out of a pub and into a taxi. It was bloody hard work.

The mother of one of my friends once dated Davy Jones from The Monkees in Manchester before he was famous.

My Dad used to work-out in the gym with Sir Larry

of Danny Wilson fame was two years below me at art school

I worked with one of his daughters many years ago. And we remain firm friends to this day.

Tony and his lovely wife Sue sent my wife and I a gift when our little girl was born a few years ago.

He's a wonderful bloke and very soft spoken offstage.

of 'One Foot...' fame once sent my Dad a Christmas card.

Crazy days!

As my dad would tell it, Elizabeth Taylor bought him a drink. But the reality is that she was at the pub with Richard Burton, and he bought everyone a drink.

Clare Grogan was in the year ahead of me at Langside College.

I sold Robert Young (then "Dungo", later "Throbert") his first amp, a Marshall bass amp, when he was about 15. The next time I saw him was many years later at a Dan Penn gig at the 13th Note in Glasgow. I went over to introduce myself, and got no further than "Robert, hi, you probably won't remember me ..." when he interrupted with a hug and "YOU SOLD ME MY FIRST AMP! IT'S YOUR FAULT I'M DOING THIS!!".

Which was nice.

but was only vaguely aware that he was Michael Reagan , son of the late Bedtime for Bozo co-star.

...a lad who was at university with Feargal Sharkey's (perfect) cousin, Kevin.

Subbuteo ability sadly unconfirmed.

Oh, and I used to work in the same office as Elton John's dad, Stan Dwight.

...in the lift at the Clarendon Hotel in Dublin. Oh, and I once worked with a girl called Tuula, in Dartford, whose Mum dated Mick Jagger before he was famous. (ergo - a long time ago

I may have been the first 18 year old ever to vote in this country.
Ted Heath went to the country on 28th February 1974, my 18th birthday.
I got to the polling station minutes before it opened and if nothing else was the first person in that ward to vote.
It's not verifiable, but I've never heard of anyone else making this claim.
I was most irritated that evening watching Nationwide, when they spoke to a girl who had also voted on her 18th birthday. I'd done it hours earlier. Where were the cameras for me?

(I have no recollection of his name nor can I be arsed to look it up) took my sister on a few "dates" in the early 70's.

But back in the late 1950s, my mother briefly dated a young actor who later became better known by the name of "Compo" in Last Of The Summer Wine.

I also know someone whose mum lost her virginity to Peter Stringfellow.

the late Steven Campbell, artist (he did the cover of Sting's Soul Cages, you know).

http://www.art-company-scotland.com/catalog.asp?int_catalog_id=2

I got Rivelino's autograph at the Glasgow Albany Hotel in 1972, when Brazil played Scotland in a friendly. (No need to ask who won)

I spent a week on the lash with Showaddywaddy in 1998.

I spent a week on the lash with Shakatak in 1998.

I met Danny McGrain, Frankie Gray, John Wark and Kenny Burns in the mens toilets in the Manhattan disco, Glasgow, following a match against Israel at Hampden. And, yes, all present were in the toilets for a pish.

I was in the adjacent bed to Frankie Millers dad, in the Glasgow Royal Infirmary, circa 1979.

with De(a)rren Brown. His dad was the swimming teacher - Bob Brown. Huge fat bloke, very macho.

Jarvis Cocker

used to go out with Tom Baker.

R. D. Laing's son Adrian, with whom I did enjoy many a slightly squiffy game of pool when we should both have been at lectures.

A good friend of mine only went and married Grant Morrison. After years of radio silence (I moved abroad) we got back in touch and after drinks together as a foursome, la señora Exterior and I (plus 2 sprogs)were invited to lunch at theirs the next week.

They served us jaffa cakes and cider. Juice for the kids, of course.

...from the same teacher as Chris Copping of Procul Harum. Got the bus to her house with him once...

I went out for drinks (romantically) a coupla times with Magenta DeVine's sister. Talk about chalk and cheese.
We were colleagues at the time. You'd never guess what her job was.

...went to the same school (at the same time) as Jon Anderson, the lead singer of Owner of a Lonely Heart hitmakers, Yes.

Also, I was onced pounced upon and voraciously licked by Tony Wilson's Weimarener (a dog like the one in the Blue Monday video). Tony managed to calm it down, but not before I told him to control his animal.

My Dad got drunk with Sean Connery in Bray Co Wicklow in the 70's while he was making a film here. He was staying in the same hotel as us. On the same holiday Luke Kelly bumped into my kid brother and gave him a Punt as way of an apology. He still has it cos my dad had the foresight to get him to sign it.

When I was still at school in around 1983 or so I was having a crafty gasper with some friends when a car drew up alongside us and the bloke at the wheel asked us if we knew where Sting lived. It was Andy Summers.

Apparently the 'Walking In Your Footsteps' hitmaker had just bought a new house and Summers didn't know how to get there.

I used to go out with a girl who's mother knew someone who had had Roger Daltrey's lovechild.

... went out (briefly) with someone who had once been out with Jason Connery

Will this do?

... was in a band that topped John Peel's Festive Fifty once. And no, she's not Mark E Smith.

...but Enid Blyton either baby sat my mother, or my granny babysat for Enid Blyton. Anyway the upshot was I have her autograph somewhere. The same grandmother's cousin made the petticoat that the Queen wore for the Coronation, a fact that we only weedled out of her when she was near death, as she didn't think it appropriate to discuss the Queen's undergarments.

Clive James nearly knocked me over whilst dashing into Fortnum and Mason.

In my home town where the godmother was Lee Starkey, daughter of Thomas The Tank Engine voiceover chap. Seems that Bolton is the "in" place to be these days; Tony Visconti's son was at Bolton University (might still be) according to his MySpace page. Former Bolton resident Annie Haslam of Renaissance sent me a signed CD.

Anyone from BBC moving up t'north could do worse than living in the town. Then I might bump into more famous folk when out walking me whippet.

My mum went to Dartford Grammar School For Girls. Mick Jagger went to Dartford Grammar School For Boys.

He was in the year below my mum.

She thinks she might have tapped off with him for a quick fope and grumble after a joint school production of Antigone in 1955. Or it might have been someone who looked like him.

She knows that, whoever he was, he was a shortarse.

when I was 9.
He signed my copy of Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator & was a very charming and charismatic fellow.

I was at university with the drummer out of the Beat Poets.

I was at school with Alan Thompson, long-standing bass player with John Martyn (and with artist Murray Robertson).

I lived a few streets away from Brian Robertson's mum.

I bought a guitar which had been dropped on its front by LLoyd Cole - I still play it!

Rosalind Miles (Shakespearean Scholar and feminist authoress), when in her teens.

with Thom Yorke (drums) and Colin Greenwood (bass).

...was the referee for a football game shown in Playing the Field, the BBC series about a women's football team that was on in the late 90s.

...is in the current Sky trailer for the Champions League. (He's the distinguished looking, grey-haired gent sitting behind the goal looking more than a tad disconsolate as Ronaldo rolls Man USA's third into the net in the second leg of last season's semi-final.)

You wanted "feeble".

the night JFK died. Not sure if this is my claim to fame or my mum's.

I went to the final* of Italia '90 with Andrew Ridgeley's dad.

He, like his son, was a fine looking chap, of Egyptian extraction IIRC. He worked for the photographic company Canon, who were one of the sponsors of the competition. I worked for a camera shop in Glasgow at the time and had to design a World Cup themed window display. To my obvious delight, I was one of the winners, and enjoyed a very pleasant few days in the company of Mr. Ridgeley Snr.

*Underwhelming game - the then West Germany defeating Argentina. My strongest memory is seeing Maradona's extraordinary pre-match ball-juggling.

I went to school with Amanda Posey, Nick Hornby's wife.

At same school was Jon Pertwee's niece.

And my oldest friend lived 2 doors away from Jeremy Irons and Sinead Cusack.

once or twice removed. My dad is quite proud of this fact; I want to kill myself.

Martin Noble, used to be one of my Scouts.

I'd like to think I had a small hand in their penchant for maps, wildlife & all things bucolic.

came to tea at my Grandmother's once.

said, "It's okay man". and Terry Woods (Pogues) picked me up hitchhiking.

... did the exit interview for Paul Banks when he left HMV in York to concentrate full time on being the guitarist in Shed Seven.

Nobody cared then either..!

with one of Ride's road crew...

That's three degrees of separation from Liam & Noel.
Four degrees of separation from Patsy Kensit and Tony Blair.

Man, I feel good!

I had to cross reference this on the web for dates, but here goes ...

Jim Hermiston was a full back with Aberdeen in the late '60s and early '70s, long before useful players like himself were earning the kind of money that even a journeyman at Aberdeen today would get ... in 1975-ish, when he was still only in his 20s, he decided to pack in this football lark and get a proper job with Grampian's finest, although that didn't last long ...

in his brief spell as an Aberdeen bobby (when I was around 12), he was called out to a disturbance one evening ... in my street ... (someone may have nicked a car and gone joy riding) ... my dad was one of those who called the police so two officers duly came to the door and came in to take a statement ... (it was late at night)

considerate dad came through to the bedroom, woke me up, and said, 'Guess who's in the living room?' 'Err...' 'Jim Hermiston! Come through and meet him!'

Sleepy, dishevelled, 12 and starstruck, i thought, 'I can't meet Jim Hermiston wearing just my pyjamas!' And retreated under the covers...

The great man emigrated to Australia soon afterwards where he played football again for clubs in the Brisbane area, then when he properly quit football he joined the Queensland police (and retired in 2003, says Wikipedia) ...

once came back to mine for a cup of coffee after a talk he did for me. I pulled into the drive first and guided him and his Rolls Royce in afterwards. I was delighted to be able to report to him that one of his rear sidelights was not functioning.

is my mum's sister's ex husband's brother in law.

I went to his gaff once when I was about 7 or 8. He was out.

Who needs Hammer of The Gods after this ?
1) I employed a girl whose brother was in The Men They Couldn't Hang
2)I lived over the road from the Blonde Girl in Frazier Chorus
3)I used to sign on in Bognor Regis the same time as Ian McCulloch's Sister.
4)My Dog used to play with Jeremy from the Levellers'Dog on Hove Lawns,Where Kirk Brandon walked his dog too.
5) I went to school with 2 members of UK Punk band Discharge
6) My Mum once served Mrs Noddy Holder in a Chemists
7) And i was once Threatened by Bobby Gillespie (Pre Screamadelica) in a Club i was working in after asking him to finish his drink because we were closing and he was the last person in there. Lets just say i'm three times(not literally,pedants) his size and you guess the rest.

I've played on stage a number of times with Ed Wiles, the superb pianist brother of Adam Wiles (aka Calvin Harris).

Do I win a prize?

And last year I lived with an artist who's mum used to babysit Andy Bell from Ride / Oasis.

Any good?

for one-trick, broken mic, Northern 'comic' Norman Collier.

He filled his car up at the petrol station where I worked - this was about 1981 - and threw me his cheque book and said "You do it." At the time I thought he must think himself too big a star to do anything so mundane, or perhaps - perhaps - he couldn't read or write.

Now, thinking about it, I wonder if his motive was to be able to plausibly deny he'd ever written it - he'd tell the bank his book had been nicked and someone had been cashing his cheques. "That's not my writing," he'd say.

We'll never know.

(who was not an actor) had a walk-on part in The Clash's film Rude Boy. His interpretation of 'man in skin mag emporium' was somewhat legendary, at least to me.

drew a wartime cartoon that almost caused Winston Churchill/Herbert Morrison to close down the Daily Mirror !

Was propositioned by St Bob in a Newport hotel after a Boomtown Rats gig. She declined, largely because 'How about it?' were the first words he'd addressed to her directly. A few weeks later he and Paula were all over the tabloids as an item.

was once hit on the head by a cigarette lighter thrown into the crowd by Dizzee Rascal

Faryl Smith (Britain's got talent 2008 loser ) performed at the HMV I work in on the day her album was released.

My dad once showed Rio Ferdinand where the toilet was.

I was on a sudent newspaper with Skin of Skunk Anansie noteriety - she didn't turn up much. Oh and Jim Dale's brother was a top contact of mine when I was a tyro hack whilst a certain top Tory demanded my sacking last year - think 'buffoonish'. (Erm, him not me, natch).

does grip and electrical work on film, tv and commercials so he's met a bunch of well known people. My dad scammed his way back stage without a pass when Jefferson Airplane played a few shows in Toronto in '67. Security was a lot more lax back then.

Most of my personal brushes with fame were at autograph signing sessions, I did spot Mickey Leigh (Joey Ramone's brother) in a diner in New York but just left him alone and I'm in a crowd shot in Bif Naked's video for Back in the Day.

Trailer Park Boys was shot very near where I grew up as a kid.

Newton-Le-Willows really is a hotbed of feeble claims to fame. About 10 years ago, in said Northern town, I worked in a hotel bar that was managed by a chap whose daughter once dated Richard Ashcroft. She broke up with him, and it was indeed her who inspired the Verve frontman's early heartbreak tunes.

One evening, she was in the bar with some friends and ended up adjusting my tie, as it wasn't quite knotted properly. I immediately rushed home and penned an album of mid-paced - gently psychedelic - ballads.

Incidentally, Kym Marsh, who's now in Corrie, used to sing in the bar on Sunday nights. I don't think anyone asked her to, but you couldn't fault the enthusiasm.

Having read other posts more fully, I can now share my own urine based reminiscence.

I did a wee next to Edward Larrikin from Larrikin Love in Southampton joiners before their gig there a few years back. I didn't realise it was him until we both left. Mainly because I was busy at the time.

Toilet venues in more than one sense of the word.

and nudged me behind for a quick One.

fell out of my duffle coat and landed on John Hawkins' (kybds Strawbs, formerly Renaissance and Nashville Teens) toe as I asked him for his autograph prior to the Strawbs gig at the Kelvin Hall c. Hero and Heroine

I organised the actual EFT payment between Marks and Spencer and Brian Ferry for his advertising for the company.

I used to go to parties with Gerard Pique (ex Man UTD now Barca)when he was 17 he didn't speak much english but seemed like a nice guy.

Once, during Art class at secondary school, a bloke came in and asked me if I'd like to appear in some photographs (that sort of thing wouldn't happen now!). My teacher shrugged and let me go off with the man (again, I refer you to my previous comment), and we went to this kind of warehouse where I was introduced to DJ Gary Davies and Lisa Stansfield (this was 1992, so she was pretty "big" then). My task was to stand around and look moody behind Lisa while some photos were taken for the local rag. What purpose Davies served I do not know. Still don't. All I recall is some blather about the Radio One "madhouse". Lisa hardly said a word to me, other than "Eh up luv, bet yer mate's'll be dead impressed."

... I once had a pee next to Will Young at the Edinburgh festival. I did not "peek." I rather wish I had now.

Also when my sister was young, her hairdresser lived next door to former (and very average) Celtic footballer Derek Whyte. She used to boast ironically about this a lot.

I lived in a house that was owned by the woman who was married to the first(?) manager of the HJHs - apparently she went to Hamburg with them and had a piano that one of them had written a song on, or something.

...by an alumnus of perhaps the most successful Cambridge Footlights troupe ever. This person's peers each went on to achieve international fame (and in one instance national treasure status) in their own right, but my stalker disappeared into the hell of his own personal challenges after a brief period of ubuquity in the early 1990's. A nice enough chap in many ways, but not my type at all, and sadly he would not take "no" for an answer...

In this star studded life I have, rewired Pete Townshends caravan, repaired Tessa Wyayt's {nee Blackburn} car & my dad was best mates with Denis Watermans elder brother.

knocked me over outside Barbican tube station. He wasn't in a car I may hastily add, he just caught me off balance. Punchlines gratefully accepted

The amount of brushes with fame I must have missed on account of my Niles Crane-esque shy kidneys. I really must get over it and step up to that urinal more often!

Bobby Gillespie stood on my foot at a club in Edinburgh (and never apologised)

I had Barbara Dickson's old Maths book from Woodmill High School in Dufermline.

Stuart Adamson bought me and my mate a pint cos we sqeezed up so him and his wife could sit down at the table.

One of my employees once went out with Chubby Brown's son,

I stopped Nick Rhodes falling over after he slipped in a pool of vomit at a Hazel O'Connor gig (Duran Duran were the support act!)

I bought a guitar off of Nigel Pearson's dad - not the ex-footballer Nigel Pearson, the Sky Sports speedway commentator! Beat that!

I once bumped into Les Dennis and Dustin Gee on Britannia Pier in Great Yarmouth and asked them for their autographs. Dustin was eating a large raspberry ripple ice cream, which, as he was scrawling on my proffered bit of paper, fell out of its cone and splattered on to his white canvas espadrille.

Also, Professor Norman Stone once barged past me and knocked me into a display of Cheesy Wotsits in a newsagent's in Oxford.

he went to a swinger's party and one of the enthusiastic "guests" was the daughter of a famous Liverpool comedian. Allegedly. (phew - Ed.)

Philip Lowrie, who played Dennis Tanner, worked on a milk round on our estate when starting out in Coronation Street.

of the Primitives used to be a neighbour. Curiously, her cousin very occasionally still cuts my hair in a barbers about 6 miles away.

Ladies Golf superstar Laura Davies lived a few doors down from me in the late 1970s. She was always playing golf, that girl!

Not Kenny Baker, mind, an actual R2D2 that appeared in t'Wars. A radio-controlled one.

Some bloke from up the road knew someone who knew someone. I wasn't that bothered about how Artoo came to be in my house, just that he was.

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall once tried to push in front of me to buy a sarnie at a corner shop. I grumpily advised him: 'Oi, there's a queue here mate'. He gave such a glare as he stomped to the end of said line.

c1981 in Port Grimaud South of France. Recognized his voice before I saw him and it was pre scandal days.

came into the bar of a pub in Hull (The Punch) looking for some heavy refreshment before playing the City Hall that night. He looked around and said "This is a shithole" and left.

my dad used to cycle to work alongside Roy North, fellow Hull teacher, later to become Basil Brush's straight man.

Also, my sister-in-law's stepmother used to do dress alterations for Posh Spice.

once asked me "are you coming for a drink too?" luckily the wife was with me to pick me up off the floor and wipe the drool from my beard...I have never recovered.

Saw Björn from Abba at the Bishop Centre shopping village in Maidenhead one Sunday morning - we did the decent thing and refrained from running up screaming demanding a photo and autograph as he was with wife and kids - decent of us maybe but kind of regret not getting some memento.

I mean the shock of seeing him in Maidenhead - now Slough I can understand - but Maidenhead?!

...went to the same school as me (but left before I started). However, we did live in the same village and I've used that telephone box that's mentioned in "Red Frame White Light". I won't specify what I used it for....

...never mind, here I am again. In 1989 I was given an icy and ultimately soul-sapping once-over by that decade's most famous Northern Pop Miserabilist (tm) at The Cornerhouse in Manchester.

One of my friends (who lurks this forum in silence, so I best be careful) was "seeing" the aforementioned bequiffed moaner's best female friend at the time, and he was kind enough to invite me down from Uni to snatch some of his action (pop - rather than love - action, I hasten to add).

I was, quite naturally, so elated at the prospect of being given a grand tour of Saddleworth Moor by White Golf GTI open-top culminating in a visit to the Indie-fop's glitzy Altrincham pad that I even had my hair cut.

We got to our meeting place in a fevered state of anticipation, and the fey tuneSmith merely hovered and circled, and then circled and hovered from a distance for what seemed like an hour while I chatted to his thoroughly nice video director friend and my mate chatted to his lady-lurve-thang, but ultimately it was not to be. My hair clearly failed the audition, and my meeting with old Bigmouth was off.

We left him there, smarting at the double-failure of his inability to both hit the top spot with his last gangster-loving single, and climb into the pants of a thug that was propping up the Cornerhouse bar. We headed for a night at the Hacienda at its peak, however, where they would regular play singles by said singer's former band to clear the floor at closing time. Zeitgeist, my revenge...

POSTSCRIPT: I "completed the set" about a year later when I saw the same Moaning Minnie's former guitarist enjoying a pie with Matt Johnson from The The in Porters restaurant in Fulham.

From Lawrence Donegan, bass player in Lloyd Cole and the Commotions, and looked after his cat (more correctly, he adopted us) when he was touring 'Rattlesnakes'. I got a big bag of clothes (JC Penney lumberjack shirts) and loads of books (Norman Mailer and Joan Didion) off his girlfriend when they moved out. Really nice people.

knocked back Wings front man Denny Laine... if only he had offered a swapsie with his then wife Jojo, we may have had a deal...
Also sold Macca and Jane Asher some morning rolls in a bakers where I worked.
Got told to fuck off by Roger Chapman (but hey, who didn't?).
Played tennis with various members of Gentle Giant.
Had a night on the lash with Andy Powell.
Ditto with Henry McCulloch.
Chatted up whatshername from Babe Ruth (Jenny Something?)...got nowhere, but FAST!
But the absolute pinnacle of my starf***ing was when I had old bluesman Tony "TS" McPhee in my old shop... not sure who was the most surprised...him that someone recognised him, or me having him in my shop. He bought a bottle of cheap red, and 20 Regal KS. He also told me what the "TS" stands for, but my lips are sealed.....

Nicholas Parsons once called me a very rude name while hosting something I wrote for the Liverpool Comedy Festival a few years back. Apart from that showbiz personified.

once had Tanita Tikaram working for him as a summer student doing filing.

And I once stood next to Rory Gallagher in a pub in the King's Road. Too wowed to speak to him.

Tell us the story about how you came to shake hands with Lowell George?

My dad was a stormtrooper in the original film. No, not that one.

He's also in the Danny Wallace book Yes Man.

Andrea Darling Bud once took me to the pub for drink. The Blue Posts on the corner of Hanway Street behind the Virgin Megastore. Then she threw up, being very very drunk. Lovely girl mind.

And Neneh Cherry once told me I had a nice jacket (it was too, a 70s looking leather that wouldn't have looked out of place in The Sweeney or The Professionals).

I took the nephew of 70s rock keyboardist Don Airey on a school trip to Belgium.

1. Dined with the mother of the producer of 'Tom Jones' and 'Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner'.
2. Played with the daughter of William & Tania Rose who wrote 'It's A Mad, Mad, Mad World'.
3. Went to a garden party at Dorothy Squires house in Bexley and fell in love with Carol Deene - not reciprocated. Got chatted up by William Brambell - not reciprocated!!!
4. Compered a concert by 'The Young Tradition'.
5. Broke a microphone belonging to Jimmy Powell of Jimmy Powell & The Dimensions fame.
6. Managed Deram Records outfit 'Paper Bubble' when they were 'The Mood'.
7. Spent a night drinking with Lionel Bart in Santa Eulalia, Ibiza in 1979. My wife of the time wondered who the hell he was.
8. Had an American penfriend who went out with blokes from 'The Left Banke' and 'The Lemon Pipers'. Also, she spent a night talking with Beatle George on their last tour in Cincinnati - telling her how much she looked like Patti.
9. Met Ewen Salon (Lucas -Maigret) while on a school trip to Paris in 1963.He was escorting a good looking woman through the Bois De Boulogne in the nicest possible way and still signed autographs for us.
10. Regularly chat to former football players when I'm covering football games.
11. As a result of several trips to Nashville I've got to meet several musicians and producers in Music City. Everyone is so friendly and approachable.

In my youth I worked in the cafe at a well known motorway services on the M6. All human life passed through there and in my time I served (or possibly poisoned), in no particular order:

Lemmy
Tony Wilson (twice)
George Best
Raymond Baxter
Richard Jobson

I also went to school with the guitarist from The Milltown Brothers.

I'm sure that you're all envious of my exciting existence.

I went to school with Gerry Love of Teenage Fanclub. He was a great guy at school and I remember him having the sartorial confidence to wear all things mod, e.g black and white spats, parkas, etc. This was the very early eighties I might add. I now stay in Bellshill where Norman Blake grew up, he was the guest speaker at my daughters` school prizegiving in 2008. His Dad was a newsagent in the town until retirement.
I see Duglas Stewart all the time, he lives just round the corner.
I also went Cardonald College in Glasgow where my lecturers remembered the young Jim Kerr posing and pouting before Simple Minds took off.

my best mate (who has a signed photograph of his dad with all of the Beatles in 1964-65) approached a man who he recognized as Richard Burton's brother (dunno what his or RB's real name is) and made him sign it "Richard Burton's brother". Don't ask. He also sat next to that girl who sang "Saturday night' (not Dido) on a flight from Finland and asked for HER autograph, plus my ex-girlfriend got Spike Milligan's autograph after seeing him come out of hospital in the 70's, after her mam had been in the same hospital as him; Spike had obviously after electric shock therapy, and he looked so ill she sent her dad to get the inscription. I saw the autograph. It looks a bit like Guido Fawkes after he'd been stretched on the rack for 3 days.

OK here goes:

I had drinks with Thin Lizzy backstage at the Hammersmith Odeon (Johnny the Fox tour) - Johnny Rotten was there too.

I met Jimmy Page and child at Chessington World of Adventures when I took my young son there for the day

I met and chatted with Robert Plant over a beer in Milan; I also met Mr & Mrs Richard Branson in Milan

I met Christopher Lee when my son made a film with him a few years ago (a very interesting guy)

I chatted to Eric Idle when he was filming at Longleat

I spent a pleasant evening drinking and chatting with Peter Firth in Accra, Ghana

You wanted feeble . Early 1970's my mothers driving instructor claimed to be the father of Mike Reid.

1967 she appeared in the press with Simon Dee .

A couple of years ago she proved security is not an issue to a retired midwife and barged some bloke with a gun aside to shake the hand of Mr Mandela .

Every morning I walk past the nightclub where Cheryl Cole (then Tweedy) was arrested for racially-motivated assault.

once tried to sell me a wah-wah pedal in the Cherry Tree pub in Southgate (mid 1970s). (I probably mentioned this before, I think, in another thread). He knew my sister from school and someone told him that I played guitar. I told him I didn't need one at the time.

His clothes had paint streaks (IIRC), but I am sure that this pre-dated 'Punk' by a year or so.

I also shared a lift at the Angel tube station with Johnny Rotten - just him, me and a city Gent in pinstripes/Bowler etc. (I worked next door to station at the time). I guessed who he was, although I had seen no pictures, and seeing him on 'So It Goes' some weeks later confirmed my assumption.

He had red hair, a pink jacket, slightly baggy striped trousers, little 'granny' shades and something silver (Swastika?) dangling from his ear. Having seen very early snippets in NME etc. about Sex Pistols, I thought - there's no-one else in London who would dress like that.

When I was a lad Tony Waiters's mum to used to walk their dog past our house.

My second cousin is Sir Robert Williams of Burslem, current solo artiste and former member of The That. never met him......

My wife is the starry one in our house:

- When at Uni in London in the 80's babysat for the kids of both Sting and Suggs. Not at the same time.

- went to school with both Timmy Mallett and Corrine Drewery (of Swing Out Sister quasi-fame). Again, not at the same time.

- during her Uni placement year in Paris hung around with a group of people which included Fiona Bruce. Allegedly, as another friend claims this is so but Mrs b can't remember her at all.

- Just remembered, she was also at Uni with Rory Bremner.

For a while I dated the sister of the guy who was and is the booking agent for the White Stripes.

The White Stripes video for "The Hardest Button to Button" was filmed in the park directly across the street from my apartment (Riverside Park, NYC), and at a gas station just down the street from there. Eleven seconds into the viddy, you can see my building (560 Riverside Drive) shown in the background, and at around 2:12 they are playing directly in front of my building. It was a sunny summer day, and they spent the whole day setting up/moving/taking away the dozens of amps and candy-striped bass drums you see. Quite a noisy affair, too. I was allowed to get close and got some good photos of the proceedings.

I sat on a couch with and talked/drank with Tony Ciccone at a party a few years back, in the Meat Packing district, NYC. Madonna's bro. Quite normal and unassuming. Didn't know it was him until someone told me, a while later. He was some kinda videographer at the time.

My friend Phil used to share a flat with Tom Robinson's brother, not Martin (who used to nick motors for a joyride until he rammed a black maria in this XJ6), but George, a computer programmer from Coventry. Both Phil & George had very attractive German girlfriends. Which was nice.

1. The first time I took LSD I was sitting in a room next to David Bowie's son. He didn't take any acid. Later, I watched fascinated, as he briefly turned into a horse. Later still, I curled into a ball and muttered "Help me". David Bowie's son did not help me. Why should he? How would he? He was a nice guy, but he wasn't a psychiatric social worker.

2. I once found myself standing behind Raymond Blanc in the queue at the Coop in Jericho, Oxford. He was buying white sliced bread and streaky bacon. I thought this odd, as he'd only just opened a restaurant one minute down the road, presumably full of tasty, stylish food he could eat for free.

A week later I saw him on the other side of the street and, emboldened by the sense of connection the previous encounter had engendered in me, I called out, in matey tones, "Oi! Ray!". He smiled, hesitantly and half raised a hand in greeting. But his eyes showed only fear.

My moment has come.

Like a trio of cheeses, I have a nontet of claims.

1. My cousin's husband played centre forward for Crystal Palace in the late 60's.
2. I played pool with Gilson Lavis and Glenn Tilbrook after a squeeze gig at Finsbury Park Rainbow in the late 80's.
3. I offered Alan Bleasdale an Olive at a Costello/Brodsky Quartet gig, to which he replied 'I fuckin hate olives'
4. I subsequently offered Elvis Costello an olive, which he took very graciously
5. Jamie Oliver went to my school.
6. My partner appeared in a photo with (Sir) Terry Wogan in the Buckingham Advertiser - apparently he was wearing a yellow v-neck and she sported a yellow kagoule. Nice!
7. I gave Hank Wangford a lift after he played our local village hall.
8. The Young Ones was filmed in our road.
9. I once saw Frank Muir in the street.

Life's been good......
9.

The cousin of the husband of a girl I used to employ before she moved back to Leicester was the fat bloke who was married to Kerry Katona. Or is that one of the fat blokes who was married to Kerry Katona? Who here reads Heat or OK! and can confirm details? He was in an Irish boy-band if that narrows things down at all.

Timmy Mallett used to call the office where I worked (the boss is a friend of his). No, there's even more...he would always sound so very, very, cheerful and upbeat that we fantasised that as soon as he put the phone down, he would draw the curtains in his filthy flat, put his head in his hands - and weep.

I saw him washing his socks in the sink of the basement toilets of St. James' Palace in Dec. '82. Bizarre evening. I was a disgruntled choirboy who had just realised that the Queen Mother was shorter than a Hobbit.

Mike Rutherford showed a 14 year old me and two chums around his home studio ( we were Genesis nuts and were camping near his Sussex home ). He was a wonderful guy to make so much effort for a group of kids turning up at his door out of the blue.

Bert Jansch and Robin Williamson after the Pentangle Cardiif gig. Meeting your heroes ? Wonderful.

Boozy anecdotes from Alan Williams and his partner, once Brian Epstein's secretary, in cheap bars in Liverpool.

I once accidentally sent David Bowie 1/2 ounce of Old Holborn.

Gavin Peacock's in-laws have an airport taxi business and drove me to Gatwick airport on successive Monday mornings for a couple of months in 2007. Apparently he's jacked in the punditry to study theology.

saw me playing slide guitar sat on the grass in main stage field at Cambridge Folk Festival in the late 70s, came over, altered my open tuning a bit and sat playing and chatting until Stefan Grossman insisted he come and rehearse for their spot, although at first when Grossman said he had to come and rehearse his response was, 'No you come over here', as he was clearly enjoying himself.

Lovely Fellow! RIP.

about tea infusers with Tommy Boyd in the queue for the till in the staff canteen at Central TV (Birmingham) when I was working on site there in 1991.

My wife's nephew once got a love bite courtesy of John Craven's daughter