Only one, But the light bulb must want to be changed.

One to change it, and another fourteen to sing about how good the old one was. And besides, the lightbulb should never have gone electric.

It's not a fuckin' lightbulb....it's a LAMP!

Change? I'm not changing it just buying the box set with extra filaments which I'll never take out of it's box. The old one is still my favourite, it's that unique flicker just as you hit the switch. It reminds me of that time.............

Fifty, one to change the lightbulb and forty nine to stand around and say "that's easy I coulda done that"

* NB if you are a guitarist substitue other musician of choice

Fish.

An overwhelming consensus.

Sorry everyone, I'll be off AGW mode soon and back on to Scottish fitba' or making sure that everyone knows about the sad passing of Gerry Rafferty ;-)

It's a very obscure number, you probably haven't heard of it.

(All credit to Joe R, he told it to me)

Only one but the guitarist has to show him how to do it first.

One to do it, and twelve to discuss how Neal Peart would have done it better.

12

Two. One to change the gulg and one to hold the gottom of the lagger.

I discovered* the following:

The original formulations of the joke, popular in the late 1960s and the 1970s, were used to insult the intelligence of Poles. For instance:

Q. How many Polacks does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Three—one to hold the light bulb and two to turn the ladder.

Although lightbulb jokes tend to be derogatory in tone, the people targeted by them may take pride in the stereotypes expressed and are often themselves the jokes' originators. Lightbulb jokes applied to subgroups can be used to ease tensions between them.

*your home is at risk etc...

Eno

Two. One to change the bulb and one to hold his penis...I mean my mother...I mean the ladder!

13.
One to change the bulb, and twelve to have their name on the door.

How typical of you, to think it’s a woman’s responsibility to change the lightbulb.

None. They simply redefine darkness as the new standard.

Five.
One to change it, and four to stand around muttering, "That should have been me up there, dammit!"

I don't know, what do you think?

One - we're not stupid.

(Courtesy of Simon Munnery)

Actually, the dilution in the original post is only 1x10^-44, whereas a typical homeopathic dilution is 1x10^-60.

It would appear that the Right Honourable Member was in the process of changing a light bulb when, tragically, he became entangled in the flex.

Reports that he was attired in fishnet tights and suspenders at the time are unfounded.

(Conservative Party Press Office)

"I'm not changing anything."

How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

Two. But don't ask me how they got in there.

:(

One to hold the bulb and 10 to drink pints until the room spins.

* The Author is an Irishman

IT JUST DOES, OK???

... does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. It's a woman's job.

None, the darkness makes them commit suicide. :)

10

1 to change it - the other 9 to have a sing song "around the old joanna"

Ps:I ve lived in London for over 25 years and my daughter is technically a "cockney"

Two.

One to change the bulb and one to drive him up from Surrey to do it.

Just the one. He holds up the bulb and then the world revolves around HIM.

Does it HAVE to be a lightbulb?

Don't mind me, I'll just sit here in the dark. And would it kill you phone occasionally?

*I not only have a Jewish mother, I also happen to be one myself

None. Let Darkness reign !!!

does it take to change a lightbulb?

1966

* The author is a native of the fine country of Scotland and has his tongue firmly in his cheek.

does it take to turn a lightbulb off in my house?

Just me, apparently.

None

They sit in the dark and wait for the invisible hand of the market to change it for them.