Idaho to Illinois is a journey of 1666 miles, beating the Proclaimers by a devilish amount.

I was flummoxed the first time I heard Being Boiled by the Human League. Apart from the fact that it was like tuning into to an alien radio station (up to that point, my musical education had revolved around Deep Purple, Budgie and Status Quo), I had no idea what the song was about - what the hell was "sericulture"?
I only found out years later that it was silk farming, which was frankly something of a let down.

"Elenore, gee, I think you're swell
And you really do me well
You're my pride and joy etcetera"

"Etcetera"?

I've often wondered whether the timings on By The Time I Get To Phoenix stack up in real life.
How long does it take to get from Phoenix to Albuquerque? From getting up time to lunchtime as in the song? Daft thing to wonder about but I think it's well-established that pop music turns our brains into blancmange.

That triple rhyme in Sunny Boy is Smokey at his best: sunny boy, corduroy, Illinois (and the "anywhere" a smart back reference to the "anything" in the previous line).
There's a song, This Better Be Good, on the latest Fountains Of Wayne album that rhymes "trusted", "busted" and "mustard" (then "work" and "jerk" in the same line).

However far it is ,as far as chaffing goes Silk beats Corduroy every time. Can you imagine the annoying "vurt,vurt" noise of his cords rubbing together, it could take the shine off things. there's the line in cat stevens song about the lad "being young , that's your fault" which is great if harse.

around the US - is there anywhere on the planet that is still more than 24 hours from Tulsa? How slow would you have to travel?

the 'etcetera' was deliberate since The Turtles were intending the tune to be a piss-take of bubblegum pop with suitably 'throwaway' lyrics. Ironically it turned out to be one of their biggest hits. They even performed it at the White House because Nixon's daughter was a big fan of the band. The tune originally features on one of their 1968 album 'The Turtles Present The Battle Of The Bands' ( one of the great 'lost' albums of the period ) where the group adopt different personas and styles for all the tracks. One of the other featured tracks is 'Buzzsaw'- now used as a theme tune to Jonathan Ross's TV show. Ifangyew.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers' Around The World baffles me. Anthony Kiedis has always been a writer of utterly meaningless lyrics, but this couplet floored me when I first heard it:

I know, I know for sure
Ning nang nong nong ning nang nong nong ning nang

What is he trying to say?

Are they officially the World's Worst Group or are Rage Against The Machine still going?

...but aren't they one of the most popular groups in the whole wide world?

Surely the real point is that it's one of the few pop songs to mention corduroy.Although unspecific about whether it was elephant or needle cord, fact is there aren't many of them around.
Diana Ross is good at this kind of thing. She once had a Momma who "died cooking home made jam".
Not many confection-related deaths around in pop even today.

unless you count The Jam's 'Going Underground' of course.

...Sometimes the sun goes 'round the moon" This was Save The Best For Last by Vannesa Williams. I've no idea how the rest of the songs goes as, many years later, I'm still trying to figure out the scientific implications of it all.

It's on America's tortured brow
That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow
Now the workers have struck for fame
Cause Lennon's on sale again
See the mice in their million hordes
From Ibiza to the Norfolk Broads
Rule Brittania is out of bounds
To my mother, my dog and clowns

This lyric has baffled me since I first heard it. What's David Bowie on about?

...thanks to Joanna Newsom. You learn something new every day : )

'She's a Killer Queen/Gunpowder, Gelatine/Dynamite with a laser beam/Guaranteed to blow your mind/Anytime'

So, let's get this straight. If she doesn't get you with the dynamite/laser beam combination she can emulsify you to death.

doesn't 'do' walking does she? I imagine she'd be carried aloft in a sedan chair by a troupe of backing dancers...

.....adding to the sum greater than the words alone?
Steve Forbert,"Jan 23-30,1978" (Jackrabbit Slim):
"It's often said that life is strange: o, yes, compared to what?"
How much do I love that?!

"I see friends shaking hands, saying How Do You Do, what they're really saying is I Love You."

To be one of the most touching ever written - but importantly only when it is sung by Nick Cave and Shane McGowan.

Well, that line and the entire lyric of 'Atmosphere' by the previously mentioned Russ Abbott, obviously (but importantly not sung by Nick Cave and Shane McGowan... though I'd love to hear them try).

totally baffle anyone not totally in thrall to south east London's rail network!

And how the hell do you work out directions for Charlene, who has "Never Been To Me..."

In the lyrics to 'Prettiest Star' Bowie sings..

"Cold fire, you've got everything but cold fire"

What the blazes is 'cold fire'?

is that 'the prettiest star' has, in fact, 'everything' ( since 'cold fire'- in this context- is a poetic conceit illustrating something that does not, and cannot, physically exist ).

just posting in another strand (album clunkers) and I thought of this one:

And if you think I'm happy
Paint me white(yellow)

and more such stuff. what IS Arthur on about? could this album have something to do with drugs?

come to that a lot of Kurt Wagner's lyrics are pretty "open to interpretation":

The smokey joe is broken
Drops into your lap
And the big red wasp
Makes a scan through
My black pages

What?? good song though

It's an interesting theory, and I agree that he's produced moments of high ridiculousness, but surely the worst lyricists in pop history just HAVE to be the Manic Street Preachers??

they're crap.

my main problem with the Manics is that the words feel as if they've been 'nailed' onto the song like a bad piece of DIY. Plus, all too often it sounds like mediocre fifth-form 'save the seal' type sloganeering. I'd be interested to know which High Street bank they put they're royalties into...'Lloyds, Nat West or Midland?' The other thing about them which often makes me smile is the fact that they look so funny. A middle-aged big-boned lad in a skirt and eye-liner...a singer who resembles a porcine Albert Steptoe...and a fully-fledged Krankie on drums. Chuck in a few impressions and they could be the Barron Knights of a new generation ( terrorists ).

I meant 'their' of course.

In The Lonnie Donegan hit My Old Man's A Dustman the aforementioned old man wears what are referred to as "Cor Blimey Trousers."

I have absolutely know idea what Cor Blimey Trousers are, or if such a garment even exists.

If I walked into a tailors on Saville Row and asked them to measure me for a pair, would they know what I was talking about and compliment on my choice?

Always loved these, two examples -

New England - Billy Bragg "I was 21 years when I wrote this song, I'm 22 now but wont be for long" and

Hey Mister Thats Me Up On The Jukebox - James Taylor "Hey Mister thats me up on the jukebox, I'm the one singing this damn song"

Both logically impossible.

"Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak, somewhere in this town."
My guess is the jail.

This has baffled me since 1985. There must be some deep Scandinavian meaning behind this attempt to portray the despair of the working man:

"He likes a bit of reading on the subway home
A distant radio whistling tunes that nobody knows
At home a house awaits him, he unlocks the door
Thinking once there was a sea here but there never was a door"

I was always personally bemused by the syntax of "Take on me".....