Entertainment For Lively Minds
Horse Shit
Posted by BMoff on 2 September 2011 - 3:29pm.
Two mounted policemen just when past my workplace and left large deposits in the road (from the horses, not the riders)
Dog owners are expected to clean up after their animals. Why does this not apply to larger beasts?
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Do you have roses?
You could have dashed out with a spade and a binbag.
Dog poo
Can contain toxocariasis, which is very bad, and is why owners are required to clear it up. Horse poo, however, is full of goodness and great on the rhubarb.
Indeed
Plus horse droppings are just not as unpleasant as dog mess. My mate calls them Aintree Profiteroles (TMFTL).
Great on rhubarb?
I prefer custard, myself, but...
Rhubarb
is the only food I don't like. I'd prefer horse shit and custard*
*I probably wouldn't, really
Toxocariasis
I thought they were an Argentinian hardcore band.
Off to collect some later
From friends who have horses. Horse shit is a fantastic ingredient in the Beach compost blend.
when my Dad was a boy
Back in the 1920s, he used to follow horse and carts around so he could shovel up the poo and sell it.
When I were a lad ...
This is one of those comedy sketches isn't it? 'You mean you had a shovel? We had to use our bare hands ....'
my dad's entire childhood
Sounded like the 4 Yorkshiremen sketch. Except he was from Kent. He didn't take kindly to us taking the piss.
I don't know how universal this is
but where I live there are signs telling people to clean up after their dogs. Thing is, the sign features an extremely gross picture of a dog squeezing one out. I seldom encounter dog "material" on the pavement but I pass these truly disgusting signs on a daily basis...
(I'm not going to post a picture. If you've seen them you'll know what I mean)
You're right; It's criminal what they can get away with.
Horses are allowed to walk around Whitehall with unfeasibly large erections, but every time I've tried it, oh no...
Cow pats are cool...
Especially when the surface has dried out and then you stamp on it with a wellington boot. One of my favourite childhood amusements, that.
A friend once told me that air-hostesses are like cow pats.
The older they are, the easier they are to pick up.
(ducks..)
File under care in the community
The coppers leave it on the roads for locals to pick up and sell to gardeners. Be fair now ,you can't imagine going up to Monty Don and saying 'hey mister would you like a bag of dog shit?'.
Another unanswered question - why does dog poo turn white if left unattended for any length of time in the winter? Has it developed frostbite?
The white dog poo mystery
see several issues of "Viz" for details.
Also random pornography in bushes.
treasure
of childhood that, finding a couple of porno pages in a bush.
But dog poos *don't* turn white like they used to...
When I wor a lad you'd see those white doodahs everywhere. Not any more.
My Dad has a theory that dogs used to eat a more calcium-rich diet which may have accounted for the colour. By the way, discussing dog shit is not a staple conversation in the Crowther parents' household.
As for
shitting horses (Siouxsie And The Banshees 1984?) it's a class war thing innit.
Apart from Boxer in "Animal Farm" and other pit ponies, all horses are enemies of the working classes. And HRH The Q does not clean up after her corgis.
I saw a one of
those small blonde long haired dogs (insert own joke) have a crap outside the Red Lion at Angel once then quick as a flash turn round and swallow it in one go.
Dog eats its own faeces
I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.
Oops. Sorry - wrong thread.