"do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law" since you mentioned beasts

I presume?

but I can empathise as I've had similar experiences in varying degrees for the past six years, still struggling to come to terms with my thoughts and feelings. I have taken one major practical step, stopping the sequence of chasing funding in the voluntary sector to retain short-term positions, and I'm now in the third year of a social work degree, so maybe I'll get some focus and purpose back....but the eternal questions will remain, I guess - what is it all about, etc. The poets would say that this is the human condition.

Hope you can work things out. Best wishes.

one cliché that will be tossed your way. However, as I'm sure you are only too aware, the longer we go on, the more 'baggage' and responsibility we acquire. In these circumstances there is more than a little inertia to overcome to make a step change in one's life.
Don't feel guilty if this is the case. Guilt and worrying about 'lost opportunities' is redundant. A psychologist would probably tell you to look at the positive things in your life and those that you value.
If, given the current economic climate, there is something that you really want to do, an interest, hobby or skill (competency?) that you can parlay into a job, or even something voluntary that you want to do, then go for it.
Moving to a place you've always wanted to live is another option, if it is practical. Remember though that relocating (for example) doesn't change the person that you are or the problems/issues that may beset you.
Also, given the fact that you are obviously in a relationship, discuss it.
'Thought is action in rehearsal' as the paradox goes, but don't dwell too long - turn your dissatisfaction into action (apologies if that sounds trite). Don't just act - make a plan.

but when you ask, "is it worth me 'chasing a dream' or is it all about 'changing my head'?" aren't they one and the same thing?

You either change your head in such a way that you decide to pursue a new dream above all else, or you change your head to find beauty and satisfaction in the things you already have around you.

..you are a wet and a weed who go around saing "hello sky, hello trees" and cry like a babie when he sees a baa lam.

pursued the dream of graphic design after 4 years at art school, I can tell you I've had few rewards from it (apart from paying the bills) and more grief and angst plus a graphic designer's stock is pretty low these days since the advent of DTP - the grass isn't greener

wish I could think of a witty St. Custard's riposte to the above, chizz chizz

... and i diskard him uterly ect ect

Back (reluctantly) to the point: I'm 42 as well, identify strongly with a lot of the original post, except that I went through a proper education, university an' all, and still failed to realise my (creative) ambitions.

Then again, maybe I just didn't want it badly enough, as they say - who knows? Sometimes, of course, you can just be unlucky, but my inclination is to think that, to some extent at least, we make our own luck - the harder one works towards a particular goal, the luckier one gets, as the cliche (sort of) goes.

My own solution, apart from agonising over it far too much, is to try and find ways of incorporating my creative impulses into the life I actually have - for example, pursuing music through playing open mics or being a member of an a capella choir.

Anyway, I wish DougieJ the best of luck in dealing with his "stuff" - one thing I'd strongly endorse is Badlands' comment that you shouldn't feel guilty. Don't ever waste energy beating yourself up over what you have/haven't done. Life's too short (*scarpers, hotly pursued by Cliche Police*)

for all the comments. I feel I maybe overstated my 'predicament' a bit in my original post. Posting in the wee small hours with several beers and a couple of malts inside me probably didn't help! Just that general sense of ennui that I'm sure many of us are familiar with.

Anyway, as I say, cheers for the replies.

considering the age profile of The Word Massive is probably 40-50.
For what it's worth I've always considered my own and my friend's lives to see who has life "sussed" in terms of family, career, happiness etc. The answer has always been nobody has life sussed we get as close as we are able.
Having viewed and experienced mid-life crises I think the best maxim is "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence....but it rarely is".

...have you tried climbing a hill?

we'd say "It's a bluidy guid kick up thi erse ye need!"

but we are an uncouth and uncivilised race

..start running. I know this will attract a few well meant derisive comments, (and Wilde's quote about taking a lie down whenever he felt the urge to exercise does raise a smile) but it's great for banishing ennui. I've wrestled with the bugger for years, tried various forms of self medication to shake it off and nothing, but nothing, works like five miles and a hot shower. Start off slowly, ease yourself into it, don't punish yourself but don't give up either. Seriously, it works, (and you'll feel like you deserve that extra pint or three now and then).

Stark,simple,terrifying and liberating.Ya takes it or ya leaves it.

...when you were a small boy, what did you dream of growing up to be?

In 100 years none of us will be around, (possibly in 50), and they won't be building statues to us - so you can relax and enjoy yourself without worrying too much (so long as you can keep a roof over your head and that of your kith and kin).

As someone being to feel the spectre of 50, trust me, 42 is still loads of time to change things. Many of us will be working till 67 or even 70, so whatever you do you will be doing it for longer than you have done what you do now. So, I say - go for it.

I had my midlife crisis at 36 - saved a lot of time. Left multinational and started working for myself. Just as much stress, less money, but I have more control.

And I'm a little younger than you're average Wordster. I came across a book called Buddhism Plain & Simple by Steve Hagen, which I found quite helpful.

A lot of us spend our lifes thinking "If only I lost weight, had more money, owned a BMW, a bigger house...etc, then I could really start living". But if we did get all those things, we'd probably just start thinking "If only I had even more money, owned a Bentley, a mansion....etc". The dissatisfaction comes from within. Life is only ever now. This is it. As Wooderson said, "You've just gotta keep livin. L-I-V-I-N."