has to be that it can't just be the person's name; we have to be like those clever TV people and twist it a bit.
Here's another:
Paul's Henry - Crossroads' loveable simpleton gives us his personal view of much-married monarch Henry VIII.

Arsenal striker lavers up for another... oh, you're way ahead of me

an in-depth study of the varieties of mineral water available in British supermarkets, with exclusive footage of Roger singing songs from 'The Final Cut' alongside various mountain streams.

Docusoap. We join the popular but troubled chanteusse as she attempts to rebuild her life by creating her own brand of fruit - from scratch!

Featuring the songs 'Conference Call' & 'William, It Was Really Nothing'.

The former Auteur hates things in French.

Bearded folk-rock artiste takes the lucky viewer on a journey of discovery through his collection of Thomson directories and describes the central role they have played in his life.

Mark Lemarr in search of the world's greatest mullet

Former Stone Roses Jackson Pollock-apeing artist visits the Cathedrals of England investigating the architecture beyond the nave. Think Jonathan Meades with paint splashes.

Crazy punk journalist demonstrates how to survive the credit crunch with austerity and frugality. This week he visits a well known supermarket.

Ex-Starsky and Hutch heartthrob travels the world attending seances, hoping to communicate with dead souls.

The cheeky but dyslexic scamp gets into more scrapes with his trusty pet sidekick Cap'n Flink.

Want to know your Great Bear from your Orion? Let the nation's favourite loveable Scouser be your guide...

Pete Doherty's new musical about Tommy Docherty. Pete joins John Barrowman and Graham Norton in a reality show to discover a new star to play the part of the legendary and iconic football manager.

Former Eastender exposes her secret Beatnik roots and goes on the road in search of the American Dream

A moving BBC4 documentary in which the Queen guitarist and astrophysicist - Brian May - discusses his bandmate's love of the planet Mercury. Includes rare footage of Mercury's sketches, depicting the 176-day orgies that he believed were a regular occurrence on the planet's surface.

Sun supremo traces his scottish roots back to the realm of Strathpeffer and gets stabbed.

Disturbing insight into the well loved comedy actor's obsession with adult babyism.

Warning: Features scenes of strong nappies.

Shot a waitress? You ain't seen nuthin! Join the wall of sound whack-job as he attempts to build a stone monument to himself. On his own chest!!!

War correspondant searches for his Ithaca.

This week the Coulson family from Macclesfield attempt to carve a likeness of Bill Oddie from semi-precious stone and win the holiday of a lifetime!

This week Topgun Star and Scientologist visits the Bois de Boulogne.

Tedious late night fodder in which the snood-wearing 1980s popstar attempts to rent out a Kinetic Energy Recovery System, borrowed from the Ferrari F1 team.

Thinly veiled excuse for innuendo and men in Leather.

Welsh music journo's private video diary.

Self-important acting oaf shows us round his hi-fi.

This week Renaissance expert and art critic Brian Sewell wonders why his producer has given him a ticket to Mali.

Car program dedicated to derivatives of Morris cars.

Martin Jarvis spends another night with Manchester's specialist genital A&E unit.

This week's episode: Zippy and bungle.

Music creative also has the power to settle peoples tummy upsets. Whilst singing in accordance with random cards.

A Culture Show special in which The Strokes lead singer explores how the ending of the film Casablanca might vary in different parallel universes.

The hobo-come-experimental songwriter glances at his watch, kicks his heels, and looks at the bus time-table for the fifth time in as many minutes.

Ex-Stones bassist asks his former bandmates to explain how come they never liked him

pissed off with me disappearing into the computer room every 2 minutes sniggering so I'm afraid I'm calling it a night.

Thank you for a very enjoyable diversion after a hard day, I look forward to further sniggering tomorrow (or later if I can think of an excuse).

Gritty WWII drama. Bomber Commander Lemmy is sent forward in time to the 1980s. His mission: To hunt down and kill half of the preening, session musician band - Mr. Mister.

pop demagogue and sex shop owner traces his ancestral roots to Balquhidder and gets stabbed

This week we go back in time to 1970.

Self-important acting oaf shows us round her retro radios.

New to CBeebies - A cartoon chronicling the adventures of Laura the Marlin, who alas cannot swim.

Self-important acting oaf shows us the contents of his tool kit.

Watch as Joan spreads her love and affection among military hardware salesman across war torn Africa

Bolton born radio ironist and author uses out of date street slang to rate various vertical rock walls and moutainside
meanwhile his radio sidekick bowl cut sporting obscure tune hunter puntastic author and tiny person
Stuart's Ma's Coney see's the wigan born DJ's mum showing off her prized rabbit.

Self-important etc... sunburst Les Paul, blah blah

Composting advice.

new york guitar mangler and rock giant courts contraversy by talking openly about his loyal man servant and former conqueror of Iberian peninsula Tariq ibn Ziyad.

A new Iranian reality show in which the 'fish-nor-flesh' UK-soul has-been leases a number of a luxury apartments and bets all the money on a horse-race.

Diminutive actor argues over small, inconsequential details.

after the failure of his corporate gigs and in need of a new pack of hunting dog's former roxy music lips man and M&S blazer model shows us behind the scenes of his job rowing the dead across the river styx.

Emmerdale. The woolpack is in turmoil as dimunitive blonde basque botherer and backwoods banjo plucker turns head and pulls pints in the saloon bar....

Another tale of fabulous tents.

in which everybodys favourite perma-sozzled waitress bothering rock legend decides to contribute to reducing C02 emissions by planting a small forest.

Caution - May contain posing with his 'axe', man.

Just how really actually swingin' were Louis Jordan, Louis Prima and The Brian Setzer Orchestra? The music-based hit magazine maker sums up their cool credentials while dressed in a zoot suit.
Followed at nine thirty by Shane's Kirks - all the original episodes of Star Trek rated in ascending order.

in which the star of TVs TJ Hooker woos young ladies and promptly loses control of...

oh never mind

Former Democratic nominee and harbinger of Doom visits Pamplona

the former pixies bass player and Breeders footwoman starts a new show selling bargain guitar straps, peddles and effects pedals so make sure your don't miss Kim's Deals.

It's family affair on QVC as after that it's over to twin sister Kelly for more bargain wool, needles and knitting patterns.

we explore the need for renewable energy and it's potential sources. Episode 2. Waveaction & British Sea Power.....

Sixties songbird's moving portrait on the calamity that befell a great man of the picturesque Cumbrian town

Feisty Scots actress traces her ancestral roots back to the outer hebrides and we live happily everafter.

his record comapny former Chic front man and producer falls on hard times and turns to adult film, back to back flash flick fun with "Nile Rogers" followed by his follow up Scottish outdoor porn flick "Blue Nile"....

Goth progenitor travels the USA to find The Shootists former male lovers.

Demographically limited but entertaining gothic DIY show with Pete Murphy. This week Pete helps Wayne Hussey install an impractical but dramatic chandelier in his bungalow.

Punk travels the Netherlands reciting poems.

Roddy Frame discusses his recent colonoscopy.

and blubber peddler is pieced together in this archive treat so sit back and enjoy the lino and boardroom tantrums in "Bob's Marley & the whalers"

Billy Joel hosts this contrived one-off concert from CBGBs. Also featuring Sam the Sham, Van the Man and Phil Collins.

This week every Ladies favourite Buccaneer investigates one of the most daring raids of WW2.

King of Rock'n'Roll gets a job managing a Lidl-style discount warehouse

Join Cilla as she attempts to relaunch her career in Zimbabwe.

This week Camembert.

Encouraged by Elvis, above...

Once ubiquitous tambourine slapping Uncle Fester-alike Ray Cooper reminisces inaccurately about touring with 'Elton' while drinking 4 litres of Creme de Menthe. Contains nudity.

Dee-dee and Jonny grumble and whinge about the failure of the egyptian sun god to act on their behalf in cursing their dodgy accoutants..

U2 lead singer shows us his favourite magazine covers of the 90's

snooker nearly man and people's favourite Jimmy offers washed or bleached intestine treats to lewisham shoppers...

What was it like being Jimi Hendrix? We find out.

Former Beach Boy betrays an oversensual expectation from different vocal recording equipment. Contains strong and sometimes distressing scenes involving diaphragms and wet wipes.

Led Zep's golden god sets up a wind farm in Shropshire and attempts to assuage the disgruntled locals with the healing power of rock.

Unfortunately dead bassist from yesteryear takes us down his favourite lanes of England.

How crazy was Arthur Brown's world? We find out.

This week George rents several Ken Loache films.

and Oasis hanger on and former mile runner and olympic bid hero Lord coe team up to fight crime in Bell & Sebastian.....

The former Amboy Duke explores what it takes to be a gentleman in the 21st century.

tours the world explaining his love of all things marine in in BBC 2 "Billy's Oceans"

This week the lovely Vicky tries to find a game of Texas hold 'em in the Swat Valley.

Gerry Marsden enters this year's London Marathon and sets an early lead before being overtaken towards the end by Tom Courtenay and Haile Gebrselassie.

internet bad joke introduces us to his friend and water ski champ in "Rick's Wakeman"....

The much-loved actress visits the world's smelliest places

This week Former Soul screamer travels to LA and tries to find a distributor for his new "utility" belt for women.

In a bizarre remake of Being John Malkovitch, Teardrop Explodes leader and notorious twat is forced to suffer a series of increasingly bewildering nightmarish scenarios inside the Tardis-like body of ace Police stickman without going insane or breaking down in floods of tears and crying for his book of European Pagan sites

tears and family fun as Canadian rock legendary introduces his family tonite of UK Style's "Neil's Young"

The once-ubiquitous presenter takes a personal - though belated - journey into the world of Ecstasy.

lifstyle show "Britney Spears"

This week's guest star is Stan Collymore.

The shouty actor is challenged to spend a week living as a trappist monk.

Tindersticks growler travels the world subsisting entirely on potatoes, manioc, rice and bread.

I'm working on documentary were scottish new wave revivalist and Black eyed peas eye candy chanteuse outrage stoke newington locals by opening a chicken restaurant franchise in "Franz & Fergie's Nandos"

The world of Communication as presented by Calender girl and Fort Boyard presenter.

Week 1. The carrier pigeon

Former pubescent tennis prodigy inherits a 1975 Allegro and - oh, hang on…

Aborted documentary.

Hilarity all round as keyboard stabbing progster and Santa-believing sidekick share a flat with bloodhound-resembling sitcom star.

run miser and tv opinionmeister explores the world of Male only sleeping facilities in Geoffrey's Boys' cots....

it's a allstar ball blast as Bury's finest try to beat correcting fluid heir, metal mickey producer,former boy jockey....... oh you know how it goes

...Adult content

the bard of barking (again( introduces us to the madcap adventures of his country village neighbours

David Starkey and Peter Hitchens fight crime.

This week Starkey is sure his gardener is faking his back injury in order to claim incapacity benefit. The team go to work !!!

...A searing investigation into microwaved ducks

In which a deceased English bluesman traces the history of warming underwear

A frank and sometimes far-too-detailed look at Bazalgette's Victorian sewerage system hosted by the haughty Antiguan cricketer

Tiring of the music industry the gospel legend sets up an office supplies business - with hilarious consequences!

Richard Fairbrass tells us the correct way to say his brother's name. 12 parts.

The stick-slim, shoe-shopping Sex and the City star fronts an in-depth investigation into the outerwear of choice for Mod scooterists.

In which the Queen guitarist shares his cravings for Lennon's lost weekend. (Help me out here).

Actually all of Queen work :-

Freddie's Mercury
Roger's Taylor
John's Deacon

Former Erasure singer takes us round the West End visiting some of his favourite hotspots.

Former WHAM! lead man visits diminutive film star Michael J Fox and asks what can be done to surpress the symptoms of this distressing condition. Warning: Contains scenes in public lavatories and shaky camera work.

Join the Mael brothers as theyyyyzzzzzzzz.....

National Treasure and all round Mr Clever Boots tells us exactly what makes a good cooked breakfast.

HGV-licensed partner of above demonstrates etc

Little known documentary fronted by Hollywood legend all about Mary Queen of Scots

(yes, i've been scouring the DVD Shelf)

Kelsey's Grammar - former star of Cheers' get's pedantic about correct use of apostrophe's

watch as the Smith's spikey haired bass slapper battles blizzards on the snake pass to get home for Christmas.

Big-nosed barker fronts Call My Bluff remake

Jeff, who used to chauffeur the star of Good Will Hunting and Gross Pointe Blank spills the beans on what she was really like.

'nuff said

gives advice on the ideal tool for cutting the tricky edge bits of your lawn in...Joe's Strimmer.

shares his love of the blues and mass produced yoghurt in Alexi's fruit corner.

The Househusband's Favourite Podcast Superstar travels the country meeting a cross-section of bryophtye enthusiasts, and delves into their damp, secluded crevices. This week, Brian in Derby shows her his hornwarts.

Andrew Collins explores his sexuality in America's capital with Paul weller's ex in AC goes AC-DC in DC with Dee C Lee (Dozy Mick and titch....

Justin's Curries - former del Amitri frontman and hirsute Glaswegian bon viveur teams up with Madhur Jaffrey with predictable results
Roddy's Frames - Aztec camera jangly axe wrangler gets all Sewell on yo ass as he examines the surrounds of various famous paintings
Zal's Clementines - Sensational Alex Harvey Band guitarist discusses at not inconsiderable length his interest in small easily peelable citrus fruit

Coventry-bred misery-magnet invites us through his front door. But no further.

Jason's Donner Van
Cheeky Aussie parks up on a variety of Britain's A-roads and serves meat of indistinct origins to motorists who should know better. This week, the A12, just north of Colchester.

Jimmy's Cliffs and Nick's Caves
Odd-couple double act stroll the nation's perimeter, seeing what they can find.

Robert's Plants and Brandon's Flowers
Fragrant.

Wayne's Coins
Episode 5: A Drachma causes consternation, but Wayne has a song that might just hold the answer.

Sly's Tones
Sylvester Stallone plays every ringtone on his phone, repeating some of his favourites. Running time: 1 long hour

Amy's Winehouse
Gruesome.

Beth's Gibbons... Ian's Jury... Keith's Flint... Johnny's Cash... etc. etc...

this week, beds.

Brucie picks his Spring cruise.

after spell in chokey tries to rebuild his reputation by keeping the side streets clear of ice.. tune in for Gary's Gritter.

Meet Ray Winstone. Next week, Danny Dyer.

A sort of Star Trek/The Osbournes mash up. Sponsored by Gillette.

Gets a walking cliche to mumble sumfink about nuffink...

A posthumous documentary about the deleterious effect creamcheese had on the prostatic health of the Weasels ripped my flesh hitmaker

the black country foghorn tunesmith and nut peddler returns to our screens to introduce a charming series of films detailing the development in Britain of the enternally mis-named "Gas-ometers".episode one "Dry Seal "Wiggins" type" gas holder.

The clean cut former England fly-half shares his favourite words with Adrian Chiles. This week: Flange.

Lion haired Barrel Chested fishmonger and Mod shows us his surprisingly decorated holly bush.

Lion haired Barrel Chested fishmonger and Mod shows us his surprisingly decorated holly bush.

Rock's elder statesman and former member of The Led Zeppelins opens a book at random and sets the words to music. (Contrary to press reports, Robert Plant has declined the invitation to participate in this programme because of conflicting engagements.)

Million pound thumb owner and childhood dog victim cannot progress beyond the 41st stage of Donkey Kong. We join him as he throws his Nintendo out of the tourbus window in frustration and then sheepishly visits Dixons to purchase another.

We join glum windmiller as he visits the liminal territories of different Northamptonshire parishes

Crufts co-host finds a small gap in the wall of the changing room at his local swimming baths and...you're way ahead of me...

Former Blue Peter stalwart reimagines Candle in the Wind by popular demand

Chief scout gets waterboarded

the whimsical and at other times grumpy northern word honer and tea shop vistor take us round his impressive collection apiary equipment.

The brummie child star r’n’b hollerer and organ fiddler is pleased to show garden expect Rachel D’Thame round his 10 acres of beech stand recently acquired in a game canasta with Edward Woodwood.

... I’m starting to see why former tv gardening show favourite Gaye Search doesn’t get much work any more.

Former Marillion frontman etc.

heartwarming adventures on CBeebies with the pillow-titted ex cockernee sparrer Page 3 "stunner", now fashionably carpet-munching Sam Fox as she has japes aplenty with her vulpine pal.

Makeover show in which our auto-inclined host helps overweight middle aged men re-invent themselves

Penelope’s Cruz always hotter than Barbera and to the manor born star now turned strangely old money from a lass born in Merton, Ms P Keith prowls the streets of latino South Central LA with her posse of homies and plenty of “heat” and gin in the trunk of her pimped Dodge viper.

Ted’s Moults
Another chance to see the Window salesmen and well remembered field and hedge expert’s classic series on the seasonal changes in the plummage of domestic pet birds. This week Budgies and parakeets.

“Sue Pollard”: we follow the former manic star of “oh Mister Beeching” and “Give us a clue” as she fights off competing civil court cases from both sets of her neighbours over the height of her Leylandia hedges. The show takes an interesting and confusing twist for the programme namers as the Court orders her to pay damages but also cut back the branches on her prized conifers.

This week some proper geezers go to Margate and drink some larger.

If you're having trouble not splashing the seat, join not-as-popular-as-she-used-to-be actress Julie who will guide you through techniques to improve your aim.

less a programme - more a headline

Infuriated apian continues ramapage

Twelve parter following languid Mancunian and occasionally excitable Canuck Deja Vu hitmakers as they visist Merseyside and are under-whelmed.

Join Todd Carty and the drummer from Velvet Underground as they inch pointlessly towards some god-forsaken inuit hovel near the North Pole.

On your marks! Get set! Laugh! This never gets old. Each week, versatile comic genius Duncan Norvelle pounces on an unsuspecting member of the public and then runs off in an effeminate way.

A frank and revealing profile of the former DJ and how he found himself identifying with the character Travis Bickle from Scorcese's Taxi Driver, during the dark days following his exile from Radio One. In one particularly disturbing scene we see him re-creating De Niro's famous 'You Talkin' To Me' scene.

Pointless radio no-hoper plays 'hilarious' pranks on Formula 1 cherub

Join us in the cage as the man who gave us "our tune" finds which is harder-a pitbull or a grizzly?

Join us in the cage as the man who gave us "our tune" finds out which is harder-a pitbull or a grizzly?

prominent God-botherer, sometime democratically elected respresentative of some parish or other and ertswhile axe hero of bostin Black country arse-kickers Slade shares his memories of his favourite raised-altitude geographical feature

Early 80s archive footage of Kind of Blue hitmaker discussing his favourite Barry Davies commentaries

Join a group of rabid republicans shouting abuse at America´s new president. On Fox all day, every day.

Join surly Irish poet as he derides bungalows but praises Tenements as they work on many levels.

In which the former Monkee and now down-home folk merchant tests a variety of high-performance motor cars.

in an effort to improve the ratings for that dreadful "only fools spin off" the lead actor joins disgraced F1 supremo in a Kensington basement for tea and...

Elton John's sensitive documentary on the life and work of Mother Theresa of Calcutta.

I completely stole that.

Does Gazza's last £1 go in the meter, or on a litre of Diamond White? Tune in and find out.

Perma-tanned, knicker-avoiding former travel presenter road-tests a stable of male escorts. With weekly eliminations!

Scouse bookie-botherer reveals the extent of his debts.

1924 - 2009

The ageing song & dance man (no, not that one) and the Turnpike Tunesmith take a light-hearted look at how the socio-economic landscape might look - "a little ways off" as one of them likes to call it.

Lurkalonga burial ground fun with Mr Pink Toothbrush himself

Ex-Rangers manager searches out unpalatable drinks from around the world

In which he discusses his influences Long John Baldry and John Lennon.

Watch as the colour slowly drains from the former VP candidate`s face as she is posed a series of difficult questions.

In which our smarmy, tumour-ridden gagmeister embarks on a spiritual quest amongst the abbeys of Europe. The programme is curtailed in unfortunate circumstances when, after one too many Trappist shandies at Chimay Abbey in Belgium, the perma-tanned gameshow host cannot resist asking the Abbot whether he has a "dirty habit he would like to share with the viewers".

Watch as late UN Secretary General publicly berates former rap star for his many excesses

...with Ian McNabb.

Self-righteous former 10,000 Maniac runs the rule over the rhythmic group shoutings of half-person half-fish collective.

The one-hit wonder shows his collection of fizzy drinks.

...hilarious monkey-faced comic and bane of Mr Grimsdale's life shares his thoughts on life, love and the meaning of it all.

Bumbling 1930's comic and star of "Oh Mr Porter" is joined by Graham Moffat and Moore Marriot for a sidesplitting look at this staple of the equine diet .

Watch Maddy Prior and Donald Fagen fight it out over which of fifty-six drum fills to use on verse three of "Gaudette" .

Art documentary in which the late Zabadak hitmaker and his band explore the rich history of the three-panelled art format.

(Ian "Tich" Amey was invited but he chose not to take part in the making of this programme.)

Reality show in which Peter Noone and bandmates embrace the solitary life in separate remote caves.

...Scouse legend Marsden takes ferry across the Mersey to visit renowned cardiac unit.

Join former Chelsea striker (now MK Dons) in his quest of becoming the next Eminem.

Nashville star shares his innermost thoughts with y'all.

BBC ONE has commissioned a new documentary series with Lemmy Kilmister in which he will travel across Britain exploring national identity through one of our defining traits - our sense of humour.

Island-based alcoholic goes over the hedge!

Erstwhile ‘Head sticks man fallen on hard times returns to his original career in kids wear design but finds a niche market in pet nappies. Follow the hapless ex-skin thumper as he tries to persuade the public that his range of Snügglës and Pët Pampërs adorned with Wehrmacht insignia and pun laden reworkings of Jack “Dogniels” whiskey labels are the thing for their tea cup sized incontinent fashion “petcessory”.

presents a half hour show on his enduring facination with not unfriendly farmers, in Blake's Civil Fielders

Join the black-eyed peas and biscuit passing country-soul legend as she visits a succession of stately homes, seeking out and interviewing members of the aristocracy.

New morning TV hospital show where former Yes man attempts to bring patients out of comas with hilarious age related anecdotes.

Soul sensation discusses his favourite crisp flavours

Rock n roll based chat show featuring Suzi at the leather clad helm

Nostalgic travelogue in which the veteran guitarist and tutorial writer revisits the many and varied objects used in lieu of a urinal in almost nine decades of being taken short.

Long-running gardening show in which the veteran guitarist and tutorial writer fights a never-ending battle against the inexorable advance of plants he doesn't want in his garden.

Internet-only, niche-market, NSFW 'adult' show in which the veteran guitarist and tutorial writer discovers a hitherto-unexpected taste for....

(*Sorry, I'll get me coat*)

1940s occupied Europe based DIY show in which the comedian stealthily removes nazi propaganda armed only with an axe

Made-for-Scottish-TV short which takes a look at the veteran guitarist and tutorial writer's scale model of a mafia boss.

Ex Womble turns cricketer

Singer trains a squad of kleptomaniac midgets

Sainted Celtic tunesmith takes a nostalgic look at the much lamented stalwart of 20th century small business.