Entertainment For Lively Minds
Hanging's too good for 'em
I know we've been over this subject before, but people chatting all through gigs should be punished quite severely (and painfuly!). Last night the FPO, who was taking a night off from being an FPO, and I went to the Barbican to see the Chris Difford curated 'Songs in the key of London'. Absolutely fantastic, a variety of artists (Glenn, Chris and Jools from Squeeze,Kathryn Williams,Chas and Suggs from Madness, some Blockheads and a suprise turn from Elvis Costello among others) singing various songs about the capital, nearly ruined though by the four blokes sitting in the row behind us. They just would not shut up all through the night,and when asked too, decided making sarky remarks was a suitable response.They only stopped when it looked like violence was potentially on the cards. Why pay £30 to sit in a concert hall and talk bollocks in a loud voice, when you can do it in a pub for free? Absolute arseholes the lot of 'em. Glad I got that off my chest.
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This might be a greater waste of money,I'm undecided.
I had little sympathy for Morrissey
until I saw the incident up close. In the clip below, he seems to be cowering from other projectiles until the moment when the beer 'glass' connects with his big head
Sit and have a pint with me!!
and discuss these tossers!
Cornbury - three women discussing their holiday in Spain during The Pretenders' set.
Nick Lowe, Bristol - her wanting to know the quickest way home to Trowbridge during Peace Love and Understanding!
Some tosser shouting down his phone most of the way through ABC's set at an 80's night and having a go at me 'cause I was upset about it!!
Blur 2003 at Reading festival
Im not a fan - but had gone along for the day to have shits and giggles with some friends I hadnt seen for ages. Most of em were big fans and getting very excited about what was rumoured to be the bands last gig ever.
The line-up was ok - Morrissey, Ferdinand, Beck, Libertines etc and the weather was lovely.
When Blur came on, even I was excited (a few lagers under the bridge) and they were on storming form.
In front of us were two girls and a bloke who talked and talked...and talked. They giggled and shouted, took pictures of each other and made 'nuff 'one finger in the ear' phone calls. Didn't look at the band once.
Blur began the 'wind up' to the show and played an absolutely storming, crowd waving, sing a long 'moment of the festival' version of 'Tender'.
A song or two later, my friend (who had already asked them politely to think about moving or keep it down, shouted at them to 'fucking shut up'. They responded with a bit of light abuse and then kind of kept it down a bit for the last song of the encore.
The house lights went up and I heard one of them, quite upset, shout at the others 'I can't believe they didn't fucking play 'Tender'...It's my favourite fucking one!
Hell is other people
that is a good example - you wonder why they bothered turning up.
At a concert hall, it's infuriating and just pig ignorant to be carrying on a conversation during the performance. But at an outdoor gig, apart from raising your own blood pressure, there's not a lot you can do about it. People are there for different reasons and some just want to natter rather than enjoy the moment.
Have a listen to this clip, from about 40 secs in, and whoever it is just talks non-stop through probably this band's best song.
yo la tengo
When Yo La Tengo had this problem they would play more and more quietly until they were barely audible in an attempt to embarass the talkers into silence!
Pet Shop Boys, late 80s, Wembley Arena
Mid-song, someone tapped me on the on the shoulder and asked me to get some other people (a few rows ahead) to sit down. Erm, no.
I think it's a Not The 9 O'clock News sketch
when somebody in the audience is whistling along to every song and is asked to be quiet, only to be told by people around him that fans travel miles to hear Mr Whateverhisnamewas whistle along. This seems to sum up most people's attitude to gigs ie, they are the star not the act and we go along to watch them take photos and talk about Jade fucking Goody or that other tart, Jordan (?).
No patience at all for this
I tell them to shut up the moment it looks like they're going to behave like tossers all night, these days. I used to be more tolerant, but why should I have my night ruined? Particularly bad in seated venues where there's no prospect of them going to the back.
Goldfrapp
A few years back Goldfrapp at the Brixton Academy (Supernature tour)threw a bit of a strop onstage because people where talking while she was singing. It was great because she voiced exactly what we were thinking.
The worst case for me was at an Interpol gig at Alexandra Palace being stuck next to two guys blethering about football , I had to move because i wanted to punch them ! If any of you have been to Alexandra Palace you will know it is a mission in itself just to get to the venue , so they must have wanted to see the band themselves.