Entertainment For Lively Minds
Fustrating Things In Modern Times
Maybe it's just been a bad Monday, but it kind of got me thinking thinking; is there anything more fustrating in modern day life than:
1)Not been able to connect to the internet when everything is connected up properly. Add to this the nightmare that is Windows Vista.
2) Stuck behind someone at cash point who seems incapable of drawing out money quickly and ponders over every button before they push it. One would think they were programming a NASA Space Shuttle such is their slug like pace at the controls.
3) Receiving a phone call in the office at 4.57pm just as you are logging off your computer.And it's the one call you were praying wouldn't get back to you all day.
4) Drivers who don't indicate and stuck behind "Sunday Driver" for 30 miles on a single lane and bendy road.
5) Big Brother.
6)Sharon Osbourne.
7) Kids playing music on their mobiles on the bus
8) Macdonalds still everywhere and still popular
9) Madonna still thinking she's cool.
10) George Lamb still broadcasting on 6music.
Other suggestions welcome.
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Number 11
Lists
People who
get on the bus and don't have their pass ready. The driver won't drive off until they've found it, so everyone else on the bus has to wait while this annoying person roots around in bags and jacket pockets, realises they don't have it, then finds they only have a tenner, no change, etc etc etc.
the worst
thing about these types is they is usually "slip" in front of you and them do the above, so they hav pushed in and held everyone up
Battle of the Sexes - Round 12: The supermarket queue
Almost without exception, all women will wait until the cashier says how much it is, and then and only then - with an expression that seems to say "Oh, I have to pay, do I?" - rummage through their handbag to find their purse, and then rummage through the purse for the money. As she hands it over, the cashier, who's been tapping her pen against the barcode reader, sucking in air at four-second intervals, suddenly realises that the till roll has run out, immediately followed by the realisation that there aren't any new ones. She then dumps a "TILL CLOSED" sign on the conveyor and disappears for ten minutes, ostensibly hunting for the manager but actually outside the loading bay at the back having a fag.
Almost without exception, all men will walk down the aisle towards the checkout already opening their wallets, having made a mental calculation of the rough cost of what they are buying, so that the necessary funds are clutched in their fist when they join the queue. They will then shuffle from foot to foot, muttering to nobody in particular, "Can't they open another bloody till or something?"
Agreed
Thought this was just me. Men do not chat with the friends in supermarkets whilst clutching their trolley's to block the whole aisle either. Or use coupons.
That's me as well
And it gets extra annoying when a bunch of coupons is thrust in the cashier's direction who then goes through them calculating the discount and discarding some with a "we don't stock this".
Kafkaesqe and labyrinthine world of customer helplines
Trying to deal with any company who provides a service, by phone. Numbered choices to select, being on hold for ever, having to explain everything all over again to someone new after having already explained it all before. Then they don't do what they said they would. Over and over.
I was gobsmacked recently when...
I rang up a help desk and the recorded message told me they couldn't help me "due to the volume of calls" and hung up. I wasn't even placed in a queue. I rang up again just to see if I had heard it right, I did. Thanks for the help.
Try this
One for Cookieboy. Some woman phoned up from a lawyers office to leave a message for someone who had left my flat,and indeed the country, and got angry with me because she thought i hadn't written the number down and demanded i read it back to her like you would ask a child to do.When i asked her to change her tone she just got angrier.Strange world these days.
The wrong numbers that aren't their fault
"Well, that's not what I dialled. Who are you?" one woman stroppily demanded to know after I told her what my number was.
That was half an hour ago. I can't remember the last time somebody actually apologised for having bothered me by dialling the wrong number.
We used to get a lot of wrong number calls
to our ex-directory number. A very plummy older lady's voice would enquire, "Is Ian thaa?" or "May I speak to Ian, please?".
After explaining that there is no Ian at our address, she would hesitate and then ask "Are you ebsolutely shaw?".
It rapidly became obvious that a certain amount of gin had been consumed. However clearly it was explained that he didn't live with us, our caller ignored our protestations and simply asked us to ask him to "Call me back" on his return. No name or number was ever given, so even if Ian had returned from the black hole of alternative reality, we would not have been able to pass on any useful instructions.
Over the months, Ian developed a very lively social life. He spent a month or two visiting relatives in Iceland, then took up hang-gliding, followed by elephant breeding. I think our caller might eventually have suspected that we were gently taking the piss, but it was all very polite and well mannered. Very English.
Evidently Ian must have put in an appearance chez-Madame at some point, and presumably disavowed her of any illusions about his whereabouts. The calls dried up, sadly. I'm always a tad hopeful when the phone rings at odd times over the weekend.
What gets MY goat is when
you answer your phone and they say "who's this?"
An Agony Uncle writes...
OK then:
Numbers 2, 3 and 4 have at least as much to do with your level of impatience, wanting the world to Hurry Up. Deep breaths, David, deep breaths.
Numbers 5, 6, 8 and 10 are perfect examples of what the Off Switch is for. Easily sorted.
Number 9 - who cares what she thinks? Why should you care?
Numbers 1 and 7 - well, you've got me there. Try a new service provider, switch to a Mac, and wear noise-cancelling headphones, perhaps?
(As for Number 11 - there's always one, isn't there?)
Zen: Manage Your Expectations
It's not the traffic jam itself that's getting you angry. It's your expectations of getting to your destination quickly that is the cause of your anger.
Accept that you will be here for a long time and your anger will go.
Now apply to the rest of your life.
One For Archie
When i first moved to Spain years back,I used to get phone calls from some Lady asking to speak to her Daughter Neus. After informing her many times she didn't live at this number. The Woman told me that i was answering the wrong phone and Neus would be angry with me when she finds out.
Either this was the world's greatest practical joke or just everyday Spanish view on things.The clue is it's Spain.
It's the Norm
"What have you done with my Norm? Why are you impersonating him and living in his house?"
32 year old Victor Meldrew from Dagenham
As mentioned above people (sorry usually women) waiting till the last moment to get purse out or even worse the people that stand there right till the end to start putting their shopping into bags.
As someone who relies on public transport to get everywhere the playing of songs on mobiles has been a bugbear for a while or even better the girl who once on the same carriage on the district line who not only played her music out loud but sang at the top of her voice to it as well - had my iPod on and could still hear her.
The other thing that really annoys me is holding a door open for someone while leaving or entering a shop and the person doesn't say thank you.
May just be me but lately I've been getting really wound up when I see people using their mobile by putting the phone to their mouth like a walkie talkie when they are talking - what is that all about? Worse still is the fact I'm getting wound up myself for being wound up as something so stupid.
Moan over, thanks for letting me get these things off my chest.
Mobile usage
I blame The Apprentice for that walkie-talkie mobile thing. They all do it on that.
Also Kirsty
off Location Location Location. Mind you I do like Kirsty. Or is it Kirstie?
It's Kirstie
and lay off her, she's splendid
Phwoar
Kirstie can measure my gaff anytime she likes.
America
I've just come back from a week long course in America. We stayed in the beautiful town of Hanover, NH. One of the 'grumpy old men' who was with us complained that:
a) the people were "too polite";
b) the town was "too clean"; and
c) there weren't enough "noisy kids" around.
I think he'd have complained about the opposite of each of these things being true if we'd still been in Britain. I guess we just all reach a certain age at which our default mode becomes 'find things to complain about'.
American manners
MrsP and I were in Atlanta, Georgia. A young man came running along the road and almost collided with MrsP. He stopped, turned round and said "Please excuse me. I'm very sorry" and continued on his way. Had that been a street in London I'm sure we'd have been on the end of some effing & blinding.
People walking and listening to ipods
Another gripe (whilst we are at it). People listening to ipods cant walk in a straight line. They have no sense of spatial awareness. In a world of their own, they drift from one side of a pavement to another or, and this is particularly annoying, sway as they go along a tube platform which means that you cant get round them. And, of course, they can't hear you say "Excuse me" and then when you brush (lightly) past them, avoiding their latest bodyswerve, they have the temerity to give you a dirty look.
I find this quite irksome. The End.
Tradesmen
...........bastard tradesmen who let you down. My house is a wreck, and a wreck with no kitchen at that, due to an electrician, critical to the maintenance of the plan, who couldn't be arsed to turn up as planned. He also couldn't be arsed to phone to explain, respond to numerous messages, etc. So all the other decent coves trying to do their jobs can't get on while we await another guy.
The infuriating thing is there is no comeback on these people. I still here now awaiting someone due to arrive at 8 - it is 9.25!
Someone is launching a website called Unreliabletradesmen.co which I guess will be a wall of shame for these guys - but it is still in preparation. So while we wait, DON'T use John Stamp, resident of Stevenage, mobile no 078770 37493 as he is totally unreliable.
i feel better now.
And whatever you do,
never, Never, NEVER engage the services of anyone sent by Bodge & Quit, that well known retail park Do It Yourself merchant, who obviously use the shoddiest, least reliable cowboys they can find, as the world-class debacle known as "my kitchen" proves.