...someone who was a very nervous flyer who was killed in a plane crash.

an old woman who swallowed a fly......

anyone had actually "have someone's eye out with that"

With a permanent frown thanks to the wind changing.

someone who as a kid blinded a fellow pupil with a catapult.

.

who swears his arm was broken by a swan

Who lives in a rainforest that is roughly the size of Wales.

Someone who fought for the heavyweight boxing championship of the world, Earnie Shavers.

to San Jose.

Also, my little boy was unwell over the weekend. Shit happened.

quite a few times

and a Rocket scientist. They've heard all the jokes.

and l've been damned

I worked in factory packing hot water bottles into boxes meanwhile my friend worked on a prawn fishing boat off Australia got bitten by a sea snake, the crew turned on him for being slow on the fish processing line and locked him in a room, chucked rotten fish at him when they let him out and then dumped him onto another boat without paying him.

...I met an old woman who lived in a shoe...

er, hang on a minute...

whilst walking down the street, actually slipped on a banana skin and fell on his backside. It was funny. He didn't laugh.

'the sweet Marie who waits for me' from Is This The Way to Amarillo?

I have yet to see any of the German Measles coming in.

where the time goes.

known a whole bunch of people who have shown their arse in Burton's window in Stockport!

and who have gone to Buxton

and gone to their house

you figure it out! I never could!

Round ours there's a couple who run a Chinese restaurant. Their kids are called Sam and Ella.

..... had a canary !

wears Cor Blimey trousers.

(But I like it)

won the lottery, and died the next day.

and I've got the spots on my tongue to prove it.

Phil Spector ate nothing but the bread crusts