Entertainment For Lively Minds
The Massive Member Montage is finished!
To mark the momentous occasion of the 100th issue of the Word, I've gathered together as many photos of the lovely mugs of the Massive as I could find.
NEW EDIT: That's it - After a few late additions from the Dublin Mingle, I've finally run out of space. There's an up-to-date guide to Who's Who below the montage. What a beautiful bunch you are!
Thanks to Handsome.P.Wonderful for organising the Congratulations To The Word video wall, where I got many of the pics. The others came from some of the many Massive mingles.
Can you spot yourself?
NEW EDIT:
Row 1: 1) Skirky, 2) Andy Mackenzie, 3) David Wright, 4) Paddy H, 5) Lucas Hare, 6) Martin Simmonds, 7) Big Si, 8) backwards7, 9) Ola Claesson 10) geedubyapee 11) plumb1909 12) Trevor_Raggatt
Row 2: 1) jackthebiscuit, 2) Mrxsg, 3) Roo, 4) hazeyjane, 5) Ozmium (barmaid obscured), 6) VincePacket, 7) Douglas, 8) ganglesprocket, 9) Sue 10) Neil Jung 11) Carol From Luton 12) Mr Drakeygirl
Row 3: 1) Steven C, 2) Five-Centres, 3) Sid Williams, 4) el hombre malo, 5) Paul Vincent, 6) Carl Parker, 7) Prestonia, 8) Reno Dakota, 9) Baskerville Old Face, 10) Richie B 11) Vinnell 12) maggieloveshopey 13) tim tunes
Row 4: 1) Vorgongod, 2) Captain Underpants, 3) Grant, 4) Hannah, 5) James Blast, 6) fortuneight, 7) drakeygirl, 8) Pencilsqueezer, 9) Bob, 10) Phil Pirrip, 11) Richie T 12) Dadwardo
Row 5: 1) Beany, 2) JoLean, 3) DogFacedBoy, 4) Paul Waring, 5) southstand, 6) Handsome.P.Wonderful, 7) JamesB, 8) Pat Carty, 9) Anne (Mrs Grant), 10) Dr Volume 11) humphreym 12) itfc1959 13) jonnyartist
Row 6: 1) man.of.soup, 2) Vince Black, 3) Joe R, 4) katyg, 5) Nicodemus, 6) Gordon Kerr, 7) Leedsboy 8) Melrose Ape, 9) Stuart 10) mojoworking 11) Rigid Digit 12) Kid A
Row 7: 1) rocker43, 2) Keith M, 3) borsuk, 4) Gavin Adam, 5) Lenny Law, 6) Doods, 7) RosBif 8) millymollymandy, 9) tkdmart (Liv Tyler kissing him, obscured. Yes, really). 10) Steve Hill 11) Nick Duvet 12) Fraser Lewry
Row 8: 1) Riccardo Gargiulo, 2) burncoat, 3) Uncle Wheaty, 4) el toro calvo grande, 5) daddyorchipsblog, 6) Donna (Mrs Pencilsqueezer), 7) Boomboy, 8) timjulian, 9) Graham, 10) BigJimBob, 11) Con Coleman 12) Rugfoot
Row 9: 1) badger_king, 2) Mondo, 3) Art Vandelay, 4) milkybarnick, 5) Steve Riddle, 6) TedLoaf, 7) Retro Man, 8) Tom, 9) Beezer, 10) Malc, 11) Scott 12) Adman
Row 10: 1) Robbie1112, 2) heshofcheese, 3) jimmyshoes01, 4) Ivan, 5) Fitter Stoke, 6) YTDS, 7) Paul Vincent, 8) kidpresentable, 9) Otis J Watermelon, 10) Jon, 11) Steve Turner 12) Specs_beard
Row 11: 1) Merv, 2) Iainso, 3) badartdog, 4) Paul Cunningham, 5) Paul Thompson, 6) Othwaite, 7) Ahh_Bisto, 8) clivetemple, 9) QTron, 10) Glenbervie, 11) bigsteviecook 13) davebigpicture
Row 12: 1) Stephen Merrick, 2) hubertrawlinson, 3) Mark Bagnall, 4) thecolonel, 5) Nick Orton, 6) Twangothan, 7) andielou, 8) Colin H, 9) fatmanjez, 10) newpathstohelicon, 11) Mike_H 12) paulclark72
Row 13: 1) PeteWingrave 2) Monsignor_Bonehead 3) Vent My Spleen 4) Pax Romana 5) Eamonn O Donnell 6) Dr J 7) theweemo 8) Danny Baker 9) Graeme Thomson 10) supersizeart 11) Springer Bell 12) Toffee the Cat
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You're hired!
Drakey - your montage design skills are now on a par with that required for Word cover art commissions (see right). When can you start?
I missed a trick, though, didn't I.
Katy g (6 down 4 across) needs glasses and a bobble hat to match her top and then we could all play 'Where's Wally?'
Disappointed..
Very disappointed that you didn't get my (partially obscured) mug in there :-(
Ah well, will definitely be at the next London mingle
Aha! But before I'd even seen you ticking me off
I was lifting it from Twitter, and it is with lots of others soon to be uploaded.
Ah, Thank you!
You're a star :-)
Massive Members Montage Who's Who
Row 1: 1) Skirky, 2) Andy Mackenzie, 3) David Wright, 4) Paddy H, 5) Lucas Hare, 6) Martin Simmonds, 7) Big Si, 8) backwards7, 9) Ola Claesson 10) geedubyapee 11) plumb1909
Row 2: 1) jackthebiscuit, 2) Mrxsg, 3) Roo, 4) hazeyjane, 5) Ozmium (barmaid obscured), 6) VincePacket, 7) Douglas, 8) ganglesprocket, 9) Sue 10) Neil Jung 11) Carol From Luton
Row 3: 1) Steven C, 2) Five-Centres, 3) Sid Williams, 4) el hombre malo, 5) Paul Vincent, 6) Carl Parker, 7) Prestonia, 8) Reno Dakota, 9) Baskerville Old Face, 10) Richie B 11) Vinnell 12) maggieloveshopey
Row 4: 1) Vorgongod, 2) Captain Underpants, 3) Grant, 4) Hannah, 5) James Blast, 6) fortuneight, 7) drakeygirl, 8) Pencilsqueezer, 9) Bob, 10) Phil Pirrip, 11) Richie T
Row 5: 1) Beany, 2) JoLean, 3) DogFacedBoy, 4) Paul Waring, 5) southstand, 6) Handsome.P.Wonderful, 7) JamesB, 8) Pat Carty, 9) Anne (Mrs Grant), 10) Dr Volume 11) humphreym 12) itfc1959
Row 6: 1) man.of.soup, 2) Red Umpire, 3) Joe R, 4) katyg, 5) Nicodemus, 6) Gordon Kerr, 7) Leedsboy 8) Melrose Ape, 9) Stuart 10) mojoworking 11) Rigid Digit
Row 7: 1) rocker43, 2) Keith M, 3) borsuk, 4) Gavin Adam, 5) Lenny Law, 6) Doods, 7) RosBif 8) millymollymandy, 9) tkdmart (Liv Tyler kissing him, obscured. Yes, really). 10) Steve Hill 11) Nick Duvet
Row 8: 1) Riccardo Gargiulo, 2) burncoat, 3) Uncle Wheaty, 4) el toro calvo grande, 5) daddyorchipsblog, 6) Donna (Mrs Pencilsqueezer), 7) Boomboy, 8) timjulian, 9) Graham, 10) BigJimBob, 11) Con Coleman
Row 9: 1) badger_king, 2) Mondo, 3) Art Vandelay, 4) milkybarnick, 5) Steve Riddle, 6) TedLoaf, 7) Retro Man, 8) Tom, 9) Beezer, 10) Malc, 11) Scott
Row 10: 1) Robbie1112, 2) heshofcheese, 3) jimmyshoes01, 4) Ivan, 5) Fitter Stoke, 6) YTDS, 7) Paul Vincent, 8) kidpresentable, 9) Otis J Watermelon, 10) Jon, 11) Steve Turner
Row 11: 1) Merv, 2) Iainso, 3) badartdog, 4) Paul Cunningham, 5) Paul Thompson, 6) Othwaite, 7) Ahh_Bisto, 8) clivetemple, 9) QTron, 10) Glenbervie, 11) bigsteviecook
Row 12: 1) Stephen Merrick, 2) hubertrawlinson, 3) Mark Bagnall, 4) thecolonel, 5) Nick Orton, 6) Twangothan, 7) andielou, 8) Colin H, 9) fatmanjez, 10) newpathstohelicon, 11) Mike_H
Oh yes?
What have David Wright & Otis J Watermelon done to get in twice then? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm???
Seriously tho' Drakes, this bloody amazing and you are aces. (and I am the biggest pedant to have noticed the duplications) xxx
No, cheers Hannah - it was getting hard to spot!
Never sub your own work, it's the golden rule...
Oh, I thought there might be two
- it's such a common name, Otis J Watermelon
Even though I have
chosen not to have my picture included I have noticed that if you try hard enough you can sing each row to the tune of "We Didn't Start The Fire" such fun!!
Eat Y'self Fitter (Stoke)...
...if I'd known my on-stage snap was going to be alongside such elegant company, I'd have chosen a picture with fewer chins...
I've replaced the duplications
And following a very exciting email from Colin H, the elusive Carol From Luton is now included (Row 2: No 11), replacing Otis J Watermelon.
The second David Wright (Row 10: No 1) has been replaced by some geezer called Mr Drakeygirl.
Fraser - any chance of deleting my Who's Who, so I can post it again with the corrections? It doesn't give me the option to edit.
EDIT: Blimey, that's what you call service! Thanks Fraser.
EDIT 2: Mr Drakeygirl has been now been usurped by Robbie1112 (Row 10: No 1). In the montage that is, not in real life. Although......
Fight the Power rev. 2.0
Free the Drakeyman 1, now!
Fight the Power rev. 1.0
Free the Drakeyman 1, now!
Very good!
...if a tad unfair: Kate's clearly the Laure Berthauld of Massive World - enigmatic, sultry, ruthlessly effective if slightly unhinged, a perilous cliff edge for men to venture upon... and yet you're making her out to be a buffoon in a bobble hat? Is there something we don't know?
No, it's a fair cop
buffoon in a bobble hat is probably closer to the truth (although I am possibly slightly unhinged)
Disappointing yet endearing...
...at the same time then!
Trouble is, Drakey's got a critical flaw in her otherwise brilliant 'Where's Katy?' gameplan: she's already TOLD us where you are!
Can you hide somewhere else now please? :-D
I expected
to see more beards.
I shaved mine off
just before that photo was taken.
new
If any hair loss manufacturers see this they will be rubbing their hands in anticipation of some new business.
Typical
Only one hat amoung them, and it's on my head.
Looks great (the overall picture, not the hat)
Well done!
Looks like a
newspaper front page tribute after a heinous act has been committed.
Lest we forget those who blogged for the Word.
You're right.
What I've done there is a newspaper tribute to the dead, isn't it. At least I didn't put a black border around it.
Perhaps they all died in an attack...
...of abject tedium having taken a wrong turn en masse into a Glasgowvegas concert?
The word 72....
Members of a bizarre cult with the headquarter in Islington
… led by
a charismatic, giggling man
...in a blue shirt
Btw,
You can add mine from my profile pic drakey but it might spoil the symmetry.
You're going to be awfully lonely on a line on your own..
So I need a few more members of the Massive to step forward.
If anyone wants to send me a pic or point me to their profile pic so I can add them in, get in touch with me through the contact tab by clicking on my name.
I too have a profile pic of myself
Feel free to add me to the new line :)
in fact
scrap that, I need to change my profile pic.
In the meantime, I am the generic Word reader in the photo here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/45709488@N07/5709348793/in/photostream
Clue, receding hairline and glasses a giveaway
What are you talking about?
That's a positive mop of hair!
Your photo is lined up ready to be added.
Speaking of glasses and hair loss
If you need to make up the numbers, you could use my Twitter image. Tis my best side.
That said, I've discovered from HPW's video wall that I look like Lucas Hare's uglier and less-talented sibling.
Speaking of mops of hair and beards
There's a picture in my profile also.
*edit* That's strange, I've just deleted it and added a newer one, but it's defaulting to the old picture. (If I'm in a suit jacket it's the wrong one.)
Wow!
Please tell me that's a very old photo and you're not actually fourteen?
Flattery will get you everywhere, good sir!
I'm 25, not fourteen, but that picture was only taken last June, so I was only 24.
Many thanks.
You can try
and use my Twitter pic but you'll have to crop Johnny Marr out as I don't think he blogs here.
For some reason the GLW...
Was unusually keen to look at this thread, something to do with title I suspect.
In the interest of 'research' you understand
I typed 'massive member' into the search box, just to see where in the mix of giant wangers our innocent little blogpost might find itself. Here is the result:
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Massive Member Montage | Word Magazine
11 May 2011 ... Massive Members Montage Who's Who. Row 1: 1) Skirky, 2) Andy Mackenzie, 3) David Wright, 4) Paddy H, 5) Lucas Hare, 6) Martin Simmonds, ...
www.wordmagazine.co.uk/content/massive-member-montage - Cached
In my defence
I'd like to point out that I had no idea that the thread title could be construed as rude.
And if you believe that, you'll believe anything.
sorry, I have to go
I've got a new exercise program...
Well
On first glance I can name 16. Could Do Better, methinks.
Competition time!
Who can beat Rosbif?
(You did manage to spot yourself, by the way, didn't you?)
I got 51.
(and yet I still feel I should have done better)
PS Top job Drakey! x
Hey look that's me!
But I much prefer my Twitter pic.
What..! So, I'm not in the Massive "elite" anymore eh...?
Have I been blackballed for liking The Clash or summat???
Yeah, sorry Retro
We had a vote at the AGM last week and that was the result.
(everyone knows I'm joking, right????)
Well, I thought you were...
...in deadly earnest at the time!
Pah! I knew it...
Go away for a few days and this is what happens...
You are actually in there somewhere
But I might have covered you up with another picture when trying to slot them all in!
I will retrieve you and add you with the new ones...
Actually, I thought I was there for a minute...
thought I was someone else...8 Across 6 Down - who's that? Good looking chap if I might add ahem...
Dont worry Retro
I am not in it either. Unless of course I am doing my best Martin Simmonds impersonation.
You know what? - I think we have been airbrushed out by the ladies. Drakeygirl compiled it and I bet she got into cahoots with that Hannah to get rid of the undesirables.
And there was me on my best behaviour at the last mingle - I will be obnoxious at the June meet up. That will learn them.
As a giggle I was going to put down
"nice photo of Steve Turner in a trilby" - but you and Martin are both bigger than me so I didn't dare..!
DRAKEY!
*whispers* I think Steve busted our plan! What now?
Oh, there I am...
...that's what zealous Chubby Checking can do to you, I nearly didn't recognise myself!
Superb work drakeygirl, and when is the birthday party?
EDIT: 4a/8d, by the way.
EDIT 2: 4a/7d. Can't even count to bloody seven properly now!
And where's Carol...
...From Luton? Shouldn't there be a single blank square with a black-filled figure of head & shoulders [I know there's a word for this - I just can't think of it at the moment, dammit] to indicate CFL, as is always the case in these newspaper montages where no one has a photo of the Rutland Rampager's 43rd victim, or whatever?
silhouette
perhaps?
That's the one...
...you know how it is: open plan office, all around you people talking s***e, not allowing you to think...
Seeing as you've been so active in this thread, Colin
I've tracked down a photo of you and added it in. Ha!
I don't know how you do it Drakey...
....no, I REALLY don't know how you do it!
But seeing that you can, I have a nice pic of Carol From Luton. If she doesn't contact me offlist wuithin 24 hours shouting NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we'll add it to the wall...
Hello Drakey
I have attempted to send you a pic if you are adding more later. There aren't enough bald headed men there by a long shot!
Not enough slapheads
The size of my trousers these days, I am trying to make up the shortfall in baldies by myself.
JTB (Les) - 1, row 2
A splendid job!
Thanks very much (from 3d, 6a)
It could be
The new series of Non-Celebrity Squares. Or one of those jamboree bag games where your slide the bits about to complete the puzzle..
Must visit optician
I thought I was someone else.
New pic sent - not pretty
Phew!
I'm not on.
Thank F*ck.
Oh no
I'm on.
Damn you Twitter and your profile pictures...
9D 9A. Obviously in contemplative mid-trump. A lot of downward pressure going on there.
Well done to the lovely Drakeygirl for being such a wonderful webmother for us all.
There's a thread in that:
The Massive Breaking Wind.
Can we do Pop Stars Breaking Wind again? It was by some distance the best thread there's ever been on this site, and I'm sure there's no shortage of new material.
Phhhrt.
Or, we could do 'Windypop Stars'
I'll start: Goldthrapp
I'll continue:
Robert Frrrrrripppp
How about
Guff Brooks
Trum Petty
and the Fartbreakers
Iggy Parp.
Honk Williams
.
Iggy Parp
...
*edit* Curse your nimble fingers Bob!
James Brown-cloud
Toot-toots and the Maytals
Fwaaaaptain Bee-fart.
Air-biscuit Supply
The Silent but Violent Femmes
Radioturtlehead
Man, this is so out of character for me.
Fart Gurfunkel
I had to join in.
Jobbie Williams
Sly One and the Family Stone
Nobody Smokie
Ice T Vicar
Elvis
Costellohmygodwhatsthatdreadfulsmell - isthatyou?
Frrrrrrrnnk Zappa
and The Stoppers of Prevention. With two drummers and in 13/8.
grELP
Pull McFartney
....and Ring 'o' Farts
Woo Hoo!
Nice work Missus, guid tae see the Weegie Massif Reprazentin' in force.
No
I can't spot myself.
Goes off and sucks thumb in a corner curled up in foetal position
Marvellous!
There I am, a veritable thorn between the two roses of Hannah and KatyG above and below.
Bur who is the PaddyH lookalike* keeping JoLean and myself apart?
We need a key, Drakey.
*bear in mind I am looking at this on a tiny phone screen, lest either the real or the doppelganger PaddyH take offence...
EDIT: Oooh! And if I'm not mistaken, the nose and lips of a REAL LIFE A-LIST HOLLYWOOD SUPERSTAR have snuck onto the montage....
great work DG!
Though it does look as if 4 down 1 Across is getting a prostate exam....
did i understand this right?
thank god it's not a montage of massive members
Dear Drakeygirl
Imagine my disappointment...etc
Anyone for a game
of Guess Who?
A truly excellent endeavour
Nice one Drakey. From 2d 6a
Hate to be picky...
... but there appears to be two Colin Meloys.
*swoons at the very idea*
I consulted with my mentors,
Al Gore, Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama, and they told me that in the interests of humility and self respect, my picture should remain unseen.
Good work
The Jan mingle group shot seems to have been cut and pasted to shreds. I look a lot more human than most of the ones that get used for "promotional" pusrposes at work.
Who's that scary looking geezer at 4D 8A.
Great work Drakey. I never dreamed I would ever find myself in such august company. Blimey.
It is good work Peter
But do you not think she's blatantly ripped off your original 'Portrait Of And For The Massive' concept?
I'd sue if I were you.
I'm better looking in abstract form as well.
Sue Drakey! Never!
Drakey is one of my bestish mates in the whole wide world. As are you my good fellow.
Who's Sue Drakey?
I thought I was your bestish mate!
Me, I thought Suedrakey..
...was one of those fiendish Japanese things you find in quality newspapers...
[cue someone uploading an old Godzilla feature from the Daily Telegraph]
Can we have a who's who?
I'm 3d 2a looking rather benign. I don't like that pic.
Oooh look
I'm between Drakeygirl and James Blast (waves & hands out playful punches)
30...!
I can name 30 of youse lot...
Martin
Backwards
Ola
Simon (lovely barmaid sadly viciously cropped...)
Vince
Sid
El Hombre
Carl
Reno
Richie
Vorgon
Cap'n Pants
Grant
Hannah
James Blast
Fortuneight
Drakey
Pencil
Sir Bob
Beany
JoLean
Dog Faced Boy
Paul
Handsome
Joe
Katy
Gordon
Leeds sorry you missed the Play-Offs Boy
Borsuk
Roast Beef
Not bad for someone who was cruelly left out eh...!
31...I missed
out Lenny The Law.
Do I win a pineapple?
Glad I'm so memorable Retro
It's not as if we've not met several times.
Yikes...
sorry, that pic doesn't look like you! I had to guess about Lenny's and I've just spotted two more that I need a second opinion on (or a pair of glasses) to be sure...
In which case I'm glad you didn't recognise me
as it's a terrible picture!
Missed me too
clearly our brief hello in Jan wasn't that memorable.
Now I'm confused
I thought that was you 8 down 4 across?
Not you Drakey
You were spot on, but Retro missed me.
Depends on what time of the evening
we said our brief "hello" - if it was after the ale ran out and I was necking goddawful lager then I'm surprised I could remember anyone...just kidding you are 4a 8d and I claim my 32nd member...
I must admit I went through it three times before I found me.
Probably because I look a bit sensible. I'm normally grinning stupidly in Massive pictures through a combination of drink and enjoying myself hugely.
8D 6A.
Is my little darling, Mrs P.Squeezer. Sigh.
Merge
Is there any way of putting all of those pictures into a computer and compiling them to produce the ultimate Word reader?
Here you go
Fantastic!
...This HAS to be the next cover, surely?
So that's why The Prince Albert keeps
running out of bloody real ale by 8pm at the London Massive meet-ups.
I don't want to complain but...
Must you insist on using a photo from 20 years into my future. Here's one from last week of me, my girlfriend and my mother. See what you can do with this. Ciao. Love you D. Mwah.
a
Beany always gets the girl(s)
It must be his boyish charm.
I hope La Mossman doesn't read this thread.
(This isn't the HOLLYWOOD A-LIST SUPERSTAR I was referring to above, by the way...)
Line one, number two
Thats me that is. A little hazy, as was I that day.
A little hazy?
Surely that's me - 2D, 4A
A lot of similar style specs
there. I'm not keen on the whole photo/net thing so I'm stumped for anything sensible to say...er...you're all very beautiful and look like a lot of fun.
4d, 9a...
...would be me. I look a bit like I'm Laughing Alone With Salad. I wasn't. I've never laughed in the presence of salad, as should be distressingly obvious.
I am adding lots of photos
So any more for any more? If you want your cheeky little faces in here, let me know!
Oh, go on then
Maybe they could
be turned into some kind of Panini type stickers for the next issue and you can all do swaps at the next mingle. "I'll swap my Hannah for your Lenny" etc..
Haha!
Excellent stuff.
or Massive Top Trumps
maybe someone could come up with a list of say 10 standard questions that we could all answer, print up a few sets of cards and away you go!
did something like that
a while back on Heartland
I'd really like to but I'm not sure how to do it!
Could somebody point me in the right direction please? Bit of a Luddite, like...
If you click on Drakeygirl's name
then the contact tab, you can send her a message. She'll sort the rest (she is rather splendid).
Many thanks Katy,
will do that now.
Just bung a picture of Johnny Depp in...
Very similar.
yep thats me
7 down 1 across. Taken at Massive London drinks late last year methinks.
Actually this montage would make a good LP sleeve. Maybe a concept album called "The Massive" about salt of the earth rock fans getting over debt ridden economically depressed Britain by blathering about good quality music (mainly the old stuff) over lots of beer in a Euston pub. Who would compose a work like that? Track listing:
Nice to meet you in the flesh
A gin with Ice?
Another blogger at the bar Pt One
The Happiest threads of our lives
Another blogger at the bar Pt two
Mother (do you think they read The Word?)
Empty glasses
Comfortably pissed
Drink like hell
and so on
PS I'll be at the O2 Arena this Sunday
Haven't you forgotten...
...Ellen Wheels
...Hep, Hep And Away
...Achey Drakey Heart
...For Andrew Collins, Jeffrey And Me
...Mossman In Hammersmith Palais
...Captain Underpants & The Brown Dirt Cowboy
...er, I think I'll stop there...I've inadvertently tripped into something scatalogical...
Oh, cheers
I look like a fish on a hook. Unfortunately that shot has caught my bad side, ie the front.
Rather the front...
... than the back side.
Captain, my Captain
Please point me in the direction of a better photo - or email me one, and I will transform you from gormless to handsome in a flash.
What!
There's only room for one Handsome.
Hell's teeth....
...is that *three* chins? I am staring down the end of a barrel. Although it is probably a biscuit barrel. Self-inflicted...natch(3 down 10 across)
EDIT:Thanks for the editing skills!! More like the real me...
Eagerly anticipating the Ultimate Massive Montage now...
with all the lovely, new additions in all their glory (me included!). I'm enjoying trying to work out who's who which is admittedly pretty difficult when I haven't met any of you before; just deciphering the clues here & there.
Top marks Drakeygirl, this is a splendid, thoughtful idea.
I'm the miserable looking one...
8d 3a.
I must learn to smile before turning on the video camera!
11d 3a
- me 'n' Victor.
I think there musta
bin an auld bald fat bloke avec facial hair flagged as being me in your selection Mrs. Girl.
I normally look and dress this way...
I know what you mean, James -
I lent that Catherine Middleton my face and body for her wedding, and the bitch hasn't returned them yet.
Ooh. Sorry.
I was supposed to pass them back when I'd finished with them.
I hope
you haven't stretched them.
Whatever do you mean
by that?!
My face looks longer than normal...
... I blame my phone!
I'm 6Down 5Across
Jaysus, I sound like a crossword puzzle.
Fantastic work drakeygirl
2a/2d
??! :-(
Nope, not made the team again, this is bringing back such bad memories!
Send me a pic
and I'll put you in!
sent you a link via email
hope that works. thanks
Ello', I'm Art
9d, 3a
Thanks Drakey, that's a lot of work there.
Right, okay, let's stop fooling around here...
...it's only May but I think we all know we have 2011's 'poster of the year' and her epic creation, in this post of the year, the, er, 'poster of the year'.
Art paper reproductions in fine frames are no doubt going up in Heppo and Ellen's sumptuous lounges even as we speak, with casually rehearsed anecdotes about three or four of the individuals therein ready at hand for dinner party conversation; a fully signed 'original' will be auctioned off in a Word-sponsored 'save the music industry' drive later in the year (we've needed futile gestures since Beyond The Fringe, after all); and BBC4 are already pencilling in a 50th anniversay documentary on the image for 2061 - the 21st Century 'Great Day In Harlem' - known to posterity as the 'Cyber Trip To Islington' aka 'The Word On The Tweet'.
It'll be presented by Paul Morley, from a bath chair, obviously, to a soundtrack by Glasgowvegas and the polemical thrust of 'How could one unprepossessingly bespectacled woman in the Newport Pagnel area be so atuned to the contemporary dialectics and possibilities of the post-millenial zeitgeist when, elsewhere in Britain at the time, people were listening to bilge like this... [cuts to really crappy Glasgowvegas performance from the now terribly quaint looking 'Later With Jools']'
Off topic
did you once re-review 'Here My Dear' for MM as a public apology after initially hating it? I always thought that was once of the most honest things I had seen in the music press.
No, must be someone else you're...
...thinking of. For two reasons: 1. I never wrote for MM (or any weekly music magazine) and 2. I've no idea what 'Here My Dear' is/was. I suspect someone will tell me soon enough, but either way I'll hold my hand up to it being a 'cultural blindspot'. I can be no more honest than that! :-)
it's Marvin Gaye's prog meisterwerk
I'm surprised you've not heard it Colin
I suppose the nature of time and memory...
...and indeed money is that there's only so much of each with which to play.
In terms of time and money, when I was writing for a living I was aware that it was a better use of my resources to become a sort of expert on some kinds of music and leave other areas of music to other people.
The extreme example of that is that I never owned music by Bob Dylan or the Beatles - but knew enough by 'osmosis' to get by. The logic being that if anyone wanted someone to write anything on either they'd get Mark Lewison or Clinton Heylin or Griel Marcus or somesuch... (I did once review Bob live, though, for a national newspaper - it didn't matter that I could barely recognise any of the songs, as none of the diehards could either.)
A less extreme example is that, while I may know lots about music that lots of people here have never heard of, I also know nothing about other music which might seem to be culturally iconic.
What can I say? There's only so much time in the world!
Memory is the other great leveller, though. I can say for certain that I've never heard this particular record we're talking about.... or at least I think I can! I say this because I received an email from an English musician last week thanking me for some great 'life advice' I apparently gave him in somebody's back garden in Galway some time in the 90s. Trouble is, I have literally no memory of the conversation or the context or indeed being in Galway ever with this musician. But I don't doubt it happened. Scary, isn't it?
Many apologies
Thought you were Colin Harper. A fine and interesting reply thanks for taking the time
Fake Colin?!
...no, no - I AM Colin Harper (or at least I used to be)!
I think you must be thinking of Colin Irwin, who DID write for MM back in the day. His day began earlier than mine. I didn't contribute to any national titles until 1989/90ish, and not professionally till 1994. Colin Irwin was writing for MM from, I think, the late 70s or early 80s.
Unless, of course, you're thinking of someone totally different again! :-)
Beautiful!
Can this be the cover of the Christmas issue of The Word?
I was unconvinced by
the idea from the thread whineging about this months cover that this site provides meaningful market research for the magazine but without coining a new Half Man Half biscuit title "1 in 3 Word readers look like Philip Larkin"
Hurrah!
That's me in the corner.
Presumably
Losing your religion...
Hurrah
That's me in another corner. Where's Patrick Swayze when you need him? (That sounded misleadingly camp.)
Ahem, yes, I'm 12d 9a. Eating a Shure-flavoured lolly.
Hurrah!
1D8A Which I will now be calling my "Star Wars Name." Sorry ladies, he's married!
9d 1a
The windswept side angle is a must!
11d2a
Nice shot from my Twitter profile. Just the three extra chins in that one!!!
From the bottom left hand corner
I'm 3 from the left and three up. I was stood next to Johnny Marr in the original photo but now some bloke's trying to nibble my ear.
Get orf.
Well I'm no Johnny Marr, but I am playing a guitar in that shot
and shouting backing vocals. Abusing, *not* nibbling ears :-)
I've tried to....
change my profile pic and upload a new one, but have had no joy! The pic is on my desktop and seems to be the right size. Every time I try to upload it I either get the W pic or else my old one just reappears! What am I doing wrong?!
No idea
Can you send me the image? fraser AT wordmagazine DOT co DOT uk.
Will do...
thanks!
Its not just you i'm finding
Its not just you i'm finding this too
Can you email it to me anyway
There's a space on my update with your name on it...
I haven't seen so little hair...
since the last meeting of the Right Said Fred fan club.
And that's
just the girls..........
Massive Member Montage
Wasn't that an HR Giger painting?
If you were buying that at a shop...
...would you get it at the Giger counter?
Right!
Anyone else wanna be in this thing?
Another update is on the way, so email me your pics through the Contact tab when you click on my profile page.
That's me, 12d 7a
& it was the end of a lovely, long, boozy day in Ambleside when that pic was taken.
By the way, who's 9d 8a? Looks like Anton Corbjin took your photo; nice...
I believe that's Tom...
(someone correct me if I'm wrong...)
Spotted!
I'm at 3 down 9 across (between Chris Evans and HRH Prince Andrew)
Just asI thought my admiration for Drakeygirl could go no higher
you do this. Mwah, mwah.
Blatant favouritism
Including Mr. Drakeygirl. Hang on though, he is truly a lovely feller and one of us now. We will really miss our southern visitors at the NW Massive Meets. That calls for a song...
WE ARE FAMILY...
I will repeat what I said last night on Twitter. "If Drakeygirl is not made a Dame in the next Queen's Honours List there is no justice in the world."
You're too kind, Beany.
To rule out any accusations of someone having to sleep with me to get their face in the montage, I have removed Mr Drakeygirl's picture and replaced it with the nice-looking Robbie1112.
(Actually I could have put Robbie in instead of Richie T (4d 11a), but look at Richie's cheeky little face. He had to stay, if only to act as a tiny wee troll).
Fight the Power rev. 2.0
Free the Drakeyman 1, now!
Celebrity Members
Impressed to see Alan Carr, Frankie Boyle, Stuart Sutcliffe, David Essex, and David Crosby are all part of the Massive..
Anymore for anymore?
Drakey you are a S.T.A.R
I can see
John Torode and Dr Fox (basically the same person anyway)
Geoff Boycott
Simon Mayo
George Galloway
Alan Partridge
Sue whatsit who played Sheila Corkhill
Clare Balding (though I think it might be a chap)
Paul Young
A fatter Sting with a goatee
At least one Tony 'Baldrick' Robinson
3rd row from bottom, the guy who used to run the BBC
Ian Curtis, or is that actually him?
Godber
That's
very hurtful Mr Barrowclough :-)
Dom Jolly, Ray Cooper.
Dom Jolly, Ray Cooper.
Whilst we are on look-alikes (or are they real?)
Greg Wallace
2 of Heston Blumenthal
Gareth Malone (him off the Choir)
Stuart Copeland
Tim Booth
Thanks for squeezing me in as the pickup between two pluckers - I can do a middling 50Hz hum at best
That's Made My Day.
Thanks for putting me in. Much appreciated.
Thanks
for the addition, a truly marvellous sight to behold (not me obviously) but the whole montage.
6d1a
Part of the Elite now!
*fluffs ego frantically*
Careful, now.
Too much frantic self-fluffing will make you go blind.
Who said that? C'mmon? Where are you?
Hey, Massive
I've got some fabulous faces lined up waiting forlornly for their lovely mugs to be displayed, but I just need a few more faces to complete another column.
Any of you shy, retiring types out there want to provide a mugshot? Email me through the contact tab on my profile page if you do. G'wan, g'wan...
Where, for example...
...is Helena Handcart....? I think we should be told...
Like Earl Sweatshirt (from the much hyped Odd Future)
I believe Helena is currently at a training camp for delinquent youths in Samoa.
Or she could just be busy. Who knows?
I've figured it out...
...Samoa is an anagram of Osama... Helena Handcart is an anagram of The Canard Halen... so I can reveal that, in fact, Helena Handcart is really a sinister fundamentalist who's plotting to destroy America with a mediocre Van Halen covers band...
As for Earl Sweatshirt - that just HAS to be an anagram of something...
I've updated the montage.
See the original post.
Where's The Candyman?
.
He can be added to the next row
When I get a few more volunteers...
Although he's not been on here much since his return to health and back to work...
Red alert!
In the interests of fairness, and particularly as it's such a scary photo of a bloke with laser red eyes, I should point out that row 4 pic 2 is Vince Black, and not Red Umpire as stated. I should imagine he is relieved at the news
I just spotted the picture of RT. Nice touch!
And my shame at the mistake is even more palpable
because I've met you!
I can't edit the key, but I shall make a polite request to our digital supremo Fraser to amend the details.
After a tough 4 month
After a tough 4 month selection process I finally made the team. (5th row down far right above the goat)
That's yer lot
I've now squeezed in as many members as I can. *stop sniggering*
Thanks to everyone who sent me a pic, and apologies to those who were snapped at mingles and had no choice in the matter!