My all time favourite was for a friendly Milwall vs Iran (don't ask) - someone saw sense and scratched the fixture - but this beauty had already done the rounds

"You're next and you know you are"

Was also fond of the recent Exeter City songs at Leyton Orient

"Have you ever seen a beach...we've got palm trees, we've got palm trees, we've got palm trees where we live"

..the other week. For the non footy inclined, PNE's current manager is Darren Ferguson, son of Sir Alex of the neighbouring parish of Manchester. There's little love lost between Leeds and Man U, so poor Darren was treated to the cruelly blunt mantra : "Your Dad's a c*nt and so are you".

Not exactly Wildean I know, but it hit the spot.

...prematurely balding Michael Phelan (now their assistant manager) to the tune of 'You've Lost that Lovin' Feeling':

You've lost your hairline Phelan
Whoa your hairline Phelan
You've lost your hairline Phelan
Now it's gone, gone, gone, whoa-oh-a

sung originally by Man City, not the Mackems as they like to claim

Edit - sorry, clicked post too soon! From Wikipedia

Niall has his own song titled "Niall Quinn's Disco Pants". The song was originally created by Manchester City fans during a night out on a pre-season tour in Penola, Italy. It was 1992. There had been a bust-up with City team-mate Steve McMahon and Quinn had removed his torn and bloodied shirt and was dancing with Rick Holden wearing just a pair of cut-off jeans. He was "hardly aware" that there were a group of hardcore City fans watching and they treated him to "the first performance of the song that will follow me till the end of my career."[6] The chorus went, to the tune of the standard football chant Here We Go:

Niall Quinn's disco pants are the best,
They go up from his arse to his chest,
They are better than Adam and the Ants,
Niall Quinn's disco pants!

The song was adopted by Sunderland fans

from a few years back. I´ll let you guess the tune.

Don't blame it on the Biscan,
don't blame it on the Hamann,
don't blame it on the Finnan,
blame it on Traore.
He just can't, he just can't, he just can't control his feet.

Park, Park, wherever you may be
They eat dogs in your home country
But it could be worse
You could be scouse
Eating rats in your council house

was when the Neville brothers played for Man United. So... to the tune of Rebel Rebel from As Usual The Answer's:

Neville Neville
They play in defence
Neville Neville
Their future's immense
Neville Neville
They ain't half bad
Neville Neville
Is the name of their Dad

.... were from the Danny Baker radio show over the summer, around the time that North Korea played their World Cup match with Brazil:

"Does your leader know you're here"

and, particularly:

"You're going home in a veil of secrecy".

Magic stuff, as ever.

Back when he used to play for Sheffield Wednesday:

We've got Carlton Palmer
He smokes marijuana

After Eric Cantona had moved from Leeds to Manchester, visiting Leeds fans at Old Trafford were serenaded with the brilliant "Où est Cantona, I said Où est Cantona?"

will serenade any team with a chorus of "you dirty northern bastards". Cue confused headscratching from the likes of Exeter City and Portsmouth...

I was always fond of;
"2 Trevor Stevens,
there's only 2 Trevor Stevens"

The late Justin Fashanu signed for Airdrie at one point - a satellite town just outside Glasgow not know for its religious/racial tolerance or metrosexuality ... the fans came up with a pre-emptive chant:

He's black
He's gay
He plays for Air-d-rie
Fashanoooo
Fashanoooo
etc

To the legendary and obdurate Klaus Lundekvam

"Our Klaus..
In the middle of our team"

...used to have a "chants of the week" page on the BBC website, sadly no longer. But here are a few of the better ones:

"Leighton Baines - I bet you think this song is about you."
Everton fans, to the tune of You're So Vain by Carly Simon.

"When the ball hits your head and you sit in row Z, that's Zamora!"
Heard at Bolton v Fulham to the tune of 'That's Amore'.

"You're just a s*** Chas & Dave!"
Spurs fans to Liam Gallagher about him and Noel during Tottenham-Man City game.

"Does your butler know you're here?"
Southend supporters to Chelsea counterparts.

"You only live round the corner!"
Fulham fans to Man Utd during the 2-0 win.

And my favourite: "There's only one Prince Philip!" sung by away fans to Fulham chairman Mohamed Al-Fayed.

When Eric Cantona lodged with Lee Chapman

"He's French! He's Flash! He's shagging Leslie Ash!"

"We all live in a catholic housing scheme, a catholic housing scheme, a catholic housing scheme."

Frank Sidebottom

When Rio Ferdinand was serving his "failure to take a test " ban

"His name is Rio , and he sits up in the stands "

- to the tune of "Rio" obviously

For a period about 30 years ago Millwall fans took, whenever an opponent got injured, to singing Spandau Ballet's then hit "Chant Number One" - We Don't Need This Pressure On" - as "We All Want The Stretcher On." Try it, it's fun.

when these old allegations and rumours were flying around, QPR fans (mis)appropiated Hall and Oates "Maneater" with "Wifebeater" to sing at the then Southampton and England custodian/celebrity hoofer.

To Ipswich when Muhren and Thijssen were playing (to the Blue Danube)....

La la la la la Dutch c***s, Dutch c***s.

...Merseyside derby, the Everton fans sang, 'Going down, going down, going down...'

The Liverpool fans replied, 'So are we, so are we, so are we...'

Two years ago during Newcastle's painful slide out of the Premiership, we played Middlesbrough near the end of the season. The Smoggies scored first prompting the above exchange.
Unfortunately for both teams, it proved to be true.
That's not gonna happen to Liverpool AND Everton, now is it?

To the tune of Ebeneezer Goode.

'E's a good, 'e's a good, he's Colin Calderwood

and an older one

I'm only a poor little yiddo,
I stand at the back of the shelf.
I go to the bar to buy a lager
and only get one for myself.

The Gooners serenaded Tim Sherwood, then playing for Portsmouth, with:

"Tim Sherwood, wha-oh
Tim Sherwood, wah-oh-ah-oh
'E kams frum Boreham Wood
'E in't nar fahkin' good"

Which made me smile.

one from many years ago

Oh Patrick Berger
Berger Berger Berger Berger
Sausage and chips.

Seeing his face all over front and back pages of papers has reminded me of when Rooney was still a Blue.
We had an early season game at Arsenal. The home supporters along from us in the Clock End, noticing that he was a bit over his prime weight started a chant of "Green salad for Rooney...".
You just had to smile.

About 10 years ago when Spurs had three Norwegians in their ranks, we sang, to the tune of the Banana Boat Song:

Leee-o!
Le-o-nardsen!
He's Norwegian and he plays for Spurs
Not one, not two, But three Norwegians
Steffan Iversen and Baardsen too

incidentally the first Brazilian to play in English football, we had a chant which went, (to the tune of I Came I Saw I Conga'd):

We've got Mirandinha
He's not from Argentina
He's from Brazil
He's f**kin' brill'

Later on that season this would be followed by:

We've got Kenny Wharton
He's not from Argentina
He's from Cowgate
He's f**kin' great!

Back in 1998, York City made an away league trip to Stoke. Stoke's manager at the time was Brian Little, whilst York were managed by Brian's brother Alan, who wasn't really that popular with the fans.

Anyway during the game the Stoke home support starting singing "Brian Little's Barmy Army", to which some York fans replied with just "Alan Little's Barmy".

Step forward a year or two, and York were struggling. One disastrous singing was a player named Mark Setori, who was tried as both a striker and central defender, despite being rubbish in either position. He'd been signed after being spotted playing for Halifax Town in a minor cup game earlier in the season.

Anyway the York faithful came up with a new ditty, sung to the tune of Volare:

"Setori, oh oh
Setori, oh oh oh oh
He came from Halifax
We'd wish they'd take him back"