That's a wonderful poem, Simon. I'm a complete nut on the subject of Larkin. One of the only teenage enthusiasms I've kept, whole, into adulthood. Yeah, that too.

Hope you're doing OK.

not knowing you, i'm not sure what you're moving on from ... given the way some folk leave this website, it might be, simply, The Word ... or it could be a job, or a way of life which would seems more likely given the content of the Larkin poem ...

earlier today i sent an email to a friend ... she turns 50 next year ... earlier this year she had to deal with the death of her father; her mother is on the waiting list for a care home; there are other family & money complications and, she really wants to kick away from her job (financial services) and do something else ... life has crowded in on her ... what props her up is her husband - plus the fact that they can still afford to get the hell away for the occasional holiday and go walking in the mountains

i'm the same age as her and it's a bugger ... i feel cheesed off because i'm skint although there are a bunch of friends i have who have fewer money worries but they seem equally keen to "walk out on the whole crowd" although that may be a response to weariness ... the real content of midlife crisis

(but for all i know you're pushing 30, not 50, and your need to move on comes from a different source)...

i think maybe what keeps me going is curiosity ... where i live there are always new consumer experiences (shops, restaurants, bars, wines, real ales, whiskies, foodstuffs or whatever you're into - fine if you have money and aren't too jaded) but the accessible cultural resources can pale after a decade or three since those don't change at anywhere near the same rate... that implies some sort of departure

and people lose faith ... both in their future and in the thought of a 'step backwards' too... faithless and fixed, lost in the location you know best - it's no wonder folk have affairs in their 40s ...

but what the fek do i know ... sitting here with green tea, chain-eating oatcakes ... except to say, maybe quite a few folk are waiting for 'departures', to places where they can realise themselves

about your friends, but usually any advice is the wrong advice.

People usually do whatever they were going to do anyway.

Hope it works out, whichever route you choose. I have no advice, other than to let you know that once one makes a major change, life still continues on the other side.

Good luck to you...

But I would just like to say that I think this thread shows this site at its absolute best.

Good people with good intentions.

Its nice to know that there is a nice, sane, safe place on the web.

Thats it, nothing profound or deep.

Its just nice. (IMHO of course)

What's going on?

we have to get so close to somewhere we aren't that we can practically smell what it would be like to be there before we realise that we're perfectly happy where we are.

I was baffled by the original post- I just didn't understand the poem. Thought it maybe had some strange reference to Take That, but the comments by others made me realise there was something deeper going on. Only on checking the full poem, and noting the vital punctuation within the verse, do I get the gist of it.

Never having read much of Larkin (other than the standard "sexual experience" quote, which, on reading that whole poem, takes on a different hue. Not just a smutty observation, then...) he looks an interesting read. Any recommendations?

Good luck to you, Simon- as mentioned above, life will take its course- it's what happens "while you're busy making other plans".

The full Larkin poem below- with the important inverted commas.

Philip Larkin - Poetry Of Departures

Sometimes you hear, fifth-hand,
As epitaph:
"He chucked up everything
And just cleared off,"
And always the voice will sound
Certain you approve
This audacious, purifying,
Elemental move.

And they are right, I think.
We all hate home
And having to be there:
I detect my room,
It's specially-chosen junk,
The good books, the good bed,
And my life, in perfect order:
So to hear it said

"He walked out on the whole crowd"
Leaves me flushed and stirred,
Like "Then she undid her dress"
Or "Take that you bastard";
Surely I can, if he did?
And that helps me to stay
Sober and industrious.
But I'd go today,

Yes, swagger the nut-strewn roads,
Crouch in the fo'c'sle
Stubbly with goodness, if
It weren't so artificial,
Such a deliberate step backwards
To create an object:
Books; china; a life
Reprehensibly perfect.

for all the unexpected , and kind comments and thoughts, as I said its nothing maudlin or over dramatic , just feeling an urge to ,as Steve Jobs said, in that wonderful clip from the other week "stay hungry and stay foolish".
I've worked in the "caring" sector for 25 years now, and I feel worn out and tired, I'm stuck in a nasty little town in north west Hampshire with hardly any "art" or "Music"or "Theatre" or anything other than Multi-plex cinema to speak of and I need some beauty and joy in my life and social environment...and Yes your right the poem is advocating staying, however I'm just feeling very aware that I don't want to settle down in an environment where I'm not fulfilled. that is all.

now Iunderstand your predicament. I think most of us have periods where our job is less than rewarding, where our relationships are at best stuck in a rut or at worst absolutely destructive. Usually art and music are my default buttons for any such predicament. To live in a place where access to such releases is not available must be pretty awful to be honest. Coupled with working in what must be one of the most demanding sectors there is would surely exacerbate the situation. I wish you well in whatever decisions you make but music and the arets in general are pretty bloody essential.