When the film Paul was in the cinemas earlier this year my girlfriend wanted to see it, and her daughter really wanted to see it. However, her daughter was, and still is, 14 and the film is a 15 (I understand it’s quite sweary). We are not sure how strictly age limits are checked and enforced these days so we didn’t go.

Today is my girlfriend’s birthday and, among other things, I gave her a copy of the DVD. When I was dressing this morning I heard her across the hallway telling her daughter, ‘Guess what! Gatz got me Paul for my birthday!’ There was a pause, then a sleepy and confused sounding voice from below the duvet, ‘He got you porn for your birthday?'