... I'm currently learning German (which I'm finding really hard - they've got 16 ways of saying "the") and if they have as many ways as we do of "not saying what they do mean" or " not saying what they don't mean", I'm fucked.

...and I only have a few minor comments on your post... :-D

A pound to a pinch of shite, however, that something very similar gets given to junior foreign diplomats prior to their engaging in talks with Brits.

"I wonder if you wouldn't mind ...?"

What the British mean: "Do it now"

What they understand: "I might do it later, purely at my discretion"

as in:
"Sorry!" - "Let me through"
"Sorry" - "I disagree with you"
"Sorry" - "What?"
"Sorry" - "I'm not sorry at all"
"Sorry" - "Speak up"
"Sorry" - "Excuse me"
and, rarely,

"Sorry - "I am sorry"

had it nailed perfectly, "that is a brave decision minister" !".

In a previous life I worked in IT for software houses specialising in the financial sector. One of our clients was one of the leading Dutch banks. Mike, our Project Manager, was overhead by one of the Directors telling our senior contact at the bank that 'No, we wouldn't do that, we'd be doing this instead'. He was then taken aside and reminded that we never use the word 'No' to a client, but rather dress it it up in more conciliatory language. Mike defended himself by saying that he had been particularly asked by the Dutch to say what he meant as they didn't understand our British evasiveness.

A few months earlier the Dutch had suggested that they did something that wouldn't work, so with typical British understatement, he had told them that this was 'not a good idea'. When a few weeks later the bank rang to say their idea had failed, he said 'Yes, I told you so', 'No, you didn't, you just said it wasn't a good idea'. They were not best pleased that our failure to say what we meant had wasted many man hours which could have been put to better use. He was surprised that they didn't understand English as we speak it.

Of course Mike was given permission to speak bluntly to the Dutch but to continue to speak with forked tongue to our British clients.

At one point I was managing a global IT operation with around 650 staff, and we ran a number of inter cultural working seminars to try to get Pete to work together effectively. Many of the good bits were to do with communication. Somewhere I have a table like Bob's with cultural differences by national groups, which is jolly interesting too! My take away is don't get between the French and the Germans!

You guys are all just Swedes in disguise, aren't you ?

Unequivocally so. I shall send it post haste to my transatlantic colleagues (co-workers if you must) who regularly misconstrue my oddly locuted - to their ears - understatements as imprecise evidence of complicity in their hapless - to my mind - enthusiasms.

In other words - reaching out and hoping for non-pushback so we can go from awesome to awesomer. How can we get awesomer? That's the code I live by dude.

I have come to find means:

He/She is incompetent/a slapper/a drunk/stupid/shameless/amoral/out of their depth/dishonest/etc. and they and you and everyone knows it.

Only just figured out the question was largely rhetorical.

Did you write this?

Brit speak: "It just needs a couple of tweaks."
Brit means: "Jesus H Tap Dancing Christ this is abysmal."
Other understands: "Oh good, only minor revisions then."

There's probably some little stupid bit of your half-assed idea we could use

Oh goodie, they really like it, they mean if it's got legs they'll "run with it"

I'm running a course this week with some Angolans, Kazakhs and Arabs. I'm going to use this today.

"I think my right honourable friend is mistaken" == "you're a bloody liar"