Entertainment For Lively Minds
Garth Crooks just commenting on Wayne Rooneys 3 match ban..
Posted by BernkastelCues on 13 October 2011 - 6:35pm.
"We expected a one game ban"
"Two games are a hammer blow"
"three is a dagger to the heart"
Prompting a mirthful "tea/nose" evacuation from myself and Mrs Cues. This Shakespearean trail of gore delivered by a seemingly rational and calm Garth, speaking from what looked like a shopping centre food court.
I think he needs to cut down on the strong coffee and food additives.
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Yep, Crooks is usually more measured than that.....
.....Rooney, huh.
Who'd have thought?
I'm sure it came completely out of the blue to everyone.
Most sensible comment was by Brian Moore (ex-England rugby player) who turned a cliche around brilliantly:
'If you took that behaviour out of Rooney's game he wouldn't be the same player.....he'd be a better player.'
Now, if they could only ditch the other four/five time failures.
Amazingly
Rooney is "shocked" and "disappointed" about the decision, while Phil Neville thinks it's a conspiracy: "Rooney banned for three games what a joke - if it was a Dutch, Spanish, Italian or German player they wouldn't even get one game #fact." Bollocks, Zinedine Zidane got a three match ban for his assault in the world cup final. He didn't complain. In fact, he later said he “could never have lived with himself” if he had been allowed to stay on the pitch.
Stop winging, man up, and move on.
ZZ might have complained...
...if he hadn't already announced that the WWCF was his last game before retirement!
And he
might not have. That is speculation. I am talking about facts. According to Wikipedia:
He certainly didn't complain about that sentence.
No Euro Finals for him then...
I wouldn't include him in the squad on the basis of that decision.
Others might disagree, assuming that we will reinforce our position as serial quarter final losers in international tournaments, and he deserves a game at least!
I Read That As Garth Brooks
I'd love to hear what he has to say about it.
And Brooks(y) would almost
certainly have better insight into 'soccer' than Crooks(y)
Got a picture
in my head of Garth Brooks organising a line dancing contest based on a 4-4-2.
Funny you should say that...
..but some years ago I went to an away game at Carlisle United.
The half-time entertainment consisted of line-dancing from a local line-dancing school. To tie in with the football, they danced to the themes to Match Of The Day and Grandstand, badly. It didn't go down at all well.
Fantasy Football League
I'm sure Baddiel & Skinner had Garth Crooks sing a country song on their show once. Something about being an "intelligent ex-footballer, relatively speaking of course"
.
.
3) is a dagger in his
achy breaky heart
Wenn Saturday kommeth
Crooksy is massive value for money - it just ain't the same when he's not doing his erudite, wordly and faintly cantakerous old geezer routine on Final Score on the red button on BBC1 on Saturday afternoon (man, that sure is a lorra 'on's). Thanks to him, I now know what 'lachrymose' means - I had to go and look it up and everything! When he deployed said word, there were genial hoots from Fosse-legend Stevie Claridge and Mark Bright with muchos 'ooh get you's!
Furthermore, I'm convinced he's the only professional football player who actually speaks Anglo-Saxon : have you heard him ask a question? "So, Arsene Wenger ..... Arsenal .... the Premiership ..... could you win it .... a possibility?". Noun noun verb question ... err translative case ... glottal stops and umlauts, that's Ye Olde innit? Looking forward already to his translation of Beowulf : "I'm here to kill your monsh-tah ..... Gabby!"
Fosse-legend Stevie Claridge and Mark Bright
Shouldn't that be Legends,Freaky Trigger ? :)
my old school mate didn't do too well for your lot,did he ? Despite him being connected to Palace all the time he's Vale through and through and he's a genuinely decent bloke.
Crooks, on the other hand,played for and supports Stoke. this makes him a lard-eating spawn of the devil.
At least now
we can give up on any trace of unfounded optimism that will inevitably hit us next summer and just enjoy the football. We might by some quirk of fate actually do well now (no we wont will we).
What a fine example
of how ludicrously seriously people take football in England. It's not a dagger to my heart, 'cause I literally couldn't care less. He shouldn't go round kicking people ahead of a major tournament, the dafty.
"There is surely nothing worse than washing sieves
Which is spot on, really.
As for Rooney? Totally deserved. But at least it gives our piss awful pundit contingent a ready-made excuse when we perform poorly at Euro 2012, and head off on or before the quarter-final, as we inevitably will.
It'll save me the bother of watching and pretending to be interested.
Couldn't Care Less.
I really enjoyed the last Euros and that was because we (as in England) weren't in it. No ridiculously overblown expectations, no stupid bloody flags drooping out of car windows. No silly bastard fights, or outraged chants of 'If It Wasn't For The English You'd Be Krauts' when the local police decide enough is enough and batter the shaven-headed morons back to the railway station.
Couldn't Care Less.
I really enjoyed the last Euros and that was because we (as in England) weren't in it. No ridiculously overblown expectations, no stupid bloody flags drooping out of car windows. No silly bastard fights, or outraged chants of 'If It Wasn't For The English You'd Be Krauts' when the local police decide enough is enough and batter the shaven-headed morons back to the railway station.
That *was* actually worth saying twice
.
OK, me and Ranger
have disagreed in the past on the reason why England have failed but this is an opportunity for Fabio to leave all the failures behind and select a squad minus, Rooney, Terry, Lampard, Gerrard and Barry. Ashley Cole keeps his place because he is a genuinely top player and may be better off without his Chelsea cronies.
Let us not forget he deliberately kicked an opponent off the ball and in front of the ref, violent conduct which carries a 3 match ban. I think he's a wonderful footballer but he is also now a 25 year old man who lashed out under little or no provocation while representing his country. I have no sympathy at all, none.
Nail
Head
That is all
Ture
But I would have liked to see 'fuckwit millionaire dolt' in there as well - call me pedantic
I've long given up on the current England team
until Fabio and all the 30 plus brigade have gone. Then maybe someone will create a team, rather than just trying to shoehorn all the so-called stars into the starting line-up.
As for Rooney - did anybody seriously expect any other outcome from UEFA who, along with FIFA, love sticking the boot in (even more than Wayne) to England.
Nobody loves us and (at the moment) I don't care!
Are you saying
"Leave him Fabio, he ain't worth it," in a Patsy Palmer voice?
I don't know..
"..who lashed out under little or no provocation while representing his country.."
I'd consider your dad telling you to get yourself sent off in the XXth minute otherwise his mates in the gambling syndicate will be round to break your kneecaps with lump-hammers is plenty of provocation.
Wise words
Wise words indeed
I have
no interest in football whatsoever, but honestly, if you're paid that sort of money & you can't control your temper for 90 minutes, you deserve every thing you get.
Petulant idiot.
his petulance
is part of his genius.
His acting like a cock
is part of him being a cock.
his petulance is part of his genius.
his petulance is part of his genius.
No it isnt, I think it is a sign of his arrogance, a feeling that he is above the rules.
Just another example of the arrogance of Rooney.
As for the FA apealling - are they fucking blind? he kicked another player, what else could the referee do?
Pundits & fellow pros supporting him? Hardly a surprise is it?
He walked off without arguing? Since when was actually obeying the ref mitigation?
He, (Potato face), the FA, Cappello & The English football team deserve everything they get.
I hope any appeal results in a longer ban.
I'd laugh if the FA appealed
The same body that banned him for two games for swearing.
A-ha!
The whole 'you wouldn't like to lose that side of his game' argument. It's absolute balderdash in my opinion. He'd be a better player if he could keep his head.
He'd be a better player if he could keep his head
Bang on the money SM, well said.
I wish I could give you more than one arrow.
So
is this soccer ?
From the BBC:
Funny that whenever he's a bit naughty, he's always a 'former Everton man' rather than a 'current Man Utd man'.
Not that I'm bitter/paranoid/delusional or anything.
A footballer leaving the pitch
without contesting the decision is indeed a moment to savour and I think shows increasing maturity on the part of that much misunderstood young gent.
His dad was probably laying bets on that as well
Gesticulation 2:1/ heated disagreement 4:2 /Spontaneous Combustion 5:1 / Trips over wallet and shits on England Fan 6:1 Bar
I met Crooksy...
a couple of years ago, as I was accompanying one of my learners on a tour of the new Wembley. As my learner had won an award, one of his perks was having his photo taken with Crooksy, so we had a bit of a natter with him.
I actually asked him about the Garth Brooks reference, and, in fairness, he took it with good grace. He was really good with us and not at all pretentious. He did seem like a smart guy - smart enough to know that you might need an alternative 'tv personality' in order to get work. His eyes will occasionally twinkle on Final Score, so I think he knows himself that he can be a bit over the top.
Gordon Strachan & Garth Crooks
Garth is waiting in the Middlesbrough tunnel to interview Manager Gordon Strachan. A minion goes off to find Strachan to let him know. Strachan's alleged response is 'Tell him to start asking his question now, he might have finished the bloody thing by the time I get there'.
That's great
I love Gordon Strachan.
Journalist: (Opening question following Strachan's unveiling as Southampton boss) Do you think you're the man for the job?
GS: No, I'm rubbish. I think they should've got George Graham.
Me too
Strachan didn't have a good time at Middlesbrough and took some (not entirely undeserved) stick for the performances. What he was well liked for, on the other hand, was the quiet dignity with which he left and talked about the situation. He was seen as fundamentally decent, looking out for the club and football generally, and not after the quick payoff.
What I loved were the press conferences where he would encounter the stultifying rigidity of the journalistic throng and make it his mission to take dryness to new, ever greater heights of Atacama-like aridity. Late on in his time at the Boro, one particular press conference seemed d to peeve the hacks as he clearly wasn't going to play the "are you feeling under pressure" games they wanted to engage him in. Many took this as uncooperative and miserable. I thought he was incredibly funny and understatedly witty, which only served to confirm what I thought of him anyway.
Gone somewhat off the boil re: Garths hyperbole..
Onto the subject of said blather. But for what its worth I reckon England could actually do quite well, with or without Kartofellenkopf.
There seems to be a crop of formidably equipped youngsters emerging at just the right time, who could be brought into the team by a gambler with nothing to lose (Jones, Chamberlain) who I think will make a difference.
Drop Lamps, Stevie G, Ash, JT and all those other truffle fed pigs, and let the young and hungry have their chance I say.
Indeed
If our best players aren't good enough, replace them with slightly worse players.
Its all about attitude m'colleague
The aftermentioned "gnarled warhorses" (I once read Geoff Hurst described as that, been waiting 4o years to use it) may indeed be better players at this stage, but on past evidence they ain't gonny show that playing for England
The young spuds on the other hand, have it all to prove and may still be infused with a nationalistic idealism.
Get them stripped and on the pitch before they go cynical I say..
I disagree
I think all this stems from a tendency to put our failures down to quirks of psychology or lack of character on the part of the players.
In fact, we just aren't good enough at football to compete with the Spains of this world. And replacing the likes of Johny Terry, Ashley Cole and Steven Gerrard with (insert 'hungry' young player here) is more likely to make a negative difference than a positive one.
That is the beauty of free speech, Spartacus....
"Adopts nasally East Midlands with traces of Middlesborough accent" You are free to offer your considered opinions and I am free to still be right.
"Strides across school playing fields and shoots Hinton minor for missing from that range"
truffle fed pigs
truffle fed pigs - TMFTL
'A crop...
...of formidably equipped youngsters'?
That'd be a golden generation, wouldn't it?
(No subject)
Rooney is a pathetic moron
The type of lout who would want to stick a glass in your face if you looked at him the wrong way. Just because he dons a football shirt and plays for the top team in the country it doesn't mean for one minute that he is going to change.
Does anyone else think that Garth Crooks has a really peculiar shaped head. He reminds me of humpy dumpty.
Garth's head
You're right. It's odd.
And he has such sad sad eyes.
Rooney
What a man, What a player, What a prick!!!