Madonna bids for Most Stupid crown
Like all rich residents of central London Madonna is fed up with the congestion charge and doesn't like the Tubes either. Well, boo-hoo. But now she's trying to dress her annoyance up as concern for the young. Not only does she think young musicians shouldn't have to pay the congestion charge but she doesn't think they should pay taxes at all.
This suggests that she's far enough removed from reality that she thinks that those young blokes wandering the streets with Hoxton fins and guitar cases strapped to their backs actually make enough money from their would-be profession to actually pay any taxes but also she believes that society should be organised in such a way that the Pete Dohertys of this world should enjoy economic benefits not open to people starting out as nurses or teachers or ambulance drivers or, hang it all, even hacks.
I have a feeling that this may qualify for inclusion in a top ten list of the most stupid things ever said by a pop star. What are the other candidates?
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This may be an urban myth, but...
...didn't Mariah Carey once say something along the lines of, "I look at those starving African children and wish I was skinny like them, except without all the flies and death and stuff"?
Mariah could write a ten volume treatise on stupidity...
this being the woman that refused to go on air at VH1 until a lackey had been dispatched to fetch her some newborn puppies to stroke during her interview.
Barking...
Yes, it's an urban myth
And a particularly depressing one. Not because it's unfair on Mariah Carey - hey, she's a star; she can take it - but because hacks at, ahem, respectable publications everywhere, from The Independent to The San Francisco Chronicle, picked it up and printed it as kosher without checking the source: a mock interview on a satirical website. Oops.
The full, miserable story here:
http://www.snopes.com/quotes/carey.asp
Perpetuity
Bill Bryson also mentions it in one of his books, clearly under the impression that it is completely true. I think it was his collection of newspaper columns Notes From a Big Country. (It may have been corrected in later editions).
Call me old school, but. . .
when people writing in supposedly serious publications toss out allegations to the detriment of somebody's reputation, what happened to following the source trail to make sure they're actually true? It's not as if it's even all that difficult any more. I Googled on "mariah skinny africa children" and found that Snopes article in a matter of seconds.
(Bill Bryson is always a fun read but unfortunately he seldom lets the facts get in the way of good one-liner. His book on the English language, for example, is chock a block with schoolboy myths and kneejerk wrong assumptions.)
Oh...
I never thought for a second it might not have been true. Sorry Mariah.
But you're still a warbling head vacuum.
Shaddap you face
Most stupid things ever said by a pop star? This could become the longest thread of all time. Here are some random goofs that come to mind:
"I'm a bisexual man who's never had a homosexual experience".
-Brett Anderson, Suede.
"All melodies to me were pure embarrassment" - Thom Yorke, Radiohead. Yes, I know I've taken it out of context, but even so...
Whatever it was that Vanessa Paradis said after being arrested when her drug stash fell out of her passport at the airport some years ago. Seasoned drug smugglers will advise that the passport is the last resort as a hiding place for one's supply.
I quite liked
Bert's 'Bisexual' comment. It was certainly more interesting than what most indie bands of the time were coming out with, and was quite a sweet way of apeing his idol, David Bowie.
However, there was another interview I remember which was right in the middle of his coked off his nut period, where he claimed the future of music was a half man half antelope creature called Jacinta or somesuch. That was pretty stupid.
Anderson's comment...
...prompted Suede's openly gay drummer - Simon Gilbert - to claim that he was a bisexual man who had never had a heterosexual experience.
Fatuous Bono Dim
Bono once referred to Blair and Brown as the John (Lennon) and Paul (McCartney) of 'global development. Well, I mean, really!
Racist Elvises
I heard someone say that the current Word mag cover star once bizarrely branded Ray Charles a 'blind, ignorant nigger'. Does anyone know the context of that massively insensitive, biggotted blunder?
Another Elvis - he who owed his entire career to black southern bluesmen - once apparently said that black people were only good for 'shining shoes'.
Is there any truth to either of these, or are all Racist Elvis stories apocryphal?
Costello
There's a Greil Marcus Rolling Stone interview that covers it. Costello claims he was drunkenly, deliberately trying to say the most offensive thing he could to his drinking partners.
The event is described at the foot of this page, with Costello's explanation on the next.
If I remember correctly....
....this incident caused him to write(as a sort of apology?) "Accidents Will Happen".
The Ray Charles one
I seem to remember that a fist fight between the Attractions and Bonnie Raitt's band ensued after he said that. The Elvster later claimed he was being provocatively ironic, or something. Although this was also the period when he was allegedly ingesting vast quantities of hooter sherbet with Liv Tyler's mum on his arm, so anything is possible.
Bonnie Bramlett, apparently,
has a good right hook.
Another one. . .
for the "Twinning" thread!
Steve Stills
Was that the same occasionwhere Steve Stills intervened and EC told him to "fuck off steel nose" prompting right hook from Ms Bramlett?
That's the one.
Biff.
Hmm
Wasn't this the same Madonna who appeared at Live Earth. May be if she didn't spend all her time make sure we all know who she is she'd be able to get on the bus from time to time. Also what's the point of giving young musicians tax breaks if the moment they earn any money they piss off to switzerland. It'd be interesting to see where Madonna pays tax it could that the few quid from the C-Charge and parking meters is the only cash we get out of her.
Excuse me for being so provincial
but what the feck are "Hoxton fins"?
Phew
So it's not just me then.
It's a variation
Of the Fauxhawk.
Cheers Fraser
I hadn't realised that "looking like a twat" had so many officially recognised variants.
A...
great line. 6.45am and I'm laughing.
Our Lady of Lourdes
How did Our Lady of Lourdes know to call Livingstone Red Ken (his tablopid nickname circa 1981)? Maybe she was nobbled by Boris Johnson to say such daft stuff. And what the **** would she know about the tube? Oh and musicians did used to get support - it was called art college and a student grant!
Depeche Mode
It's a bit of an early noughties description really (they are more likely to have Nu-rave messed up gel look probably). As you can see from the podcast photos the senior word staff aren't up to date when it come to tonsorial matters!! (says the man who has had the same hair cut since he was 16);)
It seems to me
that these tonsorial styles have less to do with a good cut than finding a use for selected waste products of the petroleum industry.
hoxton fin
i believe the hoxton fin was sported by fran from travis around the time of the man who album so i doubt its considered trendy around those parts now,unless its being worn in an ironic fashion which is possible for those nathan barley types..
'It was for research purposes for a book I am writing'
Pete Townshend
The Townshend case...
...prompted my sister to ask - on our way to see The Who a couple of years ago - "Do you think they'll do Fiddle About?"
I saw them at the Albert Hall
On one of the Teenage Cancer Trust gig - Townsend made a speech thanking his fans for backing him up through the paedophile scandal.
The speech came between, and I am not making this up, the songs 'The Kids Are Alright' and 'Real Good Looking Boy'.
Now THAT is genius in action.
Funny how..
..that book has still yet to hit the shelves.
Nessa from "Gavin and Stacey"....
" and all I said was...'Where's the book?'"
Genius!
Lee Ryan is a genius
After 11/9 he made the comment;
"Who gives a fuck about New York when whales and elephants are being killed?"
Also, I vaguely remember that in an interview the bloke behind chart non-botherers Babylon Zoo said that he was so intelligent because he had a extra gene.
elephants/9/11
right comment,wrong idiot,it was lee ryan from blue,jesus i wish i didnt know that fact..
ryan
sorry,just realised you said it was lee ryan,whos the idiot now etc...
babylon zoo
im sure his comment was in an interview on brasseye with the mighty chris morris..
"A big hello...
...to all of our fans in Ethiopia."
Attributed to Steve Norman of the official Worst Band in History, Spandau Ballet, as a proposed message on the B-side of the Band Aid single. I do hope it's not another apocryphal tale.
Didn't Britney
once say: "I go to lots of overseas places...like Canada."
And you've got to hand it Suzanne Shaw (not technically a pop star any more, but she was in hear'Say, so cut me some slack) for her recent comment.
When asked who she thought would win between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, she replied:
"I have to be honest, I have never heard of either of those two people."
Barack, maybe, but how can she have not heard of Hillary Clinton?
Shawo
At the height of Hear'say mania I had the pleasure of meeting Susan Shaw. The lights were on but no one, but no one was in.
If you looked into her eyes you could see the back of her skull.
Just thought of another one
During the recording of "We Are The World" Stevie Wonder suggested doing one of the verses in Swahili. It was Geldof who told him that in Ethiopia they spoke Amharic and were about as likely to understand Swahili as the good people of Cleckheaton.
i would pay good money
to hear what Geldof *actually* said...expletives'n'all like!
Is that really so stupid?
Do you have a comprehensive knowledge of which language(s) is(are) spoken in every African country at your "fingertips" (sorry, couldn't resist)? At least, to his credit, Stevie Wonder thought it was worth making some effort to connect the project to the people it was purporting to help.
Could Geldof have pointed to Ethiopia on a map before he started Band Aid? I doubt it. And does this story - which aggrandises him by belittling someone else - emanate from sources close to Geldof by any chance?
I don't think there's any truth...
...to that Elvis Presley rumour- I'm surprised it still does the rounds when I'm sure it was ascertained that the interview had never taken place as Elvis had never even been to the place where the interview supposedly happened. His backing vocalists The Sweet Inspirations and even people who knew him like James Brown have all gone on record as saying that they'd never have said Elvis was racist.
There's more on that 'shoe shine' rumour here:
http://www.elvisinfonet.com/racism_falserumor_3.html
Indeed, I'm sure there's an interview where he acknowledges that black musicians were doing his sort of music before he was, and on that Million Dollar Quartet session he's gushing over hearing Jackie Wilson singing 'Don't Be Cruel'.
I think Eric Clapton's on-stage outburst about Enoch Powell being right must be up there in the 'dumbest' category. He was still dodging the issue when I watched him interviewed on the South Bank Show- has he ever apologised for that??
Sir Paul Macca's dumbest moment...
...."I do." ????
Billie Jean
The "pop star" H from Steps asked Jermaine Jackson live on Celebrity Big Brother if his brother Michaels song "Billie Jean" was about "the tennis player Billie Jean King". The thought of Billie Jean King accusing Michael Jackson of fathering her child is mind blowing. How Jermaine Jackson kept a straight face I'll never know.
Oddly enough, though
Billy Jean King did "inspire" a famous pop song: Philadelphia Freedom by Elton John. It was the name of Billie Jean King's tennis team (which also included the infamous Buster Mottram) and she and Elton were pals. He was, and still is, a keen tennis player and played in some pro-am exhibition game for them. The song's nothing to do with tennis but that's where the title comes from.
Avril Lavigne...
I distinctly remember that when she first emerged little Avril informed all and sundry that she was a "punk". Legend has it someone subsequently called her bluff and asked her to name her favourite Sex Pistols song and she said, "Who are the Sex Pistols?"
Dame Third Reich
Was it not the Thin White Dame who said "I think Britain would benefit from a fascist dictator" Drugs were blamed obnov.
And through evil came forth sweetness of a sort; Eric Clappo (another who`d be fooked without `non caucasian` blues musicians)bigging up Enoch Powell in Brum mid seventies prompting Rock against Racism (it was thirty years ago today etc) and subsequently Gobby Poet Ruffian Wylie and the venerable Mr Du Noyer inventing the `Race against Rockism`
Chris Martin calling Craig David `cauliflower head` which was so quickly PR`d away from public consumption that it is almost an urban myth.
Ian Brown - Romans and Greeks are to blame for dirty homos.
Crispin "I`d like flaming swastikas" Mills.
Plus anything that pissweasel Johnnny Borrel said about deserving champagne for his talent whilst Bob Dylan was eating soggy chips for his. Johnny Borrel? Johnny Fuckpuppet more like.
The prize for most stupid must be Kelly from Stereophonics. Write a terrible song called `Mr Writer` about rock journos and how he`d like to "shoot you all" and then bemoan the fact that no rock journo likes Stereophonics anymore. Hmm...
Chrissie Hynde......
.....said she would firebomb McDonalds in an interview.
Next day somebody did!
My favourite quote..
..is from an interview with The Cure's Robert Smith around 1985 when the subject of Madonna came up. Smith's response was:
"What does Madonna know? I hate her. She looks like she stinks."
I cut that quote out, photocopied it, enlarged it and stuck it on my wall.
Bowieballs
On playing with Tin Machine:
"At the risk of sounding pompous, I guess I would align it with deconstructionism. The point made by the French in the Sixties that we are working our way towards a society that is deeply involved with hybridization and contradictory information almost to the point where contradiction simply ceases to exist..."
Neil Young in this month's Mojo
"If I'm not doing music... I'm working on other projects. I'm currently really involved in finding a fuel source. That's something that is fascinating to me. I really think that the key to making the biggest contribution to the world is not a song. I think it's a fuel source. If the people had their own fuel and anybody could get anywhere, that would be fantastic."
No need to worry about the fuel crisis any longer, folks. And anyone involved in serious scientific research in this field needn't bother anymore. Neil Young's on the case.
I won't bother unpicking the arrogance, conceit, sanctimoniousness etc. of this statement. It speaks for itself.
Does it really
matter what Madonna thinks anymore? She thinks that students and musicians shouldnt pay congestion zoning and tube fares but wants them to pay £100 plus to see her mime on stage??
Get a grip on reality you little twerp. By the way your new single is crap - no change there then.
Also, on the Clapton matter I dont know the full text of either the Enoch Powell speech or indeed the response from EC but my understanding was that Enoch Powell was warning of the dangers of unchecked immigration rather than being racist. The Toxteth and Handsworth riots are a vindication of his comments if indeed this is what he was saying and likewise the current problems with Yardies and gun/knife crime is part of the same issue. Unfortunately the PC society we live in prevents us from making comments about such matters without being termed racist. At present the level of immigration in this country is not a real problem because of the high levels of employment - if unemployment rockets again as is distinctly possible given current economic indicators then it will become an issue.
Oh dear oh deary me
I was gently and happily reading this blog when I came across Steves entry above.....and I couldn't let it pass....so I will rant just briefly and sorry to be so serious on a comedic thread...
Enoch Powell knew very well what he was saying when he made the rivers of blood speech, and it made the lives of black people in this country immeasurably worse in that it gave racism a veneer of respectability. The tories, quite rightly disowned him and he was cast out into the political wilderness where he thankfully remained.
You want to read more about Powell and his impact then go to http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2008/feb/24/race
Let us not forget the 70's were a time when the likes of Bernard Manning and Jim Davidson were given shows on national TV - the kind of "pre-PC" shows that were such a laugh, if you were a fat, anglo saxon heterosexual.
To say that the riots in Toxteth and Handsworth were a vindication of Powells world view, and he was in some way some kind of prophet, is way off beam. The riots had nothing to do with racist policing (the infamous SUS laws), terrible social conditions and institutionalised racism then?
And to carry on - "the current problems with Yardies and gun/knife crime" is caused by immigration is incredibily simplistic. The current problems are to do with the increased ghettoisation of parts of London, where young black kids grow up feeling they have no way out, forgotton by the rest of society and the reasons are a lot more complex than Steve makes out.
The only thing Steve is right about is that if the economic situation gets worse then racism will be on the up. (Oh and I agree who cares what Madonna thinks).
And poor Eric, smacked out in Birmingham, making those dumb remarks about Powell whilst having built a career out of black music.
Rock Against Racism was set up to combat these ignorant outbursts back in 77, when the hard right was making inroads electorally and has been resurrected for the same reasons now. And quite rightly so.
Dumb Question
I remember in my mispent (frequently) childhood watching "Ask Aspel" with Michael Aspel on BBC1 Friday afternoons.
One of the shows had an up and coming artist by the name of Kate Bush. He asked a question to her.
"Kate what inspired you to write Wuthering Heights?"
She looked if my hazy memory serves somewhat bemused.
What about.....?
"Biggerthan Jesus"?
Or, "We can't be bothered to meet the President of the Phillipines"?
Or almost anything ever said by Phil Collins?
Bigger than Jesus
Lennon actually said 'More popular than Jesus' and apparently was taken out of context, he also said he though christianity and rock n roll would end soon, not sure which first. Was not really stupid, pretty smart in fact I think. I admit I had to edit my original comment after I looked it up!
Kelly Brook..
..interviewing The Corrs on The Big Breakfast. Her first question to them: "So, how did you all meet?"
Two sheets to the wind
Wasn´t it Sheryl Crowe who advised us to only use two sheets of Toilet Paper when in the little boy´s room ? I know the point she´s trying to make butt.......
Jools' jewels
And didn't Mr. Holland ask a puzzled Mick Jones and Paul Simonon about the chances of a Clash reunion, some two years after Joe Strummer's death?
Ah, Jools Holland...
...there have been some right clangers dropped in his interviews! I remember vividly a few years ago he was interviewing a singer who knew and I think played with Django Reinhardt, and asked the singer 'how is he' referring to Django! The poor old singer could only reply somewhat haplessly, 'well, he's dead'! A recent interview with REM's Michael Stipe was equally cringeworthy.
The Captain
Apparently Captain Beefheart once said " There are only 10 people in the world and three of them are hamburgers." A statement so stupid it almost makes it all the way round the corner to being clever. Almost but not quite.
hamburger
Stupid??? Nah speaking as one of the hamburgers, I know its true