Entertainment For Lively Minds
If Paul Weller is going to have his mid-life crisis, why can't he just buy a motorbike?
Posted by David Hepworth on 20 December 2008 - 12:29pm.
According to the papers Paul Weller, who was fifty earlier this year, has left his partner of 13 years and moved in with a 23-year-old backing singer. Obviously some long-time Paul Weller disciples will think this is all a conspiracy by the Daily Mail but let's say it isn't. If you had a fifty-year-old friend who left the mother of his children and took up with somebody half his age, wouldn't you give him a talking-to about his declining dignity and loosening grip on reality? And if this friend also happened to be somebody who had always been free with the advice to other people about how they should behave and how society should be organised wouldn't you be just *embarrassed* for him?
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Look at
Ronnie Wood.How pathetic is that situation?
By the time they get to 50
isn't it a bit late to start challenging the solipsistic bubble that our rock star have lived their gilded lives in. I always liked wellers music but haven't read an interview with him years his constant pompous moaning is just annoying.
This latest episode is just another example of rock stars twisted sense of entitlement.
ps. The back singer also has some moral responsibilty in this.
It's pretty pathetic
but in the ill-judged-and-undignified stakes it doesn't come close to:
A) that covers album he did recently
B) his David Bowie in Labyrinth hairdo.
A)
Do you mean "22 Demos"?
No, this nonsense:
If I wanted to hear an elephant seal belching 'Wishing On A Star' I'd go to the sodding circus.
Sheeesh. I missed that one.
Lucky escape, by the sound of it.
Know anyone who wants a second-hand copy of "22 Demos"?
haircut from Labryinth you say
excellent another chance to air one of my most popular Flickr pics!!
Hahaha
10/10!
Extraordinarily common
how so many people who profess high levels of integrity leave a partner and kids to shack up with someone from work. Weller is just one of the many but with a media profile. So we all know he's a cock.
So being unfortunate enough...
...to be in a disintegrating relationship immediately makes someone a cock? I assume, unless you have inside knowledge of the Weller domestic setup, his now ex-partner is *also* a cock?
Ok, so I may be believing what is being reported
but the facts, as reported, is that the relationship disintegrated as Weller got involved with his backing singer. If he was out of his relationship before he started his new one then I am wrong and he isn't a cock. If he played away whilst still in a relationship (with kids), then, in my opinion, he is a cock.
If there's one thing I hate...
its the smugness of people in life long relationships pontificating on the lives of others whose relationships don't go the distance. You got lucky, now shut the **** up and leave the rest of us alone!
Hmmm - bit harsh
Not sure we are right to judge the guy. It sounds like the relationship with his partner didn't work out and was already over when he started to get to know his new girlfriend. It doesn't say he walked out just like that. It says the split is amicable. We don't really know the truth of the situation, we hardly know these people at all in fact - who are we to call him a cock and condemn him. I should imagine it's hard to maintain a relationship with someone when you are a musician - on the road a lot etc. That sounds like making excuses but I think it's a factor. Anyway if we all had our behaviour in the spotlight throughout our lives - and having all our occasionally ill-thought out remarks and thoughts scrutinised, and our contradictions and inconsistencies analysed, how we would we look? Not so great at times I suspect. Gracs right - it's not so easy for some of us to find a relationship that lasts. This kind of trial by gossip based on tabloid stories I find rather unpalatable.
Mind your own business.
I'm very suprised to see someones personal life speculated about on the basis of Daily Mail gossip.
I lost interest in him years ago but regardless of that ,is this really anyones business other than those involved ?
However as for that ridiculous perma-tanned Mod-mulleted look he has ... now thats what I call shameful.
True - he's too old for his haircut
Now that's a bitter pill he should swallow.
*edit* Just to clarify I agree it's not really our business, I was pointing out that we don't know the truth (no one does except those involved) but the Mail piece does suggest that it wasn't him just walking out - not that we can necessarily believe what we are reading anyway. And I don't assume such an age gap means it's not a valid relationship either.
No chance with the string section?
Are they sure she's a "backing singer"?..the now, obligatory string section are,invariably,gorgeous ..too "posh" i spose?
Truth is, David,
if I had a fifty-ish mate who shacked up with a 23 year old, irrespective of his previous domestic arrangements I'd give him a severe talking-to.
When you're 50ish, pretty 23 year olds are for looking at from a wistful distance. It's tough to accept, but there it is.
Salutary tale
A close mate of mine - my best man - confessed that he was leaving his delightful wife of 20 odd years and two teenage daughters to run off with someone he met in a station waiting room. He agonized a lot and I consistently maintained the position of honest mate, pointing out the transitory nature of mid life crisis flings, how much he had to lose, the massive collateral damage etc. I pointed out in a final attempt to talk some sense into him there was a strong probability that within 3 years he'd be alone in a bedsit somewhere. Needless to say after a year with new woman he left her too - bound for a bedsit.......sadly my accurate prediction was a bit of honesty too far and we haven't spoken for years. In some ways I wish I'd taken the easier path of "whoar, yer good onya mate" that others took.
But for every salutary tale...
It's never that clear cut.
Almost exactly 9 years ago I left my wife (of 15 years) and my two boys (12 and 10 at the time) for another woman I met at work.
I won't pretend it was ever easy - on anyone - but 9 years later I am happily married to the 'second' Mrs W and the two boys (now 19 and 21) are both in the middle of university courses and are as well-adjusted and sensible as I could have hoped for. My ex-wife is also, so far as I can tell, settled and happy in her new life and, while I would never pretend there was no hurt and pain involved, I honestly believe that things have turned out ok for all of us.
Does that make me a 'cock'?
Probably.
Unique?
No, this is happening daily to thousands of couples and families.
Not really sure what I'm trying to say here other than that things are never as clear cut as they might seem from the outside. I did what I did and - although I'm by no means proud of it - I'd do the same thing if I had my time all over again.
However I would suggest everyone avoided the moral high ground - it's a touch slippy up there.
No moral high ground here
I certainly am not taking the moral high ground - I was gutted when they split up and even more gutted to lose a mate over it. And he's certainly not a cock. Mind you I didn't say he was. Frequently no one wins in that situation, unless someone comes out of it happier, which paradoxically his Mrs did - met someone else, who is nice to her (which he rarely was) - wedding next spring!
I'll ask Mrs Futurenoir
as she went to school with, and is a friend of Weller's current partner (not the 23 year old.) She's away doing the xmas visiting rounds of her friends at the moment and she'll be visiting a few of her old schoolfriends, so maybe she'll have some insider info when she gets back!
Leave him be!
You have no idea what the state of his relationship was before the split, if indeed there is a split.
I expect more from Word's designated grown-up than this sort of posting.
Hmmm
Not quite in the Squirrelgate league, I guess, but looks like some of the Massive are girding their loins for a scrap here.
I don't think we need to 'leave him be' as such - I'm sure Weller can look after himself.
I think David got to the real crux of the matter in his closing sentence. I'm actually not bothered by Weller shacking up with a 23-year-old. For a start, the thread so far doesn't seem to have dwelt on whether the 23-year-old played a pretty active role in the whole affair or indeed even had a choice in the matter. There will always be more to it than we know.
The thing with Weller is surely his aggressive, opinionated, 'everything has to be a mission statement' persona. I think this makes him an obvious target - justified or not - when he appears to do something 'foolish'.
with
Ellen on Chris and Gwynnie, now Hepworth on Weller surely the next cover star must be Kerry Katona who will be revealing the truth behind the bizarre love triangle* rumours to Kate Mossman
*surely you've seen the Iceland ads?
nah
it's one of the Noles
That'd be...
"Those thieving Noles" presumably?
I read that as...
"the bizarre love triangle rumours with Kate Mossman"
David's link
is actually to the Daily (Hurrah for the Blackshirts) Mail online - cheers, Dave. The story seems to be referring to a story in the Sun newspaper. Top quality journalism all round.
I can't see how any of this...
..is relevant, or indeed anyones business.
Weller can say what he wants and live with who he wants.
"Normal" people do this stuff every day, and all of those people have opinions. The fact that those people don't have your lot asking them for those opinions (sometimes over 4 or 5 pages) or taking an interest in their relationships, is neither here nor there.
I can't help
but think of the Fast Show's leather-trousered pony-tailed mid-life crisis man and his teenage girlfriend (he appears briefly at the end of this sketch) -
Diane Seely
or DC Lee (see what she did there), is that the backing singer he's chucked?
Puzzled by this post
Twenty years ago, another married major rock star left his wife and kids and shacked up with a backing singer. Thing is, she was only four years younger than him, so Bruce Springsteen and Patti Scialfa were largely spared the waggy finger of universal opprobrium.
What we can conclude from this is that the age factor is the only thing that makes these stories news. And although the tales of rich, successful, middle-aged men with trophy wives who are decades younger than them do cause alarm bells to ring (hi, Heather!), is it really an Unassailable Truth of Human Nature that such relationships can never work? Do we assume they can't work because the imbalance between the life experiences of the two parties involved is too great? Do we assume that the woman couldn't possibly be interested in the man for his body, while the man couldn't possibly be interested in the woman for anything else? And even in cases where that may be true, why do we disapprove of people getting into relationships mainly for material security or sex? In millions and millions of cases, isn't that what Chroo Love boils down to?
When we expect people to act their age, why does that preclude relating in any meaningful way with anyone considerably older/younger than them?
Going no further than Word Towers, do the two Principal Wordsters have working relationships/friendships with Kate Mossman that are somehow of less value than those they have with the staffers who aren't (I'm guessing) 30 years younger than them, because the only way to be on the same wavelength as the Principal Wordsters is by having been born in time to sit through support performances by the Sutherland Brothers & Quiver?
One of my best friends - probably my closest friend, in fact, in terms of how often we phone each other - is 22 years younger than me, and was only half my age when we met. As it happens, she's a woman. As it also happens, she's very attractive. The suggestion that our relationship (which isn't sexual, but there's no reason why - under very different circumstances - it couldn't or shouldn't have been) is somehow inappropriate solely because of that age difference is a bit, shall we say, puzzling.
People can relate to one another on more levels than having watched the same Blue Peter presenters, you know.
Once again...
the wisest person on this forum nails it! Cheers Archie, you've articulated my thoughts on this one FAR better than I ever could myself. One small detail though, Springsteen didn't have kids by his first wife which I'm sure made the whole episode a little easier for all concerned.
Age difference
Funny how these middle aged men never find they can "relate" better to someone older than their current partner or themselves, isn't it?
"Never"?
Patti Scialfa is eight years older than Springsteen's first wife.
Older? Yoko?
Anyone ... ?
A pedant writes
John Lennon wasn't middle aged at the time.
I'll give you that, although
on his own terms, at 27, he was actually well past his middle age.
Out pedanted
You have a point.
Hear Hear..
Archie. I married a younger woman (only 11 years, but still) and I'd like to see anyone tell me I did the wrong thing.
I happen to have opinions too...
(Dave, I still think you're fab.)
Interesting to see...
....no women have posted on this subject.
I understand that. . .
Ms Ciccone (11 years Guy Ritchie's senior and considerably older than all her other known beaus [beaux?]) is otherwise engaged.
Interesting?
I'd say it was impossible, David, because there aren't any on this website, let alone this thread. Can you come down off your high horse, please. This is none of your business. You and Mr. Ellen often look down your noses at Mr. Weller (e.g. incredulous chat re: his kids at public school as if everything was so black and white, Weller curses profusely shock horror etc.) but you're not averse to sticking him on the cover of your list collection, eh? :-D
Ladies visit here?
*straightens tie and leans nonchalantly against the fireplace with cigar and brandy in hand*
*proffers petrol station flowers*
Has a woman ever
posted anything here?
offence taken
i left my wife of 20 years. I am in a relationship with a woman who worked for me so thats 2 black marks in the court of hepworth.
It cost me a fortune financially , emotionally my son still doesn't speak to me 2 years and daughter sees me rarely. I had a brweak down from the pain and anguish,
My point - you sanctimonious sod is - dont thinkjust because one is 50 one necesssarily just hops on a new bike coz its shiney and the old one creaks a bit. A lot of pain endures on all sides.
Re older men younger women - my mum is 12 years older than my father,-big scandal in country town
re lack of response to to female bloggers -how many female bloggers or even subscribers tothe word are there- i suspect it is like the crowd at a who concert -a blokes thing
Sanctimony strikes.........
Another of those heartless bastards writes, yep, shit happens, often when you least expect. And thank christ it did, with all the parties actually the better off, emotionally, than before. OK, some blood/sweat/tears/jism (copyright Zevon,W) spilt in the process. However, caution is best applied when the gap becomes >1o years. I have a friend whose TV and hit single memories are all in black and white, which makes conversation with his technicolour younger wife difficult. 80 year old Weller may not be be so appealing to his 40 something girlfriend in the future. In the immortal style of Mrs Merton, what could she posssibly have seen in millionaire musician Paul Weller? Or, as my (2nd) father in law says, where will her boyfriends live.....
For clarity's sake
I wouldn't want anyone to have the idea that I think that people of different ages shouldn't marry, remarry and reproduce regardless of age. I wish everyone all the happiness they can get.
Nonetheless it is an observable fact that successful, rich and famous male rock stars (and Madonna) often trade in for a younger model and sometimes they do it repeatedly.
It's a bit like news reading teams. He gets older. She gets younger.
The phenomenon's hardly a rock preserve
Julio Iglesias's dad sired a child who he wouldn't live to see born - sad, yes, but hardly surprising - he was 90 at the time and his wife was a full half century his junior. Iglesias Sr. was wealthy in his own right - in one of life's great ironies, he'd been the founder of Madrid's first family planning clinic.
(Rupert Murdoch is another one: 38 years older than the current Mrs M, who is ten years younger than his eldest child by his first marriage.)
And of course it's only ageing rock stars who do this....
Or perhaps you know a disproportionate amount of rock stars if you really think this is more commonplace in Rockville than in Realworld. Sixteen years ago my 25 year old wife left me for a man twice her age I can assure you this happens just as much outside the echelons of the groovies, luvvies and the rocktastic. I've seen it happen to several friends (male and female) and I've also learned along the way that the very worst thing you can do in any break up scenario is take sides or express strong opinions because whatever you do or say someone gets hurt and you will be wrong.
Whilst I'm sure Mr Weller won't give a rancid fart for anyone's opinion on here, it may prove unhelpful the next time the Word wants an interview, photoshoot or quote from him. I'm not his biggest fan but I do appreciate that he is always good value in print.
My earlier comments were not flippant:
In my job I see a fair few elderly frail demented men of 85+ with trophy wives in their 60s, much fitter and more able and not a little frustrated with their lot in life. Very few sex reversed situations, but can occur, albeit rarely, the male being far more likely to bugger off when the going gets rough, than the female. And a few, to be true, do seem to relish the nappy changing of their sophisticated father figure........
Didn't DC Lee
leave him for another woman? I'm sure that's the case.
Lets face it...
10 years with Weller would send any woman into the arms of Sappho.
And Karl Marx knocked up his servant
Morals and Essex, innit.
Paul Weller had a servant?
I know his kids go to a private school. Its like Red Wedge didn't work....
As opposed to its resounding success?
.
What I don't understand is...
...this. More than in any other workplace environment, Paul Weller could have shagged younger women every week and on the basis of 'what goes on tour, stays on tour' might have maintained a happy (if disloyal) relationship at home.
Now I don't know whether Paul Weller took up this opportunity or not, but it strikes me that he really fell for this backing singer to leave his partner with all the consequent emotional and financial fallout.
If a mate of mine did this, I'd stand by him and sympathise with her (and vice versa). If my sister's husband did it, I'd think he was a c*nt.
Stop being so sanctimonious
Well said Retropath2. If Weller's 13-year relationship has run its course, that's sad but it's between the couple. So long as Weller ensures she and the kids are properly cared for, as befits any human being leaving his or her spouse but especially a wealthy one, so be it.
If he wants to take up with another adult exercising free will and a desire to be happy, so be it. He's living his life, we're living ours, good luck to them all, good luck to us, let's move on.
And while we're slagging off rock stars...
how come Bryan Ferry hasn't come in for some stick!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1092585/Bryan-Ferry-takes-s...
That Bryan Ferry
is a bit of a cock. Whose next to be named and shamed?
Count me in as a cock
I got divorced from my first wife about 14 years ago.Officially she divorced me on the grounds of adultery.The reality is that I was a faithful husband for 12 years and only sought another relationship after she told me the marriage was over and had rented her own house and took my then 4 year old son with her.Moral of this is dont believe everything you read in the press - in normal peoples lives the reality is different to the perception. In the case of celebrities even more so.
I proceeded to fall in love with and marry the most amazing woman I have ever met and she is my greatest friend too. Will it last forever? I hope so but dont have any guarantees. Should I be castigated if it goes tits up? Certainly not. Our lives are not mapped out for us and each day is a learning experience. We certainly shouldnt throw stones at others frailties.It also amuses me that for example Paul McCartney having met Heather Mills when she wore the braless skin tight red sweater remarked in an interview that she had an interesting mind. Yeah right!!
Also, two of my favourite artists ie Richard Thompson and Elvis Costello have both dumped their wives for newer models in the past without this criticism. Is it more because we think collectively that Paul Weller now needs a bit of a kicking?
Paul Weller
Paul Weller.
Essay topics for discussion.
Paul Weller--all style and no substance?
Paul Weller--Peter Pan?
Paul Weller--Pseudo working-class hero?
Paul Weller--Don't talk about him when he's gone he just had to move on? Cold moments
Paul Weller--Nightmare without a soul or 22 dreams?
Quiz--Which of the 7 Dwarfs does Weller most ressemble.--Clue-- not the happy ones.
Now Tony Robinson's on the case..
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1101931/How-Baldrick-fell-girl...
No doubt this is part of Baldrick's cunning plan for sexual world domination. Right, being the contrary so and so that I am, I'm off to shack up with a woman twice my age. Anyone know any decent looking 92 years olds out there?
but Wellers always been a dickhead.
its all down to his deprived east-end upbringing apparently, he didnt even know his grandma very well.
Now, the Richard Thompson thing is interesting. I think I might start a new thread.
weller
a couple of things for the david hepworth:
(i) surely you are old enough to realise that one, or even a couple of photos, or even first hand events for that matter, does not tell you enough to form an informed opinion upon another's state of mind/mid-life crisis etc.
(ii) if your analysis of paul weller's "situation" is correct : do you really want him to behave like everybody else ?
(iii) is this "word" or "smash hits" ?
get a grip for god's sake
mind you
a damn fine pair of pins on this latest filly of his, if I dare say...