jokes about musicians
Posted by tonyhunter on 12 November 2008 - 1:39am.
can anyone direct me to a good compendium of jokes about musicians - preferably online
My interest was renewed recently by the highly amusing two drummers word podcast .
an example - what do you do when you hear a bass solo-
answer run coz the drum solo is next
how do you know a drummer is at your door
the knocking speeds up etc etc
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Try this
http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes/
This pops up at the top of a Google for the words 'musician'and 'jokes'. I read a couple and didn't find them funny, but lokoing at your examples that may not be one of your criteria.
funnily enough
i also googled using the same keywords and came up with the same conclusion -not very funny
most of these word contributions are funnier though given your obnservations re my examples - you may not agree
Here's a couple from the folk world
What's the difference between an onion and an accordion?
Nobody cries when you cut up an accordion.
What's the difference between a cattle grid and an accordion?
Nobody slows down to drive over an accordion.
How do you define a drummer?
A man who hangs around with musicians.
These are Very old Jokes and are adaptable to the instrument of your choice.
A few more...
What's the definition of perfect pitch?
Throwing an accordian into a skip without touching the sides
What's the definition of an eternal optimist?
An accordian player with business cards
What's the difference between a jazz musician and savings bonds?
Savings bonds eventually mature and start earning money
What's the difference between Jamiroqui and a cow?
A cow has the horns at the front and the arsehole at the back
How do you get a lead guitarist to stop playing?
Put some sheet music in front of them
Why are all musician jokes one-liners?
So bass players can understand them
Ay thangyew.
and
what do you call a folk singer with no girlfriend?
Homeless
or
How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
1001 - one to change it and 1000 to sing about how great the old one was
What...
do you call a fiddler player falling off a cliff?
A good start.
My favourite drummer joke
What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
You only have to punch the information into the machine once.
How do you know your band's about to split?
The bassist says "Can we try one of my songs"
bass player suggesting his songs
that would be the best so far
And
how do you know there's a girl singer at the door?
She doesn't come in when you tell her to (cuts and runs for cover - Sorry Eddie it was a joke)
and
she can't find the key