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I read a book once. It was green.

Andy Barrons's picture

Currently ripping through 'The Count of Monte Cristo' which is a rain-forest worrying 1243 pages long - not including the notes at the end.

By far and away the longest book I've ever attempted.

In my usual spirit of intellectual dwarfism I have only one question - what's the longest book you've ever read?

To completion. And was it worth it?

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No many

I usually don't go over 400 pages because I know that I'm likely to give up, more because I can't resist starting something new than out of dissatisfaction with the current read.
That said, I struggled through Middlemarch, but can't remember a word of it, and flew through Moby Dick, which is surely one of the greatest novels ever written.

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Gatz | 2 July 2009 - 3:12pm

"Moby Dick, which is surely

one of the greatest novels ever written"

2 redundant words - "one", "of" - and one redundant plural - in above sentence.

Otherwise, perfect.

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Sheev | 2 July 2009 - 4:48pm

Being a bit of a live Led Zeppelin obsessive

I can't say the title of that book without echoing the 'Dick' and preferencing it by...

"John Henry Bonham! Moby Dick-ick-ick-ick!"

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stimpy | 2 July 2009 - 4:52pm

wasn't just Melville...

that needed an editor, then.

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Roy Levy | 4 July 2009 - 2:47pm

I'm slightly hurt, but...

I hope my occasional Word blogs are less in need of editing.

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Melville | 5 July 2009 - 8:48pm

Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace

I have Infinite Jest at home waiting for me, looming on my shelf, daring me to take it down and crack its spine. But Im so very afraid. Seriously big book. Is it worth it ? Anyone ?

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On The Fence | 2 July 2009 - 3:24pm

Infinite Jest

I have it lined up as this year's holiday read. Wish me luck.

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Fraser Lewry | 2 July 2009 - 3:39pm

Infinite Jest

Oh my God, I've been trying to read that for about ten years. Never got more than halfway through.

I read a lot of long books though: I do like value for money!!

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SimonL | 2 July 2009 - 3:51pm

Yes, it is

It really is - you need to stick with it, tho, the first few pages are tough going.

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timjulian | 2 July 2009 - 5:02pm

"The first few pages are tough going"

That's the litmus test failed, then.

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Stan Halen | 8 July 2009 - 12:35am

think I'm clocking up 15 years on the shelf for that one

I need to really really psyche myself up for it, I may be ready by about 2012 (but maybe not!!)

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Oscar Patterson | 2 July 2009 - 5:07pm

Infinite Jest...

...is the most amazing, engrossing and imaginative book you'll read.

But you'll need two bookmarks. One for the text, and one for the footnotes.

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oops | 2 July 2009 - 9:05pm

Infinite Jest

I tried. Lord knows I tried.

It stayed in the khazi for months. Andrex works much better.

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lennylaw | 2 July 2009 - 10:17pm

I've never even heard of Infinite Jest

but, based on what I've just seen here, and the reviews on Amazon, it sounds intriguing.

Just added it to my basket for the next big Amazon order

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stimpy | 3 July 2009 - 7:57am

In short, no

It took me four attempts to finish this, and I finally cracked it by taking it on holiday and spending the entire first week and a bit reading it from cover to cover (not even any footnotes were skipped). Parts of it were enjoyable, but on the whole it wasn't worth the effort at all. The worst thing? That the the plot described on the back cover (the search for the film so entertaining it puts its viewers into a catatonic trance of bliss, or something like that) doesn't really feature at all. The film (or "the entertainment", or "the cartridge" - both terms are used in the book) is mentioned a few times, but the book as a whole is mainly about recovering drug addicts, tennis players, and a small band of wheelchair-bound terrorists. It was a massive disappointment for me, as I so wanted to love it.

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Nasalhair | 9 July 2009 - 1:11pm

War and Peace

is a serious commitment which I will hesitate to do again.

Neal Stephenson has written a trilogy of books called The Baroque Cycle - each one is well over 800 pages. I gave up after the second one.

Stephen King's IT is well worth the thousand or so pages.

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Charlie Gordon | 2 July 2009 - 3:34pm

Neal Stephenson's

Cryptonomicon is probably my longest single volume read at about 900 pages, and it's an astonishing and engaging story encompassing the history of cryptography since WWII within a fictional framing device. I learnt more about Enigma and how WWII was won from this book than from so-called "proper" history books.

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Fraser M | 2 July 2009 - 3:38pm

Fine book that

and I would never have heard of it if it wasn't for this place. Cheers.

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Pat Carty | 2 July 2009 - 3:59pm

Quicksilver

Agreed - but have you tried this, or any other book in his Baroque Cycle? After about 80 pages of plotlessness I'm afraid to say I gave up on Quicksilver, which is a real shame. I know 4 other Stephenson fans, all of whom have failed to finish this book.

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starkley | 3 July 2009 - 11:28am

You know another now...

After Cryptonomicon, Quicksilver was immensely disappointing, and simply illustrated he needed an editor with a large red pen.

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oops | 4 July 2009 - 8:32am

Make that six

I tried Quicksilver after lots of people raving about Stephenson on the blog and the podcast. I managed to get half-way through. It was certainly interesting but not interesting enough to make me want to persevere with it.

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Con Coleman | 10 July 2009 - 10:50am
Chris G | 2 July 2009 - 3:38pm

Pedant alert...

"I read a book once. Green, it was"

These things sorta get stuck in my head...

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waldorf | 2 July 2009 - 3:44pm

Quite right

Brian Glover delivered that memorable line.

Which I managed not to remember.

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Andy Barrons | 2 July 2009 - 6:14pm

I think he spoke about the sex life of frogs later in the scene.

My one: Roger Lewis's biography of Peter Sellers is pretty close to 800 pages long. Lewis begins in awe of Sellers's film work but discovers that his hero is, in his opinion, a shabby human being. I would actually spend time at work excited by the thought of getting home and reading another chunk.

It does repeat itself after the first 550 pages and, as Lewis's cousin points out in his Grub Street memoir, he always goes over the word count. Lewis sets out to write the definitive biography of Peter Sellers. He leaves no stone unturned. There's a huge bibliography. There's even an appendix on the issue of Sellers's sexuality which concludes, unsurprisingly, that he was heterosexual. There's a lot of detail about variety, radio, television and the British film industry in the 1950s and I like that. Lewis loves a nugget too. It may not be strictly relevant but a short aside about Terry-Thomas's final words or the sad decline of Dennis Price is always a bonus.

We can also be sure that Sellers did not have sex with Princess Margaret. That's just one of the things I have learned from the longest book I have read. I think I should make a start on the Robert Fisk.

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Robin Clarke | 2 July 2009 - 10:43pm

Proust !

"Remembrance of Things Past" came in three thumping great volumes , each over 1,000 pages. I was reading between college years, but I had got to about 100 pages into the third volume when I had to return to full time education.

I was enjoying it too ! But somehow I suspect won't be starting it again unless I find myself detained at Her Majesty's Pleasure.

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Doods | 2 July 2009 - 3:51pm

I finished it

while wating for a job to start. The first half was as good as any fiction I’ve read, and I can see why Proust is regarded as one of the classics of the twentieth century.

Unfortunately, an obsessive love affair comes to dominate the second half, making it heavy going in parts – and these could be thirty or forty page stretches. You might have finished at the right point.

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Melville | 2 July 2009 - 4:08pm

A Dance To The Music Of Time

Every 4 or 5 years I put aside a summer to re-read it from soup to nuts (or, for those who know the book - from brazier to explosions)

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stimpy | 2 July 2009 - 3:53pm

Moby Dick

Yes definitely worth it one of the greatest ever books

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MrRadio | 2 July 2009 - 4:04pm

Ulysses

I had to read this as an undergrad, and I needed a few attempts to get to the end and get some sort of basic, exam question attempting understanding out of it. Not half the book that the mighty "Count of Monte Cristo" is. If you're a real gluton for punishment you should give the complete d'Artagnan Romances a go. It will take you a while though.

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Pat Carty | 2 July 2009 - 4:05pm

The Kindly Ones

Currently halfway through this 983 page fictional memoir of an SS Officer, after a week and a half, and I'm not on holiday. By turns it is compelling, repellant, horrifying, hugely informative, deeply disturbing and even, in places, dull. If ever a book needed a better editor this is it. But it's a stunning achievement, especially for a writer (Jonathan Littell) on only his second novel.

I don't think I've tackled anything over 1,000 pages, but I have read "Gravity's Rainbow", "V" and "Bleak House", which put me off Dickens for life, so far.

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Rufus T Firefly | 2 July 2009 - 4:40pm

just finished...

cormac mcarthy's 'border trilogy'

technically three novels, but i bought them in one edition, and the page numbers go up to 1037, so i'm counting it.

worth it?

oh yes.

word of warning though - much of the dialogue is in spanish, with no translation. my rusty grasp of the language got me through, but i lived there for three years. could piss some people off if they bought it and realised that much of the dialogue is impossible to understand.

if three novels in one don't count, then John Fowles The Magus is 676 pages.

worth it?

oh yes.

re dickens comments above - great expectations beats all of them imo, and it's shorter than most.

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colsafc | 2 July 2009 - 5:07pm

Can we include non-fiction?

I just finished Richard Rhodes' The Making of the Atomic Bomb. Self-explanatory. really. Except that it covers the history of nuclear science from the beginning of the 20th century, including biographies of all the major scientists, plus the lead up to the war, plus the politics behind the implementation and use of the bomb. It's hugely engrossing, but you have to take it slowly (10 pages at a time). Pages ? 700, I think...

He did a sequel (!). Dark Sun. About the hydrogen bomb. I'm waiting for a suitably long holiday to start that...

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oops | 2 July 2009 - 9:09pm

both great books

esp the first...really gives some insights into what doing science is like too.

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Jim Thomas | 3 July 2009 - 11:25am

Forget the books

When is the album by Infinite Jest coming out?

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jamie d | 2 July 2009 - 9:13pm

War and Peace

I enjoyed it, once I'd got a handle on all the characters, which didn't happen overnight. It took me a few months to read the first thousand pages but it was downhill after that and I knocked off the last 500 in a couple of weeks. If that makes it sound like a trial of strength rather than a book it's because I don't have Tolstoy's command of language.

I've also 'done' Ulysses. That took a while. Every single word carries so much meaning and is so carefully chosen it's more like reading a poem than a novel. You can't switch off for a moment. 900 pages of intellectual effort required and I found I could often only manage 10 pages at a time. It is good though yes I mean yes I'm glad I read it yes.

I've only got Finnegan's Wake left to go in the Joyce canon but that's currently looking like one of my "after I've retired" projects - along with learning the Uillean Pipes and clearing out the loft.

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sjc1970 | 2 July 2009 - 10:13pm

Shout

Currently re-reading, after about 20 years, Philip Norman's fantastic 'Shout' (great title as well, incidentally). Part of a rather good 'rock music' paperback box set (available from a certain supermarket that dare not speak its name in polite society) I was given as a present by the GLW recently. Norman makes it clear he is a 'John' rather than a 'Paul' person, and that's fine, if we must take sides. Just wondering whether to invest in his 'John Lennon - The Life'. My initial impression is that it is a bit weighty, given that it dwarfs 'Shout' - about the whole band after all. Any recommendations?

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DougieJ | 2 July 2009 - 10:22pm

Go for Miles' Macca biog instead

It's a doorstop but it's as 'auto' a biography as Macca has done to date.

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stimpy | 3 July 2009 - 7:59am

Recommended, yes

Also Ian MacDonald´s A Revolution In The Head.

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Ola Claesson | 6 July 2009 - 3:30pm

Ulysses

Perhaps it was because I was reading for my degree, and not under my own steam, but I found this utterly tedious. Same with all the Joyce I've read, really, I just don't like his writing at all.

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Andrew F | 3 July 2009 - 8:38am

Joyce is like Dylan

in that you subscribe to the view that each syllable is pregnant with meaning or believe that it is unutterable bilge of the first rank held together by charlatan magic

My theory about Dylan - better when shorter - probably applies to Joyce. Portarit of the Artist as a Young Man and his short stories (The Dead for example) being his best stuff

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Sheev | 3 July 2009 - 10:10am

Dylan is the new Joyce

In that work of utter genius can stand cheek-by-jowl with complete doggerel only the artist understands. Chapters of Ulysses are sublimely evocative and others are nonsensical. A lot like the albums of 1970s and 80s from Br'er Zimm.

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PaddyH | 5 July 2009 - 9:38pm

"A Man In Full" by Tom Wolfe is about 950 pages

A great book once you get into it and well worth reading despite whatever flaws it may have.

**MINI-SPOILER**
Just a shame the ending is silly. It's a forensic dissection of several social worlds written by a scrupulous reporter who researches every word he writes. And yet it ends with someone creating their own religion? A weird, out of nowhere silly ending in my opinion.

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LOUDspeaker | 3 July 2009 - 9:50am

I enjoyed the Secret History By Donna Tartt

which is substantial, and American tabloid by James Elroy.
I must admit to not liking long books preferring a series of short ones. A book has to be gripping to maintain my interest I have never really held with the idea of having ploughing through hundreds of pages to get to the good stuff. It's all a bit "you can't have your pudding until you've eaten all your sprouts".

Also as I read on transport and late at night so slow evolving pages aren't easy to stay with, this is all probably my loss.
Do people have more than one book on the go at a time my dad does this I can't hold all the plots in mind at once?

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Chris G | 3 July 2009 - 10:04am

I ususally have a pile of 10-12 by the bedside

and a similar pile in the office.

If a book is really good then I'll read it from cover to cover in one sitting, otherwise it tends to go into the pile and be read alongside the others.

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stimpy | 3 July 2009 - 11:11am

Several at once - I can usually remember what's what

Currently I'm reading the second volume by Guralnick on Elvis (we're in Vegas, about 20% in), Peter Temple's Dead Point (half an hour tonight in the warm spot in the garden and I'll finish that), plus I'm a chapter off the end of the excellent Bad Science.

I'm also dipping through some P.G. Wodehouse - some of the collections of shorter stories.

A quick scan around reveals that I got distracted 20 pages into Antony Beevor's Stalingrad - I'll give that another go soon, and I have parked John Keegan's "The Second World War" at the start of 1940. I may need to wind back a bit in that and skim to get back up to speed.

Queued up are Shakey, and John F Zwed's Sun Ra book. (His Miles one was a belter).

I've always got a t least a couple on the go as well as whatever I am dipping in to (poetry collections especially good for this)

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elhombremalo | 5 July 2009 - 7:56pm

A Suitable Boy

A plain terrifying 1500 or so pages that actually zip along. I read it while travelling in Mexico a few years back and the story was so vivid that sometimes when I looked up from a particularly long stint of reading, I'd be genuinely confused about which country I was in.

Would utterly recommend it - you can buy it in 3 volumes if you want to make it easier. The guardian is reporting today that he's working on a sequel: http://tinyurl.com/lzyaue

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starkley | 3 July 2009 - 11:24am

I have to be honest

I found the final third completely tedious but felt I should finish it as I got that far

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Jim Thomas | 3 July 2009 - 11:27am

Given the demographic on this site

I am surprised that no one has mentioned Lord of the Rings.

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Jim Thomas | 3 July 2009 - 11:27am

"Demographic"

what are you saying we are eleves, or dwarves, we've had the odd Troll but I hope you are not saying we're that "queer lot from the prancing pony in Bree"!

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Chris G | 3 July 2009 - 11:32am

I Had A Go

didn't care for it at all

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Pat Carty | 3 July 2009 - 5:41pm

A few of my friends at school raved about it so I bought a copy.

I stopped reading after the third silly name, decided that fantasy wasn't for me, and went back to science fiction.

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Robin Clarke | 3 July 2009 - 11:23pm

I read it in a day

I was working in Montrose one summer, casual work at a fruit factory. I woke early, and started reading it around 6am with some coffee. Around 9 I was at the factory - "no work today - see you tomorrow". Went back to the tent and kept on reading. I'd started so I was going to finish.

Haven't felt the need to go back to it in the intervening 30 years.

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elhombremalo | 5 July 2009 - 7:47pm

The FPO inhales books

She reads at an astonishing lick. Polishing off volumes in a few hours.

Whereas I seem to take days. Though I don't feel I'm a slow reader. Pages turn quite rapidly it seems to me.

I did challenge her on this once and she did admit to now and again simply cheating. Skipping passages and chapters if she's not particularly engaged. But if she's thoroughly enjoying something the steam comes out of her ears and she's utterly unblinking as she soaks up every word at a frightening rate.

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Andy Barrons | 6 July 2009 - 10:03pm

As Woody said

I speed read War & Peace.

It's about some Russians.

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Captain Underpants | 4 July 2009 - 7:28am

I tend to go for slimmer volumes these days

- due to my inability to read more than a paragraph without falling asleep. Even Ian McEwan takes me months to get through.

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Steerpike | 4 July 2009 - 3:04pm

Fiction and non-fiction

I have read The Lord Of the Rings a few times, and love it. The longest non-fiction book I've read is the Penguin History of the world by JM Roberts. A magisterial work, about the same length as LOTR, probably the only thing the two have in common.

There are those Patrick O'Brian obsessives who argue, not without some reason, that the Aubrey/Maturin novels could be regarded as one long novel, in 20 parts. In that case, having read the first ten, I could say I'm halfway through a novel of more than 6,000 pages!

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Azeem | 5 July 2009 - 6:58pm

I read the Illuminatus! Trilogy

several times. It's not the easiest read in the world, with a very dense non-linear narrative and full to the gunwales with 70's trippy, far-out drug references, very weird sex scenes, spectral Nazi ghost armies and the biggest conspiracy theory in the history of the world. And apart from its own footnotes, it also ties into the Principia Discordia.

Some may find it unreadable, though I thought it was a riot

I also read Stephen King's It, which manages around 1100 pages, I think, and is better than it has any real right to be.

[it has just occured to be that, given my screen name, this must look ever so slightly suspicious. Well, the two are not entirely unconnected, though the connection is not as unsubtle as one may think]

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illuminatus | 5 July 2009 - 9:28pm

Don DeLillo's Underworld

It's a hefty tome of some 900 pages (I think) and hugely rewarding.
But, it's the first 100 or so pages which really steal the show with a brilliant fictionalisation of the 1951 baseball play-off game starring Sinatra, Jackie Gleason, J Edgar Hoover and a load of civilians.
You could put it down at page 97 blown away and not lose out on anything.

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PaddyH | 5 July 2009 - 9:45pm

Superb book

The epilogue is also stunning - as good as the prologue in my opinion.

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Nasalhair | 9 July 2009 - 1:17pm

That's a relief

because that was exactly what I did. I find DeLillo's prose and tone just too flat. I managed "Libra" and "White Noise" but this monster defeated me.

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Rufus T Firefly | 9 July 2009 - 4:28pm

Libra

is quite brilliant. Read back to back with American Tabloid by Ellroy and you have a distillation of the dream and darkness of America

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Sheev | 10 July 2009 - 10:38am

James Clavell´s

Shogun is the longest book I´ve ever read and also one of my all time favourites. I can´t seem to find it right now, but I thinks it was more than 1000 pages. Considering that I was 19 at the time I´m sure it made me proud.

The development of the story is great and it´s one of those books you really live inside of while you read it. Seem to recall I went for some 250 pages a day to try to keep up with the series that was on telly the same week I read it.

Don´t think I got much else done that week...

Recommended read and/or watch if you like history, Japan, romance, character development, chopped off heads or just a great adventure in general.

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Ola Claesson | 6 July 2009 - 3:41pm

Very swiftly I have done-

Lord Of the Rings - loved it as a teenager, too scared to spoil the memories and read it again.

Ulysses - infuriating, difficult, annoying in places. Extremely funny in others. Favorite quote - "A finer man never shat on shamrock."

War and Peace - Really loved it, blew me away, took me ages to read.
Anna Karenina - Ditto.

Moby Dick - vivid as hell, visionary, poetic, pressed it onto people afterwards.

Middlemarch - used to think all 19th Century English novels were crap. This changed my mind.

The Border Trilogy - ground to a halt half way through The Crossing as my brain was hurting and all the Spanish was confusing.

Bleak House - couldn't finish this. I suspect the problem lies with me and not the book.

Pillars Of the Earth - A lot of fun, genuinely galloped through it. Who'd have thunk a book about building a cathedral could be enjoyable?

Cryptonomicom- unsure about this. Seemed padded out, ended up being a fairly straightforward treasure hunt story, didn't think it justified 900 pages.

Gravity's Rainbow- bewildering stuff, understood not a word, failed to finish it.

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ganglesprocket | 9 July 2009 - 1:19pm

Anna Karenina

Marvellous novel. Could it be the best ever (maybe even edging out Moby Dick…)?

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David Rothon | 9 July 2009 - 2:50pm

it's a close one alright

- only one way to sort it out...

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Sheev | 9 July 2009 - 9:15pm

2666

By the late great Chilean Roberto Bolano. It's immense but approachable, divided as it is into five connected but fairly discrete parts. Don't be thrown by the title, it's not some future dystopian thing. It's completely contemporary and completely brilliant.

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Ian McGillis | 9 July 2009 - 1:37pm

More weighty tomes

Don Quixote. Somewhere round 1,000 pages but mostly very readable, and genuinely funny in places. Some of the contemporaneous morality is quite shocking, though: if you managed to persuade/force a woman to sleep with you, she'd then have to marry you.

The Lives & Opinions of Tristram Shandy. The first post-modern novel. It IS hard-going in places - the humour is egregiously arcane (and archaic) – but it's also a lot of fun.

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David Rothon | 9 July 2009 - 2:48pm

The version I read

Was just 500 or so pages (and yes, unabridged). Sure you didn´t read it twice?

But I to liked it and found it funny.

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Ola Claesson | 9 July 2009 - 3:49pm

I must admit…

… I looked up the number of pages of the Penguin version on Amazon (although I HAVE read it) and it clocks in at 1000+ I know much of that will be notes/intro etc, but I'm sure it's still well over 500 (yours might have had tiny print…)

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David Rothon | 9 July 2009 - 4:06pm

Well, it did have

Tiny print. Maybe the average Swedish word is shorter than the average English? Well, no matter how many pages it didn´t feel like it was hard to get through.

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Ola Claesson | 10 July 2009 - 9:25am

Neal Stephenson

eek, not only have I read the Baroque Cycle and Cryptonomicon both twice each but I even waded my way through his latest doorstop Anathem (which sounds like it could be anathema to many people out there!) - I do recommend it though and the Baroque stuff is very entertaining even though it does feel pretty educational at times (it gets better the second time around, trust me)

I read War & Peace because I thought I should do it at least once but found I was skipping huge bits of the "war" sections (rather like getting bored with all the "faerie" footnotes in Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell)

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popchicken | 9 July 2009 - 3:00pm

If multi-volume series/cycles count...

...I have often thought about , but have never actually opened , Anthony Powell's " A Dance To The Music Of Time " series .
Not actually all that long here , but I once had a " most complete English translation ever " of de Toqueville's " Democracy In America " , but it got stolen before I finished it !

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John Asperger | 10 July 2009 - 9:50pm

'A Dance...'

is, IMHO, the greatest work of literature in the English language. (and I'm not being sarcastic either)

For what it's worth, I'd have Kerouac's On The Road up there as well.

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stimpy | 11 July 2009 - 12:41pm
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