I mean really, the whole part of my brain that is a Carry On film is going mad, the inside of my head sounds like Sid James.

Right, composure Mr L, composure.

Not so sure it's a naughty nibble, but if I'm carving a roast chicken nobody at the dinner table will get the oysters. Carver's perks and all that.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oyster_(fowl)

great big crispy beer battered ones. We went to the Hard Rock Cafe in Florida a few years ago,i had 2 bowls of them with blue cheese dip..mmm..best ones ever

Once a month I revert to childhood and treat myself to fish fingers, chips, baked beans and a fried egg.

and a very, very happy New Year to you. Quite simply at the moment it is Kronenburg 1664 and Extreme Spicy Sour Cream and Onion Pringles. Simple me.

By the way, yur post reminded me of the film "9 and Half Weeks" so thank you for that ;o)

Of the bowl the rice pudding was baked in. Actually, we have ice cream with rice pudding which is pretty indulgent.

...about my pleasures. Well not for me, anyway. Desperately trying to put weight on so anything with mega calories and fat does it. Favourites are porridge for breakfast with crème fraîche and honey and Waitrose butter croissants with extra butter, Tiptree marmalade and crème fraîche (again)

the least healthy breakfast ever.

Take a cinnamon and raisin bagel. Cut it in half and fry the cut side down in a generous amount of butter. When it is a lovely crisp brown, turn it over and fry the other side.

When done, add another knob of butter and fry some slices of banana* in the same pan. When they are brown, flip the over and do the sam on the other side. Add a generous slug of maple syrup and when its bubbling, pour the bananas and maple syrup over the fried bagel. Then spoon a large lump of mascarpone onto the top.

Eat.

Then go for a lay down.

* these will no longer count as one of your five a day.

Pork scratchings
Pork crackling
Salt beef
Chocolate
Jellybelly jellybeans
Kebabs

Keep me supplied in quantities of that lot and I'll lick your feet.

thats a tin of beans tipped into a pan with as much cheese as you can grate until your arm dies on you, heat, melt, and eat--chilli powder optional!!

Though Mrs Law shouts at me when I do.

She much prefers it when I flush.

....the layer of it round a piece of roast pork. Love that, with or without the meat. Never been mad about the crackling though.

Or egg and chips. With a big blob of wholegrain mustard and a huge dollop of mayonnaise.
Two eggs, fried with nice runny yolks.
Yum Yum.
And I'm very tempted to cook up Leedsboy's breakfast. That sounds delicious.

Horseradish on it's own. My prediliction for pickled onions is well known amongst my family. I'm from Devon so I also eat clotted cream by the spoon

I'm a horrendous hedonistic food addict. I don't have a terrific sweet tooth, but fatty foods? Fuhgeddaboudid. Like Hannah, I'd think nothing of a spoonful of thick double cream on its own. I've also recently developed a good line in homemade pork scratchings. I'll eat owt, me. Sometimes really fine food, sometimes utter shit. If it tastes good, I'm in. To which end, ladies and gentlemen, I give you...

The McDonald's Sausage, Egg and Cheese bagel. Everything about it is wrong. Everything about it is right.

(See also Sausage and Egg McMuffin)

It's usually muesli, stir frys with no oil and a tin of tuna with nothing added.
But when I fall off the wagon it's gloves off and I'm in the empty calorie corner.
Whole lumps of cheese get devoured in one sitting with lashings of caremilised onion chutney.
Cheesecake will be scoffed with cream and ice-cream.
Boxes of Lindt won't see the night through.
Toast is trebled in thickness with butter and jam, and it's four slices, not two.

The guilt has already set in like lard in an artery and I yearn for January 2nd when the madness ends.

http://www.nigella.com/

That is all.

at the Liverpool mingle. I have wasabi nuts AND crisps lined up for that special occasion. You know you can't resist. If you ask nicely I will also bring my wintergreen-flavoured Tic Tacs. Mmmmm.

you kind of have a different attitude to these things.

But don't let me spoil the party...

Old favourites:

Crumble - apple and blackberry with a dollop of cream on top.

Bread and Butter pudding - had a white chocolate and Baileys flavour one once when on holiday in the Isles of Scilly. Absolute food porn.

And newer ones:

Suckling pig - only eaten on holiday in Spain. Gorgeous big chunk of a little piggie, though slightly disconcerting when you get the ear, which has turned into a crunchy piece of crackling.

Puntillitas - eated in Spain this year for the first time. Think the squid equivalent of whitebait. Tiny, fingernail sized whole baby squid (weeny tentacles and all), deep fried in a light batter.

muffin with clotted cream and raspberry jam, the scrapings from a roast tin, Irish floury potatoes, that French butter with bits of sea salt and when all else fails, a proper Irish breakfast which lasts you all day with sofa bread.

...of crunchy peanut butter.

spooned from the jar, into one's gob.

Sod the mince pie. Just the butter. When I get home I'm going straight to the supermarket and buying an enormous tub of it. Then I'm going to lock myself in the kitchen (tricky, because there's no lock) and recreate La Grande Bouffe until I die.

I made porridge the way we were once served it at Miller Howe, one time foodie hotel nr Windermere.

1 cup porridge oats (HAS to be Mornflake)
1 cup milk
1 cup water

Microwave 3-5 mins

Serve with cream, dark sugar and capful of whisky.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!

Cheesy Footballs. I can do whole tub in one sitting, easy. The rest of the year I love my restaurant food (Michelin & Non) but once a year............

By the tin.

Supreme orgasmic satisfaction.

Followed not too long after by substantial nausea.
But it's worth it.

Ramsay of Carluke black pudding. Seek it out, you won't be disappointed.
Lindt milk or dark chocolate with a touch of sea salt. Salt and chocolate? Don't be daft I hear you say. Don't knock it till you've tried it, I say.

Thin chocolate domes, soft biscuit base and unnaturally white "cream" inside, red-and-silver foil wrapping. You know the ones. Thought I'd take a treat home for the family. Reached the park, fancied one. Sat on a bench. Yum. Had another. Yum. Had four. I can actually put a whole one in my mouth in one go. Thought, this is so wrong. Had another two. Of course, I couldn't go home with a 10-pack and six missing. Toyed with the idea of lying. I'd say, "Ooh, there were six" (I know they do a six-pack, I'm a connoisseur) "and I had a couple on the way home, and the box...broke." Transparent. I'd have to throw the last four away and they would never know I'd bought them in the first place. Found a bin. Had another one, as by now I wasn't feeling quite so full. And had another one. Threw the last two away. Felt guilty for several years.

toast (white, or granary) that has cooled down a bit, Lupak, and marmite.

pork in almost any form, with fat if it's hot.

in consolation, I know this is bad for me, and only eat it around this time of year.

Not that it makes me any thinner.

skin.

My 9 year old daughter asked what I was eating and after trying it, asks me all the time when are we having fried bread again. Not too often I hasten to add.

Inspired by a long-established habit of my father-in-law, I took offcuts from a sumptuous Christmas roast beef cut, as well as spare roast potatoes and the fatty bits of the meat that no-one wanted. I put them on a plate, clingfilmed it over, and left in the fridge overnight.

In the morning, I was up with the kids at about 6.30am. I put the lot into a hot frying pan, with a little oil. I added some bacon and mushrooms and fried the living daylights out of the mixture. A single fried egg was placed atop - washed down with two large mugs of tea. Boilk.

In psychology, sublimation is a mature type of defence mechanism where socially unacceptable impulses or idealizations are consciously transformed into socially acceptable actions or behaviour, possibly converting the initial impulse in the long term. According to Wade and Tavris, sublimation is when displacement "serves a higher cultural or socially useful purpose, as in the creation of art or inventions." As used by Freud, the word designated the concept of a spiritual redirection of the libido, and has roots in his psychoanalytical theory.

As for me, I've been trying to cut down lately and stick to healthy food so i do find myself drawn to quorn sites on the internet

Take a classic doorstep loaf, ideally from one of Dublin's even-numbered suburbs. Cut in half, and then in half again. You now have enough bread for two sandwiches. Take large pork sausages, cut in half, and line the bottom of the sandwich. Add heady spoonfuls of mayo, spring onion and salt-and-pepper rich potato salad. Wrap in cellophane, and decamp to the steps in Botany Bay at Trinity College Dublin to make an unholy mess. Enjoy.

Big ones, Mrs. Cooked in 8 inch cake tins. Lots of batter (made with at least 2 eggs) gets poured into the sizzling fat and then cooked until they're golden so the base is thick, rich and doughy (sounds a bit like Robbie Williams).

Lob them out and fill with gravy and roast potatoes.

They last about 17 seconds.

Also, like Lenny, I love licking cake mixture out of the bowl. However so does Mrs B and Little Noo. I often find them queuing behind me in the kitchen waiting to mug me for the spatula once I've put the cake in the oven.

Very tasty...a perfect blending of flavours...lol