Entertainment For Lively Minds
Imaginary Richard Curtis / Bridget Jones film soundtrack
OK - pub discussion time.
Using your innate skill and judgement, you need to compile the soundtrack album for a Richard Curtis or Bridget Jones-style film that doesn't exist.
Give the film a name, a one sentence concept, and a list of songs that would appear in it (possibly, if you are really bored, the moment of the film where the songs would appear).
Rules:-
1. No less than 10 songs, no more than 12.
2. Must be real songs
3. Must include at least 1 cover version (a la Elvis Costello's "She" or Will Young's "Your Love Is King"). The cover versions must be real songs, and real people, but the cover doesn't have to actually exist yet. You could suggest Girls Aloud doing "Proud Mary" for instance.
4. No more rules.
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Bridget Jones 2 soundtrack
That film was so ineptly made that they had to cover up the fact that none of it was working by smothering it in endless songs. Almost every scene has a big, popular mega-hit completely dominating the soundtrack. They just smothered too many songs on at too high a volume. Dreadful, terrible movie.
Apocalypse Now has two or three songs on it, all of them being pretty memorable. Forest Gump has a half hour Vietnam sequence were they crowbarred in about ten songs, none of which leave any lasting impact.
The first Jones film is pretty good with a stupid ending. And the two books are good and are well worth reading.
Brilliant idea
But I might be some time. . . .
"Matured in oak for several millenia..."
Take your time Arch.
I'm still mulling over mine to be honest.
This whole thing began when the shuffle threw up a song I hadn't heard in a while, and I thought "someone should use that".
Right here goes...
The film is called I Should be Working but its Friday and I Can't Be Bothered and the basic premise is the same one that Richard Curtis has been rehashing over and over again since Four Weddings and a bloody Funeral.
The Skatalites: Music is My occupation - Opening credits montage sequence where as the main character finds their way to work and series of small incidents provide us with evidence that he/she is bumbling, lovable and has a heart of gold (helps old lady across street, trips over small dog, misses bus, etc)
Joan Jett: I love Rock and roll - To signal the arrival of the kooky best freind/flatmate/work colleague.
Anything by Ray Barretto or Tito Puente - the bit where they wander through some leafy part of London and there's lots of shots of interesting ethnic characters laughing and charming street stalls and cafes and the scene ends as the camera pans out and looks over the bustling cosmopolitan multicultural city (but not the bit where the black kids knife each other).
Ryan Adams - La Cienega Just Smiled - Soppy bit
Amy Winehouse - Love is a Losing Game - The bit where they pass a restaurant, look inside and misunderstand a perfectly innocent situation and think the object of their affections is shagging soemone else and walk home in the rain.
Bobby Bland - Two Steps from the Blues - soppy bit
Duffy covering Nobody Does it Better - the sex scene (in a lift, breifly interupted by two little old ladies who comicly raise their eyebrows when the lift doors open)
Stephen Fretwell - Emily - soppy bit.
X Ray Spex - World turned Dayglo - The bit where someone has to dash through traffic to an airport/wedding/train station to stop the person they love from emigrating/marrying someone else/moving to Bristol.
Elton John - tiny Dancer - Soppy climax that leaves you uplifted and inspired for about 35 seconds until you realise what a teetering pile of emotionally exploitative rubbish you've just watched.
Class Niks, bloody class.
That is priceless.
When "Love Actually" comes on the box my partner likes to watch it and I find myself watching it and mildly enjoying it I suppose.
But like KFC I feel awful after.
Filmed in Supermarionation
Film Name - "Stem the Flow"
Synopsis - Bumbling, floppy haired, posh casualty doctor (who looks uncannily like Hugh Grant) goes to buy apology flowers to try and win back his nasty ex-girlfriend, but falls for working class girl in flower shop. He'll probably save her life at some point too. The bloody fool.
1. I Know You Well - Fountains Of Wayne
Scene setting parallel lives cobblers. They don't actually know each other yet, though. Can you see what I've done there?
2. Sweet About Me - Gabriella Cilmi
Flower girl - she's so spunky!
3. The World - Nick Heyward
Doctor dumped by shrew, and he's the only person in creation who thinks this might be a bad thing.
4. Delta Lady - Joe Cocker
Doctor & flower girl meet. Doctor forgets the shrew.
5. Breakfast In Bed - Dusty Springfield
They shag. And have breakfast. In Bed.
6. You See The Trouble With Me - Barry White
He has no doubts. And dances crazily to prove it.
7. Titanic Days - Kirsty MacColl
She has doubts, but he begins to win her over. As the chorus starts.
8. Wild Horses - Amy Winehouse *
He still has no doubts.
9. I'll Be Around - Detroit Spinners
She loses doubts. In a montage.
10.Woman To Woman - Joe Cocker
Girls fight - Flower girl badly injured by shrew. Accidentally. Or is it?
11.Wild Wood - Paul Weller
Doctor tries to save flower girl. Through his tears. Ah, bless.
12.One Day Like This - Elbow
He does save her. Hurrah. Yes.
*imaginary cover a-go-go
'Yummy Chocolate and Sexy Shoes'...
is a film about three twenty-something single women who live for eating chocolate and buying shoes after having decided all men are useless bastards. It features...
'You're Beautiful' - James Blunt
'Easy' - The Commodores
'Dancing Queen' - Abba
'Material Girl' - Madonna
'No Woman, No Cry' - Bob Marley & The Wailers
'It's Raining Men' - The Weather Girls
'Weather With You' - Crowded House
'Sugar Sugar' - The Archies
'I Will Survive' - Gloria Gaynor
'9 To 5' - Dolly Parton
and last but not least...
'Careless Whisper' - Pete Docherty
'Careless Whisper' - Pete Docherty
Wow, that is genius. I would put myself in mild peril to cop a load of that.