Entertainment For Lively Minds
It's not f***ing Mothers Day is it?
Posted by Richard Lowe on 7 March 2010 - 11:16am.
I've just done something I've always tried to avoid. Used the "f" word in front of my daughter who is 16 and probably uses it and hears it a million times a day. But not from me. Nor to me from her.
The reason? GLW went for an early Tesco-run. A pattern seemed to be emerging in Steve Wright"s Sunday Love Songs, which I was half-listening to. The alarm bells started ringing. And out it came: "It's not f***ing Mothers Day is it?"
Isn't the calender already a minefield of "obligations that can easily skip your mind, even if your heart's in the right place" without creating artifical ones?
- More from Richard Lowe.
- Login or register to post comments
-
Relax
and now feel the gentle background static of anxiety become a thunderous, squalling shriek as NEXT sunday slides into your tremulous purview...
Thanks for the tip-off
Thanks for the tip-off.
I am now primed.
Although
today is probably Milkman's Day or Take A Tree To Tesco's day. So don't forget (oh you did).
Please remember...
When taking a tree to Tesco's, nighttime apparel is frowned upon.
I've got a controversial theory
I don't think Kids Today swear as much as I did when I was their age. My own offspring are anything but angels but I could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I have heard any of them swear over a period of twenty-seven years. I'm not naive enough to think that they don't swear. I used to swear because I believed that my parents didn't do it at all. I did it to break a taboo. Those taboos don't exist in the same way. If my children did swear now I might raise an eyebrow but I wouldn't raise the riot act. Maybe it's no fun anymore.
I think there's something to be said for it
but I also think it very much depends on exactly who and where they are. Trust me, I hear some sixteen year olds swearing in creative ways which gives my nearly 40 year old self cause for consideration, and which would make Malcolm Tucker wince.
On the other hand, I hear other teenage groups knocking along quite nicely without the need. As you say, it's not such a shocking taboo now. The so-called f word is damn near ubiquitous and even the vulgarian's Chaucerian expletive of choice is becoming gradually more visible. Swearing just doesn't have the visceral, Pistols v Grundy, punch it once did.
I'm kind of with Frank Zappa on this one: swear words are, after all, just words in the end. I'd rather my daughter grew up learning to swear properly, than do it inexpertly.
Decorum
They just don't swear in front of you. Decorum. It's old-fashioned, but there's a lot to be said for it.
Mothers Day is a load of bollocks...
and my mum agrees with me. She knows I love her and doesn't need a day in the calendar to be reminded of it.
Spot On
Same goes for any other 'invented day', specifically sodding Valentines Day ("Bunch of Flowers? That'll be 36 quid please!")
I must be behind the times
I didn't know there was a 'f***ing Mothers Day'.
Is this a new, MILF-tastic thing? ;)
So long as it's not
some kind of Oedipus related event. Count me out.
It always catches me out.
I don't have a mother (well, I did once, obviously - I'm not David Icke...) but my kids do.
I ignore it - then I panic. Must buy card, must get gift, must jump up and down and tie self in knot of obligation on their behalf.
Not that the GLW would want me to. It just happens.
F***ing Mother's Day.
Mothers Day.
Mothers' Day.
On the subject of swearing
I recall my wife and I spending a long weekend in Wicklow at a small farm house B&B and on the first night deciding to walk down to the nearest pub for a drink and a bite to eat. It was a glorious summer's evening and as we sauntered towards the watering-hole we espied 3 kids playing Pooh Sticks on the little foot-bridge that crossed over the stream to the pub's back entrance. It was a perfectly lit scene with just the hum of the late evening sun and the birds bedding down in the trees to accompany our approach. As I turned to my wife to pass comment on the perfection of it all one of the little ones piped up "Ahh for f**ck's sake you f**king f**k you've f**ked it up" on account of his mate missing some spot on the water with his stick, to which the recipient obviously replied "F**k off you f**king f**k" and then stomped off down the lane flicking the Vs back at anyone who happened to be watching.
Inventive/Unnecessary use of F Word
During my apprenticeship, I was working in the main Workshop.
The Chargehand would use "f***ing" as a natural pause to gather his thoughts before his next expletive-laden missive ("blah tooling blah machine blah ... f***ing ... blah micrometer blah band saw").
One of his best: instead of simply saying "Its broken", the phrase used was "The f***ing f***ers f***ed"
Any relation to Richard Motram?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Mottram
The Irish
that I've met generally regard the F-word as an everyday, all-occasions word. I've a couple of friends who drop the F-word and go clean spoken when they're really, really angry.
You cant beat the Scots
in the use of the f-word in everyday language. I remember a Scottish comedian on a show, may have been Mock the Week, who tried to give an example of just how ingrained it is.
He described going to a football match in lower divisions of the Highland League, crowd numbered about 50 people and a dog. There was a stand along one side of the pitch and one guy sitting all by himself in the middle. Upon the scuffing of a shot or similar act of uselessness by the home side, the bloke got to his feet, cupped his hands round his mouth and shouted "FUCKIN'.......BOOO!!"
It was
Fred MacAulay on Mock The Week.
And it was pretty funny.
Today
is Motherfuckers Day.
I thought MoFo's Day was the day after FoMo's Day
in which case it's next Monday Doc.
Say it with flowers