Entertainment For Lively Minds
Lowest quality Pop Star names?
Posted by Austin on 29 August 2010 - 11:01pm.
Just thinking about rRussell Bell (sic) from the New Romantic band, Dramatis. That crazy little 'r' makes all the difference there...
While New Romanticism will be fertile ground, I did see a punk on the London Weekend Show in the 1970s called Johnny Rubbish, which was also an incredibly poor effort.
And swinging over to metal now, was Motorhead's drummer really called Phil(thy) Animal Taylor? Boooo!
There must be many, many more. Surely.
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Courtney Taylor-Taylor
from the Dandy Warhols. WTF?
Didn't Jethro Tull
Have Jeffrey Hammond Hammond?
There was a punk act (never sure whether it was a solo or a band) called Rubber Johnny.
Heard Johnny Rhythm playing with the HJHs today.
Likewise
Garry Gary Beers, bassist from INXS.
He probably thought it looked/sounded exotic/cool.
Meanwhile, the entire world went "huh?"
Vernon Dudley Bohay-Nowell
Although strictly speaking his real name is just Vernon Dudley.
Edit. I take it back. Great name for a member of the Bonzos.
Argos quality!?
Taking this question somewhat literally, i'd have to say Eddie Argos from Art Brut. But his is intentionally shit, so ultimately rather brilliant.
I've never been entirely happy with one word sobriquets
like Suggs.
Sorry Nutty Boys fans, but it sounds moronic and just plain naff.
Actually the same could apply to most other members of Madness.
Every little helps?
Nicky Tesco from The Members. Possibly not his given name...
Jokes on 45?
In a similar vein, i'd like to nominate Donny Tourette (Big Brother clown and Towers Of London person) and Faris Rotter of The Horrors, both more than a lttle in debt to J Rotten, but probably knowingly so - does this make it alright though?
Nothing...
...makes Donny Tourette alright. Him and his "band" are probably the biggest set of twunts ever to call themselves a rock band.
Faris Rotter gets a pass for making a pretty good last record.
Label names
I always remember a review - though I forget where it appeared - of the single Money (That's Your Problem) by the power-pop band Tonight, they of Drummer Man fame, in 1978. With a catalgoue entry of Target TDS2, it read: "TDS. Very tedious."
FM ?
The keyboard player from English big hair melodic rockers FM was called Didge Digital if I remember correctly. He had very short hair and tried to portray the "futuristic" look back in the Eighties.
Surely 'The Edge'...
has there ever been a more cringeworthy stage name?
Probably not
but 'Bono' comes close
After his recent tumble, I
After his recent tumble, I doubt Bono will go close to the edge again.
My best mate...
...is the Edge. No he's not. But he does have a funny story about him.
So a friend of his was invited to a swank party (being peripherally involved in the business of show) and this guy's girlfriend - who was a huge U2 fan - found herself suddenly confronted with U2's perma-beanied axe-botherer.
"Hello, I'm The Edge," said he.
"What?" said she, completely starstruck beyond rational speech.
"Hello, I'm The Edge."
"Er, what?" (By now she's completely lost herself)
"I'm. The. Edge."
"What?"
"I'm Dave." [he runs away, mortified]
When you think about it
some of us are on very shaky ground here, what with our "wacky" usernames, like
Agreed
Me especially
That's just
a ridiculous name! What on earth were you thinking? ;-)
Yngwie...
Malmsteen.
Thor.
That's kind of
his real name.
He Anglicised his Swedish given name of Yngve to Yngwie and took his mother's maiden name of Malmsten and changed it slightly to Malmsteen.
Still, crazy name, crazy guy!
Yes, it is his real name...
but that doesn't mean it isn't ridiculous.
Sorry
I didn't realise this was a "let's laugh at foreigners" thread ;-)
Gaye Bikers On Acid singer
Mary Mary.
Mind you, everything about them was low quality, so hardly a surprise.
I loved the Bykers
back in the day. I still have a VHS copy of the Drill Your Own Hole movie they blew their Virgin advance making. One of them went by the name Robber DaOfflicence I remember. And the guitarist was Tony.
Fellow Leicester grebsters Crazyhead also went in for pseudonyms the guitairst was Transatlantic Fast Green Dick. ACtually the East Mids was a hotbed for that sort of thing. Zodiac Mindwarp was from Leicester too I think. And then you had Lawnmower Deth hailing from Notts with various lawn-related monikers...
don't forget
on the bass for Crazyhead - Pork Beast!
I loved GBOA at the time and I also have the Drill vid, their second album 'Stewed to the Gills' still sounds good. I think Grebo was too easily dismissed even with the genius that was Pop Will Eat Itself, they still sound magnificent!
I still like the Bykers stuff
especially up to and including Stewed to the Gills. The Jon Langford produced Everythang's Groovy and the Nosedive EP (on which they cover a song out of an episode of Star Trek) are both great. (I like daft bands.)
The over-production on the Desert Orchid album spoiled Crazyhead's best moments. But as a trio of opening singles the original garagey versions of What Gives you the Idea You're so Amazing Baby?, Baby Turpentine, and Time Has Taken Its Toll On You are pretty difficult to beat.
Imagination's
Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee John.
Martin Degville
Less 21st Century Rocket Boy, more trainee bank clerk from Chiswick.
Derek...
Smalls.
Rikki Rockett
of Poison
It's nothing to do with quality
but as a writer it's always bugged me somewhat when musicians decide to change, amend or extend their names, mid-career.
A few culprits spring to mind:
Fairport Convention's Ian McDonald became Ian Matthews, who in turn begat Iain Matthews.
Davy Graham became Davey for a while and then decided he preferred Davy after all.
Then there are the religious inspired changes:
Jim McGuinn turned into Roger
John McLaughlin added Mahavishnu to his name while
Santana became Devadip Carlos Santana.
R.G.D. Willis
Didn't top Warwickshire fast bowler chappie Bob Willis (Robert George Willis) take the extra middle name of Dylan because he was such a fan of Mr Zimmerman, becoming in the process Robert George Dylan Willis?
Less admirably
John Winston Lennon became
John Ono Lennon
and not forgetting...
Kur(d)t Cobain and Kris(t) Novoselic. Dave Grohl seemingly avoided the temptation to give himself "Rocken" as a middle name.
Nicely done!
I like your style sir!
Thank you kindly
That was my first ever post!
This is my second
Snake Pliskin
Apollo Creed, Keyser Soze, Holden Caulfield, Travis Bickle and Johnny Utah. None of them are pop stars though, thus all are irrelevant to this thread. I just felt like naming names. I'll stop now.
According to the BBC
that feller who became Gary Glitter was going through the alphabet in reverse to come up with a suitable name. Terry Tinsel, Stanley Sparkle & Vicky Vomit were briefly in the frame. Positive we could come up with more name suitable now...
GG is better than the name used on an earlier single - Rubber Bucket.
Joe Brown
In his wisdom, managed to avoid being named Elmer Twitch.
I do feel
that within this nomenclature that choosing
Shorty Shit Stain
as your nom de musique has taken the art to a new zenith in the firmament.
DJs and MCs also seem acutely self-aware that many people think they're just a bunch of tossers and name themselves accordingly to reflect the low regard in which they are held. My personal favourite is
DJ Energy
because of its complete and utter banality as if his inspiration was from the privatisation of the utility sector.
I must confess to finding
DJ Booth
quite funny in a sniggering in the class room kind of way but honourable mention must go to:
DJ Scotch Egg
MC Donalds
Pubes (not DJ or MC, just the short and curlies)
Andy C (just makes you think he's only a record deck away from his true calling as a Kwik Fit mechanic in Barnsley)
DJ Vinyl Richie
The Norwegian
DJ Skatebård
Rat Scabies
As with getting a tattoo, when adopting a moniker it's always advisable to consider its implications a good way into the future. This is particularly true if you are destined to morph into a Gordon Strachan lookalike.
The same is true
for some of the metal bands with pretend scary names.
Following 9/11 and the attendant after-scares, who remembers thrash-meisters Anthrax back-pedalling furiously over their choice of name.
"We were only joking!" they spluttered.
He should have chosen a sensible name
(geddit?)
Whaddya mean 'morph' ?
Didn't he always look like Gordon Strachan ?
It was also the age of 'Sid Snot' though. And that bloke in London the rocking gynaecologist ? Hank Wangford was pretty daft.
Nicky Special?
..the time was right for him apparently.
Jello Biafra
not so much a singer as a sheep impersonator
Buster Bloodvessel
From Two Tone to a fat skinhead in a dress doing the can can. Terrible name.
Catfish Keith
is listed on the latest Jumpin' Hot Club gig list as being accompanied by Fishfinger Frank
And to get back to the original post in this thread. rRussell Bell? Is that sStringer from the wWire?
rRussell Bell
It was probably the most impotent attempt by a pop singer to create enigmatic distance from their audience. Which in Dramatis' case was about 3 people.
My other favourite, that I forgot to mention, was Pliers - from Chaka Demus and Pliers "fame". A friend used to make a point of referring to the band as "Chaka Demus and his mate, Pliers" - which was one of those things that causes more laughter than it deserves.
Bad Manners
Winston Bazoomies... Not sure if that is rubbish or genius, but it deserves a mention.
The Clash were just shit
And so was Joe Strummer's name.
I will
hear no calumny against that band or their monikers
Ramones anyone?
Stinky Turner
from The Cockney Rejects
Hovis Presley - Last of The Teenage Idols keyboard-ist
Bam Bam - Dogs D'Amour drummer
Qualcast "Koffee Perkulator" Mutilator - Lawnmower Deth singer
Honourable Mention: Fish (because he spent a lot of time in the bath (apparently))
Five,Four,Three,Two,One - Lift Off
Name of budding musician, changed from real name by Deed Poll, who was a customer when I worked at a building society in late 1970s. I had to do the change of name in his passbook and didn't bat an eyelid - much to 54321L-O's chagrin.
I love Scritti Politti
but Green Gartside?
Helen McCookerybook
... of the Chefs.
Howlin' Wilf
Was equally excellent yet ridiculous.
He's plain old James Hunter now and making records of great joyfulness.
Black
Did Colin Vearncombe want it to be his stage-name or was it a sort of Simply Red thing as per Mr Hucknall?
Drum roll.....
Let's hear it for...
H out of Steps!
Lidl Richard
.
Didn't he cover
Aldi and All Of the Night?
One there
for the Netto blaster. :D
..
Not forgetting, of course...
(pronounced "Freur")
Ariel Bender
and his real name was Luther Grosvenor, from Evesham
Genesis P Orridge
Was always far too contrived for me.
and
shite
Also, the original Stones line up was pretty prosaic
Bill, Brian, Charlie, Ian, Keith and Mick
And...
...I have never fully understood the "Keith Richard" bit. Or was that just a oft-made typo?
My mother still calls old bachelor boy "Cliff Richards".
Didn't Keith
add the "s" to avoid confusion with Cliff?
I read somewhere...
...that Keef's surname thing was Andrew Oldham's idea - he thought "Richard" was more rock n' roll than "Richards". Keef was never keen, IIRC. His birth name is definitely "Richards" - he changed it back in the 70s.
Similarly, poor old John Deacon out of Queen - the most put-upon man in rock - had to struggle under the fucking ridiculous moniker "Deacon John" at Darling Freddie's insistence for their first album.
Quirky spellings of mundane names
Wind me up more than they should. I'm talking to you, Nik Kershaw and Rik Waller.
I always thought
Poly Styrene was a bit lightweight
(Ithangyew. I'm here all week. etc)
quite a buoyant personality however...
...
She would always
crumble under pressure though
The swedish band Dag Vag
have had a lot of members through the years, all of them with a stupid alias.
The dumbest being
Bumpaberra
Per Cussion
Tage Dirty
and the worst
Kopp Te ( = Cup Of Tea ).
Mrs duco01 always tells me of the evening in 1980
when she saw Dag Vag and Rågsved punk band Ebba Grön supporting Elvis Costello and the Attractions at Eriksdalshallen in Stockholm. According to her, the 2 Swedish banks blew Elvis off stage. I find it hard to believe that the mighty EC & A were trounced by a bloke called Kopp Te...
You're sort of right
because Kopp Te didn't join the band until 1981...:)