..you have to have a nut cluster in a box of chocolates. No use filling it all with coffee creams.

.. Dave, nut clusters for me and the only thing to do with coffee creams is to throw them on the fire.

I get your point Patrick, but argue with your examples. Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts is a staggering work of towering genius or whatever it's called. A short story, a novella, with heroes, villains, victims, hanging judges who hadn't had a drink, and an album track to boot. And God knows why the splendid Houses of the Holy was omitted from the album of the same name, it would have surely added a star to the critical rating had it been included. ****, Andrew, whaddya say? Four out of five, that is.

On the chocolates theme, can you believe that I found a half-gnawed and re-wrapped Mars Bar in the Celebrations tin this morning? In the absence of any grown-up volunteers I've been told it that must have been my 20-month-old granddaughter or an Old English Sheepdog puppy but I still can't work out how they managed to re-wrap the thing. Maybe they worked as a team. Maybe I should stop eating chocolates at 9.30AM and accept that Xmas is over.

I often listen to "Revolver" and say to myself, "God I'm glad that "Yellow Submarine's" on here.
The point is interesting, but some tracks are soooo bad that you just wish they weren't there.
Continued brilliance can possibly be wearing, but constant exposure to "Lovely Rita" can be fatal.

While I can go along with your general thesis I have to disagree about Lily, Rosemary... which is probably my favourite song on the album.

I still always download a complete album, not individual tracks and tend listen to albums all the way through. I don't even know why I do it maybe I've conditioned myself to expect some highs and lows.

I've even grown to love Sandinista (maybe not in one sitting).

p.s. I always loved "Lily, Rosemary And The Jack of Hearts" as well!

Most really good albums have one that's not as good. Here are some of my suggestions (sorry so much Beatles):

Maxwell's Silver Hammer (Abbey Road)

This Wheel's On Fire (Music From Big Pink)

What Goes On (Rubber Soul)

Goin' Home (Aftermath)

Rainy Day Women 12&35 (Blonde On Blonde)

Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite (Sgt Pepper)

Revolution 9 (The White Album)

Country Honk (Let It Bleed)

And, of course, Yellow Submarine and LRATJOH. Speaking as a real Blood On The Tracks bore, LRATJOH is a fine song but doesn't work on the album. It, even more than the other four tracks recorded in Minnesota 3 months after the key New York takes, disrupts the mood completely. There's a much better album to be made using mostly officially released takes from just the New York sessions, including a far superior version of the aforementioned song. Columbia should really think about doing this, in a manner not dissimilar to Let It Be...Naked. It would be well worth it.

Anyone heard Jackson Browne's I'm Alive? Fabulous stuff. Flawless. Apart from a truly horrible song called Everywhere I Go, that sounds like UB40.

It is why 'Greatest Hits' albums are never as good as normal albums - too much cream.

Terrible song, completely at odds with the rest of the album.

Come on, this is MUCH better...

In fact, if you're as sad as I am, I believe that this is what the album should sound like:

1. Tangled Up In Blue - from The Bootleg Series 1-3
2. Simple Twist Of Fate - from Blood On The Tracks
3. You're A Big Girl Now - from Biograph
4. Idiot Wind - from The Bootleg Series 1-3
5. You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go - from Blood On The Tracks
6. Meet Me In The Morning - from Blood On The Tracks
7. Lily, Rosemary And The Jack Of Hearts - version above; the only one not commercially available
8. If You See Her, Say Hello - from The Bootleg Series 1-3
9. Shelter From The Storm - from Blood On The Tracks
10. Buckets Of Rain - from Blood On The Tracks

Bonus:

11. Call Letter Blues - from the Bootleg Series 1-3
12. Up To Me - from Biograph

This isn't just a fan's fantasy - it's pretty close to what was released as an actetate and then pulled, just using (I think) better takes. As I said, just like Let It Be...Naked. I challenge anyone to compile this and tell me it's not better than the official version.

Love - Forever Changes:

The Daily Planet and The Red Telephone are scarily brilliant peeps into the mind of Mr Lee - but sandwiched between them is Old Man. Arthur, how did Bryan Maclean convince you this was good? What the lyrics on about anyway? It could go into the Flummoxed by Pop section

Psycho Street on Richard Thompsons Rumor and Sigh and Les Boys from Dire Straits Makin Movies do not match the quality found elsewhere on the cd's.

...a track may be needed to work right with the rest of the album, but the artist can't quite come up with the goods to the same standard as the rest, but still feels it needs to be there? They would have rather not had a clunker but went with it? Then again the clunker sometimes doesn't fit anyway. Maybe they are just being perverse, having a bit of a laugh?

I wouldn't want 'Revolution 9' just to appreciate'A Day in The Life' better though - like banging your head against the wall, so good when it stops. Maybe something like 'Ballad of John and Yoko' instead.

There's just no excuse for, or benefit to be gained from, 'Fitter Happier' on 'OK Computer' though.

...always ends with a clunker. It's like the cheese course.

Now chaps, (presuming that no sensible female is going to embroiled in the likes of this) when you're down the pub later, think of all the misfit tracks that you can. We could then compile the best (worst?) 12 or 15 of them for a belated follow-up to Nuggets. Think of the spinoffs to follow;
The Greatest Clunkers In The World - Ever! Vols 1 -10
Now That's What I Call Clunkers
You Can All Clunk In
The Clunk Machine Turns You Off

By our idle debate we may yet save the record industry.

I think they do it on purpose: "Give 'em a real killer to start with, then slip the duff one in quietly while they're still congratulating themselves on having bought such a cracking album".

With double albums, the filler material is often the whole of side 2 of the first LP, on the same principle.

Usually the one written by the bass player. Unless it's an album by The Police, in which case the natural order of things is reversed. I beg to differ on the natural location for the archetypal clunker though - side two track three is usually a good bet. Now if you'll excuse me I must attend to my blushes. I'm here all week - try the fish.

Can I suggest J.P.McCartney?

Even sorrier

I knew this would happen... :-)

..each Cream studio album had a stinker by Ginger, although Pressed Rat and Warthog has grown on me over the years.

http://www.lulu.com/content/1087266

There appears to be a consensus that only those dropped at birth thought Crowded House opening 'Woodface' with 'Chocolate Cake' was a good idea. Dropping that song would also have made it a shorter and more accessible album (ie, people would have noticed tracks 12, 13 and 14).
I've been wondering what other examples there are of:
(1) Acts opening great albums with the worst song. And,
(2) Which classic albums are, from the perspective of 2008, very brief and all the better for it..? For a start there is Creedence's 'Green River' and 'Willie and the Poor Boys', and Randy Newman's 'Sail Away', none of which challenge one side of a C60.
About 7 years ago I said to the wife of a very prolific indie star that albums had become too long at 70, 75 minutes. She replied, well a music critic would say that, but a fan wouldn't.
I know what she meant but don't completely agree.

I still think whenever an album clocks in at under 45 minutes that it'd fit on one side of a 90 minute tape. I haven't actually done this for years mind you!

60 minute tapes for me were just for longer albums that I could split into two. Of course, it had to be one side on each. Very annoying when an album was less than 60 minutes but had "lopsided" sides. Well, it mattered to me anyway ;)

Lily Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts on the Youtube clip is fantastic - where can I get it? I was with the people calling it a clunker, but love that version. Played it three times on the bounce.
I can't agree with the idea of releasing an altered version of the album though - surely it is what it is, with all the mythology and discussion around it just adding to the enjoyment of it. "Let It Be" indeed.

watched Chuck Berry last night on BBC4 and amongst all the joy was the ultimate clunker "My Ding-a-Ling".
This is the man who without doubt got more boys picking up a guitar than anybody else, including me, yet when he's called to the great gig in the sky some people will remember him for the above.

ps the backing band were rubbish but he shone through!!!

Liking Maxwell's Silver Hammer but nothing else by The Beatles. No, hang on. It's worse.

My Dad used to love reminding me that I was a huge fan of Mud's Tiger Feet when I was 2.

http://www.tapedeck.org/