just let me turn to the back page of Word magazine....

....that the Dutch are the tallest nation represented in this World Cup. That doesn't mean they've got the tallest team. It means the Dutch are, on average, taller than any other nation taking part.

How many of yous lot know
That song by Blackfoot Sue
“I’m Standing In The Road”
Was penned by the burly physio
Of non-league Farnborough Town

and thus became Champions of Sweden by scoring an average of less than one goal per game (25 goals in a 26-game season).

Team Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 AIK 26 11 13 2 25 – 15 +10 46

You wouldn't think it would be possible, would you?

Pompey owed pukka pies £40 at the start of the financial year.

played for Celtic.

Wales got to the Q-finals without winning a game. They lost 1-0 to eventual winners Brazil (Pele scored).

... used to be a big club.

He is the guy who has played on more number records than anyone else. (Is the man on Paul Weller's current album).

He is also one of the landlords to Arsenal's young players who relocate to London and live with a surrogate family. His last big name to live with him - Nicklas Bendtner.

He does this job cos he is a long-time friend of Pat Rice. He also plays in the club's in-house covers band and plays at the end of year concert when young players sing to the 1st team.

Trevor Oakes, founder member of Showaddywaddy, sired two professional footballers - Scott and Stefan.

has a more impressive footballing CV than José Mourinho. He played in goal for the Real Madrid youth team.

In 1993, HFS Loans League team Congleton were forced to call off a minute’s silence to mourn the death of the club’s oldest fan...when he walked into the ground.

Have played for Scunthorpe.
Answers on a web-based postcard.

... to score in a Manchester, Liverpool and Glasgow derby?

to a bizarre motorbike accident in the Yorkshire Dales that left him without the ability to speak for a month Richard Hawley's vocals for half of the tracks on Coles Corner were provided by Terry Venables.

Proof provided in the first couple of lines of Tel's latest platter:

Garrincha - lost virginity - goat

The first team ever fielded by Liverpool FC in 1892 was made up entirely of Scottish players.

Since moving to the cursed Emirates site Ars*n*l have never won a trophy

The English were shocked to see the Scots passing the ball to one another. Up to then, the English tactic had been to take turns dribbling the ball individually towards the goal and seeing how far they got before being tackled.

when he moved from Aberdeen to Manchester United.

was "Mr Crack"

Kevin Prince Boateng (of Portsmouth and Ballack breaking fame) will line up for Ghana at the World Cup and will likely face his brother Jerome Boateng, who will be playing for Germany.

On the same day in 1885 that Arbroath beat Bon Accord 36-0 in the Scottish Cup to set up a British senior record, Dundee Harp defeated Aberdeen Rovers 35-0. According to some reports the referee counted 37 goals, but accepted the club's tally, something they bitterly regretted later that evening when news of the Arbroath result reached Dundee.

is the only team in the top 4 divisions in England that you can't colour in any of the letters

Does anyone remember this train, with it's disco, fom the 1970's?
I came out of the toilet to have the door slammed shut by the motion of the train.about an hour later I noticed a long line of people in some discomfort waiting for the occupant to come out.I kept quiet.

Ferrari,biro, a ball and a rosary ?

When they were in the league all their home matches kicked off late, 3.15 to be precise. This was because the docks closed at 3 p.m. and it allowed the dockers to walk up to the game.

Is the only first class club in England & Scotland with a 'j' in their name

Is the only city to have had three teams in the Champions league group stages in the same season (Olympiacos,AEK,and Panathanaikos 2003/04 season)
Could be equalled by London next season.

The only place in Britain to have two clubs who have reached the semi-finals of the European Cup.

... played for Real Madrid in a 5-0 win over Barcelona. He was playing for Barcelona when they beat Real Madrid 5-0.

that Bobby Moore was accused of stealing a bracelet from in 1970 was 'Fuego Verde'.

... was Arsenal v. Arsenal Reserves at Highbury in 1937.

had no feeling in his feet due to a childhood farming accident and wore specially made boots, one much heavier than the other, so he could tell which foot he was using on the ball without looking at his feet.

are the same age to the day, both having been born on the 17th August 1977.

... as a result of having to borrow kit from Notts. County.

were at Nottingham Forest together under Brian Clough.

as it was the BBC world cup coverage just now, but Joe Gaetjens the scorer of US's goal against England in 1959 world cup was sadly kidnapped and murdered by one of Papa Doc Duvalier's death squads in 1964, his body has never been found sadly.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Gaetjens

Most sendings off (all-time, team)
Argentina (in 64 games)

Most sendings off (final match)
1990: both Argentina (v West Germany): Pedro Monzón, Gustavo Dezotti

Most cautions (all-time, team)
Argentina (in 64 games)

Longest suspension (player, doping)
15 months, Diego Maradona ( Argentina vs Nigeria, 1994)

Sent off from the bench
Claudio Caniggia ( Argentina), vs Sweden, 2002

Possibly not favourites for the Fair Play League, then...

First team to be knocked out of European competition on pens ... 1970/71 European Cup Winners Cup ... beat Honved 3-1 in Aberdeen, lost 1-3 in Budapest, 4-4 after extra time, Honved won on penalties ...

My team are the only club to score 6 goals away from home in a league game and lose. Answer? Huddersfield Town, we lost 7-6. The manager at the time was Bill Shankley. At the end of his final season he asked the board for some transfer funds as he felt we needed a couple of players become a real force, his request was denied. He went to LIverpool, a smaller club at the time and did quite well.

Europe's seven biggest urban conurbations have yet to produce a European Cup /Champions League winner - London, Paris, Berlin, Moscow, St. Petersburg, Athens and Istanbul.

(I know they haven't produced a winner, but I can't be arsed checking if they are actually the biggest conurbations).

...was invented by a Liverpool engineer called John Brodie. His patent was similar in every important respect to the nets used today, except that it had bells on it.

Ferrari,biro, a ball and a rosary ?

They've all played in world cup finals

Ferrari (Italy 1934) Biro (Hungary 1938 ) A Ball (England 1966 ) and Paternoster;a Rosary (Argentina 1930)

The 1973 FA Cup Final (Sunderland v Leeds) is unique. It's the only FA Cup final to have been played with an orange ball.

are called Emlyn and Emma Lynn

is the only player ever to have played in all 4 English divisions in the same season.

Is the only club in the league who's name contains no letters from the word Mackeral

Queen of the South

Scorer of a goal in the first World Cup final had no right arm below the elbow after an accident with an electric saw.

Hearts are the only club named after a novel, Sir Walter Scott's Heart Of Midlothian.
Stockport County's is the nearest ground to the River Mersey.

one year which was followed by Villa the next?

... WOOLWICH Arsenal. About time they went back there.

Won the European Cup with 10 players born inside the Glasgow City boundaries.
The only exception, Bobby Lennox, was born in Ayrshire. Now THAT is impressive. Also Glasgow holds the highest aggregate crowd for attending two games on one night....in 1971(?) Celtic played Milan at Parkhead (EC semi final) and Rangers were up against Bayern (ECWC semi final). Something ridiulous like 200,000 people attended these two games...I was one.

only agreed to be involved in The Lion King because he thought it was called the Brian King and was about Mr Clough. By the time he realised, he had signed the contract and couldn't do anything without incurring hevay costs to break the contract. This explains why the music is so poor because he then treated the whole thing as a contractual obligation.

...was on the books of Liverpool FC.

... the Rt. Hon. Michael Foot. He wore the number 90 shirt (his age when he became a registered player) for Plymouth Argyle.

This isn't very obscure, but it's possibly been forgotten.
This description is taken from the Guardian:

In 1998, Emmanuel Petit won the double with Arsenal before heading off to his native France, where he scored the final goal in the World Cup final.
Eight days later he strolled into a Monte Carlo hotel with his then fiancee, Ariane, put a 10 franc piece into a fruit machine and found himself £17,000 richer.
A fortnight later he won a nationwide poll to find the sexiest French footballer.
On the downside, towards the end of the year he broke off his relationship with Ariane.
On the plus side, he started a new one with Miss France 1992.
To round off the perfect year, that December he appeared in the Christmas special of The Bill.

Various grizzled sports hacks have told me that Liverpool - allegedly - didn't sign a certain maverick Teddy Boy because blood tests showed he had an STD. High blood pressure was cited as the reason for the deal falling through

Grimsby Town play every match away from home
(Home ground is in Cleethorpes)

... are the only team in the top division not to be promoted on playing merit

in the seasons before the outbreak of both the 1st World War and the 2nd World War.

Ian Ure is the shortest name of any british professional footballer.

As a teenager in the 70's Ted Chippington (aka Frank Smyth) had a season playing left back for Port Vale reserves. He had to give up football after stubbing his toe on a goalpost in a last ditch clearance incident. He took up comedy instead and the rest is history.