How very boring of me.

I'm also the CEO of IBM Europe. Or I was before I retired.

I'm a star Australian amateur rugby player and also a local newsreader in Wigan.

There is no end to my talents.

Apparently I have been running a "well dodgy" business selling iffy degrees (& have been doing so for nearly 20 years)

Eek aloors!

Cool.

It's strange what comes up. Apart from running and a bit of pool/snooker, I am not a sporty person at all!

A Eurovision Song Contast enthusiast.

I have a fairly uncommon surname

I am one of the world’s leading authorities on leadership and leadership development. Over a million managers worldwide have taken part in the Action-Centred Leadership programmes I pioneered.

However, I am also a loyalist paramilitary leader popularly known as “Mad Dog”.

Oh no, I'm the editor of the Daily Telegraph. Better find someone to hang, flog or deport or they'll think I'm just not doing my job.

My namesake was on a forum for serving prisoners who wished to meet women upon their release.

He was very specific in terms of the attributes of his dream woman — I then scrolled down the page to discover out he was a multiple rapist.

Lordy.

in a shark attack off Cape Town in 2005, but as some consolation I posthumously won the 2008 Indie Singer-Songwriter Association (ISSA) Song Contest Lyrics of the Year award for my song "Believe". My fiancé was pretty hot too.

But HOLY CRAP! That name was only a stage name that he used! Had he come to Australia, seen my undeniable talent on guitar, and decided to rechristen himself in my honor? It seems pretty likely.

As I use my own name here, word goes right to the top of the list when I google.

Now there's a digital legacy!

I do marlin fishing boat charters off the Florida coast.

a famed Computer Programmer apparently in the good ole US of A.

I have a doctorate in neurobiology and behaviour at Newcastle University's School of Biology. Photo doesn't look anything like me though.

Apparently I explore formalist visuality in social landscapes particularly around the ocean/land interface.

I actually am a keen amateur wildlife photographer, if you Google image my name there is a photo of a tiger I took in India quite prominently placed, actually nearer the top of the page than the person who "explores formalist visuality in social landscapes particularly around the ocean/land interface."

I am the Conservative MP for Nova Scotia, currently serving as the Canadian Minister for National Defence.
Despite being voted the "sexiest male MP in the House of Commons" by the Hill Times (a Parliament Hill newspaper) for six years in a row, seem to have had a bit of a chequered career, and indeed seem a bit of an all-round knob.

Mind you, on a brighter note, I am also Dundee United's all-time top goalscorer, with 158 league goals and 201 overall, albeit being dead now for nearly 12 years.

at Barclays. I was responsible for getting all those Hollywood actors to do ads. I booked a few including Gary Oldman, Donald Sutherland and Samuel L. Jackson.

I left Barclays to start my own consulting company which I just sold for a staggering amount of cash.

So next time you see me mention I am unemployed, you have some context to go with it.

a freelance internet marketing consultant in Leeds and I ....zzzzzzzzz

The 3rd and 4th pictures in Google Image are actually me though. Do I win a prize?

programmes for BBC worldwide. How exciting.

Simon Tyler will accelerate your learning, your career and your transitions. His coaching, facilitation and teachings will bring new insight, clarity and certainty.

but sadly my own life and work practice is a swamp of confusion and self reflective nonsense

Second Life love rat whose marriage crumbled when his wife caught him 'having online sex with her',
I am now Professor of Statistics & Mathematics
Yale University and also the illegitimate son of Eric Pollard on Emmerdale. What a busy life I lead.

I am a Christan rock star, when I am not playing up front for Kilmarnock or the Kansas City wizards, painting portraits or selling houses. I moonlight in the Fields of the Nephilim, when I am not being a dead diplomat. I have a couple of Doctorates in Physics, one in psychology and a Professorship in Chemistry. No wonder I am tired.

Oh, and I used to work for Sky sports - I actually met that one.

All you people with these alter egos...it's just me out there...every Google entry is something to do with me, and I feel very cheated.

I'm a psychotherapist with this list of letters after my name ......... MA Psych, Adv PgDip, Bsc(hons), MBACP, UKCP

Also on a related theme when I put my name into Google Images the real me is a respectable 4th on the list.

Which is nice.

Interestingly, my alter ego was born in the same town as me - albeit a few years later.

When not playing golf, I also do some freelance IT consultancy work down the road in Manchester. Where I also work as a director at a fleet insurance company.

I do not appear to exist outside of the North West of England.

So the first page is *really* me. But then I find this alter ego, which quite frankly, sound like he could kick my life's ass.

I'm a 33 year-old Brazilian male,currently in Iraquara, Brazil. I last logged in on 24th Aug 2011 and I have 10 friends ..

Who'd have thought, eh?

I'm a ballroom dancer, and a very successful one it appears, having won numerous competitions. Ironic really, as I loathe S Come Dancing so much I won't even call it by its real name, it's known as Simply in our household. Mrs T likes it which gives me hours to do something useful, like go to the pub.

.

Apart from finding my old production Albums being flogged on ebay for 99p:
I've been Supplying quality toys and games to children for more than 25 years.
When I'm not knocking out over priced board games for the kiddies, I'm an Emeritus Professor of Geography at University College London.
Well it keeps me out of trouble.
Not as exciting as my old gig though.
I used to be the President of the United States.

I am both:

Vice President of Marketing for a Canadian Freight Forwarding Association

and

A Business Executive for the Financial Times.

I hope I am never passed on any of their email or correspondence by mistake because I'm shit at Hard Sums and will no doubt ruin their reputations at a keystroke.

a features writer for the Daily Telegraph, but I'm also a painter and decorator in Newport, Isle Of Wight.

On the first page of Google images however are some magazine covers with articles by the real me which some kind soul has archived in one of those obsessive fan sites.

but I got away with it.

When's the next mingle...

You may wish to hedge your bets and start upping my posts.

............Kabul. All by myself.

for Horsham Sparrows Under 12s
(I'm pretty sure thats not actually me)

I'm Executive Director (Commercial, Industrial and Hazardous) for an environmental services company. I'm a also a partner in a company that offers valuation services.

More worryingly, I was born in 1814 in Pennsylvania, and again in 1842 in Ohio. I have flushed water mains in Cape Cod, and I moonlight as a music arranger specialising on horns and percussion and I play the tuba and trombone, when I'm not being general manager of a flight training school.

I also seem to be very excited about a very short week and then the red-eye to Boston on Thursday night!

.... I am the guitarist in Kajagoogoo.

I'm a speaker salesman in Denver, Colorado

I have a fairly common first name, a slightly uncommon surname, put them together, and I am unique. Which was a boring discovery.

My neck is wider than my head!

I am also a UK based character animator.

My wife is also a former american prison guard who got the sack after posing in Playboy, but then got her job back!

enough to have a fairly unusual name combination, Keith Axford as you ask so, the first Google entry is actually about me and relates to my work with a friends band Ink1. Quite like that really.

I am a film producer, famous for IMAX 3D efforts of spacewalking and the like. I am also on Twitter as the head of the Glasgow branch of the Michael Jackson appreciation society, although I haven't tweeted as such since early 2010 when I announced that new material would be available soon.....ahem!

on Radio 5 each Saturday and was briefly in Led Zeppelin

I'm either a lawyer that advises leading premier league clubs / players or a Norwich author that wrote something called "Mark II".......

I Yahoo searched not Google. Because that's how I roll!

But you'll be pleased to discover that I am a 26 year old tram driver from Melbourne, a hot lady on Facebook, a Managing Director at Black Sun technologies, a Notts Ladies female golfer, an actor who features in Ali G In da House, a Christian pub singer from the 1980s, an easy listening crooner from New Orleans, and best of all, the UK Body Popping Champion.

Me in action (apparently);

Wow I do a lot in my life that I don't remember. Should I get that seen to?

.... the former Chief Mastering Engineer of A&M Studios, featured in Billboard Magazine, Mix Magazine, Music Connection.

Who knew!

Ps I'm typically some sort of American athlete, but have been a reggae star too..

Programme Director of Motorsport at Cranfield University.

I just read my obituary.

But there was more than one of me. So if I'm not dead, then I am a transsexual activist.

Wow. It turns out Mrs.T is the oldest woman in Scotland, age 110, and a member of the Grant family, owners of Glenfiddich whisky and other booze lines. She kept that quiet.

is as a director of a data company who sometimes appears as an 'expert' on 24-hour news channels talking about changes to high streets and stuff like that.

But coming up on the rails, excitingly is:

"a talented young British actor who at the young age of 18 has performed on both the London theatre stage and in front of the camera...has experience of working on large budget movie blockbusters; he featured as a background artist in Warner Brothers, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.

...theatre work includes playing Sam in the Railway Children ...

...also worked as the lead role in an Orange Telecommunications TV commercial advertisement, appeared in a five part series on social education on ITV1 This Morning, featured in advertising campaigns for Publisher Oxford University Press as well as working as a promotional model."

Am I destined to achieve the stardom my talent so richly deserves, or will my career peter out in a welter of recrimination, unfairly missed opportunities and plain bad luck..?

some sort of technological genius , something to do with smart phones
an Irish mountain climber
a competitive volleyball player

I'm me!....well the first one that comes up anyway. But my doppelgänger is a young London based actor. According to Google maps, I'm also a road in L.A.

a bassist in 2 British groups. Note I didn't say English. Name the groups!

a Jamaican stand up comedian and actor, comically nicknamed 'Fishman'. I am also a landscape gardener in Sussex, play bass in a band called Arena (though hyave also played guitar for Janison Edge and Shadowland) a painet and decorator in Ulverston. Depressingly, my own one little moment of fame isn't in the first 20 pages of my name.

I was born in various years, various places, to various mothers. During my long and eventful life, I was the High Sherrif of Sussex during the reign of George I

Seventy Five years later, I found myself as the Captain of a ship called 'Britannia 2', ferrying troublemakers down under. And I was not a very pleasant one at that it would seem. During one infamous voyage I raped a woman called Elizabeth Rafferty, and killed at least six people.

For my actions, I was hanged in 1800 and went on to die a seventy-seven years earlier in 1723.

..am a baseball player. But retired.

Bad news: I falsely accused someone of rape

Good news: I clicked the link, grimaced, went back to previous Google search page & spotted that Google now allows you to block search results from sites you don't like - goodbye Daily Fail forever!

(Next on the list was the real me.)

...I am a world-famous oncologist, New Romantic mover & shaker (drummer and producer of Adam & The Ants) and a Kiwi highwayman. A non-league footballer and a Radio 5 sport producer-who is in fact my 2nd cousin.

EDIT***ooh he's Head of Sports News now***

Like someone else, I own a fishing boat in USA - all very Ernest Hemingway....

who also broadcasts on Radio London. Oh Bugger!

You don't have to be me to know which way the wind blows. My namesake says "My primary hobby is music, collecting, going to concerts and composing."

So we're not that different, except I don't compose.

When I'm not forecasting I'm making jewellery in County Kilkenny or selling real estate in Vancouver.

I fell off a cliff in Portland Ohio while "goofing around" with my friends. At the funeral, people were asked to bring flashlights instead of candles, due to safety issues.

This is a coincidence because I have made it known that I would like
my coffin procession to be set to the song "I lost my heart to a Starship Trooper" with the pall bearers walking slowly, holding lit flashlight torches in each hand, with the lights pointing inwards.

I've been Section Leader - Percussion for the Liverpool Philharmonic since 1983, apart from a brief spell as a garage mechanic in a small town outside Melbourne during which I had to tell Luke & Mrs Bishop from Neighbours that Luke's long-lost dad had passed away there a few years ago, helpfully directing them to the cemetery.
Now if you'll excuse me, I must give my congas a seeing-to.

at Gresty Road for Crewe Alex (The Railwaymen - at least they got that bit right), before I moved on to Internazionale (corrected - Real Sociedad) then Blackpool and Sunderland. But I knew that before googling. I quite enjoyed milking the crowd's applause when my name came over the Tannoy.

A little bit further down the results, I get to some no-mark in Div 5 of the North West Counties Squash League.

I refer to this practice as ego-googling. A rather pompous acquaintance of mine did this as soon as he got on line and was disappointed to find that he wasn't the first result. The first result was in fact some pimp from Amsterdam, ....... who managed to hi-jack my acquaintance's dial-up so that he was charged a premium rate every time he went on line for a month. It took him months to get rid of an icon on his desktop consisting of some rather luscious lips. Justice!

Or an actress.

And, having checked my maiden name (which I still use), I'm also a professional fencer.

Appearing alongside a seasick sea serpent named Cecil.

Much better than my real-life personae as Baron Green of Hurstpierpoint and the spokesperson for Christian Voice.

the Eggman

For Poole Town FC!

for Southampton

...not very Word!

My daughter, however, appears to be a post op transexual in Texas - which is surprising news to both of us!

Which is odd as I am a poor guitarist.

An Accountant
A Poet
A Journalist
A Photographer.

Bloody hell.

Is that it?

I got bored after page 2 of over a million hits.

Common as muck.

I've downloaded some of my sermons on to my iPod to make parties go with a swing.

which will explain why I always feel so tired.

In Phantom of the Opera, the life as a top notch chef just wasn't doing it for me. In fact I almost enjoy it as much as the Australian Football - but nothing beats the old Gynecology.

Including one by James Dean.

mostly. The ninth entry makes me out to be a lovely female chiropractor though.

a consultant with the Defense-Industrial Initiatives Group at the Centre for Strategic & International Studies, where I focus on financial aspects of global defense.
I wonder what music HE listens to.
Also, some bloke who posts jokey bullshit on a website called The Word.

- a music writer (hooray, that one's me)
- in a band with my brother in Sarasota County
- part of a duo formerly signed to Chess Records
- a Mexican boxer

Does that make me a goodgelwhack?

Does that make me a googlewhack?

Does that make me a googlewhack?

Imagine the fun when I book tickets to see him

... is me. What an anti-climax.

The second thing that comes up is someone else with not only the same name but with the same spelling as me, and he's a gastroenterologist in New Zealand. So judging by Google, it appears as if there are only two of us in the world right now.

Some days I wish I was him.

There's only one me. Which is probably for the best.