some people see that decency in others is a weakness to be exploited. Time to move on.

At first I thought it wrong of you to pay up in full but at least by doing so he has no recourse to maintain contact.

What a gentleman you are; what a gentleman he isn't.

I believe you have behaved with dignity and patience throughout, and I cannot imagine anybody, except this ex-friend and his arrogant ilk, thinking any different.

Would you like to be my friend instead : - )?

Pay him and write off the friendship. We don't employ friends and family for this reason and I don't like it if a friend asks me to do a paying job for them as I feel more responsible for the end result than usual. In the Internet age, it is foolish to think that a client wouldn't already have a good idea of what was required and how much it costs. The fact that he tried to stitch you up over materials says a lot about him and his opinion of you. Sorry you had to find out this way.

side of the story.

and also wholeheartedly endorse the opinion of davebigpicture above. Never mix friendship with business.

..my mother purchased a car from her sister's son-in-law that was crap. When his underhandness came to light he claimed "well that's business." It was pointed out by many in no uncertain terms "No This is family/friendship and its a line you don't cross." You did well to keep your cool and he's lucky you didn't call police - they might not of been able to do anything but he'd be on their radar.

but I can see why you might want to do it this way. Either way, it's time for him to go.

Never employ a friend, never sell a car to a friend, never rent a property to a friend...

are the faults of your oldest friends. I suspect it is because their longevity in your life makes them an integral a part of your own view of yourself. That leaves it very difficult to question behaviour that, in more recent or causal acquaintances, would quickly get them binned.

Played like a gentleman sir, with appropriate dignity and dissapointment.

If it were me, I'd pay what he's asking for and then quietly cut off all further contact.

I had similar-ish with a friend years ago, who rented my flat. When she moved out, she left unpaid bills, and despite repeated reminders, never paid them, leaving me out of pocket. So, I wrote off the money and our friendship.

Unfortunately, if someone is prepared to treat you like that, I would argue that they weren't much of a friend in the first place... just takes a certain situation to find it out. Still painful though.

All the best.

I'd move on. When you have to question and analyse what it is that makes someone a friend rather than just "know" then I'd say that person is not really a friend any more. I have 3 or 4 good friends and one of them is my wife.

I "know" these are good friends because at those times when the friendship was tested we came through. Typically those times of difficulty are when both of you are in a situation that is completely detached from the reasons why you became friends. You both bring something of yourself to the situation that neither of you has experienced of the other. It's in those new and uncharted margins that friendships are often put to the test.

Time to move on.

You've dealt with the situation like a gent and if the roles were reversed I don't think you could have asked for more from your counterpart.

That said, it also sounds like you may have been carrying around a certain amount of judgment of this guy as was: all the stuff about him being a wheeler dealer, offensively blunt and never in a relationship. Its tough for a friendship to survive these sorts of imbalances if one or other of the constituents is overly conscious of them.

Not suggesting for a moment that you deserved the treatment he's given you, which sounds awful, but it does make me wonder whether if it hadn't been this it would have been something else sooner or later. In fact, if you'd posted the first bit of the above (Inc about him being a wheeler dealer etc) and then added: "I'm thinking of getting him to come and stay and do some work on the house - obviously I'll keep a close eye on what he's charging", it probably wouldn't have taken a genius to tell you what was coming.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, these situations are always crap and I take my hat off to you for paying his bill and keeping your cool. I just think pre-judgement, friendship, business and a smidgen of charity are a really toxic mix.

I would add one detail however; when you pay him, which you should do with a cheque, (preferably a company cheque, and not under any circumstances with cash), present him with a counter-invoice for the two night's Dinner B&B you provided. Tell him not to bother about paying the invoice, as you've deducted the correct amount from his bill when you wrote the cheque (be generous, make it around £150).

Then tell him to never darken etc. Resist the temptation to cancel the cheque out of mischievous spite. Cross him off the Christmas list, he's a twat.

..I agree almost 100% with Vulpes, but ask yourself this: how good a friend is he? Has he done you any "good turns" during your friendship?
Yep, invoice him for the two nights board as Vulpes suggested and indeed let him know about your severe displeasure and let him be well informed that you will never use him in a business capacity again...
But sometimes friends can be strange bedmates, with different moral codes and standards..... some weeks ago I posted a blog about my late friend Big Ted who did something really abhorrent, but I still remained his friend.
The decision is obviously entirely yours, but remember he has been your "good friend" for many years.

...to me that you are losing someone you thought was a friend rather than an actual friend.

and look at the extra cost as the price of getting shot of him.

It's tough when that happens. Recently, someone I thought was a very good friend turned out to be not that at all. I realised that I'd never really known him, just who he'd presented himself as.

As most of you have picked up he's been drifting off my radar for a while, and my decision to terminate the friendship wasn't based purely on this incident. He has helped me out over the years, and I have helped him out. "Wheeler Dealer" is the polite way to describe his profession. He describes himself as an auction flea, so I was being generous.

Niscum, believe me when I say I've presented his side in the best possible light. There are some other details I'm leaving out because they are my interpretation of the events.

It boils down to the fact that I hate being lied to, and being taken for an idiot by someone I counted as a friend. I only have a few good friends and none of the others would do this: it's not in their DNA.

But there is no exchanging of monies-because that's what friends do.

...pretty much everyone here, Pod!

I too had a very similar situation maybe 10 years ago when I asked a good friend to landscape our garden and get her usual guys to carry out the work. we saw a very different side to her then - a two week job stretched over 3 months cos we were forever at the bottom of her to-do list, appointments broken at late notice (affecting other contractors ability to do their bit when booked to do so), and a very bad attitude throughout - as if she were doing us a favour, not receiving a 4 figure sum. We gritted our teeth and tolerated it despite it being very painful and shocking in a way. But the final straw was discovering that - far from her promise to source plants at trade price - we were being charged more than we could have bought them ourselves at the MOST expensive garden centre in the area. We paid almost everything - held back maybe £150 for a bit of bodged work - and severed all contact. A salutory and painful experiencve.

I think the maxim of never hiring/being hired by friends is a sound one.

I used to believe that it's best not to mix business with friendship - or family, and I still think this holds true in British/western society. Too many situations like this where different attitudes to what's acceptable/taking advantage etc. I think you absolutely did the right thing. I wouldn't have been so forgiving.
I lived in China for a while where things were just the opposite - doing business with friends and extended family + connections was the only way to do business! There is an unwritten rule that you never cheat a friend or any family 'connection'. In fact it is just the opposite, with friends going out of their way to give you a discount/at cost or even freebies.

that maxim of never doing business with friends/ family. Is it better to do this and live in ignorance of the potential fallout or to test the boundaries and wait for the true colours to shine through?
It seems everyone is judging their close circle in the same negative way and this seems at odds with their actual role as close friend.
I have been bitten before and I am glad he is out of my life rather than having him wait around for a better opportunity to fuck me over.
But it hasn't put me off having faith in everyone else.

Ultimately he has done a job for you - it may have been poorly executed, but same may have happened by an 'expert'. And he does deserve being paid for it.

So....my interpretation is that he is a bit cr*p at business and got himself into a pickle by adding a premium, then trying pass off some BS to justify it and miscalculating his costs etc. The guy sounds like he is in a pretty desperate state to me and probably sees you as an easy piece of business and also as someone who 'has it all'.

If he had been really busy with proper work and you were desperate for urgent DIY help, he may well have slotted you in, even though it may have put other work at risk.

Ultimately you say he sees you as his best friend, so my feeling is that you should keep your conscience clear. Give him direct advice about pricing a job (for "mates rates" and proper work) and pay him in full; keep in occasional touch and don't employ him again.

I once shared a flat with a friend, and that experience has put me off that idea for ever!
She never paid her part of the rent on time, never cleaned the kitchen after having used it, and generally turned a bit nasty whenever I mentioned that the bills needed paying.
Not only that, but after a few months, her boyfriend (otherwise a really nice guy) moved in, and we lived 3 in the flat after that. I presumed that he was just staying over till the problems he had at his own flatshare has solved itself.. One day, however, I found a letter addressed to him in our letterbox, and so, he had clearly moved in. They never offered to pay two-thirds of the rent, despite both working full-time, and me being unemployed.

Needless to say, I got out of that arrangement as soon as the contract was up for renewal, and basically cut her off. A few months back, she got in contact, said she missed me and didn't I want to meet up? I wrote her a very frank email, saying that I thought she had treated me like shit (sorry) and that I didn't need her friendship anymore, if all she wanted from me, was to use me. She got the hint and we don't speak anymore. It's a shame, because before the flat disaster, I really liked, even loved her.

But yes, life's too short too keep dealing with friends who are only your friends because of what they can get out of you.

Sorry for the lengty comment, bwt!