First album post-Brix
Contains some dance elements
It's really good uh

Manics- The Holy Bible

James Dean Bradfield
Spits out the disturbing words
Of Richey Edwards.

The Decemberists- The Hazards of Love

A shape-shifting fawn
And a young girl fall in love.
No happy ending.

Any Nick Cave album

More songs about God
And sex from PJ's former
Squeeze. Contains murder.

Smile was meant to be
a teenage symphony to God.
This really is.

Deranged hobo stares
Into a glass of bourbon,
Growling children's rhymes.

Two brothers fighting
Stop to kiss Phil Spector's feet
Avalanche of noise

Perverse pleasurable dreams
pop art crooning noise adorned
catchy original masterfulness

Dirty Work

Mick and Keith
fall out. Resulting crapness intimated
by cover photo.

School life not a success.
Mother proves wanting.
Numb = comfortable.

Drowning concept beside
Hills, dogs, cloudbusters.
Extraordinary.

courtesy of John Cooper Clarke:

To express a mood
In seventeen syllables
Is very diffic.

I prefer the All Blacks' one but Tonga are damn scary too.

(That was a jokey reply but I just noticed it's got 17 syllables. Jings!)

A delicate dish
Best served cold
Brutal

Playing 21 questions with former members of Anal C**t in Hokkaido prefecture, circa 1671

Is it animal,
vegetable, mineral ?
Is it gay? Spring tides.

Discussing consequences with Pixie Lott

What would mama do?
Get hammered on Bacardi.
Reveal underwear.

Open Letter To Tori Amos

Pixies don’t exist.
Unicorns died to make your
piano keyboard.

Getting ready to see Ocean Colour Scene perform live at The Shepherds Bush Empire on 12th March 1997

Branding tongs, Ball gag
Studded gimp mask, Hair slides, Lube
Green Ford Cortina.

Geri Halliwell makes an announcement of major archaeological importance while on a promotional holiday in Cairo.

Hello! photoshoot
Cleopatra sixth Spice Girl
Pet owl in handbag.

Gary Numan contemplates a power cut

City lights blink out
like expired match heads. Dark sky;
Electric friends mute.

The one true death of Bruno Mars

Pool of congealed blood
One knife, many fingerprints
Hundreds red handed

Trite observations on making music uttered during an interview by the lead singer of up and coming U.S. college rock band (influences Nickelback, The Cure) who have recently signed with a major record company

“Rock and roll is math.”
Record label accounting
Sorry, you’re broke dude

Fabs Get Long-Winded
George Martin Patches Mess With
Orchestral Duct Tape

Quiet loud quiet
- Something Like The Pixies - But
Without Bible tales

Off goes the stetson
on go the wraparounds and
Out comes Adam's Cock

Some dub, some Beach Boys
A smattering of acid,
The usual Stones.

Shite, shite, shite, shite, shite.
Fucking really shite indeed
Total fucking shite.

You can't dance to this
Unless you're a tortoise or
partial to hot knives

Synthetic Fibres
Are brought back into fashion
By a skinny bloke

Scorched plains. Sound of water.
White powder. Black light.
Future manuscript. Now

Solo stuff is crap
Eleanor Rigby
Thumbs up

water drops pizzicato strings
horns blare
first track,magic begins

Ken Dodd's Greatest Hits
Wogan and Hoff
Add Wasabi -
It's Beany's bag!

Woke up this morning
still playing the same solo
I'm boring myself

Monkeys flinging shit
Is better than this album
According to Bob

Gotta roll with it
My beady eye spies dead leaves
on the river bed.

Nazi funereal goth dream
gets funky groove hook. E.
Ageing builders.

Thoughts occurring to Neil Tennant as politeness forces him to sit through a mimed version of The Cherry Orchard.

This tie has to go.
Muted browns do not belong
at warehouse parties.

Beyonce’s Proustian rush while attending a charity buffet to promote breast cancer awareness

Pink frosted cupcake
pink bike buried in leaf pile
The church and the school.

Mariah Carey’s PA reflects on being far from home, while haggling with a farmer over the price of an antique gate, spotted while driving through Dorset on the way to a video shoot.

This is not L.A.
That tree, those black and white cows
This peeling green paint

Paul Weller takes delivery of a life-size porcelain giraffe

Africa freeze-dried
in through the first floor window
like the piano

Mike Read recalls the 1980s glory days of the BBC Radio One Roadshow

Blackpool in July
Noise of the rollercoaster
drowns out The Human League

The Cocteau Twins

Peepo Pompor Poo
Yada yada om dom frou fou
Pra da da dee parp

New york chewing gum
sun is out and they want some
Ramones two three four

Sparklehorse
Vivadixiesubmarinetransmissionplot
Fantastic

A sinclavier
Attached to a fuzz pedal
Prompts armageddon

A mockney tunesmith
With a fetish for peasants
Bops in Tacchini

Fake bisexual
Dumps floppy-haired friend after
Inventing smack-prog

Drug dealers, trannies,
Hitting women: all this AND
A free banana?!

How will it sound if
I stand this fan on top of
My old spin drier?

Madonna discovers the carcass of a griffin on her estate

A mirror image
this mobbed, crow-pecked chimera
returned to the earth

Radiohead play the Reading Festival

Swaying backlit phones
Fake plastic breasts during Creep
Synthetic fire smoke

Miles Davis

Jazz goes electric
Tension in repetition
In a silent way

Kind of Blue - Miles Davis

Trane with tempered sax
Ev'rybody digs Evans
Cool trumpet brushstroke

Joss Stone takes an apple from The Rolling Stones rider while backstage at the O2 arena

This forbidden fruit
grown in the roof garden of
Fortnum and Mason

Cliff Richard plays Tennis against Natalie Portman and George Lucas

Two on one, I face
new balls that come thick and fast
Is this a threesome?

Zombie Haiku
Zombie Haiku by Robert Frost
Two lobes in the skull.
I eat the bloodier one –
not much difference.

Zombie Haiku by e.e. cummings
if anyone lived
in this wretched how town (they)
would be soon eaten.

Zombie Haiku by Walt Whitman
Every skin atom
form’d from this soil, this air,
tastes like chicken meat.
from http://zombiehaiku.com/

Zombie Haiku by William Shakespeare
To bite through the skull
or beat it against the wall?
That is the question.

Zombie Haiku by Edgar Allen Poe
Beside of the sea
I killed my Annabel Lee
because zombies do that.

Zombie Haiku by Theodore Roethke
I knew a woman,
piled up once I ate her,
lovely in her bones.

Dave's a hippy. Twelve
string guitar and curly perm.
It's "hol" as in "holes."