Independent ( tried to do the cryptic crossword but today's is all golf-related so I can't get started ).
Diary ( open on someone's number I'm supposed to ring about doing a radio paper review but 'they're in a meeting' ).
Phone ( only my mother in law has phoned today ).
My other specs.
A pen with 'Claire's' printed on it.
A purring cat called Spooky.
An empty page on my laptop and an impatient, clicking cursor.

plus, cordless phone, guiness table mat, pencils, pens, clipboard digi camera, stapless stapler (crap) calculator, "Getting into French" PC-CD (note to self, must open it), a stack of magazine cover CD's ready to post to friend, invoices, and decked above the PC a mini scalextrix and Graham Farish train set (the latter two being the best exec toys I have ever had)

1 ashtray
1 packet of Camel blue gaspers
1 view camera pencil sharpener
1 can of Diet Coke
8 Italian grammar/verb books
1 piece of driftwood rescued from the banks of the Thames in the shape of a bear
1 graphics tablet
1 camping light
assorted rocks from Cornwall
1 lighter
1 plastic frog
1 bottle of cleaning fluid for glasses

Can we play "Whats the view from our windows"? Oh please please

nothings changed!
Shoe box full of seven inch singles a-g
Seven inch Single box black vinyl containing “favourites!
Large pot plant
Hp desk 320 printer
Eumig super 8 film camera
Assorted cd’s
Box containing clockwork toys assorted
2 x Spindles of cd’s burnt and uncooked.
Various stationery
A head torch
80’s style head phones with dodgy lead
1 rowing medal
One of those muji clear plastic boxes that look good in the shop but you never use
A carving knife
Ream of photo paper
Box with those pieces of paper that come with computers
Dust

too depressing so I'll just list the interesting stuff:
half empty jar of marmite, multi faceted origami shape, baby doll's head, 2006 Happy Tree Friends calendar, small paper beach ball, human skull, wind up penguin, clayface action figure, 8 pairs scissors, 3 forks, a tube of indoor fireworks, a Fantastic Four plastic cup in the shape of The Thing's head, a plain white face mask, and a pocket diary that is swollen and illegible since I put it through the wash.

Currently I'm sharing a table with:

2 Colouring books
1 tupperware box of assorted felt tips, play-doh and stickers
1 empty glass
1 copy of Country Walking magazine
1 copy of Word magazine (Ooooh swot!)
1 mobile phone
1 CD player remote control
1 empty packet of chocolate buttons (stolen from the 3 year old who owns the first two items on the list while she's out playing. I'll get her some more, honest)
1 CD case of Richard Hawley's Coles Corner which I'm listening to for the first time.

It's all go isn't it?

A mug which only moments ago contained Earl Grey tea.
A mobile phone
An ipod
An Iriver MP3 player
A pile of press releases which I don't want to think about just yet.
A copy of the album What Part of Hamfatter Do You Not Understand? on CD by the band Hamfatter.
A copy of the album Same Old Man on CD by John Hiat (still in cellophane)
A picture disk vinyl single of Rebel by the band Johnny Panic.
A vinyl LP by someone called John Lees (never listened to and, if I'm honest, never likely to be either).
A 1979 tour programme from a band called Camel.
A stapler.
A dictionary (never used)
A wallet (drying out after the cycle ride in in the rain)
A lunchbox containing two sandwiches, one peanut butter, one cheese and pickle.
A tub of vaseline.
A peice of useful string.

A pile of CDs sent to me that I haven't listened to yet, though luckily some of the artists have been dropped so I will never have to
A bottle of champagnne
A bottle of hampdens ale
A bottle of bishops finger
A bottle of adnams
A bottle of IPA
A porcelain model of a wanking bear
An elastic band ball
Numerous books: This Is Your Brain On Music, Kill Your Friends, The Last Party, Complete Beatles Chord Songbook, The Theory and Practice of lunch
A montage of Hacienda flyers signed by Peter Hook
A mobile phone
A calculator

10 piles of paper
10 pens
1 ruler
calculator
stapler
Mulan mug (empty)
laptop
printer
mouse
box file
Nordea Bank electronic keyfob & keys
11 cents

...but behind me is my stash of nibbles.

1. Laptop( toshiba : satellite a200:1AB )
2. pile of blank CD-RW discs
3 Important information leaflet from Nat west bank( unread)
4 Sony Ericsoon mobile phone. model W880i
5 oair of cuff links
6 Plectrum x 2
7 Sony Headphones MDR-V150
8. Letter from HM revenue & customs re my tax code
9 "Qwik tune" guitar tuner
10. Salamol Inhaler
11. DVD of " New York Doll" film( see previous blog)
12. half empty cup of coffee
13. Minature of the Starship enterprise NCC 1701 (TOS)
14. Empty jar for wine gums
15. Tascam DP -01 digital recording studio
16. Desk Lamp

Wire tray full of admin including 500 quid fine from VAT for being a day late with payment
Mountain of filing
Pile of Twang Jr's school/nursery stuff
Pot of pens
Anglepoise
Speakers
External hard drive
Cradle for Palm Treo
2 chequebooks
Plectrum
Assorted business cards
Phone
£1011 bill from robbing bastard electrician
Old train ticket
Pair of wire snippers left by BT man 2 months ago
Photo of Twang Jr making sand castle
Pile of chord charts and lyrics from recent rehearsal (forgotton on the day)
Fleetwood Mac Blue Horizon Sessions Box set
Pile of assorted other CDs
2 blank DVDs - part of "trying to transfer VHS tape to DVD" project
MC Escher mousemat
Fading colour inkjet cartridge
Colour inkjet cartridge packaging for the new one which is in the...
HP inkjet printer

Some blank CDs
Pen (blue biro)
Pen (black biro)
Pen (red marker affair)
Annie album sampler
Primal Scream's Beautiful Future promo
Several unmarked discs
A bucket-sized Mocha from Costa
A small Mr Bump figurine for vibes
Nail file
iPod stand thing
A webcam thingy
Ejay Techno 4
Ejay Techno 5
A dirty postcard
Cigarette papers
Haribo cola bottles (unopened - one CANNOT give in now)
A Soup Dragons badge
Phone charger

My, I AM dull

Apple MacBook Pro
Dell Monitor
Half Broken Telephone
Half Broken Mobile Phone
Ipod Classic
Iomega External Hard Drive
Plug board
1 Speaker that forms part of 5.1 system
an awful lot of paper
various data cds
yellow submarine
country music hall of fame squeezy guitar
Beatles Revolver mug
jar of Kenco coffee
half finished bottle of diet coke
unopened bottle of water
Rolling Stones Zippo Lighter
I pack of Camel Filters
more goddamn paper
1 Paul Weller Hit Parade 4 cd box set
picture of two beautiful daughters to remind me why I'm sitting here in the first place

Sony Ericsson K800i mobile phone.
I-pod, black, 80gb.
Desk phone.
Swansea City mug full of black coffee.
Large bottle of mineral water.
Ham salad baguette.
Apple.
Stapler.
Mouse mat "Who are we, Jack Army".
Mouse.
Inflatable Yellow Pages armchair phone-dock - which i use for paperclips rather than phone.
Box containing 5 reams of A4 paper.
Plastic zip-seal bag full "things to do".

Hole punch
Calendar
Business card holder
Pen holder
Desk light
Pile of work stuff I should be reading
Stapler
Glass of water
Lunch
PDA in cradle
Mobile phone
Desk phone
Laptop
Mouse

Yawn

Notebook
30cm ruler
Coaster
Empty glass with an apple core in it
glass ball paperweight type thing (never used as a paper weight... never used at all)
2000AD mug full of pens (mug won when I had a letter published in said comic)
Computer
Four Subbuteo men
A snowglobe with a canal-boat scene in it
A Star Wars Storm Trooper Mr. Potato Head
A 'USB Slam Dunk' basketball game
A dog-shaped money box
A Japanese Magneto toy
Printer
A key
Black Kids' 'Partie Traumatic' CD
Stereo remote control
Skype Phone
Keyboard
Mouse

Written down, It looks like I spend my working day surrounded by childish crap...

A small, red teapot containing a concentrated solution of sugar and traces of loose leaf Darjeeling.

A half-eaten blueberry Danish.

A ridiculously small and impractical Chinese-style teacup with no handles.

A tea strainer with bits of tea in it.

Assorted paper ribs and vertebrae belonging to an origami Brachiosaurus skeleton that I am making.

Rolled-up off-cuts of brown Elephant-hide paper.

A blue rubber band harvested from a bunch of spring onions.

A small pile of the following comics:

Scalped #6 # #17 #18
DMZ #31 #32
Crossing Midnight #19
Hellblazer #244 #245
Ex Machina #37
100 Bullets #91 #92 #93

A scrap of lined paper with the name ‘FLORIAN LEHRER’ written on it in giant capitals, followed by some indecipherable joined-up writing of my own making.

A pocket-sized, hardbound Moleskine notebook

A five pence piece, representing a distressingly high percentage of my current monetary wealth.

An A5-sized copy of the London AZ, its front cover reattached with black book binding tape.

A copy of Walking London’s Docks, Rivers & Canals by Gilly Cameron-Cooper

A copy of Halo for the PC

MOJO #177

Laptop + speakers
Ipod dock
Ipod Shuffle dock
An orange
Squeaky Buddha
Pen holder in the shape of gothic church tower + assorted pens
7 Tom Waits CDs
2 Dylan live bootleg CDs
Polo mints
2 used coffee cups
Some biscuit crumbs
Box of blank cds
Homemade Blue Nile compilation CD
Framed autographed picture of 'Drusilla' from 'Buffy The vampire Slayer'
Sony Cybershot
Ben Taylor memory stick
Bank statements
Appointment card for dentist
Assorted title deeds to be read

And can I ask Archie what exactly is a 'nearly used toilet roll'? It sounds as if you were about to use it and then for some reason - mercifully unspecified - decided against it.

Spooky has now slinked off to the airing cupboard upstairs.
The 'Claire' pen has been swiped by my 13 year old who came back from London this morning after seeing The Sound of Music.
I've got the open case of Mike McGear's rather good 1974 solo album ( on CD ) lying next to a cup of cold coffee.
I'm doing that paper review in mid-August.
I've eaten the watermelon.

...but a selection includes

A copy of born standing up by Steve Martin (recently purchased at Stansted Airport after reading a review in The Word)
Michelin guide to Germany 2008
A hiking map of Baiersbronn
Urgent notice from The Word telling me my subscription has ended
A grubby Sony radio
A Wire baseball cap
A sheet of luminous green sticky dots
A roll of sellotape
The travel section from the most recent edition of the Independent on Sunday
A ticket from See tickets with "This is not a ticket" printed in it
My passport
My wife's silk scarf
Hitachi AC adaptor
The Best of Budgie CD

From left

A pile of completed questionaires
A roll of corrugated display board edging
A huge pile of papers - essays, old exam papers, etc.
This months Word of Mouth CD
'The Citizen Resource: Legacies of the transatlantic slave trade'
A model teepee
A pot of whiteboard markers
A small pot plant in need of some water
An unopened box of push-pins
A DI box, for use at my brothers wedding on Saturdat
2 bottles of wine
A 3 cup cafetiere, in need of a clean
An iPod touch.
A telephone
2 books on the Black Death
a DVD on the assination of JFK, given away free with the Times

mp3 player
phone
papers
two books of poetry written by "The Fug"
headphones
pile of business cards
kinder egg roman soldier from asterix
UKTV History clock
staple remover
20p
pile of CDs
spare nokia battery
plastic box with unfiled expense receipts

this is some confessional you have managed to achieve from everyone. What can you ask of everyone next? And does this thread merit archiving in the British Museum?

Three ashtrays
Four lighters
Two packets of Marlboro lights
A plastic mug full of cocktail stirrers
A metal tin full of biros, pencils and marker pens
An address book
A pile of blank CDRs
Two post-it note pads
A cup of tea
A wristwatch
A telephone
A 2006 SftBH Acorn Fayre drip mat
And two external memory drives.
It's the kitchen table, incidentally.

Elvis Costello CDs (Blood And Chocolate, King Of America for loading onto the iPod)
Two packs of tobacco, some filters and seven packs of small red Rizlas.
Some of my wife's paperwork from when she was working from home.
Her laptop.
The first Clash album (again waiting loading onto the iPod)
An Ikea lamp
An empty Trojan box set. Dunno where the cds are.
A receipt for Argos for a discounted Playstation 2.
A travel pass.
An old lottery ticket.
Some dusty sunglasses
A pile of two pence pieces.
An ashtray.
A digital 16 track and an old synth.
A vicks nasal spray. Unused.
A carved wooden goblet with an arrow through it.
A picture of Beatrice Dalle.
A Bob Dylan chord book.
Some fizzy cola bottles.

...rather dull, and certainly not warranting an itemised list. A pile of papers that I will one day go through, my son's reading book from school - I've just put him to bed - and some website where people talk about desks.

Garishly coloured electric stapler.
Rack of PC games CDs that need to be in when you play.
Two humungous external hard drives full of FLACs, WAVs and so on.
Left channel PC speaker.
Assorted rocks, driftwood and shells from Bahamian beaches.
Tin guitar model sold by kids from shanty near Jo'burg airport.
Webcam.
Plastic Concorde model on stand.
Microphone on stand.
Squeezable 3 inch football stress reliever from BBC Lincs.
Pottery piglet.
Two plastic dinosaurs - Eddie and Steggy.
Plastic frog.
Two stash tins.
Big PC screen.
Kite shaped bollocks thing from motivational course with my name on.
D-Day Limited Edition Zippo lighter tin.
4 inch high electric robot.
Wooden case containing compass.
Plastic cube full of dayglo liquids.
Glass prism, chipped.
Graphics tablet.
Wooden bric-a-brac case.
10X hand-lens,
Wooden pencil case.
Cubic wooden Toblerone fold-out advert thingamajig.
Microsoft Force Feedback joystick.
Antique brass ashtray.
Pottery mice in double bed.
Two pottery owls.
Right channel PC speaker.
Large lump of twisted driftwood from Cornwall.
Three remotes.
Total Entertainment Network coaster - free with original Quake.

..there was a programme - channel Five I think - a few weeks back about people sexually attracted to 'objects'. One was some guys who get turned on by cars and carry it through to the inevitable, and there was a woman who was 'married' to the Eiffel Tower.

I'd hate to think there might be some people for whom this thread could count as porn.

Somebody close this thread for the sake of our desks!

includes...

An Uncle Joe's Mint Balls drinks coaster
Telephone
Alarm clock that gets a time signal via satellite
Bag of Funf Krauter cough sweets (where's the umlaut when you need one)
Grumpy beanie
Grumpy pint mug (full of pens)
Disney pen holder (full)
2 plastic models of Figment, the purple dragon
A double CD, Albertos Y Los Trios Paranoias - Mandrax Sunset Variations
Assorted credit card bills

so here's what's in my 'cube'
postcard from the Maldives that I sent to work and no-one was impressed
desk lamp
new 8gb Creative Zen V plus that I put my new stuff on, as my other 2 zen jukeboxes are full up
eSure mouse
toy tractor and calendar (secret Santa pressie)
Match of the day calendar
2 trophies for winning our work footie predictions comp in 2 out of last 3 seasons
Leeds United mug with cold coffee
pile of paper containing lots of boring stuff that I have to check
filing trays with above papers after I've checked it and before it comes back after being updated (originals as review is sent electronically)
photo I took that got 'highly commended' in work's photo comp
pc, monitor etc
another pile of work that needs filing
mug full of pens
stapler
dictionary held together with lots of sellotape
photo of Jack, our black lab (flat-coated retriever, actually)

this is all from memory as I'm at home now - too busy to read this blog whilst at work

A stack of CD-r's
Speaker
80gig hard drive
Monitor
Bills (!)
Documents for a company I just set up that haven't found a home yet
Two Word cd-s (no I'm not just making that up - was just ripping them onto said Hard drive a few minutes ago)
Lanline phone
Hole puncher
Pen holder (with assorted pens/scissors and a Lemsip Max for some reason)
Sellotape dispenser
Deepak Chopra's The Third Jesus
Notepad
Lamo
Calculator
Speaker
Stapler
Printer
Decanter

Vulpes Vulpes - you wanna swap desks? Your's sounds much more interesting!!!

1. lamp
2. overflowing in tray
3. notepad
4. alarm clock (stopped)
5. junior dictionary (my sons)
6. 3 photo frames waiting for me to print photos of the kids
7. pen holder and coaster (made by my son and in the away colours of Leeds Utd (how great are kids?). Has some pens and a screwdriver in it.
8. some rather nice Logitech media speakers (Z10's)
9. Baby monitor (twns are sleeping soundly)
10. Newest word cd
11. ipod dock
12. printer
13. scanner
14. camera battery charger
15. house dect phone
16. 2 cds - 1 blank (it didn't work) and one with audiobook of Point Blank on it.
17. credit card bill unopened (I know whats in it).
18. pc mic
19. wireless keyboard and mouse
20. mouse mat. glass desk & optical mouse not a good combo without one.

3 Hard drives - contents far too boring to begin to go into
Bose speakers with bass woofer thingy and that turney volume thing you can also touch for mute. Very nice.
A highlighter
Sharpie Pen
A Guy Martin/Red Torpedo mug with Tea and milk (no sugar)
Digidesign mBox 2
chubb capo
My lovely Mac laptop, which I spend far too much time in front of
4 x bus tickets
Tape-Op Magazine (a *must* for any studio geek)
Word Magazine Free CD case - can't find the CD (think it's in car)
My iPhone, in dock with wee bluetooth headset thingy
Stapler
Printer
Desk lamp
Mouse

Judging by the assorted CDs, DVDs, beer bottles, executive toys listed, does anyone actually do any real work at their desks.

Can we play guess what we do as jobs based on our desk crap next ?

My desk is pretty boring
MacBook Pro (my rebellion against standard issue Dell / Windows crap)
Maxtor One Touch 750G external drive connected via Firewire
Epson Inkjet printer (that doesn't actually connect to the MBP as its not USB !)
Diary / Pen - open
Desk Phone (mobile in pocket)
Sheffield Utd mug filled with tea (but sometime coffee)
Dilbert Desk calandar

That's it.... for today at least I have achieved the paperless office.

(L to R)

Large 'No-name' Black desktop PC box on top of which is an external DVD writer (No idea why as already have one in box)

Brand new Fuji F100 Digital Camera in box (Mother-in-law's) I have to explain to her how it works later today. Will be interesting as she doesn't own and can't operate a PC.........

Anglepoise Desklamp
Speaker (L)
Appointment card for physiotherapist (last appointment 23rd March 2007)
Large Flatscreen (showing this screen)
HP Laptop (Showing background of 1970 'BBC 1 COLOUR' TV screen as background)
Logitech PC video camera
Wallet containing 10 credit cards and 5 quid
Speaker (R)
Mouse mat
3 (!) Wireless mice
3rd Laptop (Asus Eeepc) showing photo of Vulcan taking off (Very un-pc but in mitigation it was my old man at the controls)
3 coasters made from old PC boards
Large white mug of steaming tea
Blackberry

...so I have
- lots of freebie mugs which I use for pens, paper clips, elastic bands etc
- phone charger (shamelessly using work's electricity !)
- some family pictures
- a box of tissues (for drink spillages)
- a couple of apples
- a Me-to-You Congratulations bear
- the iPod (ready for the walk home, or if it gets really quiet here)
- lots of post-it pads
- a growing collection of stress balls - together with mugs, they seem to be the promotional giveaway of choice at the moment

Heppo was up for it straight away, but what about Ellsy's desk? Or Mr Harrison's? Or Big Fitzo's? Or Miss Mossman-Prophecies'?

Old Lewry's away on his hols (it's Damascus Butlin's again this year, apparently - old habits die hard), but couldn't someone have a quick shufty at all that stuff on his woodwork bench and get back to us?

Today, for the workforce, I brought in a double-pack of custard creams – surely King Biscuit – and it's just been splayed akimbo by a flying football.

Also on my desk:
*an insulated pint-pot for tea (empty)
*a Cup Noodle (Lidl, unopened)
*two toilet rolls (for spillages caused by flying footballs)
*a Howl Griff plectrum
*a cup full of copper coins left by my predecessor
*a Lambretta scooter-shaped salt-pot (empty)
*half an American sweet called a Mary Jane (a very neatly-sawn half too, no idea where the other half went)
*a wrapper from a Bakewell Tart which I rather enjoyed an hour or so ago
*a vast book entitled "Getting To Grips With Search Engine Marketing" (spine unbroken)
*and a small wooden monkey (about 25p from the Czech Republic) with a home-made badge bearing the legend "Cheeky Charlie Chimp, the cheap chief sub".

hotel reception bell
stamps
cold tea sat on 7" picture disk of Embrace's world cup song
around 100 cds
remote control for a CD player
duster (I'm tidying up)
throat sweets
cutting mat
3 computers

Four bottles of mineral water in various states of emptiness
I small tin of chocolates, now containing raisins
An apple
Two empty coffee cups
5 forms that need to be filled if I want to find somewhere to live.
Headphones
A brick, filled with some strange stone bits and some moss
Some work

Coffee (hey, it's only 8:30am here)
DVD of a documentary: "Jandek on Corwood"
Whiteboard cleaner
Advil
Small bottle of fountain pen ink (gris nuage colour)
Fountain pen
Day book
Receipt for IT equipment
2 x cellphones
1 x cellphone/PC interface cable
Recept for CAA membership
Batch of cards of completed programming stories
Small wallet of photographs
Post-it notes
Lens cloth
Documents (lots of!)
Portable hard disk
Sunglasses
2 x blank CD-R
91 x Blank story cards
2 x ticket stubs to Calexico at the Mod Club, Toronto 6/8/08
Screen, keyboard and mouse (of course!)
Green highlighter
Black Sharpie

... I really need to clean my desk up, I think...

1 roll duct tape on which rests replacement line for a lawn strimmer

A box of fountain pens of various values which contain a variety of coloured inks ( Mrs Mac says I display a strange childlike joy whilst filling these )

A steel tape measure

A Triolet ( Think scrabble using numbers instead ) game , still on the board and bearing witness to Mrs Mac's recent victory

A couple of scalpels escorted by a cutting board bearing plain board and two leds

Far too many ginger hairs , no sign of previous owner a Tom called Dylan

A Comb , which seems to sneer as chemo and age has ensured it will, if not be unemployed at least be home early for tea .

an Ipod

a Cowbell and a pair of carbonsticks (light )

An imaginary trophy for possibly sending in the caption which curdled the milk .
I would like to point out that if it was my suggestion :-

A) For many many reasons I do NOT believe you should ever do that ,to either a womble or a bespectacled piano player .

B) Please sir Rob made me , yes he did sir .

finally there rests a threatening letter signed by Mark Ellen suggesting as the result of a transaction with the bank that the young woman at WHSmiths need never be bothered by my body odour and mumbling as my doormat is going to thud in a satisfying fashion .

All of the above will " have to be cleared from the table by the time I get home " Mrs Mac .

The trophy may have to be stored at the Dr Persaud's , but then he may claim it was his idea .

Coffee
Digital camera (left there by son and not moved by me...)
Dead Souls by Ian Rankin
Various glasses
Broken model of a dragster
Phone (charging)
Conspiracy of Fools by Kurt Eichenwald (about Enron)
My wifes (now my) Ipod (waiting for attention after my old one was stolen by a noisy bastard on the Leeds London train - wife decided my needs were greater than hers)(her tastes significantly different to mine)
Various DVDs including the two Clint Eastwood films about Iwo Jima,
The Counterfeiter (is it any good?), Michael Clayton and the Jesse James film with the long title.
A stack of random Word (and in hushed voice) Mojo CDs
Ticket stub for Robert Cray at the Brighton Dome last week
Letter from the tax man

Oh dear, it's really quite tidy. Not by nature a packrat, you see. Loads of folders and manuals of work-related stuff which would be terminally dull for you all to read. So what else can I see there...

On the desktop:
A stuffed-toy large keyring with "Love from Oscar" embroidered on it. (Donkey Sanctuary sponsorship freebie)
Wedding photo of me & Mrs.V.
Oregon Scientific weather centre, telling me it's 24.8 degrees and 45% humidity in the office. Comfy.

On the wall:
Various photos of our cats (Janet presents me with these from time to time and I duly Blu-Tack 'em up).
Despair Inc. wall calendar with photo of skydiving team and the caption "IDIOCY: Never Underestimate The Power Of Stupid People In Large Groups".
Edward Gorey wall calendar, current caption: "As the party was about to retire for the night Fenks announced that the Lisping Elbow was not in its case."

In desperation, I look inside my desk and find:
Some wooden dice.
Lapel badges from the last 5 Red Nose Days.
A drawstring pouch containing 8 strongly magnetised metallic pebbles.
Paracetamol
Several small wooden spinning tops.
2 soft rubber balls.
Spare earbuds for iPod.
Helix school geometry set.
Beethoven mug.
Immense "50 Today" badge.
Looseleaf photo album containing many favourite Gary Larson cartoons.
Original starter boxset of "Magic: The Gathering".
Several preconstructed MtG card decks.

...so obviously I shove most of my kipple out of sight.

At first glance it looks tidy, but behind the facade...

- A Dell desktop + speakers (only Dell so don't justify more info) + keyboard
- A landline phone/answerphone thingy
- The charger for my cordless mouse (or bed as I call it)
- An old fashioned blotter on which are; a pedometer (no, I don't know why either); a little black box containing a Cunard line keyholder (they tried to sell us some cabins at a dinner and this was the prize for not buying); 2 spectacle cases (one hard, one soft); a dead Palm Tungsten E2; a mouse mat with a picture of my granddaughters on it
- A notepad and pencil (for writing down those important things to do/remember and it's empty today)
- My mobile charging
- Another Tungsten E2 charging
- 2 iPods (1 40 gig and 1 80 gig)
- 120 gig hard drive ( for the ITunes library)
- Box of tissues
- Calendar (Showing man on bike pulling trailer of worldly goods plus dog - and this from a professional services firm!)
- Desk tidy (it seems to work)
- Rack containing compliments slips and blank lottery forms (memo to self: why?)
- One in tray & one filing tray containing 'stuff'

Oh and a copy of the latest Word magazine - of course!

Ok

> an iPod
> Iriver mp3 player
> Denon amp
> minidisc player
> pile of minidiscs
> dalek (red)
> mice (3!)
> bottle of wood gule
> ink bottles
> cycle computer
> bike lights
> lego club badge (recently unearthed during unwise loft cleaning)
> blown light bulb (x2)
> tube of superglue remover
> iPod charger
> NES (broken)
> tyre levers
> DAB radio
> maglight (with leaky batteries)

plus a rather large amount of detritus.

an out of case Cd that has been filed,"Portrait of a Legend' Sam Cooke
an empty pint pot
an empty bottle of "St Peters English Ale"
a half pack of players
an ashtray
'Remain in light' Talking Heads
altec surround sound speakers
a half empty glass of Torlesse 2004 Canterbury Pinot Noir
the remaining bottle of above ( Well it is Friday Night)
an ION vinyl converter Box
a pair of red high heels (the wifes, Honest Guv)
the World at War box set, thanks Word
a lighter
a pen
A microphone connecter cable
How much do we reveal??

A picture of Lily
Two Union magazines
A Union Broad Left application form
A fountain pen
A referal letter to a hospital pain clinic
A mobile phone
A pair of glasses
Two glasses cases
A sandwich box with sandwiches inside (humus and bell pepper)
Two paper weights
A calander
Two coasters (one made from a scratched cd copy of "Down At The Hop" by BMX Bandits.
A used ticket for a Marcus Brigstock BBC Radio 4 radio show
A Post-It note pad
A South Park mug (tea bag inside ready for a cup of tea)
A glass
A calculator
A hi-lighter pen
Two pen holders
A note pad
A packet of Steak and Onion crisps
A document holder
A pass for the office that should be round my neck
A stuffed toy cat in a basket (called Bob)
A card made by Sybil

- an iPod (5th gen 80gb in a rather fetching red leather case)
- a Graham Slee Voyager iPod amp (brilliant sound BTW)
- a pair of Shure 520 in ear phones
- a Fleet Foxes cd
- a Shelby Lynne cd (if only I'd had a set of classic albums on my desk)
- a pile of papers I've no intention of looking at
- a Fantasy Football mouse mat
- a Toshiba laptop & docking station
- Dell keyboard, mouse and flat screen
- 2 DVD box sets (The Wire series 2&3 - arrived today from Amazonia)
- a Leeds United mug half full of very strong black coffee
- a German Weizen glass with a bit of water in the bottom
- a Berlin desk calander
- an ergonomic hand-shaped stapler (well not shaped like a hand but so one can nicely wrap itself around (yes I'm sure its a stapler)
- a Sony Ericsson charger
- a cordless phone
- a box of tissues

Er, that's it

Two bottles of water
Eight jiffy bags
The 1000 UK No.1 Hits (book, not all the records)
Concise OED
Record Collector price guide (2002)
Music Week directory
About 12 copies of The Guardian
Box of Earl Grey tea
A Los Campesinos! sticker
An origami fox
A monkey from The Golden Compass that flips over
Music Week
Little Jackie press release
Around 200 CDs, including at first glance - the Little Jackie album, Carla Bruni, Shortwave Set single, Pendulum, Laguna Meth, Late Of The Pier, The Watson Twins, Basshunter and DFA's Supersoul thing
Tub of jelly beans

One old Marmite jar, with pens, letter opener, scissors emerging
3 Creative speakers for 5.1 surround sound. (currently not working)
Chimei LCD display, usable but not working properly
Green recipe card box, labelled "receipts, tickets, etc" slowly filling
Pile of business cards (other peoples)
Nokia N95
Wallet
Charbonnel and Walker tin, biscuits for the storage of.
One daily to-do sheet
One company cheque book
2 AAA batteries, one rechargeable, one copper-coloured top
One old memory stick (32MB - or 78rpmm in modern money)
One neon desklamp, gift from last job (now 8 years ago)
One alarm clock
Glasses
Empty mug, tea for the consumption of
Notepad
3 mobile broadband modem
one copy of Hitchin Community News. Unread, likely to remain so
4 coasters, all unused
One Roberts transistor radio, TMS for the listening of
One 35mm film canister
One electric shaver
One unmarked mystery CD
One Acer laptop
One wedding anniversary card, used
One card from local headteacher
One copy of Terry Eagleton's "Holy Terror"
Pink and orange post-its, square
Yellow post-its, hexagonal
One large ball of Blu-tak

At work, apart from the usual, I have:
A photo of Alaska, the most beautiful and awe-inspiring place in the world.
A photo of my beloved - one of the few she has allowed me to take.
Some old papers.
A calendar painted by disabled people.
From my office windows, I can see: to the left, a grey wall, in front of me, a blue and grey wall, to the right there's no window, and behind me, a grey wall. Jealous?

At home, my desk includes:
A small china gnome.
Mr Happy - squeeze him and he sings a little song. It cheers me up no end.
An everlasting wooden calendar made by my dad.
More bits of paper than I know what to do with or could ever possibly sort out.
The view from the window is of our garden, which I love with every fibre of my being and is occasionally home to a nearby family of rabbits, a few squirrels, a decent number of small birds, a quite angry cat and what appears to be the world's entire population of moles.