Greatest heckles ever....
I was listening to an old Word podcast on my way to work, the one with the Bernie and Mike Winters anecdote which had me in complete hysterics (quite unsettling when on public transport).
There must be many such tales out there in the entertainment world. Self important performers cut down in a matter of seconds. Bands scarred for life by a cruel putdown.
One of my favourites concerns Bono on stage at a famine relief concert, whether true or not I don't know nor care.
There he is standing centre stage between songs and he starts clicking his fingers every 3 seconds and he starts his sermon:
"Everytime I click my fingers someone in Africa will die of starvation". He continues to slowly click his fingers to the silent crowd.
Cue heckler:"Well stop clicking your bloody fingers then!"
Anyone else got any they wish to share?
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Dolly and the 4 Yorkshiremen
I read recently of Dolly Parton's trip to Yorkshire where as an intro to (I think) Coat Of Many Colors she told the story of how she was brought up in a shack on the side of some mountain hell hole - 9 kids, no running water, no electricity and one square meal a month. From the back of the audience one northern wag was heard to cry "You think you had it bad".
It was while she was
It was while she was promoting the launch of a literacy campaign in Rotherham that this story arose.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/south_yorkshire/7129005.stm
As I recall, the story goes that she was relating about how she was inspired to do that type of charitable work because of how hard a life she had growing up. In the story, the actual heckle was a direct lift of the phrase "You werrr't lucky...!" from the sketch. Again, true or not true, who cares. Brilliant tho!
Also puts me in mind of a live recording of Steely Dan doing Bodhitsattva which is being introduced by the single most stoned guy in California (some going). His rambling intro lasts about two minutes by which time even the band are shouting out encouragement and heckles at him in equal measure!
Not taking it on the chin...
How about the one about the late Eric Douglas who lived his life in the shadow of his brother Michael and father Kirk. He was on his uppers and had decided to try his hand at stand –up. One night he was in a club and was dying like flea in a tramps beard. In desperation at the boos and heckles he uttered those dreaded words “do you know who I am, I’m Eric Douglas” and immediately a member of the crowd shouted out “No, I’m Eric Douglas” followed by another and another....
I heard it as
'You can't do this to me, I'm Kirk Douglas's son'...
Apparently Jo Brand once went on stage only to be greeted by the cruel but funny heckle, 'Don't show us your tits!'
And here's Thom Yorke:
Pia Zadora as Anne Frank
Dunno if this is true or an urban myth, Pia Zadora was playing Anne Frank on stage (somehere) and her acting was wooden to the extreme. In the climax when the German soldiers are in the flat and the family are hiding some exasporated soul in the crowd shouted out "She's in the attic".
Myth
Myth I'm afraid it is a good joke though.
Some more heckles we have loved
A rather gorgeous Shelby Lynne at Shepherd's Bush Empire: 'Wow, in the last few days I've been everywhere in England'.
Male audience member: 'You haven't been to my house!'
Heckle at UK premiere of Star Trek 3 The Search For Spock, directed by Leonard Nimoy, during one of Captain Kirk's cod philosophical ramblings about his Klingon companions whereabouts: 'He's behind the f***ing camera!'
Neat stand up comic heckler put downs I've heard: 'Alright mate, I remember what it was like after my first half of larger too' 'Well it's a night out for you - and a night off for your family'
Utterly deflating
I recall Mark Lamar's tale of comedian who was dying a death on stage, making ever more desperate attempts to impress the audience, when a pained sounding voice called out, 'What do you want?'
Exodus
I read that at the premier of Otto Preminger's film of the book, that clocks in at over 3 hours, someone (it may have been Zero Mostel, but I can't remember for sure) stood up and cried "Let my people go".
Unnamed comic
Came on and announced 'Hello, I'm a schizophrenic'
Heckler: 'Well, you can both fuck off!'
The Mighty Boosh
Deal with a heckler at a live show.
Never heard this phrase before or since but it worked
I was watching a band called The Johnny's at The Prince of Wales.
Some idiot climbed onto the smallish stage and stood directly in front of the singer Spencer Jones. It must have been very disconcerting for him, having to sing straight into this blokes eyes.
After a few moments Spencer said to him, "I want to see my friends out there. Not you, ya shot-off pig's head."
The bloke climbed down real quick.
John Hegley's way
I was there (Downstairs at the King's Head in Crouch End), but it was a long time ago, so there may be paraphrases.
First heckle comes in, John raises an eyebrow and says "Hmmm, not bad," and carries on. A few minutes later the same heckler attempts another bon mot; John responds instantly: "You see that first one wasn't bad, but this one isn't very good, is it? [pause] It was beginner's luck, you're a pillock."
Apologies!
This is purely for my own benefit so I don't feel like such a fraud.
Am catching up on the Word podcasts and have just listened to number 20 and my original post about Bono was told by Mark Ellen.
I hadn't heard it when I posted....honest!