Having gone through this process three times with my own children I'm convinced about one thing.

We worry far too much about schooling.

The only concern should be, is my child going to be happy here? Does the school feel right? Is there a nice vibe? Do the current crop of pupils look pleased to be there?

A child's education is a partnership between school and parent. The most academically driven schools are worthless if home support is not there. Conversely, some quality one to one time at home can more than compensate for any perceived failings in the local primary.

Go with your gut feel and dont fall into the trap of assuming that private education means better education. If the child is happy, loved and supported they will have every chance of achieving great things no matter what the educational system does to get in the way.

...as bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and über-supportive as possible. If the Catholic schools in my borough are anything to go by, they'll want to know:

- why you're choosing a Catholic school. Have a solidly faith-based answer prepared - you want your child's education to be solidly rooted in your own faith, you want him to feel part of the wider Church community from the off, you want his learning to take place in the context of Catholic beliefs, values and ethos. All that good stuff.

- how you plan to support your boy's learning and development (again with the Catholic context stuff, but also more generally). They might want to hear about what he likes and is good at;

- whether you can support the school in its work (volunteering, fundraising etc);

- whether you attend Mass (they may know that already, but might ask anyway).

Hope that helps. Got to say, your accent won't hurt, Vorgs. ;-)

Those two nuggets are just what I needed to stop freaking out and actually be able to concentrate at work today! Pints owed...

who went to Catholic primary & secondary schools, attended mass every Sunday until 13, was an alter boy between 8 & 12, had a father that was both a catholic primary school teacher and (clearly before he met my mum) a Franciscan monk for 15 years, I just like to mention that my son goes to the local state Primary.

The only advice that I can give, from my own experience and others around me, is that the worry and dilemmas are at their worst prior to starting school than once they are in there.

The fact is none of us will know whether it's been the very best decision until it's too late (ie after GCSEs) and then parental guilt and regret will properly kick in. I think that one of the reasons people choose private education is to mitigate that risk of regret. That is why when kids underachieve at private school, the child is blamed for not working hard enough; at state school (be it Catholic or otherwise), the school is criticised for kids' underachievement.

I started a blog ages ago on this site which received some fabulous tales and experiences recalled. Search under "education education education" and you will have some enjoyable reading. You are not alone!

Agree with all the above. Remember as Bob says a Catholic school will be big on community - they will want to see supportive parents.

One other thing though, don't be too down if he doesn't get in. I have experience of teaching at pretty much every level of education and one thing I have observed everywhere I have been is that although it is good for kids to go to a school with a strong academic ethos, they will pretty much succeed wherever they go as long as they have a supportive family who encourages them in their school work.

I'm a bit surprised you have been called in for an interview as the school admissions code specifically prohibits this for maintained schools (which I am assuming this is). I imagine they'll reframe it as 'oh, we like to have a chat with all our prosective parents' but just be wary of them using is as a covert way to cherry pick which pupils they want to admit and which they don't. If you feel that something dodgy is going on you should contact the Schools Adjudicator.

The section of the code in questions says,

"1.52 Section 88A of the SSFA 1998 prohibits the interviewing of parents and/or children as a method for deciding whether a child is to be offered a place at a school. Interviews must not form part of the admissions process and admission authorities must not use either face-to-face interviews or interviews by telephone or other means. Open days, meetings to discuss options, and other events for prospective parents and children are not affected (see paragraph 1.75)."

(SSFA is the School Standards and Framework Act).

Section 1.75 says,

1.75 The use of interviews in school admission arrangements is unlawful (see paragraphs 1.52and 1.53). Staff and governors are encouraged to meet parents at open evenings and on other occasions, but information gained in this way must not play a part in the admission decision-making process. Admission authorities must ensure that information about the school and how to apply including application forms are readily available to all potential applicants. Schools must not require parents to attend the school in person in order to collect an application form and must not require parents to return the completed application form to the school. Attendance at an open evening or other meeting at the school must not be a condition for the allocation of a place.

If you want you can download and read the whole code at http://www.dcsf.gov.uk/sacode/codesandregulations.shtml. Of course if it's not a maintained school all the above may not apply, but even academies are obliged to have regard to the code so I'd be surprised.

It's been my experience that it is not at all uncommon for faith schools to act as if they are above the law, which may work for you on admissions matters but could come back to bite you if your child ever needs any extra support with his learning, is bullied or (like many kids) does something daft at some point and ends up in trouble.

An organisation called ACE does excellent free advice for parents about just this kind of issue and you can download their booklet on applying for a school and appealing (if your application is unsuccessful you have a right of appeal - though on limited grounds for reception, year 1 & 2 pupils - from their website. They also have an excellent free helpline: 0808 800 5793 and would be hapy to talk it over with you or explain the appeals process if necessary further down the line.

Martin makes eminently sensible points above though and you'd do well to follow his advice. There's a lot of rubbish talked about schools and I'd advise you not to pin all your hopes on just this one but visit all the others, see them with your own eyes and make your own mind up. Things like a good supportive ethos, effective anti-bullying policies and inclusive ways of teaching are often much more important than some of the stuff that tends to get focussed on. Of course the league tables, OfStED reports etc are all there for you to look at too so you have th efull picture, but don't just go on what friends and neighbours have told you. A new Head in post can bring a quick turnaround in performance that those who attended say 18 months earlier might not be up to speed with. As Martin says though, if you are engaged, supportive parents it's almost completely certain that your little one will do well wherever he ends up.

Can't offer any advice, but will be keeping my fingers crossed for you.

xx

Don't wear your favourite 'Fuck' T-shirt.

In answer to the qs posted above, it's technically an 'Informal chat' - but I'm sure they're just covering themselves.
I'll post again afterwards. Cheers massive!

Are you a Catholic Vorgongod? Did you go to Mass for a full year just to get your child into a good school? As a Catholic who lives in a place where being one could get you shot I find it offensive that someone would use the Church just to get their child into a good school. Is there another child from a less advantageous background going to lose out here?
I might have got the wrong end of the stick here and if so I apologise Vorgongod

...give the guy a break.
Vorgs, you probably have a head start with your qualifications, but just remember the key phrase "That would be an ecumenical matter". Fingers crossed matey.

My Grandad was a Congregational minister and so my Dad got a place at an excellent maintained boarding school with strong links to the church.
Sadly, this solution rarely works in the Catholic church.

I have no advice to offer, but I hope it all works out for you all

Don't mention your name Vorgongod!

My daughter has just started secondary school. My wife and I had hoped that we could get her into the local Sutton Coldfield Grammar school for girls allegedly one of the best of its kind in the country. Sadly she failed the entrance exam and my wife was bitterly disappointed. I took a more philosophical line ie. I wouldn't have wanted to see her struggle at the lower end of a class having only just scraped in. In the end it worked out fine or actually much better than fine. She is flying now, really enjoying school and has received 5 student of the week/month awards since September in different subjects. She is with her friends, she is doing extra maths tuition which is the subject that was letting her down and she is really striving to excel at everything she does.An earlier post suggested that parent input and love and support at home is key - it sounds like your boy has this in abundance. I think he has a pretty good start in life. Good luck whatever happens.

Nice to see that sanity has returned.

I always suspect that we place far too much emphasis on the influence of education and not enough on the influence of the parents.

Friends of mine from school have gone on to become partners in City law firms, directors of major retail companies, senior naval officers, HR directors for City firms and much more. These are the lads who went to university. Two lads are now retired, sittting on many millions. They became builders.

I went to an arse-end comprehensive. No kids from my year went to Oxbridge.

Love and support your kids, talk to them, read to them.

And let them make up their own mind as regards religion.

No child is born religious.

but good luck with the interview, I´m sure you´ll do fine.
Me, I´m going to educate my kid the Homer Simpson way
" Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and with the internet and TV , they practically raise themselves ".