In the final verse of Lost in You, Rod Stewart makes an astonishing and disturbing announcement:

I'm coming home real soon
Be ready cause when I do
I'm gonna make love to you
like fifteen men!

Stewart is expressing his intention to love the object of his affections with great vigour and enthusiasm, while also advising that she take the opportunity to warm-up in advance of his arrival.

Unfortunately, when I heard this song the other day, these raunchy lyrics dredged-up the memory of a documentary titled: Sex - The Annabel Chong Story, which follows the fledgling porn star’s attempt at breaking the world gang bang record. This, rather predictably, turns out to be a joyless, glassy-eyed slog through an ever-changing parade of barely-aroused sexual partners. It should be obvious to anyone who has seen the film that “I’m gonna make love to you like fifteen men” is something that you should never write in a Valentines or Wedding Anniversary card, or say to anyone you are hoping to sleep with. Unless you are a rakishly-angled love machine like Rod Stewart, you are better off sticking to more conventional platitudes and come-ons.

This isn’t the only example of lyrics misfiring. When Elton John sang “Someday we’ll live like horses” it straddled the boundary between a veiled threat, and the vague promise of a debauched, equine-themed party, in which tiny men, garishly attired in brightly-coloured silks, would ride around on the backs of the guests, while periodically whipping their bare flanks.

No doubt there are other examples too...