Katie Melua - Mary Pickford - Worst lyrics ever? Discuss.
It seems to be an easy target this and I'm sure I'm not the only one, etc... but I've just heard the latest gem from Katie Melua and I am still in the process of picking my jaw up off the floor. Is this some kind of joke? Surely there should be some kind of law against this kind of thing: -
Mary Pickford used to eat roses
Thought that they'd make her beautiful and they did,
One supposes.
Douglas Fairbanks, he was so handsome,
He wore a moustache,
Must-a had much cash, too,
Worth a king's ransom,
Charlie Chaplin, he was invited,
When these artists became united.
When these artists became united.
David Griffith worked as an extra,
Then as a stagehand,
Until they let him be
A director
Dave was brave, a mover and shaker,
A true pioneer,
He seemed to show no fear,
A real film maker
[ Mary Pickford lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
Just like Chaplin, he was invited,
When these artists became united.
When these artists became united.
They tied the knot together,
Groom and bride couldn't hide their pleasure.
They tried to pick fair weather,
But love died, didn't last forever.
Mary Pickford used to eat roses,
Thought that they'd make her beautiful and they did,
One supposes.
Douglas Fairbanks, he was so handsome,
He wore a moustache,
Must-a had much cash too,
Worth a king's ransom.
Charlie Chaplin, he was invited,
When these artists became united.
When these artists became united.
When these artists became united
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yep
yep, that's pretty damn bad
an artist in world class
so tell me, have you even listened to this song? it is a beautiful song, and the lyrics just fill it out. I actually find the lyrics amuzing, she is pointing out some of the greatest earliest hollywood stars. There is nothing wrong with that. And also, I saw katie melua live some weeks ago, she is a musical genius, that really knows how to rock you lame losers off your seats.
Katie Melua live ...
was the lamest thing I've ever seen. I went because my wife got cheap tickets. Even at a fiver each they were too much. I lasted for about 6 songs, leaving after the worst rendering of "Lucy in the Sky" I've ever heard. She is a very easy target, I know, but she does turn out some of the most terrible pap in the history of easy listening music.
The man speaks the truth
Just because she's an easy target doesn't mean you don't hit her. She (and Mike Batt) get too easy a ride.
I almost wonder if they're deliberate...
... and intended to stick in the mind.
Though I think 'If you were a piece of wood I'd nail you' shows a startling move into racier areas, and a developing maturity of theme. Ahem.
Actually, is she responsible for her lyrics? I had the idea Mike Batt was involved in some way, though I might be off the mark there.
I reckon she gets all her
I reckon she gets all her lyrics from a Big Book of Fantastic Facts. I look forward to forthcoming ditties that contain the lyrics "Picasso could draw before he could walk", "In 1969 the US launched a male chimpanzee called Ham into space", and "Julius Caesar was a great swimmer."
HAH, that would be hilarious...
i'm personally looking forward to her incorporating
"Bob Holness plays the Sax solo on Baker St by Gerry Rafferty"
into the middle 8 of her next single
(yeah - i know, he didn't really, but i still like me urban myths)
Topaz
Y'know, I'm starting to suspect that Katie Melua is the reincarnation of that mighty purveyor of dreadful verse, William Topaz McGonagall.
She has her knockers
Katie's alright when it comes to apalling lyrics, but she's no Natasha Bedingfield.
she has her knockers
fnarr fnarr fnarr
Katies knockers
Are we talking about her lyrics or her knockers? The lyrics are shit but not sure about the knockers.I think it is Mike Batt who writes the crap - fair play to him though he has made more out of her than his Wombles I bet plus she is prettier by far and doesn't crap in the woods as far as I know.
I could be heading for the Slammer...
The guy who sits by me at work is a big Katie Melua fan (or Kate as he refers to her). It was all I could do to restrain myself from killing him after hearing "There are 9 million bicycles..." a thousand times.
If he starts on Mary Pickford, it could tip me over the edge.
No
As an unashamed Radio 2 devotee I hear this song perhaps more often than I'd care to, but it drifts by pleasantly enough (even the "much cash" line).
As far as the lyrics go, given the pretty narrow range of subject matter that 99% of pop music addresses (relationship hassles ... general mewling about the state of the world ... er, that‘s about it) I think songs about things like the formation of United Artists should be encouraged. After all this event (i.e. the "talent" shaking off the shackles of the bigwig companies and doing their own thing in their own way and for their own benefit) caused ripples far and wide, not least Word magazine and the computer industry without whose products the Word "community" wouldn't exist.
What should songs be about? Girls in their summer clothes?
Can't be arsed looking up the credits but I suspect it's the work of that magnificent buffoon Mike Batt, Katie Melua's producer and mentor and were it not for the alarming news that she's doing a posthumous duet with Eve Cassidy on What A Wonderful World to mark the festive season, I'd be wishing you all a Wombling Merry Christmas.
But its catchy...
Its all the things everyone has said, and I'm ashamed, but I can't get it out of my head and find myself humming it regularly. Please someone, make it stop.
I feel your pain
It was in my bloody head ALL NIGHT. All night, going round and round.
I am very tired today.
THE FEELING
(right now this song is playing in the office, my ears are bleeding)
"Never Be Lonely"
People in love get fast and foolish
People in love get everything wrong
People in love get scared and stupid
People in love get everything wrong
At least they're not lonely
At least they're not lonely
Never Be Lonely
BBBBaby I think I'm going CCCCrazy
And why should I be sane without you
They tell me to fight it
But they can bloody well just try it
Ill never be the same without you
People in love get special treatment
People in love get everything wrong
People in love their hearts get eaten
People in love get everything wrong
At least they're not lonely
At least they're not lonely
Never Be Lonely
BBBBaby I think I'm going CCCCrazy
And why should I be sane without you
They tell me to fight it
But they can bloody well just try it
Ill never be the same without you
Never Be lonely
Surely these
are the worst lyrics in music history..
I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in a park
And there's no one else around,
Oh I get the shivers.
I don't want to see a ghost,
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news.
Des'ree - be ashamed, be very ashamed for singing this.
No, these are the worst
See my contribution to the thread re Eric Clapton being a bit rubbish....
http://www.wordmagazine.co.uk/content/ec-isn039t-here#comment-3124
Worth a parody?
Okay, surely people could come up with a ripe parody of this? 3 minutes of my time (you'd never guess): -
Bernard Manning used to eat pies
Though they made him put weight on his hips,
And thighs.
Bruce Forsyth, he was on last night,
He wore a toupee,
He would like to play,
All of his cards right.
Russ Abbott… I give up.
Maybe you lads..
Should go and migrate to Russia and then after a few years write pop songs using the complexities of that particular grammar...Cut her some slack for christ's sake. McCartneys been writing crap clumsy lyrics for years, and English is his first language!
Waiting...
Anyone who rhymes the words 'waiting' and 'anticipating' must surely be in line for a 'worst lyric' award.
Just plain wrong in so many ways. They mean the same thing, you muppets!
Yes...
That "Try A Little Tenderness" is pretty awful.
I wouldn't use those words in a song, but even Kermit knows that they have subtly different meanings.
Dealing with Katie Melua
I get around Katie Melua songs by imagining Mike Batt singing them, generally in a slightly nasal, Womble-like manner, with 70s style double tracking.