http://www.wordmagazine.co.uk/content/as-mr-mackey-says-drugs-are-bad

Go home tonight, forget about work, stick on your favourite record or film and relax with a glass of whatever takes yer fancy.

David Cameron and George Osborne in Pierrot costumes eating jam from a jar and laughing merrily. Enter, stage right, a ravenous pride of lions.The look on their faces as their impending fate becomes clear should certainly give you some cheer!
Whatever you do, don't take it home with you...Remember the words of Kate Bush: I put this moment...here. I put this moment....here!
Have a nice weekend and attack it with fresh will on Monday.

you've had a worse week than you think...

...but I hope it takes your mind off your day.

Don't worry too much - we all have 'em. Enjoy your weekend.

today and she's none too happy at work herself so I sent her something I wrote earlier today on here at lunch-time.

http://www.wordmagazine.co.uk/content/the-delicious-miss-dahl#comment-25...

I know it's blowing one's own trumpet but if you can't make the FPO laugh on her b'day then we're doomed I tell ye, doomed.

http://fc01.deviantart.com/fs13/f/2007/077/2/e/Animator_vs__Animation_by...

always works for me

http://www.forkparty.com/

Pat and Susie were making passionate love in Pat's mini van when suddenly Susie, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out "Oh! Big boy, whip me, whip me!"

Pat, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, but not having any whips on hand, in a flash of inspiration opens the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Susie until they both collapse in ecstasy.

About a week later, Susie notices that the marks left by the whipping are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor.

The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks, "Did you get these marks having sex?"

Susie, a little embarrassed that she has slept with Pat, let alone that she allowed the kinky boy to whip her, eventually admits that yes, she did.

Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaims, "I thought so, because in all my years as a doctor you've got the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen".

Boom, and er, boom.

After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'

'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'

'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning..

'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kph... (Remember, the Pope is German..)

'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license and my job!' moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going over 150 kph.

'So bust him,' says the Chief.

'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed, 'All the more reason!'

'No, I mean really important.' said the cop with a bit of persistence.

The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: ' A senator?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'

Chief: 'The Prime Minister?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'

'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?'

Cop: 'I think it's God!'

The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'

Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'

....went for one of these beauty treatment thinggys....you know...a mudpack.

It worked a treat for two days.......

.....then the mud fell off!

What really, really worries Heather Mills?

Nick Clegg...................

Good cheer restored.

Let's face it - no-one died.

I've had some chips, a Guinness, watched Oil City Confidential and bathed in the milk of your human kindness.

And had a good look at Sophia Loren in her knickers.

Your work is done. Thank you.