Glass half full...or half empty?
Posted by dolly on 10 October 2008 - 11:39am.
Boy we seem to like moaning. Subscription rates, John Lennon covers, dumb entertainment, worst books ever....
So, there is a glass on the table in front of you. Is it
a) half full? or
b) half empty?
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Half full
...of piss
Better have a drink then
If we're talking beer...
...it's binary - full or empty. If it's not full, it's empty - get them in!
It depends on what's happening to the glass
If you're drinking from it, it's half-empty.
If you're filling it up, it's half-full.
Hmmm... My glass seems to have some pedantry in it.
Four basic personality types
I'm struggling to remember a Dilbert strip here from way back. But I think I've got the gist...
Four basic personality types:
1. The glass is half full
2. The glass is half empty
3. Half full! No, half empty! No, wait. What was the question?
4. Hey! I ordered a cheeseburger!
I know exactly what you mean...
(although I think it was the Far Side...)
It's plastic
...and is cracked.
and
dirty. And sour. Oh, and I never ordered a drink
It'sh..
..fucking empty.
It WAS half full, and then I supped it, then half filled it and supped that..etc,then I wandered around muttering and swearing at the two identical cats, pulled "Tracks" by Heads Hands and Feet out of the shelf, put it back, ate something from the back of the fridge, said "goodnight ladies" to the gathering throng of angels, some of whom turned out to be men, apologised and fell into bed, the lyrics of Solomon Burkes' "None Of Us Are Free (While One Of Us Is Chained)" spinning around my head like a soulful, yet disconsolate mantra.
its all just too much / glass empty flashback
It is half empty cos its on it's bloody side and the missing contents have spilt over my trousers.
As a teetotaler ,the fluid is probably bright orange .Thus as the crotch is covered in a fashion suggestive of a bladders based blunder , the colour of the spreading liquid only serves to strengthen this suspicion .
This fact / fiction will then be spread ( LOUDLY ) by quiz team mates, by both audible means ,and including it in the written answers . Thereby ensuring that the quiz master by use of the PA will repeat this so everyone in the pub ( and the car park as well as those at the bus stop) .
Is 48 too old to take up alcohol ?
just make sure you have
plenty of ice in it, never drink anything that's blue or comes with picture of a nun on the label.
query
What about a dancing bee ?
Either Way
I really love drinking
Empty....
Well "Let My Love Open The Door" from Pete Townshend's first solo album, came up on the iPod whilst driving home today, so I guess mine's an "Empty Glass".........
c)
It's operating at 50% capacity.
Same here. I always say..
.."just half".
Overflowing.....
......with the milk of bloody human kindness. From a cracked nipple. (Ouch!)
Surely half empty
means you've just drunk the other half. Whereas half full means someone's given you short measure. The problem is when you realise that the half empty glass contains poison...
At least you've got a glass!
I used to dream of when I could have a glass...