The Prosecution

Apart from drowning in raw sewerage can there be a more wretched experience than getting trapped in a lift with Escape (The Piña Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes, playing on a loop through the PA system. This is the song in which a couple independently conspire to commit adultery through the lonely hearts ad section of a newspaper, unaware that they are replying to each other's messages. Instead of ending in a bitter divorce, their mutual infidelity brings them closer together and makes them realise how much they have in common.

It's not just the twist ending that makes the song so god awful; it actually manages to be nauseating across a broad spectrum. The electric guitar part that follows the gag-inducing chorus has always filled me with impotent hate.

The Defence

Saint Etienne's 'Like A Motorway', with its "he's gone" refrain, alludes to the ending of a relationship, but concludes with the line "She said ‘I wish that he just left me, he'd be alive, alive tonight'".

It's a good song; one that would stand up even without the twist.

....but are you not, in the 3rd verse you quote, led in to believe it is the angry mother of a girlfriend tearing apart the happy home he had set up with same, rather than the happy family home of Chuck, Mrs Chuck and Marie.
As I said, maybe I'm naive.

by someone (Ray Stevens?) back in the 70's was considered quite risque at the time - is Bill his gay lover? How could they? - until we find out at the end that he's talking to his mate (and potential rival) Bill about his unnamed girlfriend ("...because she's MY girl, Bill!).

How we all laughed.

Just thought of three more good ones on the way home.
Where's Captain Kirk by Spizz Energi
Eye Of The Lens by Comsat Angels
Norwegian Wood by The Beatles
(probably the best of the lot - subtle enough not to be noticed by so many people)

Someone's going to have to help me out here. The whole premise of my original post is falling around my ears.
The only bad song with a twist I can think of is "Nice Legs Shame About The Face", which was just all-round bad.

I'm sure there's a litany of songs that would otherwise be good but which are spoilt by a massive third-verse cop-out.

(perhaps I should have thought this through a bit more)

This is so short, it's worth printing in its entirety:

Well, she's got jet pilot eyes from her hips on down
All the bombardiers are trying to force her out of town
She's five feet nine and she carries a monkey wrench
She weighs more by the foot than she does by the inch
She got all the downtown boys all at her command
But you've got to watch her closely 'cause she ain't no woman
She's a man.

by Dolly Parton's a good one. The singer actually commits suicide, and so the song ends. At least, that's what's hinted at. Fairly strongly.

by Paul Evans (obviously I looked that up)

Now that's a bad one.

Annie Nightingale used to play a quite disturbing song called something like "Win A Night Out With A Well-Known Paranoic" - don't know who by. That had two twists. It was good but it was so creepy I wouldn't care to hear it again.

(If I'm going to continue to monopolise my own threads I should really get an alter-ego)

It's by Barry Andrews isn't it? Formerly of XTC. B-side of "Rossmore Road" (very possibly mis-spelled). Great track, I remember being very pleased when I managed to tape it off the radio.

On Blackmail off Original Soundtrack, the geezer takes some photo's of his ex to blackmail her, but they end up in Playboy and she makes a fortune -whey hay!
It's not thier finest hour though...

I know this song in the version by Elvis Costello, which is a cover. Can't remember who did the original. Character is addressing his mother through the various verses and explains how various acquaintances and/or their pets came to their ends, before the last line reveals/implies that he has indeed done for his mama as well.

One of my favourite songs from my favourite band - turns out his great love has met a few others along the way.